Perhaps you know what im talking about, preferring to stay home every weekend and only going out to do the absolute necessary errands such as getting gas or buying food and even for those things you specifically wait until the times you know will have the least amount of people. All in an effort to avoid as many humans as possible, "why?" someone without acne/scars might wonder.
simple really... over the years of dealing with my bad skin. One has to eventually realize that this will never end, not because of lack of me wanting it to. But because my scars will never go away and being that im only human. I can only handle so much negative reinforcement brought down upon me for no other reason, than for my appearance alone. As if i chose to be this way, as if its my fault for being different from everyone else.
Just about everyday i walk out the front door, i get to experience the worst of humanity. The name calling, the stares, the laughter and smirks, being labeled a freak, wierdo, monster. An ugly atrocity not worthy of living on this planet along side other human beings, at least it sure feels that way doesn't it? How can someone fight something that is so fundamentally apart of them, indeed in your very dna? Medical science has not yet been able to present a definitive answer to a problem that in todays world has the potential to ruin someones life. By Stoping them from wanting to achieve, to pursue their ambitions and instead settle for the bare minimum when even that seems to be too much to ask for in accordance to the general public of our egomaniacal and narcissistic drivin society and if you somehow manage to find the will power to go on through the day to day grind. Your rewarded by watch your peers go on to live a much more enriched and fulfilling life from your own, where they get praised for simply being them. The same we we get ridiculed for just being us.
Its not fair i tell you, by all accounts you can consider me a "nice guy" hell maybe even a push over. The only time i ever really get worked up is when I'm trying hard on some video game, but other then that im about as laid back as one could be and yet every time i expose myself to others they feel the need to make me feel worse about myself for no reason at all. I've always asked myself why, why cant people just leave me the fuck alone. I don't care about them and they don't care about me, but yet people just seem to have absolutely no consideration over a stangers emotional well-being. It's remarkable how long I've managed to survive going on like this. Its been 12 years now since i first devolped this socially crippling disease, thats half of my life now and As well all know the world doesn't wait for you, so it feels as though I've been robed from experiencing a normal adolescent upbringing. Resulting in me become a very isolating and antisocial adult with very prominent social anxiety issues.
I just don't see the point in trying to get to know new people anymore, it's not as if I'll ever meet anyone as extraordinary as myself and yes i do consider myself an anomaly within my own society. A glitch in the system if you will, forever an outsider and never really being "one of them".
How does one come back from such a series of traumatizing events? Years and years of continual verbal onslaught meant to slowly break you down bit by bit, until one day you realize the person you once were has long disappeared.
I see no point to all the humilation and degradation I've had to endure from the hands of others and indeed find myself these days filled with nothing but hatred and contempt for my fellow man and everything we as a species stand for. For what is a man other then a slave to his or her own primitive desires, an animal pretending to be something he's not. Acting as though we live in a time of great achievements, when everyday i see and experience first hand evidence to the contrary.
So with all that being said, i have but one last thing to add to this little message to humanity of mine. "Your time will come" for no matter if your rich or poor, stupid or bright, young or old... death comes for us all and i personally won't be losing any sleep over any of these pathetic mortals once its time for them to take the traditional dirt nap. So rest assured, no matter how much you try to bring me down. In the end, I'll win.. because im on deaths corner motherfuckers and theirs no escaping it. Fuck you man kind.... fuck you.
On 10/28/2017 at 8:58 PM, fatalbert911 said:Perhaps you know what im talking about, preferring to stay home every weekend and only going out to do the absolute necessary errands such as getting gas or buying food and even for those things you specifically wait until the times you know will have the least amount of people.
This was exactly my life in 2004/05 - tough times. If I needed to go and buy new clothes or just simply get some fresh air I would drive around 50 miles to a different city just to make sure I didn't see anyone I knew. Even then it could be a rather upsetting experience, I remember being in a clothes shop and when I looked in the mirror in the changing rooms I almost burst into tears at the state of my face.
45 minutes ago, ben100604 said:This was exactly my life in 2004/05 - tough times. If I needed to go and buy new clothes or just simply get some fresh air I would drive around 50 miles to a different city just to make sure I didn't see anyone I knew. Even then it could be a rather upsetting experience, I remember being in a clothes shop and when I looked in the mirror in the changing rooms I almost burst into tears at the state of my face.
This is why I hate going to buy new clothes, the bright lighting in the change reveals everything lol
On 11/3/2017 at 2:13 PM, nikkigirl said:Move in with me!
Haha, that's sweet thanks.
On 11/5/2017 at 8:37 AM, eternalrocket said:On 11/5/2017 at 7:51 AM, ben100604 said:This was exactly my life in 2004/05 - tough times. If I needed to go and buy new clothes or just simply get some fresh air I would drive around 50 miles to a different city just to make sure I didn't see anyone I knew. Even then it could be a rather upsetting experience, I remember being in a clothes shop and when I looked in the mirror in the changing rooms I almost burst into tears at the state of my face.This is why I hate going to buy new clothes, the bright lighting in the change reveals everything lol
Yeah guys I hear you, it's just that after so many negative experiences all due to the same thing (my acne scars). It doesn't take a genius to figure out that things aren't likely to change the next time you go out in public, so naturally I've become very much a loner and a recluse. Similar to Japan's otaku men, who besides going to work spends most of my free time doing solitary activities such as playing video games or watching Netflix/youtube and of course participating in internet forums such as this one.
