I wish i was born in a different body. I hate everything that is happening to me right now. This is probably the worst i ever felt in my entire life. I'm having weird thoughts (this is not a suicide thread) and it's all to much. I spent years dealing with my acne and i developed a very severe ocd/ body dismorphya. I'm telling you, life is not worth living if you can't see yourself in the mirror, if you hate who you are, if you hate how you make your family feel, if you hate waking up, if you only feel comfortable in the dark. I want to sleep for years and wake up when my skin is looking somewhat "normal". Everything is falling apart, i can't go to college, i broke up with the guy i was dating, my mom is extremely depressed ( in part because she think she failed as a mom since i can't be a normal person) and i feel sorry for my dad and my little brother for having to live with this everyday. These last years have been a total failure. I have a therapist and i see my psychyatrist every 3 weeks. I want to change so bad but is IMPOSSIBLE. I really can't do this, it's all a mess, a disaster. I'm gonna have to live with this for the rest of my life. I would never commit suicide (even though i tried in the past) ONLY because of my family. So i just want this life to be quick, cause even thought i'm trying to be strong i really can't see things getting better. I'm sorry if i mispelled any word but right now i couldn't care less, my hands are shaking and i think i already made my point.
On 2/27/2016 at 3:39 PM, jasminevt said:I wish i was born in a different body. I hate everything that is happening to me right now. This is probably the worst i ever felt in my entire life. I'm having weird thoughts (this is not a suicide thread) and it's all to much. I spent years dealing with my acne and i developed a very severe ocd/ body dismorphya. I'm telling you, life is not worth living if you can't see yourself in the mirror, if you hate who you are, if you hate how you make your family feel, if you hate waking up, if you only feel comfortable in the dark. I want to sleep for years and wake up when my skin is looking somewhat "normal". Everything is falling apart, i can't go to college, i broke up with the guy i was dating, my mom is extremely depressed ( in part because she think she failed as a mom since i can't be a normal person) and i feel sorry for my dad and my little brother for having to live with this everyday. These last years have been a total failure. I have a therapist and i see my psychyatrist every 3 weeks. I want to change so bad but is IMPOSSIBLE. I really can't do this, it's all a mess, a disaster. I'm gonna have to live with this for the rest of my life. I would never commit suicide (even though i tried in the past) ONLY because of my family. So i just want this life to be quick, cause even thought i'm trying to be strong i really can't see things getting better. I'm sorry if i mispelled any word but right now i couldn't care less, my hands are shaking and i think i already made my point.
Jasmine my friend, hang in there. I completely understand the depression over our skin and it sounds like you have alot going on personally. I LOVE that you are seeking help (I personally think all of us need a therapist)
This gets better. This is just a really bad season in your life. Please be gentle on yourself, you're doing the best you can!! You can be your best friend or your enemy and I would love it if you were your best friend whenever you look in a mirror or feel your skin. You are SO much more than your skin. You are a human being who has so much to offer. You can get past this. I believe in you.
How are you feeling today/ I hope today is a better day then Saturday!
I agree with Jensweetone. Hang in there girl, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I have been suffering from body dysmorphia disorder because of my acne since I was a teenager. I am now 33 years old and even though some days are harder then others I am living a normal life despite having BDD. Have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy? It's all mind over matter. We choose how we react to a situation. Acne doesn't define you, it's just a part of your life right now. Focus on other things besides your acne. What do you like about yourself? What are your talents? What do you enjoy doing? Don't let acne control your life. You are in control of your life. Have you ever tried making an affirmation? Whenever I am down about my acne I think about all the positive things in my life. When I was at my lowest point I quit going to school and work. I was so depressed that my dad had to quit his job to care for me because I literally stopped eating, showering or living. I would sleep 15 hours a day and when I was awake I would lay in bed. What really helped me was to start living again. My dad had to force me to do things like house work, run errands, go to the park etc. He took out all of the mirrors in the house which made it impossible for me to focus on my acne. Out of sight, out of mind. It slowly started to work for me. When I stopped focusing on my skin so much is when I noticed my skin was the clearest. Stress and anxiety equal more acne. My best advice I can give you is to do your skin care routine and move on. Get out of the mirror. Stay busy. Surround yourself with friends and family. Don't stop living, don't let acne control you or define you! Why did you break up with your boyfriend? I hope it wasn't because you have acne. You say you want to change, what is it that you want to change? You only need to change your perspective on your acne. It can be done. I've done it. I am happy. I am thriving. It starts with you. You're in control of your happiness. Even if you have to pretend to be happy at first, eventually you'll just learn to be happy and acne won't be a reason for you to be unhappy. There is so much to live for. Go out there and appreciate life for all that it is.