So for the past 5 years I have been living with severe extreme acne. It's torn my life apart, made me a shell of my former self and has made me a recluse. But what does living with extreme severe acne really feel like?
- It makes you hate yourself, the way you look, the way you feel.
- It leaves you with crippling depression, with no hope for the future.
- You feel lost, alone, empty.
- You can try every diet, regime, products there are out there - all will and have failed.
- It will not only be painful mentally, however it will physically be painful. I struggle to even sleep with it.
- It makes you not want to go to sleep at night because you're petrified about going through the next day all over again.
- You slowly starting losing friends but more importantly, you start losing your family.
- You don't leave the house, you spend all of your weekends indoors whilst everyone else lives their lives.
- You can't even go meet the person you're madly in love with because you're so ashamed and scared.
- All hopes for a future are non-existent; your life literally revolves around pain, shame, and suffering.
- You envy and despise every person you walk by in life, who you see on TV, your friends, your family who have clear skin and think they don't know just how lucky they are.
- You constantly dream about what your life would be like with clear skin. Without this pain.
- Your mind becomes a toxic pool of harmful, depressive thoughts that make you want to do things to relieve the pain but you're too scared.
I have tried so much stuff over these past few years. All have failed. I get people telling me I look incredibly ill because, well, I am ill. My face is just covered in huge cysts, bumps, redness, scars - I am barely recognisable to people I once knew well. You know the worst thing? Right now Im doing everything these so called 'experts' say to do. Have a good skincare regime, eat organic, drink my body weight and then some in water, don't drink, smoke - however every day it gets worse. The current acne I have doesn't heal either, it just stays inflamed and red.
To anyone reading this who struggled with severe acne - and im not talking about the odd spots here and there that are easy to deal with - this is for people like myself who's condition is extreme and serious; I know what you'r going through and if you ever need an outlet to let people know just how broken you are - please don't hesitate to share your feelings. People NEED to know just how crippling this skin disease is.
Man I totaly get you. My life became a mess after acne. I can say that I cured it with accutane. Of course I have ugly scars all over my body (back chest arms and som on my face). Somehow I think physical pain is no near what mental pain is in my case. I lost almost all my friends when had acne but is was my fault, I just couldn't stand them looking at my face. Well after 2 years my face got clearer.
I always though that after I cure acne, everything will be the same, but I was wrong. I became so anti-social that I forgot how to make friends, how
to flirt with girls. It's harder now that i have clear skin than before because well, then I was isolated by choice, now I want to get more friends meet girls and all that stuff everyone else is doing. It's just that I am not who I used to be. I overthink everything to much and its slowly killing me inside.
21 hours ago, trip98 said:I always though that after I cure acne, everything will be the same, but I was wrong. I became so anti-social that I forgot how to make friends
I can relate to this. It's been over ten years since I had severe acne, but I still struggle to socialise "properly". I get criticised a lot for not trying hard enough (even though I think I do try pretty hard) and it is starting to feel like I'm not really allowed to be myself. I have to play a character to get by.
22 hours ago, trip98 said:It's just that I am not who I used to be.
I think that's what I resent most about having had severe acne. I liked myself before, I don't like what the experience turned me in to. I'm don't think I even want "what everyone else is doing", i just wish that I did want what they want. I deeply despise myself for not wanting what they want, if that makes sense.
It was worse when I was in my twenties, as most of my peers seemed to be chomping at the bit to experience what life had to offer. They were genuinely excited about relationships or traveling or new jobs. I was less enthusiastic about life and I struggled to relate. Weirdly its not so bad now I'm in my thirties, as my peers seem to be as jaded as I am. I suppose most people lose that spark of wonder as they get older, I just wish I hadn't lost mine so early.
I don't necessarily have it severe, but these are my thoughts:
I HATE acne with a RAGING, VIOLENT PASSION. If there's some lame ass bacteria that secretes a toxin that disfigures your face that is some fucking BULLSHIT. Like it eats your last organic meal and then spits out acne cysts as a thank you gift. It can burn in hell for eternity and I would not give a FUCK. Fuck that shit.
I will NEVER eat a westernized diet again. I'm done with that nonsense. The food industries, the pharmaceutical companies, they can take all that cheap ass food and antibiotics and fuckin' ram it. Straight up.
I've had severe acne...for years. I have been breaking out for over 13 years now and I am 27 years old. Wow! Just thinking about how long I've had bad skin makes me feel sad. Wow. I have been breaking out since 9th grade and the severity has been high and moderate with spots of clear in there (only when I was on accutane). I have tried everything under the sun and it feels so miserable knowing that nothing works! Oh my god! Nothing freaking works! WTF is that nonsense?!!!
