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I would be Great-looking if i Never had this scarring (photos)

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If i had to take an educated guess into the facial aesthetic appeal of men in today's society - 2016 I would confidently say that I would be pleasantly good looking, even as a young teenager(14-16)  I had been asked out multiple times by girls, now that i am 20 - with my facial bone structure all developed and mature jawline and hairline in place I could literally be a model - that is, if I did not have this severe scarring. I wonder how life would be differently if I never had this sh*t. I certainly would not be on this website at 10 PM nervous as fuark for tomorrow morning as I have to go to the doctor's office (so many people, so much social contact, they're going to look @ my face.)

Anyways. This is just a vent. 

Here is a low quality photo in good lighting - imagine how bad it is with an HD photo in day-lighting.

20160829_190616.jpg

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12 minutes ago, AlexanderJ86 said:

Yes, they are going to look at your face, What do you think will happen?

>Don't think you know what vent means

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11 minutes ago, nick420 said:

>Don't think you know what vent means

I know very well what vent means. That doesn't mean I am not allowed to comment. How is your social life?

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13 minutes ago, AlexanderJ86 said:
26 minutes ago, nick420 said:

>Don't think you know what vent means

I know very well what vent means. That doesn't mean I am not allowed to comment. How is your social life?

What social life?  Non existent. 

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coming from a girl that once went out with someone with acne scarring that was very bad I can honestly say that your scars would not bother me in the slightest nor would they both most girls (apart from the very shallow up their own backside types) .But I understand that it makes you feel low. I think most of us feel that way about ourselves.

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Like you said you are pretty good looking, so what you have some scarring... The only one that is making this a big deal is you. I bet life is about more than looking good. I have been through the same thoughts before, however, I know I wasn't dealt a bad card (despite my scarring) so I try to think about the stuff I have rather than don't have... 

Trust me everyone goes through these thoughts but it might be weight, intelligence, money, class that are holding them back from being who they want to be. But, that is bullshit. You are the one that is holding yourself back. Life isn't fair, however, it can be awesome if you take what you have and do something with it.

Lots of people on here feel like they are too ugly to date, you know you're not. Yeah your a bit special with your scarring, but so what? 

That is not severe scarring, btw, anyone that told you that is a shallow moron. 

 

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27 minutes ago, AlexanderJ86 said:

Why? Have people said bad things about your acne?


1 girl said sth once in senior year which I overheard and I will never forget that. But I guess I let it get to me after a while, lost contact with all my friends, too nervous to talk to girls, resented every moment in public ruins one's social life. 
30 minutes ago, clareabella said:

coming from a girl that once went out with someone with acne scarring that was very bad I can honestly say that your scars would not bother me in the slightest nor would they both most girls (apart from the very shallow up their own backside types) .But I understand that it makes you feel low. I think most of us feel that way about ourselves.


I guess i will have to find out for myself,  in the next 6 months I will be forced to do that so I hope you are right.  Except I do live in a country where every one is superficial,  shallow and care more about how people see them than how they feel. 

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8 hours ago, il90 said:

Like you said you are pretty good looking, so what you have some scarring... The only one that is making this a big deal is you. I bet life is about more than looking good. I have been through the same thoughts before, however, I know I wasn't dealt a bad card (despite my scarring) so I try to think about the stuff I have rather than don't have... 

Trust me everyone goes through these thoughts but it might be weight, intelligence, money, class that are holding them back from being who they want to be. But, that is bullshit. You are the one that is holding yourself back. Life isn't fair, however, it can be awesome if you take what you have and do something with it.

Lots of people on here feel like they are too ugly to date, you know you're not. Yeah your a bit special with your scarring, but so what? 

That is not severe scarring, btw, anyone that told you that is a shallow moron. 

 


No I said I would be decent looking, not am. I wish I could have your rose tinted view on life and I appreciate you trying but the real world is different from the world you describe.

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It's too bad man.  You could of had it all: fame, wimminz, money, and now you're reduced to posting with the unwashed masses of loserdom.

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1 hour ago, nick420 said:

No I said I would be decent looking, not am. I wish I could have your rose tinted view on life and I appreciate you trying but the real world is different from the world you describe.

Yes, right life is all about looking perfect. God, of course it is not about me at all only what people think of me. This is such self-pitying bullshit. Grow up. Life isn't fair, but you've got everything but perfect skin and therefore you can't have a life?

Life is what you make it. It is your life. If you chose to let other people control it or influence it that is your choice but don't say that 'I live in a rose tinted view on life' because I don't let society dictate my life and because I don't think my scarring makes me ugly. You understand how weird that is? Yes lets all sit around and talk about how bad this world is and how ulgy we are because we do not look like everyone else. You know what is bad? Growing up in a war zone, seeing your hands blown off when you're 10, robbing food so you can eat, not being allowed eduction or freedom to chose a profession. 

