Hi all -

I'm pretty sure I've read everything there is on the internet about this topic, so I'm not sure if I'm looking for answers so much as I just need to vent.

I've had acne since I was 13. I'm 28 now, and my husband and I have decided we're ready to try for a baby. We've actually been ready for a few years, but one huge factor in my hesitation is being terrified of getting off of spironolactone. Spironolactone is god's gift to me... my skin was as close to perfect as I could reasonably ask for while I was on it (acne-wise at least).

Well, 3 weeks ago, I decided I was going to do it, and I stopped.

To be honest, the results are worse than I imagined. I was fine for the first 2.9 weeks, but then overnight (and that is not a hyperbole), I grew 5 cystic pimples on my chin, all at once. If it wasn't so damn depressing, I would be in awe over how quickly my face was able to do that. I also have a handful of "normal" zits all over my face, but I can't care about those too much given what's going on below. I know that it's (hopefully) temporary and that it'll go away once I can get back on the spiro, but that's not doing much for my emotional state. I cry every morning and night when I wash my face (it doesn't help that the acne HURTS physically). Sometimes I cry when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Sometimes I cry when I move my mouth and feel them. And sometimes I just cry. It's pathetic, and I tell myself I shouldn't feel this way and that it's only acne and it's only temporary, but good lord, I haven't felt this terrible for a long time.

Anyway, if anyone has any miracle cure, I'm all ears, although I'm pretty sure there's nothing to be done. I have an appointment with a dermatologist next week, but I'm not sure what I expect her to tell me. The acne is definitely hormonal (given how well the spiro works and how awful it's been coming off), so anything that will touch this is going to be off limits when I'm trying to get pregnant and/or am pregnant. I've been eating well (limited dairy, lots of water, hardly any sugar), I've been sleeping as well as I can, I do yoga, and besides the acne-related panic attacks (again, not a hyperbole), I've done a pretty good job of reducing the stress in my life. I've also started taking zinc supplements, and I'm using that renee rouleau anti cyst stuff along with a salicylic acid serum, but yeah, that's mostly just made the tears rolling down my cheeks extra expensive as they wipe the crap off haha