Have you posted for treatment recommendations or spoke to BA over pm? Treat the scarring. That's what has helped me most in a practical sense. Even if we will never look like the average person we can still look better than where we started. That increases confidence with every ounce of improvement. I've been relentless with working on the scarring. Skin care + diet (I'm plant based/vegan) + procedures

I practice meditation and explore spirituality, personally. Buddhism can be a secular practice used to reduce attachment and calm the mind, if you're not into metaphysics. A lot of great concepts to help you move forward, but I understand it's not something everyone would want to pursue.

I watch youtubers with scarring. Brian Turner, Cassandra Bankson, Brielle Farmer, Chubbyemu all have mild to moderate scarring. It helps to watch people with scarring pursue their dreams and live life to the fullest regardless. I actually watch people with more severe deformities as well. Special Books by Speak Kids features a lot of adults dealing with deformities in a positive manner. There's that ted talk by Robert Hoge. Lizzie Velasquez is wonderful. Lots of good material to move forward.

Here's some potentially controversial advice but don't make as much eye contact to be honest. I've had to completely adjust my eye contact communication because I can feel people uncomfortable and I start to get uncomfortable as their eyes wander. Make brief eye contact, look away and speak your truth. It's better to speak openly and without nerves than to be SO focused on the eye contact part of communication. A lot of people look elsewhere as they communicate. It's not normal to stare deeply as you talk anyway, and it's better to speak openly without nerves than to get caught up in eye contact. I don't know if people will disagree with that idea but it's worked for me. It's taken me a long time to get over this. I'm still learning, specially when someone has glasses. That messes with me to this day but my best option is to look off and speak well than to keep looking and getting more nerved up.

The world doesn't understand but we understand here on this forum. I come here often. I find comfort here, you're not alone. I get you 100%. You can get better. We're fighting a uniquely difficult battle but you can see through it.You're worth a lot, don't let skin deceive you.

actually my scarring is worse on my sides than my front so I look directly at people right in their eyeswhen I talk as so they can't see my sides XD

10 hours ago, AI3forever said:

I feel very depressed and anxious all the time due to facial scars. Having scars is bad enough, but the psychological torture is another thing.

I avoid eye contact when speaking with people. I started feeling people are talking bad about me when they talk when they probably aren't. I used to be a sociable charismatic and confident guy but now I am the total opposite. Although I try socializing, I still can't be "me" and it feels I'm trying to force it and I feel out of place.

Also no one ever sympathesizes or understand the situation. If you are an amputee or something they are still able to understand why you are more withdrawn in social places. But for acne scars sufferers people judge us same as normal people.

Not saying being an amputee is better, it is clearly not. But acne scars is somewhat glanced over as nothing serious matter when the impact to the sufferer is life changing.

Youre not alone, I have the same thoughts every day. I often wonder what I would be like if I had clear skin. I know I would be a different person. I have a good life but there is a missing part of the puzzle. I wish I knew what it was like to have good skin, even for a moment. I couldnt even imagine that.

There is always improvement and there is always hope.

I try and concentrate on other things. The good things in life. I go the gym and work full time.

Could be worse, you could be dealing with scarring AND active acne at the same time. That's what i went thru for many yrs, and it was awful. Now that i've finally managed to clear up the cystic acne, dealing with scar repair seems like a peice of cake.

There's good and bad days. When I'm focused on bettering myself in other aspects besides my physical, I tend to be more productive and feel better. I look forward to improvement in all areas of my life, not just my face. However, I have hope that one day my scarring will be trivial to me and I hope that everyone here dealing with it finds peace and lives a fulfilling life. So you essentially could deduce hope and betterment as my coping method, if you will.

Yup, I've been going through this stuff that passed 3 years when the scars have become more noticeable. I feel that when I have a lot of downtime and not busy is the worst for me and I start looking up random stuff on the web. Especially with this girl I really liked recently who I believe kept me in the friend zone because of the scars worsening. I just said screw it over the summer and stopped being afraid of looking in the mirror up close. Just want to face it no matter how bad I think it is, even though everyone doesn't think it's noticeable.

