Hi everyone,

I have read quite a few threads on these forums and finally decided to sign up. I know my post will mirror what hundreds of other acne.org users have wrote but I have no one else to talk to. I am an only child and when I mention my troubles to my parents, they just get mad at me (I come from an abusive home but I am now in my late 20s and no longer have to live with them... just still deal with their negativity if I speak to them). I do not have any close friends either to discuss my feelings with. I am hoping that some of you can provide your thoughts on my post.

I have suffered with acne since I was 13 and I am now 27. I was on Minocycline for a little over a decade (way too long! But the doctors kept giving it to me) . I eventually had to stop it, as I was experiencing severe head pains. This is when my acne got even worse and gradually turned into cystic acne. It became the worse it ever had last year and unfortunately, I picked it a lot. I even used that little metal tool to remove the puss. Here is what I am referring to : http://www.amazon.com/Premium-Blackhead-Whitehead-Extractor-Remover/dp/B00OZZ2DXS

Of course... this has led to severe scaring. Deep indents, lines all down my face (they look like wrinkles). It's incredibly embarrassing. I have tried everything, I went to a naturopath and changed my diet. I have spent hours researching natural products to clean my face with.I have spent thousands of dollars on natural makeup, cleaning products, organic foods, supplements... you name it. I change my pillow cases every other day and flip the pillow on the 2nd day. I was using creams from the dermatologist but I am allergic to benzaclin and my eyes are still swollen, as I will still use it once and a while since it's the only thing that somewhat works. The list goes on and on and I won't bore you with those details.

I still have acne but it has improved from last year. I get these painful nodules and I try really hard not to pick but I usually eventually do. It's ruining my life. I haven't dated in 2 years. I am so lonely and rarely go out to see friends. I do work full time and manage to make it into my job. On weekends... I usually stay in and hide away. I'm sick of living like this. If I do have to go out somewhere, then I have to take the time to put on my makeup. When people speak to me, they can't help but look at my scars and active lumps. I cry so much and loose sleep over this issue. It's awful. Being a woman makes it even harder, as I know most men are not interested in dating a girl with scars all over her face! I was told by dermatologists that scars are permanent and nothing can really take it away. I have had 4 different doctors tell me this.

I guess... I am wondering if anyone else feels like I do.

Thank you kindly for your time.