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Short acne story: I started getting it at 9, obviously very early, and it was what would be for a teenager moderate acne, gradually getting worse until about age 12. It was so bad they started me on accutane, despite me not having cystic acne it was bad enough to make the cut. It worked wonders for me, and I went off it two or so months ago. 

Recently, I've been slowly getting acne back, much like it began, and it's got me terrified.  Now I'm in high school and now it truly bothers me, and the childlike ignorance is gone. Blackheads are forming in the cracks of my nose (it doesn't sound right, but you know what I mean). I have this weird dark but painless bump on my cheek that's fairly large and I suspect is a cyst. I can't do this again. I just can't. The damage it did to me, skin wise and psychologically, in elementary and middle school was bad enough. It may even be cystic now, and I have no more derm appointments anymore to mention it. 

Jesus Christ, I'm 13 and entering high school. I just can't, and I don't know what to do. I also can't use anything but a gentle cleanser (which I do every single night without fail and usually once more if I have the time).
Thanks if you got this far. Any advice or support is appreciated.
 

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I'm so sorry to hear this! It's really tough to deal with.  Can I ask why you can only use a gentle cleanser?  Do you have really sensitive skin?

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Friend, as a 26 year old who still has severe cystic acne and Accutane failed me, I feel your pain. I highly recommend going back to your dermatologist and PLEASE remember that people don't see your acne in nearly the same negative light that you see it. We are our own worst critiques. 

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We all understand your pain here. I've been on accutane three times with no luck! However, working with a dermatologist and a therapist keeps me going. Reach out for help if you need it. It's available. And never feel like you're going through this alone.

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