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It's an everyday obsession. I torture myself by looking for bad angles of light so I can dread over the textured skin.  Whenever I am moving around during the day, sitting in class, or talking to people I always assume that the lighting is making me look really scarred up to the point that people are  thinking "ewww what happened to his face?"

Uhhhh, it's such a hard obstacle to overcome, but we all need to be more accepting of our skin, lighting, and whatever people think of  us. 

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2 minutes ago, acne scar obsession said:
It's an everyday obsession. I torture myself by looking for bad angles of light so I can dread over the textured skin.  Whenever I am moving around during the day, sitting in class, or talking to people I always assume that the lighting is making me look really scarred up to the point that people are  thinking "ewww what happened to his face?"

Uhhhh, it's such a hard obstacle to overcome, but we all need to be more accepting of our skin, lighting, and whatever people think of  us. 
I think most people know what acne scarring looks like unless they are pretty ignorant. I imagine there are plenty of those though.
I really think we worry way more about it in relation to how much others notice or care. 
For scarring, does dermabrasion dp any good?

.

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1 hour ago, acne scar obsession said:
Dang dude, I can relate so much. I really do understand your mental and skin situation because it's mine too. 

So what happened? You did Fraxel 16 years ago, were really happy with the results for a year and have been unhappy with your skin ever since?  Have you scheduled to do Fraxel repair really soon because if you wanna look better by the end of September you should get the laser done ASAP because your skin takes some time to repair post procedure. 

I really do understand how you feel but there isn't really anything I can tell you to make you feel better because I struggle just like you and can't get myself to feel comfortable with how the skin on my face looks. 

 

Yes it is a scary thing. Do you have any treatments planned?? Do you always feel that way???

No I had a treatment from dr Khan done a year ago, before it was  on and of bad for 15years the last 5 years being the worst. Anyway I am a bit better now. Some times when I go outside and come back home my skin looks healthier again like today. And the treatment from dr khan proved this is something I (we) can beat. Scars can be improved.

No I really understand it, the best thing is just living and going out, find a good treatment to make it acceptable. Other ways to make you look good.
Luckily I am in the stress zone and not the depressed zone. It is a real mental struggle though, people are strong enough to overcome these issues and still live.

 

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2 hours ago, acne scar obsession said:
It's an everyday obsession. I torture myself by looking for bad angles of light so I can dread over the textured skin.  Whenever I am moving around during the day, sitting in class, or talking to people I always assume that the lighting is making me look really scarred up to the point that people are  thinking "ewww what happened to his face?"

Uhhhh, it's such a hard obstacle to overcome, but we all need to be more accepting of our skin, lighting, and whatever people think of  us. 

Yes true, been there I used to hate that tl class lighting, If I talked with people outside I took a step back if there was shading there. Or only met up with friends outside of the daylight I was 19 when I realized I had scarring. (now 29) When I went to study I checked every window to get that reassurance I never got.
But I know I was obsessed back then, looking for flaws is no good. The best thing is checking yourself in good light and being able to accept yourself for what dwells inside, if we respect ourselves we  care less what others think. I do realize for me it is more about what I think about myself, my dignity and self respect. My freedom to express. If anyone has made prisons in the past it was me. Lucky for us treatment are getting better and already there are a lot of options.
Studying with that kind of anxiety can break you up, I hope you succeed before you get burned out or depressed. After the depressing stage I got severe anger which kept me going although I cannot recommend it. When I did quite I already felt a lot better. I had the luck of finding other ways to make money.

And negative thinking best weapon is staying positive, enjoying the good things. Believe me they are there. It is just so hard to give advise because every situation is different and there isn't always an easy answer. We have to make our bet with the good and bad cards and each hand is unique.
Being able to adapt is the best thing, also finding ways to get the stress levels down, dealing with emotions..

It took a long time to get out of that major obsession I had to quite study and work because I spiraled into depression. I used to get angry on the people dermatologist everyone who didn't understand.  I now realize that people don't understand each others suffering worldwide. Everyone just has to find there own way to deal with the setbacks might be one or a few people who can help.  

