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clive17

Stop looking for a cure (advice from a veteran)

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First post. I signed up because I hadn't read these forums in a minute. I used to post here back when this forum first started, its too bad I couldn't remember my username. Before that there was some other big acne forum, don't remember the name, this was back when having internet was a luxury, it was becoming widespread but still a pain to use and nobody was glued to a screen all day.

Anyway, I'm in my mid 30's now and I've had severe breakouts since around 10. Face, scalp, back, chest, legs. You name it. Been through the drinking apple cider vinegar and the old urine therapy that took off for a while, been on several high dose accutane cycles that left me with severe... severe, permanent issues. And at the end of the day, 20 years later, I'm still right back here where I started.

I just want to share my perspective with those of you that have been here for one year, or 3, or 5, or even 10. This is NOT to say we should ever stop searching for a cure, but we also need to learn coping mechanisms for accepting ourselves as is in the meanwhile to heal/prevent a lot of the psychological damage because let me tell you something, from someone who is in this two decades deep.... even if my skin magically turned perfect right now, I am so psychologically screwed up at this point that it would take a LOT of effort to return to normal.

I was surprised that I logged on here for the first time in years and what I read literally mirrored the exact same stuff I used to read 20 years ago. Everyone finding a cure, yet everyone still here complaining about their acne. "i found the cure! Take a ground up rabbits paw, sprinkle it with garlic, boil it in a pan and let the steam gently absorb into your face"..... then you get about 100 people trying it. A month later, those people are all still here complaining about their acne. That cycle just repeats over and over. A new cure. Hype. Jump on the bandwagon. Months later it is all forgotten and back to square one.

I hate that this sounds harsh but it just kills me to see you guys spinning your wheels the same way I did for years, for decades. I've been doing it right along with you, and I've watched so many others also chasing their tail and getting nowhere, month after month, year after year. 

Open your eyes. Do your research, try new truly innovative things, but don't dwell on stuff that "well i think it kind of works"..... it doesn't. Spend that time filling your life with GOOD, kind-hearted, genuine people. The most relief I've had has never been from a medication or some potion, it's been the times I've made friends that are just genuine, down to earth kids that don't judge, people that see whats on the inside, people that I can just be around and not have to worry. I've got severe acne, this other person is obese, one person is extremely shy, someone else is missing an arm..... doesn't matter, when you are around truly good people, none of that matters, no person worth a damn is going to care about your skin or your weight or whatever your particular self-conscious triggers are. These people are few and far between, but if you can have at least a few of them in your life to counteract all the superficial, negative BS we see on a daily basis it is still a big help. Think about it..... I don't know how many of you are familiar with Mr. Rogers. He was one of the most kind-hearted individuals in U.S. media ever.... if you know of him, imagine if everyone on earth had his "i love you just the way you are" mentality..... if that were the case, you wouldn't feel nearly as stressed about your perceived flaws, because you would constantly be surrounded with people re-assuring you that you are valuable just because you are a human being, that you are important and that you are loved. Again, very few people like that in the world, but there are a few, and the more you bring in your life the better you will be.

Look I've written enough and rambled, i'm tired. I'm not saying these people are easy to find, I'm not saying you still won't have to deal with 95% of superficial society.... all I'm saying is through your journey, place an equal amount of emphasis on mental health and surround yourself with people that lift you up as much as you can, that support system is so important. Sorry if anything sounded harsh, it's just that Ive been watching some of you for at least a decade, some longer if you posted on other forums way back when..... and to see a lot of the same faces still grasping the same straws breaks my heart. I'm in the same boat as you guys, at this point in my life, I don't see a cure.... if there was, my body is still far too scarred up.... I have no choice but to slowly start to accept myself, even love myself as I am..... I'm sure I'll fail a bunch of times, hell, i have a bad breakout right now and it's funny..... 20 years ago I was a kid, sitting in my moms car, crying because i had to go to school with cysts all over my face...... 20 years later, i'm just a bigger kid, sitting in my own place, crying because I have to go to work tomorrow..... it all just repeats. But, there's at least some hope in healing your inner-self..... the true road to recovery lies in the mental, not the physical.

 

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Thanks for the kind words.

Sometimes its best to stay put or go mild as possible.

 

It really is hard. I went through a second course of accutane and it has ruined my skin. I am a guy and i cry right now. I just want my skin back. I am still in shock about what happened.

