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I am 7+ months into a journey to an unknown result. 

There is progress, but I am still so grateful that the new living adventure I started just before severe, recalcitrant nodulistic acne took over my life means that I see no one, except a cashier at the grocery store. I love this life in the forest, in a beautiful motor coach with every comfort, and a few ants trying to escape soggy ground.

To start my story, I will pick up at December/January. I now understand how this vicious skin disorder works, and have found a few suggestions that have helped a LOT.

I had very painful lesions for three years before making the decision to try low dose Isotretinoin. Now, I have no pain because if hydrocolloid dressing. I first tried the pimple patches, and was so amazed how the pain disappeared within two minutes of putting a spot over a lesion . They were way too small and thin. Now, I have 4x4" and cut them to fit all the lesions. My " purge" has lasted seven + months, but as a dermatologist wrote, " it waxes and wanes. My face has almost cleared twice, and then out pops another bit of yuck.

All the yuck coming out of this old body is beyond any belief- so much yuck in my skin. My skin feels like it has turned on me.- I never had acne in my life.

But this is a journey of solitude, peace, calm and helping myself. These lesions all follow the same pattern. Whatever little yuck pops out is only the tip of something far more evil. What pops out is not, usually, the center of the ruptured pore...the " dagger" as I now refer to them, is close by and easy to find.

I have also learned that no lesion will heal if the dagger is still there. If a lesion continues, even after two weeks of hydrocolloid dressing, then there is a nodule still extending deep into my skin. Even Dermatologists don't pretend to be able to take these out...there can be five within very close proximity in an area that starts hurting.

No medieval torture instruments, or even tweezers. Because Isotretinoin is rapidly increasing skin cell turnover, these daggers will come out, with no collateral skin damage, and then the lesion heals within days and peels, leaving very soft skin. But there have been hundreds thus far, and it is far from done. Yes, I had five large lesions on my bum, with multiple daggers in each. The last is going.

I very gently, with a clean fingernail, circle the dagger ( easy to feel), going deeper each time around. It hurts, but all if a sudden, the pain is GONE. What comes out under the fingernail always looks the same: a red tinged, 1/8" bit of ?- whatever is in a nodule. Sometimes, if I catch it early, it is only a tiny, perfectly round, white ball, but can cause just as much pain.

There are always more daggers close by in a lesion... sometimes I just don't want to dig in anymore, and leave it until the morrow.

So, this is a far cry from earlier years of having lidocaine cream as my only solution- and that was probably clogging my pores. To be continued...


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