Focusing on the good things to come can also help, so many things we can do . I am planning on two journeys, one is to costa rica for a month. I am going even if I have very bad skin because I don't really care I just want to see things. haven't been away for 6 years.

Anyway I believe I can still make something out of my life if I keep developing and experiencing . Maybe one day I can look back at a worthy life besides all the setbacks.  Just staying a kind person might be the most important. one

  Edited by Keeping_up

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Currently I'm pretty unhappy and uncomfortable around people with my scarred and splotchy skin. I'm having a rough time walking to class and especially sitting in class because of my acne scars, pimples, and red marks. I'm very self conscious and concerned with what others might think of me. I dont like feeling this self conscious and anxious so I'm just venting. 

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1 hour ago, acne scar obsession said:

Currently I'm pretty unhappy and uncomfortable around people with my scarred and splotchy skin. I'm having a rough time walking to class and especially sitting in class because of my acne scars, pimples, and red marks. I'm very self conscious and concerned with what others might think of me. I dont like feeling this self conscious and anxious so I'm just venting. 

Yes it sucks we just have to hang in there.

Are you going for any treatment??

  Edited by Keeping_up

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Yeah, it sucks at times but I don't succumb to sorrow that easily anymore. I fight it, it's hard but somehow I manage to push through rough times. Being predisposed to mood swings and depression doesn't help either. I'm going hard on Laser Genesis (monthly) and if I feel like I need another invasive treatment by the end of this year (subcisision) I will do it b/c I know I can still improve my situation as I've only been treating my scars for <2 yrs and i'm at a 50% improvement (21 yrs age) The only thing that bothers me at this moment is my facial redness and red scars tbh. 

 
started gym last week :) and going to fix my teeth pretty soon with invisible braces. slowly improving myself. 

https://www.youtube.com/user/HumerusFitness

that guy once had severe acne and as a result, is plagued with scarring. but he has a nice overall tone. That tone is what I'm aiming for, atm. He is  one of the strongest and bravest men I have encountered simply for the fact that he easily embraces his skin and doesn't let it get in the way. 

One comment on his most recent video:  Brian, I'm 57 years old, and my skin was exactly the same as yours when you had full blown acne at age 15. Actually I was to embarrassed to go to school with it, that my grades were so low, I eventually quit school., and joined the Army. Stationed in Germany, I discovered sun lamp treatments and tetracycline. They worked but it was a temporary fix. It wasn't until I was in my 30's that I discovered accutane. Accutane did the trick, and after all the suffering from cystic acne, my skin was finally clear. Now I have some scarring, but you know what Brian, I'd take the scarring over the cysts any day of the week!! LOL. I have cried over this Acne i had, asking God , WHY ME? And at one point contemplated suicide, It also limited my relationships, hurt my education, killed my self esteem. I Have to give you a lot of credit, you are the bravest person I know when it come to showing off your acne and you give hope to all of those who suffer from it. I wish you were around when I had it full blown. I think my life would have been more enriched. I have a son, age 13, he is starting to develop Acne, I'm going to have him subscribe to your channel. Take care and good luck with your Derma Pen treatments.

https://www.youtube.com/user/TheQuestForFitness/videos

jon venus has severe scarring on his cheeks but has a nice overall tone. 

FUCK acne and FUCK scarring. but please don't give up the fight. 
Edited by Robertitoo

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My suffering is starting to become unbearable. I don't know what to do. I can't go on like this. Life is not meant to spend suffering endlessly. Every time I see my scarred forehead in the mirror, I want to die. I cannot show my forehead in public and this is ruining my life. I don't even have to shine a light on it for it to look bad. It looks disfiguring in even the most favorable lighting. It looks like someone took a small hatchet to my face. I can sometimes fake myself out by telling myself to be strong and think positively and that my scar can be improved. It's 2016 for Christ sake. Doctors can change a man into a woman! So surely they should be able to improve a scar! but then one glance in the mirror or a reflective surface reminds me of my current nightmare -it has been almost a year and half and some of the most aggressive treatments have yielded no improvement.

i had a dentist appointment yesterday and I had to remove my hat. This made me tense and miserable the entire time. I used to love getting my teeth cleaned but like everything else in my life this has been ruined for me too.