I keep myself busy, have done volunteer work, help out with former classmates, help my parents with whatever they need, exercise, read, watch my sports, etc. It's easier said then done, but you have to remember that you have many people on your side. We all want to make visual improvements, but your well-being is most important.

8 hours ago, joeysk said:

actually my scarring is worse on my sides than my front so I look directly at people right in their eyeswhen I talk as so they can't see my sides XD

LOL same here, mainly the left side.

Your feelings are shared by many people with facial scarring. Every time I think I made progress in caring less about what people think, an incident will pull me right back to feel totally insecure and down. @Kay24made a really interesting point about eye contact. What I've noticed is that I get two types of reactions. The a-holes who stare at me and make comments to their friends within earshot of me (thinking I can't hear, or purposefully saying it knowing I'd hear). The other type are people who won't make any eye contact with me because they get uncomfortable having to see scars. Both reactions can make me frustrated and depressed honestly. I notice this all the time with cashiers, who will greet other people and look them in the eye. With me they will ring me up and not look at me, which is strange when you have to hand something to me. They might be trying to not look at me because of disgust or not wanting to make me feel bad. But I know why they're doing that.

Dating seems like an insurmountable challenge sometimes. Everyone wants to put up pictures on dating apps that are attractive, but when I put up pictures I can't help but feel like a fraud. I would say my scars are moderately bad(used to be severe before treatment). Not nearly as bad as some cases we've seen, but certainly enough for people to comment on. But they don't necessarily show up well in pictures. In the end I get anxiety about actually meeting people in real life and potentially having bad reactions. It would honestly be too painful because I know exactly what it's about. I get a decent amount of interest, but I am too nervous to follow through. Sometimes I will run across a profile of someone with noticeable acne scarring. Almost as if they're saying, this is me take it or leave it. I wish I could be that brave and put myself out there like that.

As for practical advice, I think maximizing other aspects about you can help. Even with the scars, I noticed that I got more positive reactions when I lifted weights and put on muscle and looked more fit. Getting a good haircut or buying a nice outfit are nice little things to make me feel more attractive.

I given up to the fact that I will be doing fillers 2-3times a year sculptra or HA for the rest of my life. I think it should solve a lot of my problems. XD

Most people who have acne scars don't even look that bad. Most people who post here barely have scars. Like Cassandra Bankson is mentioned here, no one outside of this forum would even register her scars. If you have scars like her and you're deeply affected by that, you need psychological help.

With severe scars I find that time helps with the mental side of it. It's like grief, really, in time it will still hurt, but you'll get used to it and learn how to deal with it better.

Me, I was made fun of in an acting class I attended in my early 20s. The teacher started with the jokes, ranging from the talking orange (because my skin looked like one haha wow the queen of comedy this lady was) to wanting to sandpaper my face to announcing to the other students about the full moon today. The other students joined in, and the jokes continued to our private lives. At that time, I had no career, broke, and never had a girlfriend. I blamed it all on how disguising I looked, and attempted suicide. I survived the attempt, then with a huge middle finger to the world, took on a regular job, savedas much money as possible, and got treatment. Options were limited back in the early 2000s. There was dermaabrasion and Smoothbeam. I tried Smoothbeam, then subcision, then Cooltouch, then Fraxel, then some dermaroller (medical grade), then I did only subcision for a few years. My most recent treatment were subcision and Infini and this combination is the best in my opinion.

The thing is, the improvement to my skin was one thing, but the fact that I was doing something, anything, about it kept me going. The fact that I amactively fighting my own battles, and winning, was exactly what is keepingmy confidence up.

I feel you on this. Definitely hard to work through anxiety related to scars.

One thing I've started to do recently is to subtly lookat other people's faces to see if I can see any scars or imperfections. I've actually been surprised that people whom at first seem to have great skin, actually have scarring and blemishes when you actually look for them. This made me realize that I very likely perceive my own scars as worse than how others perceive them. This has definitelyhelped with the anxiety and dysmorphia a bit.

On 10/5/2019 at 4:11 PM, Vidrar said:

Could be worse, you could be dealing with scarring AND active acne at the same time. That's what i went thru for many yrs, and it was awful. Now that i've finally managed to clear up the cystic acne, dealing with scar repair seems like a peice of cake.