Look i have had years of experience......if accutane and all other stuff fails for a guy then you might want to go on Spironlatone.....you have to know the pro's and con's of this drug first because it is a anti-androgen. Maybe the doc can prescribe it like 5 months at a time to reduce side effects.
first verse pretty much sums up some days... But yeah most of humanity is shit, most. The rest is what makes it worth while. Things could get better. But after a while if and when they do, there's no going back, no forgetting the wonderful perspective of society shown in a time of struggle. Cruelness by some, apathy by the masses, and empathy by few. Stay tough it's worth it
On 11/23/2017 at 7:08 PM, JohnRottenSkin said:On 11/23/2017 at 6:44 PM, mylifeisacne said:Money and looks are all that matters. Even with money, you can't buy looks.
If you don't have either its better to just end it than suffer and watch normies live good fulfilling lives.
hope that you are too young. most important thing is your craft, love and family. Not money and looks you fool
I'm 26.
Old enough to know that money, and physical attraction is the only thing that matters in today's society. There's no arguing this, sorry.
Old enough to know people who say things like "Hobbies, love and family are more important than money!" just don't have any money and are making themselves feel better.
On 10/29/2017 at 1:28 AM, fatalbert911 said:Perhaps you know what im talking about, preferring to stay home every weekend and only going out to do the absolute necessary errands such as getting gas or buying food and even for those things you specifically wait until the times you know will have the least amount of people. All in an effort to avoid as many humans as possible, "why?" someone without acne/scars might wonder.
simple really... over the years of dealing with my bad skin. One has to eventually realize that this will never end, not because of lack of me wanting it to. But because my scars will never go away and being that im only human. I can only handle so much negative reinforcement brought down upon me for no other reason, than for my appearance alone. As if i chose to be this way, as if its my fault for being different from everyone else.
Just about everyday i walk out the front door, i get to experience the worst of humanity. The name calling, the stares, the laughter and smirks, being labeled a freak, wierdo, monster. An ugly atrocity not worthy of living on this planet along side other human beings, at least it sure feels that way doesn't it? How can someone fight something that is so fundamentally apart of them, indeed in your very dna? Medical science has not yet been able to present a definitive answer to a problem that in todays world has the potential to ruin someones life. By Stoping them from wanting to achieve, to pursue their ambitions and instead settle for the bare minimum when even that seems to be too much to ask for in accordance to the general public of our egomaniacal and narcissistic drivin society and if you somehow manage to find the will power to go on through the day to day grind. Your rewarded by watch your peers go on to live a much more enriched and fulfilling life from your own, where they get praised for simply being them. The same we we get ridiculed for just being us.
Its not fair i tell you, by all accounts you can consider me a "nice guy" hell maybe even a push over. The only time i ever really get worked up is when I'm trying hard on some video game, but other then that im about as laid back as one could be and yet every time i expose myself to others they feel the need to make me feel worse about myself for no reason at all. I've always asked myself why, why cant people just leave me the fuck alone. I don't care about them and they don't care about me, but yet people just seem to have absolutely no consideration over a stangers emotional well-being. It's remarkable how long I've managed to survive going on like this. Its been 12 years now since i first devolped this socially crippling disease, thats half of my life now and As well all know the world doesn't wait for you, so it feels as though I've been robed from experiencing a normal adolescent upbringing. Resulting in me become a very isolating and antisocial adult with very prominent social anxiety issues.
I just don't see the point in trying to get to know new people anymore, it's not as if I'll ever meet anyone as extraordinary as myself and yes i do consider myself an anomaly within my own society. A glitch in the system if you will, forever an outsider and never really being "one of them".
How does one come back from such a series of traumatizing events? Years and years of continual verbal onslaught meant to slowly break you down bit by bit, until one day you realize the person you once were has long disappeared.
I see no point to all the humilation and degradation I've had to endure from the hands of others and indeed find myself these days filled with nothing but hatred and contempt for my fellow man and everything we as a species stand for. For what is a man other then a slave to his or her own primitive desires, an animal pretending to be something he's not. Acting as though we live in a time of great achievements, when everyday i see and experience first hand evidence to the contrary.
So with all that being said, i have but one last thing to add to this little message to humanity of mine. "Your time will come" for no matter if your rich or poor, stupid or bright, young or old... death comes for us all and i personally won't be losing any sleep over any of these pathetic mortals once its time for them to take the traditional dirt nap. So rest assured, no matter how much you try to bring me down. In the end, I'll win.. because im on deaths corner motherfuckers and theirs no escaping it. Fuck you man kind.... fuck you.
Well said.
Personally i have reached such a point in my life where i am even afraid to venture out in natural sunlight. What more worse can happen to a person.
I have no motivation to do anything and want to meet no one. Its only my mom and dad i am comfortable living with. And after 2 weeks i have to go to my university living in hostel, fuck my life !!!!
Just cancelled a trip with my friends.
I am just worthlessly living my life hiding from others, crying and living like a dummy just breathing and eating.
Only thing i enjoy is sleeping because at that time i dont have to think about my face. I dont know how long i have to endure this disgusting disease.