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Pixiilate

Gay, acne and struggling with dating

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I’m currently 23. Just started accutane a week ahí.  I’ve never had a boyfriend and I think it’s because of my acne. I’ve dated but I can’t help thinking that they’re looking at my face because of it, I topped wearing make up cause I don’t want to make it worse but it makes me feel so insecure. The funny part is I wouldn’t mind if I’m dating someone with acne or whatever but I feel they do. Gay guys are usually really shallow. I’m just scared to date anymore and I know I don’t need no man lol but I just wanna hate my life with someone but acné wont allow me to come forward or even flirt . Is there somebody else who feels like this ? :c

Edited by Pixiilate
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The right person won’t care about your acne. Trust me. It is very hard on your self esteem but you don’t want to be with someone that shallow anyway. 

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I'm in this exact situation, even down to the age, except I did my accutane run about 10mo ago and I'm recovering from severe scarring. I don't have any advice because I've never had a boyfriend either, but I've had people be forward with me or who have wanted a serious relationship and immediately felt uncomfortable because I felt I wasn't worth it. I was too comfortable with the hookup culture, where things were just easy, low pressure, and seemingly normal.

But I think that goes to say that finding a relationship isn't dependent on the circumstances of your skin, it's dependent on yourself, chemistry, and everything else that goes into any normal relationship, and if your date can't see past how your skin looks in that moment of time, which happens, then he's probably not worth sharing more time with.

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I'm sorry that you feel like acne is affecting your self-confidence in the dating world. It's tough out there as it is WITHOUT acne and gay men tend to be very shallow and image-oriented. I'm saying this as a 27 y/o gay man himself. ;) 
I've felt similarly from time to time, but I often wonder--how much of the suffering I give myself is actually caused by acne and not by my overthinking, my anxiety, my inability to love myself, my lack of self-confidence? Ultimately, that answer rests with you. You can either let the zits determine your happiness & self-worth or you can build self-worth that isn't dependent on how your skin looks. The same goes with dating.

I don't know you, but you are worthy of love.

My best wishes to you.

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11 hours ago, makingtime said:

I'm in this exact situation, even down to the age, except I did my accutane run about 10mo ago and I'm recovering from severe scarring. I don't have any advice because I've never had a boyfriend either, but I've had people be forward with me or who have wanted a serious relationship and immediately felt uncomfortable because I felt I wasn't worth it. I was too comfortable with the hookup culture, where things were just easy, low pressure, and seemingly normal.

But I think that goes to say that finding a relationship isn't dependent on the circumstances of your skin, it's dependent on yourself, chemistry, and everything else that goes into any normal relationship, and if your date can't see past how your skin looks in that moment of time, which happens, then he's probably not worth sharing more time with.

I mean yeah, I always feel uncomfortable with dating, Guys would talk to me but I am so afraid of going on a date cause they might think I’m disgusting and I’ve just isolated myself haha I know that’s not good but can’t help it. 
10 hours ago, GrinVerdict said:

I'm sorry that you feel like acne is affecting your self-confidence in the dating world. It's tough out there as it is WITHOUT acne and gay men tend to be very shallow and image-oriented. I'm saying this as a 27 y/o gay man himself. ;) 
I've felt similarly from time to time, but I often wonder--how much of the suffering I give myself is actually caused by acne and not by my overthinking, my anxiety, my inability to love myself, my lack of self-confidence? Ultimately, that answer rests with you. You can either let the zits determine your happiness & self-worth or you can build self-worth that isn't dependent on how your skin looks. The same goes with dating.

I don't know you, but you are worthy of love.

My best wishes to you.

I know, I’ve come a long way to have the little self esteem I have but damn acne won t go away haha. I’ve been trying just to go with it and stop wearing make up but then I feel too uncomfortable and just go and cry in the bathroom at work lol. But thank you I hope itll go away . For all of us 
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