Hi, I'm currently having a lot of trouble with my skin and I though it could be good for my mental health to discuss of my recent struggles with people that can actually understand what I'm going through. English isn't my mother language so forgive me if there is some mistakes in my sentence's structure  

I was on the contraceptive pill since I'm 14 years old. I began with Alesse but it wasn't strong enough  for me to make my periods regular. I switched to Yaz and  I never had any problems with it. While on Yaz, I had just the occasional zit during my period and I was keeping that under control with come clindoxyl. After high school, I barely had acne for about 4 years : I was reaaaaally blessed !  

Problems started last year : I was going on a trip and I decided to skip one or two pill per pack for about two month in order to have my period just before and just after my trip. Then, I began to have deep pimples that would leave a huge mark and take forever to heal. Seriously, I had those marks for about a year. But it wasn't too bad at all !! I had like two or three of those pimple per month for about 4 months, but it was really pissing my off because I didn't know where those pimple were coming from and I was left with those huge marks. I'm also a little anxious person and a bit of a perfectionnist, so even if it would appear like nothing for a external point of view, it was enough for pissing me out. In september, I guess my hormones stabilized and I didn't have a pimple for about 3 months.

In January, I had a really strange migraine with ophtalmic symptomes. I was really stressed at the time : I was working really hard for my exams and I was waking up at 4 AM to go training, so I just though it was because of stress. But my parents (that are physicians) told me that it is risky to take BC pills when you experienced some migraines. It was really pissing me off because I had a migraine only once, but since it was a strange one, they convinced me to stop the Yaz.  I was really anxious about stopping the BC pill because when my sister got off of it, she had persistent acne and went to accutane to cure it. I was constantly changing my mind and I was already breaking out in some kind of deep under the skin pimple, so I decided to go see another physician to have a second opinion. She told me that she wasn't comfortable with the fact that I was taking Yaz even if I had a migraine only once. Also, she prescribed me some stievamycin (erythromycin + retin-A).

After I stopped Yaz and began to use tretinoin for my skin, my skin became incredibly oily. I stayed on retin-A for two months and I can say that while on it I didn't have one single deep pimple and that the hyperpigmentations were fading really quickly. But in those two months using it I was getting oily skin like I never had in my whole life. My pores began to be larger and I began to have blackheads wich I never had I my life. My forehead was also getting really bumpy. But the WORST was my oily skin. After washing my skin with a toner in the morning, my face began to be oily literally 20 minutes after. Retin-A was a real pain for me. I know that it could do wonders for some people, but I just wasn't reacting well to it. I began to be anxious because I was feeling like a piece of living butter continuously. In March, I had a HUGE breakout of comedonal acne on my forehead : not a single spot on my forehead that was clear. It was so frustrating because I never break out on my forehead ever !! I had just one or two pimple in my life there. I was so insecure about it ! I couldn't even put makeup to hide those pimple because it would have look even worse. 

So in April, I went back on Yaz using the quick start method : I didn't wait to have my period again before starting using it again. Also,  when I'm finished with a pack, I'm skipping the little sugar pills and begin a new pack right away so I'm never in my period. I also stopped retin-A and went back on clindoxyl. Back on Yaz, my oily skin rebalanced quickly, but my acne became worse. All the tiny bumps and blackhead formed because of Retin-A were becoming pimples. I had pimples everyday or every other day for about 8 weeks. Since I finished school at that time, I wasn't obligated to go out so I was staying home all day long. I was looking in the mirror and analysing every new little bump that was appearing everytime I went to the bathroom. It made me depressed. I was really insecure about going out and I didn't wanted to go the gym anymore. When I was trying to talk to my parents about it, they were saying that it was nothing in comparison to other's or my sister's acne and that seeing a dermatologist was a waste of time because he would have just laugh at me beeing insecure about that. I agree with the fact that my acne was not severe, it was not THAT bad, but I was still feeling like shit and it was still very frustrating for me to struggle with acne right now knowing that this situation could have been avoided if I decided not to stop the pill. I had perfect skin before all that, so to me it's not just a little acne, it's like 500% worse.

Anyways, things began to improve on week 8. I had mostly hyperpigmentations that was easily covered with concealer. But then I began to have heavy spotting for about a week and a half. During that time, I had an acne flareout. It was frustrating because I though I was done with that, but now it is going away, and I didn't have a pimple for about 3-4 days yaaayy !  Things are improving, but it was a difficult journey for me. Overall, I think I'm greatfull that I was able to live this experience, because I can now understand the mental struggle that comes with acne and how a person can feel inside when dealing with it. Sorry, I didn't realise I was writing a novel here but it made me feel better to write it all down