I fear deep down inside that I will not get any more improvement on my scar because my prognosis is very bleak. Several doctors have said that microneedling isn't aggressive enough for my scar. All the good, credible doctors refuse to do more surgery or lasers. My treatment options have been reduced to shady doctors with negative reviews or nurses/estheticians. Without hope, I have nothing. How can I continue to fight if no treatment will help me?

for those of you that have made little to no improvement on your scars, how do you keep hope alive? Do you keep consulting with new doctors? 

Edited by scarredandsad34

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8 hours ago, Keeping_up said:
Yes it sucks we just have to hang in there.

Are you going for any treatment??

 
No, Im treating my acne right now first and foremost. I forgot how terrible it was to have acne....the ''good ol days'' were when I had scarring and no pimples. Now I got a mess going on with red marks, pitted scarring, and pimples cramming up my face. 

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On ‎7‎/‎22‎/‎2016 at 3:19 PM, acne scar obsession said:
It's an everyday obsession. I torture myself by looking for bad angles of light so I can dread over the textured skin.  Whenever I am moving around during the day, sitting in class, or talking to people I always assume that the lighting is making me look really scarred up to the point that people are  thinking "ewww what happened to his face?"

Uhhhh, it's such a hard obstacle to overcome, but we all need to be more accepting of our skin, lighting, and whatever people think of  us. 


I do this too.  I will also compulsively take pictures from all angles of my face, take off my glasses so I can see my scars better and say to myself:  Yep still ugly.  This daily affirmation helps me to stay grounded and to avoid thinking self-absorbed thoughts like "I'm a normal human being, and I deserve to be loved".


 

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im at breaking point

looking back my skin wasnt even that bad but BDD perfectionist and dermotologists promised great results and now my skin is so much worse, actual pock holes and pores merged together making actual holes in my skin

im so done at this stage,, i know these are untreatable

its a moment of courage or a lifetime of suffering for me at this point

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3 hours ago, SKINSKINSKINSKINSKINSKINSKIN said:

im at breaking point

looking back my skin wasnt even that bad but BDD perfectionist and dermotologists promised great results and now my skin is so much worse, actual pock holes and pores merged together making actual holes in my skin

im so done at this stage,, i know these are untreatable

its a moment of courage or a lifetime of suffering for me at this point

How long has it been since your last treatment? 

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I went for my annual health exam yesterday and told my doctor about the extreme mental pain and suffering that I am experiencing over my facial scarring. I asked if she could recommend a trustworthy dermatologist or plastic surgeon and She was totally dismissive and told me to get on antidepressants, see a counselor, and if it really bothered me that bad "invest in some stage makeup". I responded and said I've tried all of these things and nothing worked. Then she was goes "well I can't help you here!" I even told her that some people have commented on my scar and she was like "well that was rude"

then she proceeds to tell me about how her daughter broke her arm and got a bad scar on her shoulder and won't wear sleeveless tops now. Talk about hypocritical! People will never get it until it's on their face!

i don't know how much longer I can take it. If microneedling doesn't work, I don't think I'll survive this :(

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/07/160728102212.htm

here's a doctor who sounds like he gets it.

Edited by scarredandsad34

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16 minutes ago, scarredandsad34 said:

I went for my annual health exam yesterday and told my doctor about the extreme mental pain and suffering that I am experiencing over my facial scarring. I asked if she could recommend a trustworthy dermatologist or plastic surgeon and She was totally dismissive and told me to get on antidepressants, see a counselor, and if it really bothered me that bad "invest in some stage makeup". I responded and said I've tried all of these things and nothing worked. Then she was goes "well I can't help you here!" I even told her that some people have commented on my scar and she was like "well that was rude"

then she proceeds to tell me about how her daughter broke her arm and got a bad scar on her shoulder and won't wear sleeveless tops now. Talk about hypocritical! People will never get it until it's on their face!

i don't know how much longer I can take like it. If microneedling doesn't work, I don't think I'll survive this :(

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/07/160728102212.htm

here's a doctor who sounds like he gets it.

have you asked a plastic surgeon about a skin graft? Just a thought.

