Hey everyone.. Ive been reading acne.org posts for a long time but just decided to create an account.
Where do i start?
im a 21 yrs old male, and ive been struggling with acne for almost 6 years now. I am currently on Accutane for the 3rd time. Yes, 3rd time. The first 2 times worked but the acne would come back after 5-6 months. The last time i was on Accutane was almost 2 years ago and the only period of my life in which i was feeling comfortable was after that first treatment, because my skin was clear for about 6 months with only a few pink scars that my beard would hide easily.
But recently its been a fucking mess. This past summer i travelled with a bunch of friends to spain, and had one of the worst breakouts ever which made me so frustrated with myself and really ruined my trip.
I could talk about the negative effects that acne has on social and academic life but im pretty sure you already know it.
I use foundation daily because the idea of my acne making people uncomfortable or disgusted really bothers me but only use it to diminish the redness of my pimples, making them less aggressive, cause i dont want the foundation to look obvious.
i look around me in college and the people i see with acne are literally about 5% of the population around me so i wonder why the fuck do we have to be so unlucky and miserable. Im majoring in architecture so the impression i give is actually important, as i have to present in front of fucking jurors.
I love going out during the day, but i force myself to only go out during the night to dark places such as bars and clubs so that my acne is seen less.
I have given up so many things in order to lead a healthier lifestyle, such as junk food, smoking, drinking more than 2 drinks per weekend, and i only eat healthy food. I also go to the gym about 3 times a week.
I have been to many dermatologists, but have stuck to one who has been the best until now.
I have lost track of the thousands of dollars ive spent on products and treatments.
ANYWAY... I feel really fucking tired of this issue, and i wonder if im ever gonna wake up without thinking of this, and go out with a smile and be the happy confident sociable outgoing person that i am on the inside but that i have not been able to act as, because of that issue.
I know it might sound ridiculous but sometimes i wonder if it is more than just genetics and misfortune. Am i being punished by the universe? Is this something that is supposed to teach me a lesson about unconditional self love? Do i have to accept my acne so that it disappears? Do i have to be a better person, and have clearer thoughts and intentions in order to have clear skin? Not that im a fucking devil or something, just sharing my thoughts..
i really hope this time on accutane helps me out. Im supposed to end it after the month of june, so yeah i wont be going to the beach before july... Not that i could anyways, since i have chest acne as well..
good luck to all, i really wish us to get to know this simple basic human pleasure soon, which is having clear skin.. Haha.. Is it too much to ask for? I dont think so...
On 13 March 2016 at 4:06 AM, Gss520 said:I know it might sound ridiculous but sometimes i wonder if it is more than just genetics and misfortune. Am i being punished by the universe? Is this something that is supposed to teach me a lesson about unconditional self love? Do i have to accept my acne so that it disappears? Do i have to be a better person, and have clearer thoughts and intentions in order to have clear skin? Not that im a fucking devil or something, just sharing my thoughts..
The universe is cold and indifferent. It doesn't want to punish or reward you, we are all just victims of circumstance. If your condition teaches you something about unconditional self love then great, but its not part of some divine master plan.
One of the most damaging things you can do is blame yourself for your condition. You're responsible for how you react to it, you're not responsible for it existing or how it makes you feel.
On 13/03/2016 at 4:06 AM, Gss520 said:Am i being punished by the universe? Is this something that is supposed to teach me a lesson about unconditional self love? Do i have to accept my acne so that it disappears? Do i have to be a better person, and have clearer thoughts and intentions in order to have clear skin?
Noooooooooooooooo!!!
13 hours ago, jwalk said:The universe is cold and indifferent. It doesn't want to punish or reward you, we are all just victims of circumstance. If your condition teaches you something about unconditional self love then great, but its not part of some divine master plan.
One of the most damaging things you can do is blame yourself for your condition. You're responsible for how you react to it, you're not responsible for it existing or how it makes you feel.
Yesssssssssssssssssss!!!
This is so accurate to how I feel...
My only wish in the world is clear skin... that's all. I don't need money. I don't need the best job ever. I just want clear skin so I can be happy. Occasionally I get "clearer" skin and feel like progress will be made, but I still live in the fear that it will come back.. and guess what? It does...
I, too, feel like I'm being punished. I feel like I must have done something horrible to have been punished like this. It's ruined my life... I live in constant depression, am constantly in a state of anxiety and can't see any kind of future. I am a guy who wears makeup as well... but it doesn't make me feel better.. knowing that I have to 'hide' my face behind it when no other guys have too just kills me.
Regardless... well done on carrying on with yourhealthy lifestyle, especially the gym. I used to go regularly but have just lost all motivation.. I just feel too tired to go now. Fingers crossed this course will clear you... and if not have you ever considered a long term low dosage? I've heard that they're quite successful (20mg a week or so) for maintenance.
Sending you my love.
I share the same feelings as you do dear..
But at the same time, I have also understood that only acne sufferers can relate to such feelings.
Acne changes your life dramatically and forces you to become a person you never intended to be in the first place.
But hey, remember you are on accutane and it is going to kill those nasty sebaceous glands shortly so you would be able to enjoy clear skin and live your life at 100%. Keep going. Good days are on their way.