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Hi everyone.. just looking for some advice. PLEASE READ 

I'm 18 years old and have been dealing with acne for a few years now. I just graduated high school this past June. My junior year (feb 2016-sept. 2016) I decided to take accutane- my acne started of comadonal, just little bumps under the skin and it progressively got worse.. then bumps got more noticeable and I started getting regular pimples, it was like I always had at least one pimple on my face. When I took accutane my face completely broke out for a few months.. so much worse the previously and then went back to normal but never completely cleared up. ( we think the drug didn't work because my vegetarian diet and I lacked taking it with food).

It wasn't until my senior year.. once I was off the drug for a bit... that was when my skin became its best. From November 16' - may 17' I was so happy..  still got break outs but I could deal with them. After may my skin started breaking out but it was more regular pimples around the lower half of my face. It was different than before. However I dealt with  it and tried to wait out the storm because I couldn't really accept the fact that my acne was coming back... the end of July I had a massive break out, literally woke up one morning and bam... my heart broke, at that moment all I could thinK out was how I am supposed to go to school in month and my face is a wreck. :(

 I immediately stopped going out, and called for a facial to try clear it up... of course that didn't help. I hadn't gone out in a month ( besides doctor appt and facials) and the thought of going to college and trying to start new in that state of mind made me sick to my stomachs... I decided to differ my admission to January. I ended up started accutane august 28th (absorbica.... which supposed to absorb into the body A LOT than other versions), also changed my bc to ocella(YAZ) which should help but I am just feeling so down. I am also slowly going vegan (it's been a week so far). Right before I started breaking out again  felt like life was perfect.. hadn't been that happy in a long time and now 360 turn around life can't get worse. I'm normally a popular, confident.. attractive female his active on social media- I've deactivated my instagram and don't post anything anymore.. I still find myself going online to see my friends having the time of their lives... where I should be, its like I'm torturing myself. This has just brought me down so much I cry when I look the mirror, I have probably left the house no more than 10 times in the past 2 months no exaggeration . I just need advice to get through this... some uplifting words of encouragement.
Thank you xoxo
  Edited by Trm12678

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Hi, I definitely can relate. For some reason, unsure why, my hormones decided to chuck a sad last year towards the end of my uni semester (near exams!) and my face broke out like CRAZY in cysts, whiteheads and a lot of inflammation. I changed my birth control from levlen to diane (cyproterone- a potent anti-androgen), started tretinoin cream, began washing my face and all the works (which i'd never previously bothered with). Nothing worked for about eight months. Important to note that my mental health kinda deteriorated when i started breaking out, to the point at which I'd have anxiety attacks about having to leave the house, stopped seeing friends, had to defer uni because I didn't want to be seen in public, and put my life in serious danger multiple times. I study medicine which is my dream, but I became so anxious and afraid that patients/teachers would think I looked too unhealthy to be a doctor they could trust that I basically gave up.
Long story short i ended up seeing an awesome psychiatrist who finally found a good combo of medication and also natural (Ayurvedic/traditional chinese medicine based) supplements which has turned my mental health around and lo and behold my skin has gone back to being glowy! it really was a learning curve; I guess a positive that came out of it was that I REALLY learnt how to look after my skin properly. It's crazy how much hormones can impact your mood, and in turn your mood impact your skin!! It's like a vicious cycle; break down, feel terrible and get anxious, elevated levels of adrenaline etc change your sebum constitution which leads to MORE breakouts and MORE anxiety...
Do NOT give up hope. I hadn't realised how terrible my mental health had been until it started to improve and I literally became able to deal with every situation life threw at me. My advice would be to find a real good derm and also possibly a counsellor/psychiatrist if you think you may need one; they can work miracles- personally, my psychiatrist legit saved my life (and my skin also!), to me that stuff is worth her weight in gold and diamonds. obviously the right treatment will be tailored for what YOU need though- whether you find it yourself or seek help! you'll gain that confidence back, even if it seems impossible now. If it means putting your life/future on hold for a while until you get your skin/health under control, do it! don't beat yourself up for staying inside all the time, use it for self-love and learning time. this all probably sounds super corny but seriously everything is possible, one day you'll be looking back and acne will be a distant memory and you'll have gained a load of confidence and resilience :) 

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