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Hi all.

I'll start off by saying that I'm a 21 year old guy who's been fighting mild/moderate acne since I was 15. Ever since I began having acne, I stayed away from dating. During this period, there were some moments where products cleared my acne and I was able to date without worrying. I've also had girlfriends who accepted my acne pretty well.

Now I'm off all of those harsh and useless (imo) products and I feel like my acne is somewhat under control with daily cleansing and moisturizing. I'm still worried about dating because I want to show myself at my best, which I'm still clearly not. Dates during the night don't stress me as much, since the lighting is in my favor. I'm actually very aware of the lighting of any room I walk into and usually stand where the light is behind me so my face is in the shadow. This is just to show how self-conscious I am. So you've probably guessed that dates in broad daylight stress me.

I'm here to ask about any experiences regarding dating and acne. Here are some questions that I have:

-Did you ever feel like the other person was staring at your acne?
-Do you have a lot of second dates?
-Did you ever feel like the other person was not interested anymore because of your acne?

If you have any other information I would be glad to hear it. Please be honest, I want to hear the bad stories too, if they exist.

Thank you!

 

Edited by Eric1305
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As a girl I think personality is way more important than appearance. And I think Guys can pull off acne as long as they are confident. And personally I'd feel even better dating a guy with acne because he could relate to my own struggles with it too. Just saying hope is not lost and there are a lot of people out there who won't judge so don't give up 

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3 hours ago, bellacat said:

As a girl I think personality is way more important than appearance. And I think Guys can pull off acne as long as they are confident. And personally I'd feel even better dating a guy with acne because he could relate to my own struggles with it too. Just saying hope is not lost and there are a lot of people out there who won't judge so don't give up 

See, that's something that I know but yet there's something about having acne that prevents me from being the confident guy I know I can be. As of now I've been waiting for my acne to disappear to then go out looking for a partner. Even while in a relationship, I still lack confidence because of acne and I'm concerned about what my partner thinks of my skin.

anyways thank you for the info, I appreciate it!
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I started going on dates only in my 20s for the same reasons. I was relatively clear when I met my current partner because of Dan's regimen, but had horrific hyperpigmentation. Surprisingly, it didn't seem to bother my s/o. In fact, he was very happy when I would let him pop my pimples. Weird, I know.
Anyway, I believe we have distorted views of ourselves and our skin. Yes, people will sometimes stare at your pimples. But you do it yourself all day every day, why should everyone else just ignore it? Just because they notice your acne, doesn't mean they no longer want to be around you.
I've also had other people be interested in me in times of bad breakouts. It's really not as much of a big deal as we think it is.
If you're looking to hook up, there is nothing wrong with choosing the right lightning and using some concealer. If you're loking for a serious relationship, you wouldn't want to be with someone that shallow anyway.
And yes, nothing beats confidence and a vibe of self-worth and self-appreciaton despite all your flaws (not vanity). We all suffer from self-doubt to one degree or another, and someone who appears comfortable in their own skin is attractive by default.
 

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1 hour ago, ArtS said:

I started going on dates only in my 20s for the same reasons. I was relatively clear when I met my current partner because of Dan's regimen, but had horrific hyperpigmentation. Surprisingly, it didn't seem to bother my s/o. In fact, he was very happy when I would let him pop my pimples. Weird, I know.
Anyway, I believe we have distorted views of ourselves and our skin. Yes, people will sometimes stare at your pimples. But you do it yourself all day every day, why should everyone else just ignore it? Just because they notice your acne, doesn't mean they no longer want to be around you.
I've also had other people be interested in me in times of bad breakouts. It's really not as much of a big deal as we think it is.
If you're looking to hook up, there is nothing wrong with choosing the right lightning and using some concealer. If you're loking for a serious relationship, you wouldn't want to be with someone that shallow anyway.
And yes, nothing beats confidence and a vibe of self-worth and self-appreciaton despite all your flaws (not vanity). We all suffer from self-doubt to one degree or another, and someone who appears comfortable in their own skin is attractive by default.
 

Wow... I really appreciate this reply. I'm glad to hear that your current partner accepts you like you are, and even pops your pimples as if they were his. My ex girlfriend use to pop the pimples on my back and loved it. I'm overly sensitive of what others think of me by nature so having acne definately doesn't help me. The day I won't care about what people think of me is the day I'll be the person I've always wanted to be. I have a friend who had horrible cystic acne in highschool but was one of the most confident and funniest guy so he had no issues with girls and dating. I should look at that and feel great about myself.

I agree with everything you said. Very kind of you to share this with me, thank you!
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As a female, I definitely find it hard to be comfortable in relationships with acne. My current boyfriend is great, and usually when I'm with him I'm having such a great time that I actually feel pretty good about myself. However, once I'm by myself, I get super harsh on myself again. I start to feel stupid for believing in the nice things he'd said, and I feel bad that he has to be seen with me. I know it's a silly way to think. He even has some very mild acne (we found out we use some of the same products, they work much better for him though), but it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I don't even notice he has it unless he brings it up, and even then, I just really couldn't care less. To me, even if he had a massive breakout, I'd still think I was the luckiest girl alive to be dating him. It's nice to hear from a guy's perspective that the insecurity can be mutual though. I know from experience that it's much easier said than done, but hopefully everyone on these forums will eventually feel confident/beautiful/handsome/amazing despite the condition of their skin. 

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On 2016-07-06 at 10:36 AM, StatelyWombat said:

As a female, I definitely find it hard to be comfortable in relationships with acne. My current boyfriend is great, and usually when I'm with him I'm having such a great time that I actually feel pretty good about myself. However, once I'm by myself, I get super harsh on myself again. I start to feel stupid for believing in the nice things he'd said, and I feel bad that he has to be seen with me. I know it's a silly way to think. He even has some very mild acne (we found out we use some of the same products, they work much better for him though), but it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I don't even notice he has it unless he brings it up, and even then, I just really couldn't care less. To me, even if he had a massive breakout, I'd still think I was the luckiest girl alive to be dating him. It's nice to hear from a guy's perspective that the insecurity can be mutual though. I know from experience that it's much easier said than done, but hopefully everyone on these forums will eventually feel confident/beautiful/handsome/amazing despite the condition of their skin. 

I too would feel great while with my partners but when I'd go out with friends or was alone I'd get self-conscious. I really understand what you mean. But you shouldn't feel stupid for the nice things he says because he's seeing past your skin and into your personality. If he likes the person you are, you will eventually become the prettiest girl to his eyes no matter what! Take it easy on yourself, at least you have someone who accepts you like you are. Most of us are still searching desperately for that person!
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I've been really self-conscious about my skin ever since I started breaking out in high school, and I had never been on any dates until college. None of my dates ended up anywhere though, and I always felt like it had something to do w/ my skin.

Met my current boyfriend about 8 months ago, and thought he'd never be interested in me cause of my skin. He proved otherwise though. I never let him see me w/o makeup during the first 4 months of our relationship. He is totally nice and supportive about it and said he doesn't care, and that I still look beautiful to him. He has mild acne too so I think that's why he can stand in my shoes.
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