I never really intended to take accutane as my acne was mild. But circumstances meant it was better than anti biotics given another medical problem i had. I was given a lose dosage at first which was good. But one month later it was upped 3x the maount to 60mg. I made a huge huge mistake just taking it. Half way point was ok. I believe in the summer in the second half of the ocurse the spf cream i used (mineral) was difficult to remove. Washing it off probably dd slow damage and to top it off i took an extra month which i dragged on (i took it in a low dose slowly at 40 then 20). Making the whole thing about 7 months. I only saw the dermatologist once and the nurse the rest... The nurse did not care about anything.

No I have a bad un-natural skin texture with hundreds of small marks. I really dont know what to do. I am seeing my dermatologist countless times and am going for another opinion/s. Its hard to accept that my skin went so bad in just afew months.

Edited by Worriedscared1

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This was interesting to read. The problem is to accept it. This is something really hard. I myself cant. Even if I know this obsession of searching for a cure is not the complete answer. I care to much of my skin problems.

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unfortunately accutane is the only thing we have today that can be a acne solution but the possible longterm side effects sometimes arent worth it since your acne can comeback and you will need another course with new side effects.
There is no cure for acne in the horizon and i do think maybe acne scars in some point will have a cure but acne itself wont because its a hormonal thing and our science is very far to manage something like acne through our hormones safely. Actually we should have to thank the fact that we atleast have accutane to fight acne. Without isotretinoin alot of people would be rly FUCKED right now thats includes me
i made 2x accutane courses got bad sides effects in both including long term side effects but i dont regret a bit, acne destroyed part of my life and accutane saved the rest of it.

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3 hours ago, clive17 said:

from someone who is in this two decades deep.... even if my skin magically turned perfect right now, I am so psychologically screwed up at this point that it would take a LOT of effort to return to normal.

 

Absolutely truth !!

Edited by pursuit of happyness

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On 21/11/2015, 16:46:50, clive17 said:

First post. I signed up because I hadn't read these forums in a minute. I used to post here back when this forum first started, its too bad I couldn't remember my username. Before that there was some other big acne forum, don't remember the name, this was back when having internet was a luxury, it was becoming widespread but still a pain to use and nobody was glued to a screen all day.

Anyway, I'm in my mid 30's now and I've had severe breakouts since around 10. Face, scalp, back, chest, legs. You name it. Been through the drinking apple cider vinegar and the old urine therapy that took off for a while, been on several high dose accutane cycles that left me with severe... severe, permanent issues. And at the end of the day, 20 years later, I'm still right back here where I started.

I just want to share my perspective with those of you that have been here for one year, or 3, or 5, or even 10. This is NOT to say we should ever stop searching for a cure, but we also need to learn coping mechanisms for accepting ourselves as is in the meanwhile to heal/prevent a lot of the psychological damage because let me tell you something, from someone who is in this two decades deep.... even if my skin magically turned perfect right now, I am so psychologically screwed up at this point that it would take a LOT of effort to return to normal.

I was surprised that I logged on here for the first time in years and what I read literally mirrored the exact same stuff I used to read 20 years ago. Everyone finding a cure, yet everyone still here complaining about their acne. "i found the cure! Take a ground up rabbits paw, sprinkle it with garlic, boil it in a pan and let the steam gently absorb into your face"..... then you get about 100 people trying it. A month later, those people are all still here complaining about their acne. That cycle just repeats over and over. A new cure. Hype. Jump on the bandwagon. Months later it is all forgotten and back to square one.

I hate that this sounds harsh but it just kills me to see you guys spinning your wheels the same way I did for years, for decades. I've been doing it right along with you, and I've watched so many others also chasing their tail and getting nowhere, month after month, year after year. 

Open your eyes. Do your research, try new truly innovative things, but don't dwell on stuff that "well i think it kind of works"..... it doesn't. Spend that time filling your life with GOOD, kind-hearted, genuine people. The most relief I've had has never been from a medication or some potion, it's been the times I've made friends that are just genuine, down to earth kids that don't judge, people that see whats on the inside, people that I can just be around and not have to worry. I've got severe acne, this other person is obese, one person is extremely shy, someone else is missing an arm..... doesn't matter, when you are around truly good people, none of that matters, no person worth a damn is going to care about your skin or your weight or whatever your particular self-conscious triggers are. These people are few and far between, but if you can have at least a few of them in your life to counteract all the superficial, negative BS we see on a daily basis it is still a big help. Think about it..... I don't know how many of you are familiar with Mr. Rogers. He was one of the most kind-hearted individuals in U.S. media ever.... if you know of him, imagine if everyone on earth had his "i love you just the way you are" mentality..... if that were the case, you wouldn't feel nearly as stressed about your perceived flaws, because you would constantly be surrounded with people re-assuring you that you are valuable just because you are a human being, that you are important and that you are loved. Again, very few people like that in the world, but there are a few, and the more you bring in your life the better you will be.

