Hello everyone reading this,
I appreciate you taking some time to read my post.
I am sad. This may sound like me just ranting and it is true. But i am so sad and i dont really have anyone i can talk to. My skin is terrible. Just 1 month ago, i recovered from a serious outbreak of acne all over my entire face. During that period of outbreak, i felt very depressed. I avoided the friends and people that i knew because i was afraid that they will think i am ugly. Because i had to work part-time and have weekly family meetings, I could not escape as much as i wanted to.
A common greeting that i receive was, " Hey! What happened to your face!" This 5 words was and always will be the most hated words in my life. Almsot everybody i came across will ask me this question. And i couldnt answer them. I smiled, pretended that it doesnt matter to me, but inside i was very hurt. I jsut wanted to cover my face and hide somewhere FAST! Worse part is : i dont look at the mirror. I try to avoid mirrors at all cost. I fear them. I cry sometimes.
After the day, when i am finally home, i am really really happy and relieved. I had to endure so much hurt the entire day, its so exhausting. People wouldnt look me in the eye because they are looking everywhere else when talking to me. I got used to it, but it still hurts
Because of my need to hide from people, i become very lonely. Loneliness. The no.1 reason for commiting suicide in the world. Of course sometimes i would feel that way, but its foolish. Rest asssured, suicide is not in my list of actions.
I went travelling recently. June to be precise. Till late july. I am from Singapore. My trip was to europe! UK, France, Italy. It was a long 43day trip but i enjoyed it. The weather was great too! My skin recovered dramatically. And when i was home, i felt GREAT! i looked great! My complexion was good!
Then came August. My university started. I tried so hard to maintain my complexion so that i could make a fresh start in university life. MAke new friends, have fun and go out more. But deep down i knew inside my heart that " My good complexion is only temporary. Everything, the hurt, the pain, the shame will come back again. It always does".
And here i am
Writing this post. Feeling all sad. The same problem has arisen. My face was acne free for that 1 month. I never felt so confident in a long long long time. Now, its all gone. Acne is all over my face again. It hurts. My face hurts. My feelings hurt too!
I develop a fear. Fear of people. Fear of mirrors. Fear of being ugly basically. Sometimes i wished that my skin didnt even recover in the first place. Why? false hope.
I am still going to school everyday. Each morning i wake up, i tell myself. " IT is a new day. It is a good day! I can get through it!" And i march to school trying to be confident. And i get through the day feeling very weak on the inside. At the end of each day, i still feel very sad because i dont fit in anywhere.
Haiz.... I really hope. i pray actually that my skin can get better. But i want to give up. Help!
I know how u feel 
I've been feeling the same way recently. Everything was going great, and then I get an unexpected breakout. What were u doing to ur face while it was in good condition? If u changed anything try to get back to how u were doing things then. I think what might be responsible for the breakout I had was some tea I started drinking. Ironically everything started happening a few days after drinking it. I've stopped drinking it now, it's been almost a week since I had it. The small pustules I got from my breakout are now just red marks that need to flatten n lighten up. Luckily they're not bad n I know how to clear them up, but I also got a random cyst last night that makes my face sore just feels like one thing after the other, but I'm hoping it shrinks away.
But it will get better once you get things back to normal. I remind myself about the success I was able to accomplish with my skin and how clarity IS possible. And maybe ur skin improved a lot becuz u were at peace while on vacation. Happiness is always good for skin.
You know, I think we all get down like this sometimes. That expression "put your best fave forward" can be unbearable. I very much hope that you find a way for your skin to improve, but until then, know you're not alone in what you're feeling. Most of us have felt soul crushing saddness after being reminded of the condition of our skin.
I know how you feel when others notice and comment on your complexion also. I work with children who are too young to know what acne is. They do however know what Chicken pox is. So, when the children I work with see my face they often point it out and either say I have chicken pox or ask why I have chicken pox, and wonder if they will catch it. That's definitely an awkward situation to be in. One little girl even asked "What happened to your face? Were you in a car accident?" She assumed because a relative of hers had been in a car accident and tore up their face pretty badly.
It is hurtful. And while I know the kids just don't know any better, adults should.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that everyone is self conscious about something. It could be their skin, their weight, the way a certain body part is shaped... anything. I may be looking at somebody wishing I had their flawless skin while that person looks at someone else wishing to have that person's athletic build, and that person wants a someone else's full head of hair, and that person wants another person's petite figure... it goes on and on. No matter what our appearance at the time, all that any of us can really do is be kind to one another, because we all need that. At the end of the day, that is what we can control even if we can't control our appearances. You may not know anyone in this form in person, but you're not alone.
I no how you're feeling man, I'm 27 and have suffered for 15 years. Was severe growing up then somewhat from 16 to 26 had it very mild nothing for people to stare at, loved life, amazing family, partner and friend. Recently over the last 3 months I have broken out like crazy, and has scarred my face quite bad which I no in time will fade, but I'm what you would call a hermit. I did get made redundant at work and had a wild time with smoking and drinking which I regret. Now I'm living off it because I cant bare to face people. When I first broke out I changed to a vegan diet and in that time have lost 2 stone which is the only thing I'm proud off, I can't leave to go to the shops or walk the dog during the day.
I've ignored all social gatherings because I'm continuously looking at every new spots I get everyday in the mirror and just break down. I did manage to go to see a GP twice, the first time it was supposedly folliculitis from shaving (although I cant grow a beard to save my life) The second time I was prescribed Lymecycline which was a good 4 weeks ago and I'm breaking out in places I don't normally. I have a supporting family and partner but I don't have the courage to go out during the day and show my face to society. I even tried male makeup which didn't work. I for one envy you telling yourself it's "a new day a good day" I need that kick up the ass to get my life back together and rid of this depression. One day we all will beat this, look back and say, I was so stupid getting down about my acne. Don't let yourself get in a dark place, I'm there its hard to get out off. Keep smiling, your head held high, nobody really cares what other people look like, all people have insecurities we just don't no them. Ours is just visual. No one will think any less of you for what you look like what we wear how tall or short big or small. Keep the faith brother! fighting this battle along side you.
Peace and love
It's seems like you were happier when you went away hence the lack of break outs. I always flare up when anxious.
Could your acne be stress related? Which gets worse when you worry about acne more and more?
Have you tried speaking to a doctor about how isolated acne is making you? I saw a huge reduction in acne when I was taking anxiety meds not that I think you need them just something to think about?