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SEVERE DEPRESSION! Starting accutane soon (pictures)

MemberMember
1
(@honeylove143)

Posted : 05/22/2016 7:51 pm

you guys I am coming down with a severe depression. I have become a hermit. I make plans but I ultimately cancel them because I am so ashamed of my skin. I started breaking out at freaking 23 or 24 after a multivitamin that i took, and since then it has gotten worse. I finally went to a derm and begged for accutane as i already tried antibiotics, prescription creams etc. and I have to get blood work done and then hopefully i will have the pills in two weeks. I decided to start a log on my accutane journey because I feel my journey might be able to help someone else.

I am so ready to put an end to this madness. I am tired of looking at the floor a lot because i feel like a non human diseased leopard. I am tired of canceling plans, avoiding eye contact, avoiding dates, avoiding life. Acne has consumed pretty much my entire life even my son tells me to cheer up. It's crazy because when I talk to people (eventually I have to socialize/work) I literally stare at their flawless skin while they talk. My face hurts when I wash it, or sleep. Its getting on my neck and back. I feel like someone put a hex on me or something because this is debilitating. Well I feel like accutane is my last hope because I avoided taking this drug for many years but at this point I have grown desperate. I hope this works. I have uploaded pictures of this mess.

 

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MemberMember
19
(@sendmeangels)

Posted : 05/22/2016 10:36 pm

I'm not sure how helpful this is to you, but I'm very depressed myself, so you aren't alone in it. I've been on Accutane for 2.5 months and so far, no improvement at all. My skin looks terrible, I avoid going out when I can, and I burst into tears at the drop of a hat. And like you, my skin hurts and everything else. I work with young children who innocently comment on it, and it tears me down. I have moments where I wish I had never been born, because I feel like I have tried everything and nothing is working. And I can't imagine living this way forever.

So you aren't alone in this. I'm suffering right along with you. Please reach out if you ever need to.

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MemberMember
1
(@honeylove143)

Posted : 05/23/2016 10:45 am

Hey Sendmeangels I have a question, what MG amount are you on? because by 2.5 months I am hoping to see some type of improvement. I hear that everyone progresses at a different rate. I read on one site that it took the girl 4 months. I have uploaded a picture of me with makeup and u can see my attempt failing horribly. It's a nightmare. 

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9
(@bunnybunny)

Posted : 05/23/2016 11:29 am

Hang in there. The fact that you are seeing a dermatologist is such a huge step in the right direction. I just keep telling myself that although it is embarrassing and physically + emotionally painful today, it won't be like this forever. We have to believe it will get better - and at least for me having professional help makes it easier to think that way. For now I am also trying to focus on other aspects of who I am because thinking about my appearance is too depressing. & for what it's worth, your pictures are beautiful even with acne. I wish you the best with Accutane, keep us posted.

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MemberMember
79
(@chicanery)

Posted : 05/25/2016 8:54 am

Hey, the fact that you're going on accutane is great, it WILL 100% work. Just make sure you take it with fat every single time -make sure to eat an avocado or something with it, you wouldn't want to risk it not working due to that aspect.  Try and forget you're on accutane when you start it. Avoid reading anything online. This way, you'll avoid being disappointed if progress is slow, and you'll stop looking out for side effects.  

Honestly, this is actually making me tear up as I write it because I can't believe how far I've come, but there will be a day when you actually  can't remember what it's like to have ONE cystic spot on your face. ONE. The truth is, my accutane journey was bumpy up to month 4 (I know you don't want to hear that lol), but once I hit month 4-5 (on 40mg), I just sailed into having flawless skin and because my skin had been improving, albeit slowly, I didn't even notice. Now my skin is totally clear.. There will be a day when you cannot remember what it is like to have to wear makeup or to be worried about friends standing too close to you. That day will come for you and it's such a magical thing. 

Not to make it all about me, but I'm going to attach a pic of my skin at its worst and a pic of my skin now, month 5ish of accutane, to give you some hope. You might even hit this point earlier than me, but if you don't just know that it is coming. <3 I'm sorry, I know this is the worst thing in the world. But it's so temporary. Good luck, make a log here once you start!!

PS:I ACTUALLY did SEE A BIG IMPROVEMENT AFTER ONLY 1 MONTH!! iI just mean that my journey was bumpy up to month 4 because I still had acne and breakouts. However, I had no initial breakout, which I feared, and after my acne improved initially, it never went back to full-on cystic acne. Just moderate annoying acne that could be covered decently with makeup. It's unlikely that you'll see no progress after 2.5 months. :)

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MemberMember
1
(@honeylove143)

Posted : 05/25/2016 2:06 pm

Chicanery, you have given me soooo much hope  and I def see the beautiful clear skin in the after picture. Knowing that I am starting accutane in 2 weeks is literally what's keeping me from going into a full fledge depression because I feel that there is hope. I long for the day that I forget what it feels like to have crocodile skin. It's a nightmare. 

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