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Guest Shjaker

I don't want to show him my picture..

Guest Shjaker

16 months ago I met someone online I'll name ..."Atticus". >.> (this is already sounding like a Dear Abby ad). Anyway, he gave me his picture the very first day we met and I liked him already. We have a psychotic amount of things in common, and end up saying the exact same things at the same time. o.o; We're a lot closer to each other than our real life friends, and he's pretty much the best friend I've ever had. I love him so so much, and he loves me too, but.. I haven't given him my picture yet, because I'm so scared what he'll think about my face.. It's just this acne! If I didn't have it, I'd give him 5 pictures per day.. but it's bringing me down so much. It's been 16 months and he's still very patient with me and loves me more than ever (is he mad? o.o). He never threatens to "stop talking to me" or "give me a pic or else I'll...". He's just.. so patient.

I 'jokingly' made up scenarios like, what if I weighed 250 lbs, what if I had bad acne (heh.. >.>), and he said he wouldn't care because he loves me more than that.

That's sweet and all but.. I'm sure he's going to want to kiss and look into a smooth-faced girl sad.gif

I feel so bad.. 16 months.. that's a long time. I've even cried over it sometimes. He wants to meet next summer (and I really want to too, except for one obvious factor) and that just makes me cry even more. O.O;

I've tried working up the courage to just tell him "hey, look.. here's why I have been making excuses for not giving you a picture yet.. I have acne, and it makes me really self conscious. I'll understand if you don't love me anymore". (I know we'd still be good friends even if he saw my acne.. I just dont think he'd want to date me..)

What should I do? Just be honest?.. Being honest must be the right thing to do. But it's so hard. Is there any other way I can word it so it won't sound so "I have zits all over my face!"ish.

I'd be traumatized if he was disgusted by me.. I love him so much I'd want to marry him someday sad.gif

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hi shjaker

it seems u took the right step in broching the subject of "what if i looked like this"

cos even though u said it light heartedly his reply did seem to have a lot of integrity. also id like to say that it sounds like he isnt bothered about what u look like anyway since youve been communicating for 16 months and he doesnt know what u look like. if appearence was important to him i doubt he be talkin to people over the internet anyway smile.gif

i think u should try to be brave and put a littke bit of trust in the guy, since hes spent 16 months investing his emotions in you.

I've tried working up the courage to just tell him "hey, look.. here's why I have been making excuses for not giving you a picture yet.. I have acne, and it makes me really self conscious. I'll understand if you don't love me anymore".

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Guest Shjaker

Thanks, angel ^_^ I did see guider's post! It reminded me so much of my case.. except they've actually met now and the worrying is over. o.x He's certainly an inspiration though tongue.gif

and in response to your question, Misfits. Honestly, I don't even know the answer myself... The simple fact is, no one can tell you you're in love. You just know it. smile.gif

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Thanks, angel ^_^ I did see guider's post! It reminded me so much of my case.. except they've actually met now and the worrying is over. o.x He's certainly an inspiration though tongue.gif

and in response to your question, Misfits. Honestly, I don't even know the answer myself... The simple fact is, no one can tell you you're in love. You just know it. smile.gif

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Misfits stop being a smart in every Post....Its easy to love someone if you have never seen them. I had a pc friend i cared deeply for. And no son i diddent photo shop my pics...If want advice how to get big just ask eusa_angel.gif

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It is actually possible.Different people have different needs.

Really,if the guy says he truly loves you,and that he truly doesn't care,then I believe he is being sincere.But you will never know until you meet him.Maybe you can have a serious talk about your concerns?Instead of asking what if you looked like ....,you should just tell him the truth about your concerns,and maybe he'll understand better?Really,consider that.

About meeting him,be careful,alright?

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Misfits stop being a smart in every Post....Its easy to love someone if you have never seen them. I had a pc friend i cared deeply for. And no son i diddent photo shop my pics...If want advice how to get big just ask  eusa_angel.gif

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LOL Kickboxing? ........dude I never took steroids ...I love how u idiots just assume that I take roids cus I busted my ass for 5 years

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Guest Shjaker
no way you can see your acne on every picture...

plus there is photoshop for fixing skin to look perfect...

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I'm somewhat in the same boat, but not exactly.

I have a few friends I met online several years ago; one in particular I've grown somewhat fond of. Not to the point where I LOVE him, but enough so that I'd feel self conscious about myself if we ever were to meet.

Thing is, I showed him a picture a few years ago of myself, and at that point I didn't have any acne. So of course he found me stunning, blah blah blah, and ever since I got acne I've been too ashamed to show him any recent photos.

Anyhow, what I'm trying to get at is... well, first off, stop playing those "What if I'm..." games with him, and either tell him the truth, or take a damn picture of yourself and show it to him. It's unfair to play games with him, despite that you're not trying to be malicious. But really - if your boy is saying he doesn't care what you look like because his feelings are at a point where physical attraction takes second place, then I don't think you have a lot to worry about. He loves you, and that's nice.

Most people can see the beauty behind the acne, unless your acne is, well, extremely severe. Then it's difficult to look past it. But I've seen some of the pictures of both girls and guys on here who have acne, and many of them are still quite attractive despite their spots.

So I say go for it and just take a picture of yourself and show it to him. Maybe crack a joke saying, "I know, I know... my skin isn't perfect." At least that will open a door towards that type of discussion, and then maybe at one point you can tell him how much you worried about your acne.

Either way, I wish you luck. And as Bluestar said... be careful if you ever do meet him. I know you said you've spoken to him on the phone and voicechat, but still... you can never be too cautious.

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I met a girl like this over the internet once. For a while we practically treated eachother like we were going to get married!!!

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if you show a picture then don't edit it or pick one that doesnt show anything. This is misleading. But then again, how bad is your acne? Mild stuff, who cares? I was in a similar situation years back when i was 14, I broke it off, never told them the truth. I feel guilty after all these years. still, I don't want you to be the same. SO just send your picture if you really like this person. If they are as nice as you say, they will still like you. if they don't, then they wern't worth it in the first place.

ANd I'm pretty sure when I say that you gotta give guys some credit, we're not all losers

chow, and goodluck, I really mean it!

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side note: meeting people over the internet is shady, many people use the anonymity to create a whole new identity that is far different from who they are in real life. neway why dont you just send him a picture of you with acne then surprise him by not having it when you goto meet him in the summer? (tane)

also i'd bring a friend with you when you went to meet him unless you can handle yourself

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Guest Shjaker
side note: meeting people over the internet is shady, many people use the anonymity to create a whole new identity that is far different from who they are in real life.

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I agree that that's how some people use the internet, but when we met I wasn't on the prowl for a boyfriend, or even a friend. I think trying to cover up who you really are is stupid. It may work at the beginning, but it sure as hell cannot be pulled off in the end. Which is why I just have to be open about my acne... sad.gif

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yeh that thing is true about safety. I have no idea how old you are. Best meet in a public place, don't be going anywhere empty. But yeh, tell us what you wanna do, please!

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Don't photoshop.Don't be a fake.I know I would feel bad if I did that.Just tell him about yur concerns.it might seem hard,and silly,but it will probably be worth it.And hey,if he doesn't like you because of your acne,better to receive the news now than when you meet!But it really does seem like he cares about you,so go for it.

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Guest OnlyJoe

i totally agree

Where you may be really self consious about it, he wont care (providing your sure hes worth the hassle and not shallow enough to care)

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