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29 minutes ago, scarredandsad34 said:

I went for my annual health exam yesterday and told my doctor about the extreme mental pain and suffering that I am experiencing over my facial scarring. I asked if she could recommend a trustworthy dermatologist or plastic surgeon and She was totally dismissive and told me to get on antidepressants, see a counselor, and if it really bothered me that bad "invest in some stage makeup". I responded and said I've tried all of these things and nothing worked. Then she was goes "well I can't help you here!" I even told her that some people have commented on my scar and she was like "well that was rude"

then she proceeds to tell me about how her daughter broke her arm and got a bad scar on her shoulder and won't wear sleeveless tops now. Talk about hypocritical! People will never get it until it's on their face!

i don't know how much longer I can take like it. If microneedling doesn't work, I don't think I'll survive this :(

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/07/160728102212.htm

here's a doctor who sounds like he gets it.

OMG That is horrible what she said to you!  I guess being a doctor doesn't change the natural human inclination to blow off acne sufferers experiences. 

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18 minutes ago, snarkygirl said:
35 minutes ago, scarredandsad34 said:

I went for my annual health exam yesterday and told my doctor about the extreme mental pain and suffering that I am experiencing over my facial scarring. I asked if she could recommend a trustworthy dermatologist or plastic surgeon and She was totally dismissive and told me to get on antidepressants, see a counselor, and if it really bothered me that bad "invest in some stage makeup". I responded and said I've tried all of these things and nothing worked. Then she was goes "well I can't help you here!" I even told her that some people have commented on my scar and she was like "well that was rude"

then she proceeds to tell me about how her daughter broke her arm and got a bad scar on her shoulder and won't wear sleeveless tops now. Talk about hypocritical! People will never get it until it's on their face!

i don't know how much longer I can take like it. If microneedling doesn't work, I don't think I'll survive this :(

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/07/160728102212.htm

here's a doctor who sounds like he gets it.

have you asked a plastic surgeon about a skin graft? Just a thought.
No one has offered that as a solution and to be honest, most skin grafts I've seen look pretty obvious and deforming  Edited by scarredandsad34

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On 7/30/2016 at 4:54 PM, scarredandsad34 said:
No one has offered that as a solution and to be honest, most skin grafts I've seen look pretty obvious and deforming 
oh I see. I don't know much about it, just coming  up with random ideas.

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Im having a tough time now. I don't even know what is normal what is not anymore. My friend had made me an appointment at the doctors as she thinks i have BDD or something similar but i don't think i do. How can people not see what i am talking about? I look in the mirror from a distance and can see my skin texture is uneven. I get closer tilt my head in the right light and if i stretch my skin i can see thousands of tiny little indents, yes they are small but they are 100% there. How did they get so bad before i noticed anything? I don't have a clue what they are, all i can think of is squeezing blackheads over the years has seriously damaged my skin. I have a xouple of deeper and more noticeable scars but i can deal with them. Thousands of shallow indents everywhere i can't deal with. Add on top my horrible pasty skin tone with freckles and it just looks like compmete s**t! I don't even know how you should normally look at your skin anymore if that makes sense. I look in my phone screen at the reflection and it looks awful, i look in car windows it looks worse yet people say they don't see what the problem is? Whatever they are just being polite. I can't even be a normal girl and put make up on as the skin texture is so unevenl ooking in a mirror makes me feel phsyically sick. I don't have your typical acne scars. I have never seen someones skin texture look so weired. Photos don't show the problem like the mirrors do so i can't put one up so people can see where im coming from. I have in the past but even that didnt show the full extent of the crap i see in the mirror in face it showed barely any of my problems.  I have stopped going out, i only go to work and as i work with my mom thats faily easy but even she doesnt see the hell i am going through. Everyone thinks this smiley front i put on is me but deep down i just wish i wasnt here. Sorry for the rant, im not good t expressing my feelings to others and to be honest i dont think i have anyone to open upto anyway so i find it easier to put everything down on here where i suppose most people feel like s**t.

