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I know everyone on here has their own struggle and I really hope that you know that you dont deserve to suffer and its not your fault. Please stay strong. 

 

I guess you can say that acne has been a big part  of my life since even before I was a teenager. My face, back and chest were terrible to look at. I could never wear any tank tops or girly dresses. Being 11, this really sucked, seeing all your friends wear things that you couldn't completely destroyed your confidenece. I just remembered all those times looking at these beautiful tops in the stores and not even wanting to try them on, eventually I began to avoid  them and started wearing baggy clothes. I know its not the worst thing in the world but it still felt pretty bad. It continued for 5 years and I never wore anything that shown my back or chest. I tried so hard to pretened I did't even want to wear those clothes. All my friends and family wore whatever they liked and it hurt so much to see them like that and never be able to expereince it. I felt so sad an hopeless. It sucked always being it the background. Later on I began to go for extractions with my parents. And belive me it really hurt. It was usually my face (which was tolerable) but my back was UNBEARABLE. My mom is an aesthetician and she had 'back facials" at home. I remeber crying how much extractions hurt on my back. She was only trying to help and was good at her job but I would go hysterical. She would get mad at me and it would make everything so much worse. I felt so bad and so guilty for having acne. But it still hurt. Years later I was in the same spot and it is currently getting a. Sometimes I cant sleep at night becuase of how traumatic the memory was. In school, I never changed in the changeroom, I was always by myself in the bathroom where no one could see me. I go to a nice private school and people there sometimes comment on my face and it hurts my feelings. I just wish so badly I could get my confiendece back and currently acne is the only cuase of misery in my life. My parents just get 'mad' at me for having acne. I can't control it and if I could i swear I would make it go away instantly. On the first day of 9th grade, one of my family members commented  that 'only their family member (me) had a screwewd up face in the entire school'.  I just felt so worthless.  I couldn't help it. I am pretty but without my acne I would honestly be so happy! My parents always compliment people on their skin in front of me and it just kills me. I spent nights and nigth bawling my eyes out. People have made comments and it just hurt me even more. I finally had the guts to share this (even its not a lot) but I am crying while I am typing this and I feel like everything is my fault. I wish I never had acne. Since grade 6 I felt like an outcast and horrid creaature and nobody makes it better. So much physical and emotional pain. 

Thank you so much for reading this. I want to share this and to the person on the other side of the screen; I am sorry if you feel like this, you are not alone and it will get better for all of us. Please take care of yourself (in any way you know) and I you feel better soon. It's not your fault and don't let anyone tell you it is. 

I'm sorry I'm like this. I wish I was better,

 

 

 

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