You have situated yourself in a world where the only thing that matters are looks. This isn't true. Real relationships are not about this stuff. However, you are the only one that can get yourself out of it. Also, you are still decent looking. I'm sure you can have whoever you ant later on if you gain some confidence. 

Here is something that you should watch (both these guys have scarring but they don't care and it certainly doesn't make them ugly)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cCqqaX4CG8
36 minutes ago, azstl25 said:

It's too bad man.  You could of had it all: fame, wimminz, money, and now you're reduced to posting with the unwashed masses of loserdom.


Are you serious? I'm never sure anymore. Haha.  Edited by il90

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3 hours ago, azstl25 said:

It's too bad man.  You could of had it all: fame, wimminz, money, and now you're reduced to posting with the unwashed masses of loserdom.


Closer to the truth than you might think! 
3 hours ago, il90 said:

Yes, right life is all about looking perfect. God, of course it is not about me at all only what people think of me. This is such self-pitying bullshit. Grow up. Life isn't fair, but you've got everything but perfect skin and therefore you can't have a life?

Life is what you make it. It is your life. If you chose to let other people control it or influence it that is your choice but don't say that 'I live in a rose tinted view on life' because I don't let society dictate my life and because I don't think my scarring makes me ugly. You understand how weird that is? Yes lets all sit around and talk about how bad this world is and how ulgy we are because we do not look like everyone else. You know what is bad? Growing up in a war zone, seeing your hands blown off when you're 10, robbing food so you can eat, not being allowed eduction or freedom to chose a profession. 

You have situated yourself in a world where the only thing that matters are looks. This isn't true. Real relationships are not about this stuff. However, you are the only one that can get yourself out of it. Also, you are still decent looking. I'm sure you can have whoever you ant later on if you gain some confidence. 

Here is something that you should watch (both these guys have scarring but they don't care and it certainly doesn't make them ugly)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cCqqaX4CG8
Are you serious? I'm never sure anymore. Haha. 
Yeah you're right. sitting around pitying myself is pathetic. And no, the scarring is not the only thing in my life which makes me feel like sh*t, believe me.

But others have it worse, I can still change my future if i try my best, maybe it won't be perfect and it won't always be happy but i will make it the best I can. 

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10 hours ago, nick420 said:

Closer to the truth than you might think!  Yeah you're right. sitting around pitying myself is pathetic. And no, the scarring is not the only thing in my life which makes me feel like sh*t, believe me.

But others have it worse, I can still change my future if i try my best, maybe it won't be perfect and it won't always be happy but i will make it the best I can. 

Yeah life can really be tough sometimes, however if you don't try to make it work you are losing out. Trust me, no one cares if you are unhappy and miserable. So, be happy or at least try to find the good things in life. It is quite literally for your own sake. Every heard 'There are two types of people, those with a strong mind and those with a weak one, one will become stronger as they face adversity as the other becomes bitter' (I'm sure I'm not remembering this quote correctly but it was something like that haha). Who would you rather be though? This way of thinking has got me through some stuff since I refuse to be weak.

I have been through some really bad stuff too and some days are really quite difficult, but it is getting better (I'm 26... When I was 20 everything was amplified). It gets better. I promise.

Good luck! 

  Edited by il90

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21 hours ago, il90 said:

Yes, right life is all about looking perfect. God, of course it is not about me at all only what people think of me. This is such self-pitying bullshit. Grow up. Life isn't fair, but you've got everything but perfect skin and therefore you can't have a life?

Life is what you make it. It is your life. If you chose to let other people control it or influence it that is your choice but don't say that 'I live in a rose tinted view on life' because I don't let society dictate my life and because I don't think my scarring makes me ugly. You understand how weird that is? Yes lets all sit around and talk about how bad this world is and how ulgy we are because we do not look like everyone else. You know what is bad? Growing up in a war zone, seeing your hands blown off when you're 10, robbing food so you can eat, not being allowed eduction or freedom to chose a profession. 

You have situated yourself in a world where the only thing that matters are looks. This isn't true. Real relationships are not about this stuff. However, you are the only one that can get yourself out of it. Also, you are still decent looking. I'm sure you can have whoever you ant later on if you gain some confidence. 

Here is something that you should watch (both these guys have scarring but they don't care and it certainly doesn't make them ugly)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cCqqaX4CG8
Are you serious? I'm never sure anymore. Haha. 

I'm as serious as a heart attack.  I never joke about acne scarring.





















lololololololololololololololololololololololololoololol

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5 hours ago, azstl25 said:
On 8/30/2016 at 9:36 AM, il90 said:

Yes, right life is all about looking perfect. God, of course it is not about me at all only what people think of me. This is such self-pitying bullshit. Grow up. Life isn't fair, but you've got everything but perfect skin and therefore you can't have a life?