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13 hours ago, clareabella said:

Im having a tough time now. I don't even know what is normal what is not anymore. My friend had made me an appointment at the doctors as she thinks i have BDD or something similar but i don't think i do. How can people not see what i am talking about? I look in the mirror from a distance and can see my skin texture is uneven. I get closer tilt my head in the right light and if i stretch my skin i can see thousands of tiny little indents, yes they are small but they are 100% there. How did they get so bad before i noticed anything? I don't have a clue what they are, all i can think of is squeezing blackheads over the years has seriously damaged my skin. I have a xouple of deeper and more noticeable scars but i can deal with them. Thousands of shallow indents everywhere i can't deal with. Add on top my horrible pasty skin tone with freckles and it just looks like compmete s**t! I don't even know how you should normally look at your skin anymore if that makes sense. I look in my phone screen at the reflection and it looks awful, i look in car windows it looks worse yet people say they don't see what the problem is? Whatever they are just being polite. I can't even be a normal girl and put make up on as the skin texture is so unevenl ooking in a mirror makes me feel phsyically sick. I don't have your typical acne scars. I have never seen someones skin texture look so weired. Photos don't show the problem like the mirrors do so i can't put one up so people can see where im coming from. I have in the past but even that didnt show the full extent of the crap i see in the mirror in face it showed barely any of my problems.  I have stopped going out, i only go to work and as i work with my mom thats faily easy but even she doesnt see the hell i am going through. Everyone thinks this smiley front i put on is me but deep down i just wish i wasnt here. Sorry for the rant, im not good t expressing my feelings to others and to be honest i dont think i have anyone to open upto anyway so i find it easier to put everything down on here where i suppose most people feel like s**t.


Hello. Thanks for sharing. I try respond now and then because this forum is low on people giving any advice.

What i learned from bdd is that you dislike the way you look besides having bad skin. If you are having emotional problems since your skin flaws it is either regular emotional problems from acne or an obsession. Mostly it can help to do a two way plan.  treatment and some new way of thinking.

From what i hear from your story others don't see any skin flaws. That means your misunderstood  by lack of empathy or you really have very little skin flaws and obsessing. Or bit of both 

Anyway the thing I am trying to say is that it is all down to perceiption. Either emotional or you have an eye for details. Especially with stress over long periods of time it is easy to get obsessed. Some people are funrerable because they are too sensitive or have certain patterns  of thinking which are destructive in which cognitive therapy can help. Or meditation. 

It is something you have to figure out yourself. Are you always unhappy with the way you look. Is it normal to have a few flaws? can you see character or do you like / respect yourself. Is there a pattern of self resentment. Expectaions. Did others resent you. Etc.etc.  It is kind of hard to do and can be confussing but the truth will set you free. 

For me it always has been a two way approach both mentally and with good treatment. I have had a good month again after one with a lot of anxiety. Before that a year without the obsession. Doing alright now. Besides that i have a brother who is getting early dementia and a father who doesn't want to live anymore and they both want euthanesia. So yeah sufferring all around. The thing holding me up are the positive things like going to insonesia or staying strong. Having faith. I always try to figure things out.

The most inportant thing is to like yourself try to live some. goals in life. Stay positive. 

For some it may be very disabling and bdd can also be very disabling . Try to make something out oft the things you can and figure out what is really bothering you wether it are the flaws or something else. Maybe both.

Best is to avoid bad light if it hurts your feelings. People tend to stand far away and going to close to mirrors isnt helpfull or realistic. At least it is something i avoid. Because it only makes you more aware and then socially akward or less confident. Mostly a picture is more realistic then a mirror. Charactor strength and confidence is also the best make up. 

Take care! 
 

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Keeping_up :

Thank you for your reply and first of all sorry to hear about your Dad and Brother, that in itself must be so hard for you!

I have always had issues with the way my skin looks, growing up I hated my freckles looking back I would happily take the freckles over this mess now. I was bullied at school which lowered my self confidence dramatically but managed to pick myself up and was quiet happy for a couple of years with no issues at all. I then had my son which was a tough time as I got post natal depression and then the hatrid of my skin came along, disappeared for 10 years, yeah I though it looked rough but just got on with it. I don't know why it's suddenly become a problem again. I have moved house and the lighting here is so different from my old house so things I didn't notice there I suddenly noticed here, problem is now I notice everything and mirrors I used to look in and feel ok with seem to pick up every single tiny imperfection.

