Hello everyone. This is the first time I joined and the first time im posting this on this forum.

I am 29 years old Asian female with severe acne scars. And sadly...these are actually significantly better then they used to be however it's still horrific. The camera doesn't even show the full extent of it because I have severe hyperpigmentation black red purple marks right on them as well...I've also developed wrinkles on top of this as the acne bacteria destroyed my collagen completely and ate it's way through...so the cells were not able to repair...

I know there is nothing I can do as I have active acne still I am most likely going to have to go back on the second course of accutane ...and unfortunately this means I cannot do laser or even use a derma roller while on it to fix this fucking shit.

I have had severe chronic acne since I was 13 years old and have tried literally everything. Unfortunately it is deeply genetics for me as members of my family have had severe cystic acne to the point where many of their faces are permanently disfigured from it...one of which is my uncle who has had a worse case then mine. Despite drinking several litres of water and even on a vegan diet and a strict skin care regimen acne never ever stopped. Now I'm left with these hideous soul destroying scars that I cannot get rid of no matter what I do...

I've never seen anyone my age and an Asian female with scars like this in my life and it looks especially atrocious in dark and dim lighting.

Due to this I've not even been able to look at people I subconsciously avoid their gaze and I turn away when I even have an admirer because I feel disgusting with this. No matter what someone else thinks I cannot figure out how to be satisfied with these scars.

I've tried hypnosis and therapeutic coaching and watched and meditated with many sources and videos on how to rewire my brain and the closest I got was to get my deranged mind to lie to myself before reality crashes down.

I know there are worse things out there but as a young woman where beauty is socially very important this has literally and quite catastrophically changed and rotted me from the inside out. I see people with horrible habits drinking smoking and drugs who have beautiful skin while I come home and cry when I see this in the reflection every day. I have no social life because my acne is so bad I literally cannot do the things most people do I have to come home to take care of my skin and it gets worse with bad diet.

Left cheek is worse then the right but I have a deep large pitted gash one on the other side which wouldn't show here. Overall scarring like this is literally all over my face. 

Makeup does not cover this I've tried literally everything. Bio oil etc even the dermatologist told me that accutane won't get rid of these types of scars.

What I don't understand is I've seen people with worse acne then me that have NO SCARS while I am left with severe scarring more then them...how and why is that possible? I heard Asian skin is more prone to scarring...

Can anyone give me advice on what you did to get rid of these scars...or did you destroy a part of your soul to convince yourself to live with it and legitimately be happy ? To make it worse someone I legitimately loved and cared for told me in their honest opinion that these scars are unfortunately horrendous and that he does not find it attractive...I don't blame him I couldn't either. My dating life is also destroyed..

I literally can't even think straight and am in so much mental anguish from this ...I am a husk of a shell remaining just wondering and dreaming of a life where one day I can finally have beautiful skin.. I ask myself what I did to deserve this when I've always had a healthy lifestyle of excercise water and greens. I don't drink any alcohol and don't smoke...