Life is what you make it. It is your life. If you chose to let other people control it or influence it that is your choice but don't say that 'I live in a rose tinted view on life' because I don't let society dictate my life and because I don't think my scarring makes me ugly. You understand how weird that is? Yes lets all sit around and talk about how bad this world is and how ulgy we are because we do not look like everyone else. You know what is bad? Growing up in a war zone, seeing your hands blown off when you're 10, robbing food so you can eat, not being allowed eduction or freedom to chose a profession. 

You have situated yourself in a world where the only thing that matters are looks. This isn't true. Real relationships are not about this stuff. However, you are the only one that can get yourself out of it. Also, you are still decent looking. I'm sure you can have whoever you ant later on if you gain some confidence. 

Here is something that you should watch (both these guys have scarring but they don't care and it certainly doesn't make them ugly)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cCqqaX4CG8
Are you serious? I'm never sure anymore. Haha. 

I'm as serious as a heart attack.  I never joke about acne scarring.





















lololololololololololololololololololololololololoololol

Well that is quite sad. I suppose you are just gonna hide away until you die? I suppose only perfect people get to live fun lives? Damn, you will regret not trying when it is all over. I can't believe you are going to let these ideals rob you of your life and happiness. Don't you ever think what if? What if people don't really care and it is in my head? (There are always exceptions and assholes so you can't say "that one person said this and that and therefore I am ugly") 

For everyone with the same mindset: take it slow. Go up in the morning and do some exercise (30 min jog or 15 min HIIT) start your day with some fun comedy series and a really nice breakfast. Try to slowly make changes in your life to remove all this negativity that is pulling you down (change work, friends, maybe even move to another town/country). Get a hobby (read, hiking, cooking etc). If you are still a negative mess at the end of the day do 15 min exercise (or a 20 min jog). Make some tea and watch a really good movie / hang out with friends / read a book.

Do not look in a mirror. Ignore it completely. It doesn't matter just keep moving. One day you'll look and you will see that it really doesn't matter. It is just there. It doesn't make you ugly. They are scars but that's okay. 

 

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On ‎8‎/‎31‎/‎2016 at 6:34 AM, il90 said:

Well that is quite sad. I suppose you are just gonna hide away until you die?  yep

I suppose only perfect people get to live fun lives? yep 
Damn, you will regret not trying when it is all over. I can't believe you are going to let these ideals rob you of your life and happiness. Don't you ever think what if? nope
 What if people don't really care and it is in my head? they care (There are always exceptions and assholes so you can't say "that one person said this and that and therefore I am ugly") 

For everyone with the same mindset: take it slow. Go up in the morning and do some exercise (30 min jog or 15 min HIIT) start your day with some fun comedy series and a really nice breakfast. Try to slowly make changes in your life to remove all this negativity that is pulling you down (change work, friends, maybe even move to another town/country). Get a hobby (read, hiking, cooking etc). If you are still a negative mess at the end of the day do 15 min exercise (or a 20 min jog). Make some tea and watch a really good movie / hang out with friends / read a book.

Do not look in a mirror. Ignore it completely. It doesn't matter just keep moving. One day you'll look and you will see that it really doesn't matter. It is just there. It doesn't make you ugly. They are scars but that's okay. 

When life has broken you to the point it's broken me, there's no putting humpty dumpty back together again.

 

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I noticed that most people don't really care about scars. I'm someone that has some scarring and very light PIH and I don't really mind them that much. To be honest, you kinda get used to it. I don't have trouble socializing and I'm usually a very outgoing person in general. I'd say acne has left me more vulnerable than my scars, and I would rather live with my scars than have active acne again.

Also "perfect" is subjective. I've been around so-called "perfect" people and trust me, they're not better than you. Perfect people are insecure about a lot of things as well and some even tend to lack in other aspects of life. Usually perfect/attractive people can't keep up in an interesting conversation and they're probably boring too.

Edited by psychedelicate

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8 hours ago, psychedelicate said:

Usually perfect/attractive people can't keep up in an interesting conversation and they're probably boring too.


I disagree. I've met plenty of physically attractive people who are interesting. I've met plenty of physically unattractive people who are boring. Its a false dichotomy to assume that the physically attractive are somehow deficient or undeveloped as people. I suspect this stereotype is perpetuated by film and television, where the attractive are continually depicted as being shallow or uncaring, whereas the unattractive are worldly and deep thinking.

I do sometimes (admittedly not often) feel sorry for the beautiful, who like the ugly can also be judged negatively because of their appearance. Given the choice I'd still rather be beautiful than be ugly though and I suspect that they would too.

That being said, one thing I used to find almost impossible to convey when i had acne was that I didn't want to look "perfect" (if that is even possible), or even physically attractive; I wanted to look "normal". Some people can't understand the difference.

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