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Boyfriend commenting on my acne; is this okay?

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(@ddanielle)

Posted : 04/25/2016 1:27 am

Alright, so, I've been with my boyfriend for a short while but we were best friends for years before we started dating so he knows me really well and knows that I'm really insecure about my acne. I'm 17 and have had acne since I was around 12 but it only really started getting really bad at 14ish. At 15 I started seeing a doctor and only about a month ago have I finally been put on Accutane (Oratane) after years of trying other treatments that all only made small improvements. My acne is the lightest it has ever been right now even after just a month of accutane so I have a lot more confidence then previously so am around my boyfriend without makeup all the time.

I'm really open about what's happening with my 'accurate journey', the improvements, side effects, ect. with him however today he made a comment about a pretty bad breakout right in the middle of my face. It was a pretty mean comment, something that was very typical-high-school-bully, which isn't like him. He laughed and meant for it to be funny but he could see I was upset and made a huge deal of saying sorry. He knows I'm so insecure of my skin and that it's become a pretty big thing in my life, unfortunately, since getting Accutane was, like, my mission for years, haha.He calls me beautiful but also says he can't wait for my accutane course to he finishe and that I'll look "more beautiful" which bothers me cause I'm not entirely doing this because I want to 'look better', it's because acne is painful as hell. He feels the need to always tell me how my skin is looking and he knows I don't like it be always ends up saying this kind of thing anyway. It's his first relationship and he means absolutely no harm but he has pretty clear skin so I just wish I could make him understand. How do I explain it without making him feel as guilty as he says he does and without hurting him? He says sorry a thousand times yet does the same thing the next few days so it's clearly not getting through to him. Thanks so much, hope everyone has a great day.

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(@sohelpmegod)

Posted : 12/29/2016 7:01 am

Hey, I guess I got here a little late. But is he still behaving the same way?

First of all, it's really cool that you can openly share your feelings about your skin and acne. It must be comforting that you don't have to hide it. Most of the rest of us are always going to painstaking ends to keep our partners from seeing our acne in all its glory.

I think that because he doesn't have to deal with acne as much as you, he doesn't realize how insensitive his comments are to you. If he's still making such comments, you should sit down with him and explain how your acne is not something you chose or something that you enjoy having, it's not something you can control, so his comments do no good for your sense of self-esteem and only serve to hurt it. It's been long while since you started this topic so you've probably already worked it out. Let me know how it went.

Btw, are you done with accutane? How did it work out for you and how is your skin now? Did you have an initial breakout? (Sorry for all the questions. I just started accutane so I'm really curious about it)

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(@thebean)

Posted : 12/29/2016 8:24 am

My husband made some joking comment at some point that was on the rather 'insensitive' side. I lost my shit... He really understood afterwards that I really WAS struggling with it. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. On the outside, we can put up a very resilient front...
He hasn't made any comments since.

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