Look I've written enough and rambled, i'm tired. I'm not saying these people are easy to find, I'm not saying you still won't have to deal with 95% of superficial society.... all I'm saying is through your journey, place an equal amount of emphasis on mental health and surround yourself with people that lift you up as much as you can, that support system is so important. Sorry if anything sounded harsh, it's just that Ive been watching some of you for at least a decade, some longer if you posted on other forums way back when..... and to see a lot of the same faces still grasping the same straws breaks my heart. I'm in the same boat as you guys, at this point in my life, I don't see a cure.... if there was, my body is still far too scarred up.... I have no choice but to slowly start to accept myself, even love myself as I am..... I'm sure I'll fail a bunch of times, hell, i have a bad breakout right now and it's funny..... 20 years ago I was a kid, sitting in my moms car, crying because i had to go to school with cysts all over my face...... 20 years later, i'm just a bigger kid, sitting in my own place, crying because I have to go to work tomorrow..... it all just repeats. But, there's at least some hope in healing your inner-self..... the true road to recovery lies in the mental, not the physical.

 

Great post, wish i could find acceptance and great friends as you have. I have become really socially isolated and so i spend even more time obsessing over my skin and diet. I just feel like my hope for a "cure" is all i have left to live for. If i had to let that go i would have nothing. 

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if my skin turned perfect right now i would be the happiest guy in the world and just go out and make up for all the lost years i suffered rbh i wouldnt be depresed at all id be ON TOP OF THE WORLD forgot all the money in the world i just want my skin back really but thats cause im ocd and i think we all are cause i see alot of successful guys and girls with beatiful spouses with acne and scars so i think this forum is a forum full of mentally ill people from acne. theres a bunch of people with acne that just continue living there life like demar derozan, chris bosh, people u see at restaurants, bartenders.

 

I think this forum feeds negativty onto all of us, we hear one person feeling like there life is ruined because of acne scars and then we think were ruined too because they think it. 

 

This site has good things and tries to help and u can have some suport but i think its filled with people with mental illness cause alot of people have acne and scars and live super happy lives and dont even care at all.

 

I did once, i had some scars i didnt care i had a beatiful girlfriend. but now im back inthe cycle and it just cause more acne BECAUSE STRESS is the BIGGEST cause of acne. dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

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There is a cure its called discipline. No matter how much skin burning benzoyle peroxide you put in your skin, egg yolk, or whatever other "cure" you put in your face you will never get rid of your acne ever. The only way to never get acne is to eat only vegetables, fruits, bread, eggs, and WATER every day for the rest of your life and to have only one cheat day every two months where you eat all the junk food you ever desire. This is how I completely got rid of my acne not some magical pill or some cream scam (since most acne creams are scams). Believe me it is extremely hard to maintain and a lot of discipline is needed but it is either this or living a life of emotional pain, personally I’d rather be on a broccoli diet than being humiliated like I was in the past.

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Brilliant post..

It's very true but just so hard to get out of. When I had bad skin I went on accutane and cried daily about how ugly I felt. When I had clear skin I constantly checked it wasnt coming back, obsessed over any red blip I got. Now I'm getting a couple more breakouts than usual and severely stressed. It's a viscious and taxing loop.

 

deep down I know stress plays a huge part for me - but it's so so hard to find a way out of it. It's difficult to escape the pattern of constantly worrying. 

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On 21/11/2015, 06:46:50, clive17 said:

I was surprised that I logged on here for the first time in years and what I read literally mirrored the exact same stuff I used to read 20 years ago. Everyone finding a cure, yet everyone still here complaining about their acne. "i found the cure! Take a ground up rabbits paw, sprinkle it with garlic, boil it in a pan and let the steam gently absorb into your face"..... then you get about 100 people trying it. A month later, those people are all still here complaining about their acne. That cycle just repeats over and over. A new cure. Hype. Jump on the bandwagon. Months later it is all forgotten and back to square one.

