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I just made an account to get this out my soul.
I am a model.I am tall,I am athletic,I have a perfect smile and I look pretty good.From a young age I was taught that only perfection by human standards is allowed.My parents were strict but they gave me everything I need and encouraged me to do everything I want as long as I do it good.
In highschool I was gorgeous,I had a very clear skin,no zits,no nothing.I just assumed I jumped that acne part,I was happy.
I finished highschool and moved to a bigger city to study at university and my nightmare started.I had a huge breakout on my chest,shoulders and back but my face remained clear.This just destroyed my self esteem,went to dermathologists,I saw plenty but none made my acne go away.In my second year of university the nightmare went to the skies,I had a face full of cystic acne,I cried when I watched myself in the mirror,again,I couldn't do nothing,I stoped going to the gym because I was ashamed of my skin,luckily I had the strenght to go and succed in university.
I got my first depression based on this,while at home in the summer break I had a breakdown,I just scratched my skin out of my face with my nails,I was so angry that I felt no pain,nothing...I just scratched like a maniac.My parents sent me to hospital and by a miracle I have no scars except a bit on my cheeks and jawline.I was sent to a plastician(I am pretty wealthy) and he,for the first time,sent me a home with a clear face,I cried when I removed my bandages,nobody except my parents and my best friend know about this,they think I had a moto accident because I use to ride it often.
In my fourth year of university something magical happend,my body acne went away,I had milia on my shoulders but the acne kinda went away,my face was still clear and I quite forgot about my problems,until now.I just finished my semester with a clean maximum of points,but I breakout again.My face is wrose than has ever been,I went home to scream and my parents keep an eye on me to not do something stupid.My main problem is that I suffer from vanity,I can not stand having imperfections,my father told me that he had acne just like mine but it went away at 24.I can not bear two more years of this.Another thing that is bothering me is my sex life,I used to date the best girls in highschool and my first month of university,now I hadn't had sex in two years,my acne is ruining it for me,it just ruins my self esteem,i feel that I want to fucking suicide,I just can't take it anymore,each day I am closer to repeat the mistake I did and tear my face like a maniac.I just cannot cope with it.
Tell me how do you manage this,I just....I do not think I can take it anymore.
Now the part in which you will curse me,it is mild to moderate acne,I know,I am shallow,but I can't stand the fact that is happening to me,I eat great,I exercise,I wash,I CHANGE pillows.My lasty derm said it is genetically and there is nothing I can do except doing hydrafacials everyweek.I can't.Why me,WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?Why me?WHYYYY.
I do not ask for pity I just want to hear about your stories because I feel like taking a knife and cutting my fucking head off.

Edited by RileySilas

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I know what thar feels like. My story is a bit different. I used to have bad acne in high school. In university my mom made me see a dermatologist and I went on accutane and ny skin cleared perfectly. Suddenly people started telling me I'm handsome etc and I got attention from women, something that had never happened before. I had to be on the pills for a long time but my skin became stable. 
5 years ago I moved to South Korea and got so much attention because of my appearance. Of course it makes someone feel good when that happens. The. About 3 years ago my skin started ro go bad again. Most people would classify it as mild/moderate acne but for me it became a major blow. I started dieting and using skin products designd not to cause acne etc etc but nothing helped and ny skin just stayed that way.
It really messed me up and I became obsessed with my skin and every single imperfection. My self esteem got shot and my life wad basically just me being obsessed with my skin which triggered me to fall into depression. I started using the acne.org regimen and it worked for a month and a half everything was great my confidence was back and my depression went away. Then my skin started drying up and I have this layer of dead skin on my forehead i can't get rid of and I get acne everyday so my depression is back.I can't focus on my work or enjoy life. I rammed my head into a mirror because I eas so sick and tired of. 

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