Scarring and active acne? I know that pain all too well

I definitely get anxiety issues. At one point, one particular side of my face had more scars than the other. I would always try positioning myself so that people see me from that perspective. I also use tinted things to try lessening the discoloration from existing scars and acne

Everything I™ve experienced has already been commented on in this thread. Sending you all lots of love. There are good scar treatment methods out there, there is hope! Even if you never treat the scars, life is still beautiful and worth living. You are valid, you are loved and you have a purpose in this world. 
 

additionally, I just remembered I did a video addressing this issue (or just a random flow of consciousness) while ago, feel free to check it out  note this was before I got my scars treated! They are now 40-60% better.

On 12/30/2019 at 12:01 AM, SkinnyStrong said:

Me, I was made fun of in an acting class I attended in my early 20s. The teacher started with the jokes, ranging from the talking orange (because my skin looked like one haha wow the queen of comedy this lady was) to wanting to sandpaper my face to announcing to the other students about the full moon today. The other students joined in, and the jokes continued to our private lives. At that time, I had no career, broke, and never had a girlfriend. I blamed it all on how disguising I looked, and attempted suicide. I survived the attempt, then with a huge middle finger to the world, took on a regular job, savedas much money as possible, and got treatment. Options were limited back in the early 2000s. There was dermaabrasion and Smoothbeam. I tried Smoothbeam, then subcision, then Cooltouch, then Fraxel, then some dermaroller (medical grade), then I did only subcision for a few years. My most recent treatment were subcision and Infini and this combination is the best in my opinion.

The thing is, the improvement to my skin was one thing, but the fact that I was doing something, anything, about it kept me going. The fact that I amactively fighting my own battles, and winning, was exactly what is keepingmy confidence up.

Wow.... I want to punch that a-hole teacher for you. How incredibly unprofessional and mean-spirited can someone be to say something like that? I'm angry from just reading your post. I cannot fathom how a human being can be so thoughtlessly cruel to another like that. But then again, I have so many stories of incredibly cruel things people have said to me as well so it also doesn't surprise me how low people can sink to. The worst is when people get riled up in a hive mentality when they're in groups, so they single out people.

I completely agree with your point about taking action and taking back our power. Having acne scars makes us feel so defeated because they are so hard and expensive to treat that improvement seems out of reach. But I can honestly say that in 2020, we have more viable options than ever that can really make an improvement.

59 minutes ago, dazzed said:

 

Wow.... I want to punch that a-hole teacher for you. How incredibly unprofessional and mean-spirited can someone be to say something like that? I'm angry from just reading your post. I cannot fathom how a human being can be so thoughtlessly cruel to another like that. But then again, I have so many stories of incredibly cruel things people have said to me as well so it also doesn't surprise me how low people can sink to. The worst is when people get riled up in a hive mentality when they're in groups, so they single out people.

I completely agree with your point about taking action and taking back our power. Having acne scars makes us feel so defeated because they are so hard and expensive to treat that improvement seems out of reach. But I can honestly say that in 2020, we have more viable options than ever that can really make an improvement.

Thank you for reading and understanding. Me too, I want to punch her. Unfortunately, a guy punching a lady never looks good on the guy. And going to jail for pieces of shit like her - not worth it. My revenge is to live a great life, while she descends into an ugly existence. I actually bumped into her recently. She called me. I said hi, and wanted to walkoff. She said I'm looking great ( I have changed a lot since she taught me - treatments and working out makes a huge difference)I replied, "Thank you!" And walked off, with no second glance. She was just a speck of dirt to me, needed no further attention except to be wiped off.

Interestingly, this teacher, along with the classmates, and some 2 or 3 other "friends' in my teens were the only people cruel to me about my skin. Nobody else was after this.

In both cases, you are absolutely right, there was a hive mentality. Teenagers, I forgave them. We were all young, and needed to develop empathy. This teacher was in her 40s, and I was her most hardworking student, often staying later, and helping her in projects even when I didn't need to. She should be ashamed of her behaviour. I'm now 37 and know I would NEVER say shit like that to a young person. Or old. Or whoever. I was angry. And I will stay angry. This anger is good. This anger has done these for me:

1. Be kinder

2. Save money for treatment

3. Strive to be a better version of myself by working out

Some may argue I have her to thank for forcing me to work so hard. Maybe, but when I see how much better she treats other students who she deems are better looking with great skin, I think she's just a rotten person, and all credit for self improvement is mine and mine alone.