 

Yeah, I completely share this viewpoint. I've seen people claiming that all these natural remedies and crazy suggestions are making a huge difference to their skin, but never ever are there any before/after photos. And, yep, they're always back complaining a few weeks later.

 

I mean, I really sympathise with these guys. I've convinced myself that stuffs working in the past when it really hasn't made a difference. You need to be brutally honest when assessing your acne and how it's responding to medication.

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And dont stress... That in my experiences is the MAIN cause, this causes a vicious cycle of stress that constantly keeps us in this pattern.

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The OP's post really hit home.  Even if my scars and all future acne were 100% cured, I would still have the psychological damage from years of being treated differently by people because they easily saw something wrong with my face...

I've always been more introverted than extroverted and the worsening scarring in the past 5 years has only made me more introverted.  Outside of a few hobby groups, I no longer care to seek out new friends.  I still go to things like meetups mainly for outdoor activities (hiking, kayaking, etc.), but I don't care to try to make friends from them.

The battle is not to become too cynical or negative, but that is really tough in this modern world.  It seems like it was much easier to be happy back when there wasn't an age of mass media and where people could access millions of photos and videos of sexy men and women with the press of a button or flip of a switch...  Ignorance truly would have been bliss since you were not constantly reminded of very good looking people out there who seemed like they had such an easier life than you is so many ways....

I really want to run away from this modern world...  I am fairly serious in that after my parents pass, I would not hesitate to sell what I can and then take a one-way road trip to Alaska.  Live or die in nature and not in the superficial modern world.

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On 11/25/2015 at 2:27 PM, anthony180 said:

if my skin turned perfect right now i would be the happiest guy in the world and just go out and make up for all the lost years i suffered rbh i wouldnt be depresed at all id be ON TOP OF THE WORLD forgot all the money in the world i just want my skin back really but thats cause im ocd and i think we all are cause i see alot of successful guys and girls with beatiful spouses with acne and scars so i think this forum is a forum full of mentally ill people from acne. theres a bunch of people with acne that just continue living there life like demar derozan, chris bosh, people u see at restaurants, bartenders.

 

I think this forum feeds negativty onto all of us, we hear one person feeling like there life is ruined because of acne scars and then we think were ruined too because they think it. 

 

This site has good things and tries to help and u can have some suport but i think its filled with people with mental illness cause alot of people have acne and scars and live super happy lives and dont even care at all.

 

I did once, i had some scars i didnt care i had a beatiful girlfriend. but now im back inthe cycle and it just cause more acne BECAUSE STRESS is the BIGGEST cause of acne. dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

I agree that this forum does feed negativity into us.  I come here to be connected with others who suffer from acne and acne scars, but after reading the posts sometimes, I feel even more depressed and awful.  The truth is I have known quite a few people with acne and acne scarring and they have partners and seemingly fulfilling lives.  Thank you for your post and for seeing the same things I see.  I need to stop coming here for sure.  I am in therapy (CBT and ACT) so I can have a fulfilling life as well.  

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Very insightful Clive17. You're absolutely right. It's mental toughness which will help us overcome all this... It takes time, but it's all possible with a positive mental outlook.

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Just speaking from my own experience, but Accutane for me was in effect a "cure."   After 5 months of Accutane at a high dose, my severe cystic acne pretty much went into remission.  Most of the negative stuff on Accutane is completely overblown and the internet perpetuates this irrational fear-mongering of something that has been proven to work.  Does it work for everyone? No, but for the vast majority of people it is essentially a cure.    It is this same fear-mongering that made me afraid to take Accutane and so I put it off for years.  The result was that my acne became progressively worse and I ended up with some bad scarring.  To this day, I still regret not taking it sooner and saving myself from the misery.   

I'm just really tired of all these holistic healing types who are just parroting the nonsense they read online when in fact they have not taken Accutane themselves.  This does not include people who have genuinely have bad side effects, which is unfortunate.  

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On 29/02/2016 at 3:33 PM, blahblah82 said:

Just speaking from my own experience, but Accutane for me was in effect a "cure."   After 5 months of Accutane at a high dose, my severe cystic acne pretty much went into remission.  Most of the negative stuff on Accutane is completely overblown and the internet perpetuates this irrational fear-mongering of something that has been proven to work.  Does it work for everyone? No, but for the vast majority of people it is essentially a cure.    It is this same fear-mongering that made me afraid to take Accutane and so I put it off for years.  The result was that my acne became progressively worse and I ended up with some bad scarring.  To this day, I still regret not taking it sooner and saving myself from the misery.   