I know how it feels to not want to leave the house....I think the longest I have ever went without leaving the house was probably back when I was 16 when my skin was really bad, so bad that I tried to kill myself twice that year. I spent 2 months in the ICU because I destroyed my liver overdosing on a cocktail of prescription medications. They thought that I was going to die in there and TBH I was ok with that. I didn't die though and I ended up spending a long while in a behavioral clinic out in California. Thank god my father broke me out of there. When I did get out....I didn't leave the house for 8 months after that. I never even stepped foot into the front or back yard. I spent all of my time in my room with the windows blacked out in the darkness just feeling like utter shit. Feeling like a monster. A disgusting, ugly, horrendous creature that would rather be dead than live a life engrossed in sadness and despair. Eventually I got out of that pit I dug myself into but I still feel like shit on a daily basis.
Some people don't understand how painful it is to feel defeated by acne, or how hard it is to force yourself to look others in the eye when you don't want anyone looking at you. How hard it is to throw yourself out in public...into an ocean of people who mostly don't understand how disgusting and uncomfortable you feel. How painful it feels to feel uncomfortable in your own skin all the time. How you avoid mirrors at all cost because your own reflection is just a constant reminder of the continuous battle that you've fought and continue to fight and lose your dignity/sanity/hope to.
A lot of people will never understand the frustration of watching the acne eat away at your skin throughout the years day by day until there's nothing left but hyper-pigmentation and scarring. It feels like I gave up on myself and life so long ago that I just drag my feet around in the mud on a day to day basis going to work and going home...feeling lost in everything.
Believe me when I say I know what it feels like.
I used to have clear skin, mild redness and scarring here and there. But it all changed just 4 months ago. I used to think that my face is not the type to get severe cystic acne, but i was
wrong. In just 4 months, I am filled with more and more hatred. I feel the need to hide my face with a mask, with a tissue under my glasses, with anything really. I feel the need to look down when talking to someone, afraid that they will say something about my face (99% of the time, they do). Because it happened all so suddenly, my family and friends all asked the same question; "How is it that your face is now so bad?" I hated myself, the way I looked, and everyone around me for even talking about it. When everyone around me said, "Try _____", or "I think its because you ______", it kills me because they dont, and never will be able to understand what crippling effect it has on my self esteem. I was never that confident to begin with, but this just slams it underground. I feel...... Helpless. I dont like people seeing my face, not even the love of my life. Even when we're living together, I feel the need to cover up my face because I still want him to see me as the beautiful girl I once am.
I did not, but I certainly do now, understand what it feels like to be defeated by acne.
Sorry to hear ye are all going through this shite.
I could write a huge long rant (had acne since 13, now 23) but I thought I would say something positive instead.
Avoiding certain foods (sugar, gluten, dairy, most grains, fried foods) helps keep me clear of cysts. Probiotics, fermented foods, bone broth also helped me and my gut alot!
I use to break out due to high cortisol levels (used to be extremely stressed, would always break out from working out, thats no longer the case!!)
Ive been working out since January 2016, its a great way of helping you forget about your skin, your focusing on sculpting and improving something you can change!
I still deal with hideous red marks and scarring (have to use tinted moisturizer and concealer to hide them, I'm a dude!).
Everyday I a f**king battle.
Nobody understands how much severe acne can cripple your soul, how it can kill your enjoyment for life, can send you into a deep bout of depression every time you catch a glimpse of your skin.
Often less is better, in regards to cleansing etc. Dont over wash, use natural soaps if you need them.
Dont drink tap water, its poison and it messes up my skin!
I always used to use my skin as an excuse for missing everything, nights out, parties, chilling with friends, meeting girls. Now i just try not give a fuckk. You all must learn to too, its YOUR life, seriously, fucck what everyone else thinks about your skin!
I ended up just thinking about improving myself, surrounding myself with people I care about, applying for jobs, and began thinking less and less about my skin every day.
I ended up getting a decent job in a financial advisory firm, I work with incredibly nice people and lucky to have a perfect boss. None of them give a shite about my skin, only about how fun you are to have around, and how hard you work. Dont let your skin determine your livelihood!
This year i have refused to let my skin determine who I am, Im going over California for the summer, i find that the sun helps my skin, the weather here in Ireland most certainly doesn't anyways!
I think some of the main underlying causes of acne are:
- Poor gut health (caused by antibiotics,meds, improper dietary choices)
- Unhealthy Liver/colon ( look into liver/colon cleanses, everyone could benefits from these)
- Lack of certain vitamins/minerals
- Hormones
-Candida/parasites
-food allergies/intolerances
-sinus issues (this is a recent one I've been looking into, gonna see if clearing my sinuses affect my skin)
So that's a list from an acne sufferer of 10 years, which should could be causing your skin issues.
Everyone is different, the most frustrating thing is there's no one size fits all!
But keep plugging away, your skin will improve some day if you make attempts to correct it rather than sit at home and give up. Lol suppose this did turn into a long rant ! peace out, love ye all fellow sufferers
Parasites might me your enemy!
Cause they eat all the nutrients from the food you eat!:((
Here is very effective home remedy:
1 teaspoon of whole black peppercorn swallow with water and eat something right away
do 5 days and check your stool
do at noon
dont do at evening cause black pepper is brain stimulant too
please write me back if it help you:)
It's very easy to swallow blackpeppercorn if you do 5-8 at a time and drink water