My doctors appointment is 2 weeks away and although I know I could do with some help one way or another I just feel that I am depressed because of my skin. I do believe if my skin improved by say 50 % I would be able to carry on with life just blending in.

Edited by clareabella
Posted half of my thread by accident

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Thanks we will get by.

Oke maybe some treatment can help you get by a few years again. This has worked for me.

My worries are that i'll get mental problems when i hit 40 because of aging and all the years i have lost. So i am trying to make it up by doing the things i always wanted. When i look at my mother she is so good at accepting her age and the way she looks. I guess self respect and some things in life gets more important as we grow older. She has always helped others.  You might be funerable by the way you look. This is what gets me down too so i try to look good / alright. Best thing is treatment and trying not to obsess. I would get rid of any mirror that puts back your self esteem for the moment. liking yourself and who you are is probably the best thing. Exspecially if you have been through a lot there is a lot to be proud of.  
There is nothing wrong with freckels. Only with the kids who were judging you. I was made fun of a few years and that got to me to a point that i thought i wasn't okey anymore. That is gone now still i can feel that it can be very damaging for the way we judge ourselves. Like looks is the only thing that makes us alright. We can grow a anxiety disorder because of that.  A different point is identity being able to be the person you want to be or recognising yourself. I think people should always be proud no matther how they look. As long as you stay loyal to the things you believe in. Make the right choices.... There is no harm in doing some treatment if you think it will help. Even mentally that little bit of control can feel good. Hope it works out for you. 

Edited by Keeping_up

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Aww thank you. You sound like you have had a hard time and you come across as a rather caring and respectful person and that's shown just by yoir replies so i belive that is definatley a quality that you should be proud of! 

I went for a product review yesterday at the dermatologist which did make me feel a bit better but of course the negative thoughts still creep in so perhaps i do need a little pick me up in the form of treatment for my depression?  

Hopefully we can all live life to the full one day and look back wandering what on earth we were fretting about. 

Thank you again for your replies just being able to type away to people who understand your issues helps a lot! 

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On 6-7-2016 at 0:46 AM, il90 said:

Tbh, it is shit it really is. But the only thing I can control is how I react, I chose to be a source of positivity rather than negativity because I can control that at least. It's a fucking mess. I take one day at a time. I chose to have faith that everything will turn out okay. Some days now I don't even care about them. Some days are bad but then I can just be like: oh a shit day lets go home watch a movie and and cook some great food. 

Everyones has to deal with something. You know they greatest people in the world? Those who have had to go through some serious shit but still manages to pull it together and smile. Janis Joplin had scarring. Beethoven was deaf. Stephen Hawkin has ALS. This is our test. It is a shit test life has given us. Happiness has nothing to do with scarring it has to do with your mind. You can change your mind. You can be happy. 

Chose to deal with your problems in a productive way. Understand that EVERYONE has to go through something, people out there aren't all carefree. You can't be so wrapped up in your own problems, you get consumed by them. You can't decide what happens to you you can only decide what kind of person you will be when shit happens to you. So, who are you going to be?


You are so true! Thank you for this wonderful post. I think you are amazing :)

I
 

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Hey! I have dealt with acne since I was 16 and I now have acne scars, at the age of 25. I am quickly approaching my 6th fraxel treatment approaching at the end of this month. My acne is something that has ruined my relationship with people including my family, friends and companions. I am newly single and I am an engineering major trying to get over these dreadful negative thoughts/feelings that make up my introspective perception. People say it's all in my head, yet I believe my thoughts are absolute truth because I see and feel the way MOST people judge me and go out of their way to make me feel even more disappointed.
  
By social standards I am considered a flake because I have a good jaw bone, and I believe that  that is the raw issue I face. I use my time now that I'm single to study, work, read and watch movies. I'm hoping the day will come that fraxel will improve my bad spots so that I can alas blend into society, but what if it never happens?! I mean it's been 5years of me pondering on something that once, during a certain time in life was something minute!! What other alternatives are there?! 
Thanks!

 

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