I'm just really tired of all these holistic healing types who are just parroting the nonsense they read online when in fact they have not taken Accutane themselves.  This does not include people who have genuinely have bad side effects, which is unfortunate.  


What do you actually mean by the term 'cure'? Do you mean a prolonged period of remission (like more than 3 years)? If the acne sort of comes back again, whether light or heavy, it's not really a cure. Could you go a bit more in detail about your experience with Accutane, especially the side effects (if any) that you experienced and how fast were you 'clear'. Thanks. Edited by Convinceme

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Exactly what convinceme said, do you mean cure for acne or cure for acne scars? Or both? The cure for acne exists and in many forms although I still have to read about a maintenance dose of anything to keep it from coming back, safely. A low continued dosage of Accutane will do this but it has side effects, non as bad as having acne IMHO. Anyway I don't get people always complaining about accutane. It's a great medication that fulfills its purpose.

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On 29 February 2016 at 11:21 PM, AlexanderJ86 said:

They will never give me (Ro)Accutane. They don't give it to people with mental disorders, like depression.


I was put on accutane whilst on antidepressants. My derm would only prescribe if I saw a therapist as well to moniter me once every couple of months, but that was it. Most derms will prescribe regardless of most mental disorders as long as they can moniter you.

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You guys are misunderstanding what I wrote.  Accutane does not cure scars.  What I meant to say was that if I took it much earlier in my acne journey, I would have prevented the cysts from becoming worse, hence avoid the scars that came with them.   My point was that I fell victim to all the fear-mongering and ridiculous misinformation that is pervasive on these forums about Accutane.  It scared me to death reading about all the "horrific" side effects of Accutane, which never even materialized.  I had really bad chapped lips and that was about it.  Most people do not experience the overblown side effects that are parroted by people who have an agenda.  They want to promote everything "vegan" and "natural" when it's really just BS and non-science.  

I said Accutane was "in effect a cure," meaning that my severe cystic acne did indeed go into remission and if I get a pimple at all nowadays, it's a tiny one that goes away in a couple of days.   This is a minor miracle considering at one point I had probably one of the worst cases of acne in my  high school.  It was pure hell for me.  That's why I'll always be an advocate of using Accutane if you have true severe cystic acne, not the common acne most people moan about.  I have never had a recurrence of that level of acne ever again.  Many people share my experience.  It's not an absolute perfect cure, like you never get a pimple again, but close to it.  If you want to play semantics, then yes it's not a "cure" in the strictest sense, but as many doctors have state, it's about as close to a cure as you're going to get in the real world.  

@AlexanderJ86, what exactly are you dealing with? I'm not clear if it's acne or scars, or both.  

Edited by blahblah82

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On March 9, 2016 at 3:01 AM, blahblah82 said:

You guys are misunderstanding what I wrote.  Accutane does not cure scars.  What I meant to say was that if I took it much earlier in my acne journey, I would have prevented the cysts from becoming worse, hence avoid the scars that came with them.   My point was that I fell victim to all the fear-mongering and ridiculous misinformation that is pervasive on these forums about Accutane.  It scared me to death reading about all the "horrific" side effects of Accutane, which never even materialized.  I had really bad chapped lips and that was about it.  Most people do not experience the overblown side effects that are parroted by people who have an agenda.  They want to promote everything "vegan" and "natural" when it's really just BS and non-science.  

I said Accutane was "in effect a cure," meaning that my severe cystic acne did indeed go into remission and if I get a pimple at all nowadays, it's a tiny one that goes away in a couple of days.   This is a minor miracle considering at one point I had probably one of the worst cases of acne in my  high school.  It was pure hell for me.  That's why I'll always be an advocate of using Accutane if you have true severe cystic acne, not the common acne most people moan about.  I have never had a recurrence of that level of acne ever again.  Many people share my experience.  It's not an absolute perfect cure, like you never get a pimple again, but close to it.  If you want to play semantics, then yes it's not a "cure" in the strictest sense, but as many doctors have state, it's about as close to a cure as you're going to get in the real world.  

@AlexanderJ86, what exactly are you dealing with? I'm not clear if it's acne or scars, or both.  

i waited 5 years before accutane . was clear within a month. took 20 mg in morning and 20 at night for 4 months . 5 months post accutane it came back just as bad if not worse. now 5 months post 2nd course i get acne again

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