Times have changed. There are indeed some better treatments for acne scars out there, and more competition for derms, so prices are kept competitive.

What about you? Do you have a cruel experience to share?

I think we've made strides as a society. This shit was okay back in my younger years too. We're about the same age. I remember in those days I had teachers openly using racial and homophobic slurs that would get them fired in 2 minutes flat. That teacher would never be able to get away with that now with social media. I agree, the best revenge is to do well. Hateful people always end up imploding anyways.

You are little fighter too!

I definitely how you feel my sweetheart - only a few of us can imagine how painful it is talking with friends (especially go outside when the sun doesn't go down) or go to a party / event and don't get drunk because of the reflection in the mirror on the toiled of the pub.

'Go outside make you happier'

'Have friends make you happier '

 It is not true - you must somehow start with loving yourself if you want to living on this earth  

According to me - it is really depends if you have scars and strong skin (not like paper) - so they can't go worse and you can do so many activities  

This Xmas - I didn't see any friends because I caught my reflection in the mirror under typically very bright light and see all structured scarring on my face so I told myself 'You are so ugly - none of your friends have something like this on their skin' and this depression continued with 'I can't go skiing with my BF because my scars will get worse I'll get rosacea' or 'I really want to dance professionally, however ever dance studio has lots of mirrors and girls have normal skin that can go sweat' so I'm stuck - I don't know what to do and I become toxic, mean person to other (even to family) and quite pathetic - my weekly quote is 'I'll live for a few years and then I'll kill myself - haha' - this actually help me when I go somewhere (party/event/etc.). 

I stopped with all my hobbies because I'm so angry and sad that nothing is matters, however sometimes when I have better days - and do something - like cleaning house, painting, reading books - in the evening it is much better feeling - that I'm worthing.

Please, don't be mean to yourself - no one of your close friends can understand this pain and you have the right to choose where will you go, what will you do, what will you say   

Why in these robust growing technology, medicine, etc. they cannot fix simple the layer of the skin to look normal again.  

I have thousand of 'miracle' cosmetics (AHA peeling, la-roche, vichy, duacgel (for 7 years), zynerit, kiehl-s comestic (that promise miracles), C serum, avene cicaplast, clay mask, etc.)) from dermatologist, pharmacy, e-shops but nothing helps me with the color of the scars - they are still red and deep.

I want to ask you - is there anything that you really want to do - and you are stuck because of acne scars?  

Love ya!

Bye for now

@GrayEagleIf your scars are red look into Vbeam, as this pulse-dyed laser works well with taking out the redness. It can also help improve the appearance of scars as well. I'd also suggest CROSS and/or subcision with your deep scars. Does things you mentioned you've used the passed 7 years won't do anything for boxcar and ice pick scars. Good luck.

@dodgerguy Thank you for your advice I really predicated 

I've tried Vbam in our country - and it was for nothing - the whole month I can't go anywhere and effect no-one (the doctors there weren't professional).

After this, my second dermatologist (I have three) sent me to Hyaluronic acid filler by injections (because my scars need to be filled not peel off) after months I didn't see any improvements. Currently, the third dermatologist said to me last week - that I have so thin skin that even some acids (C serum, AHA, etc) will turn my whole face to red and will be so painful, so he definitely doesn't recommend me to go laser again or any Peeling. I'm very thin - I stopped eating properly so maybe some fats will improve my 'paper skin' but I must start living with this sh*t or find the best doctor on this planet and spend all the money on it.

 Thank you again

I wish I could give some advice here but I can only empathize. I try to not think about my lumpy face but various changes in light can really affect my appearance and I never know in what light people are seeing me. That really screws with my head. Depending upon the lighting, my face ranges from normal to "Yikes."

Years of fillers havemade what started as random dents in my face into a lumpy moonscape and I'm not happy about it. Is there hope? I'm not sure my skin will ever be normal at this point and I only have regrets. Like Cher sang, "If I could turn back time. . . ."

I'll post more about my journey in subsequentposts.