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bumpee

Tears...(New job same old treatment...like a leper)

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I just started a new job a month and a half ago. Same old same old. People pretend to like me but their actions show otherwise. I have made one friend. (My manager encouraged her to befriend me)

Other than a couple of people who are okay . I am treated like a leper.I would like to think its all of my mind. But once again Im being treated like I have a contagious disease. Its worse than ever. If you could all see the office Im in. Its an open space. So everyone sits in a long row. Im the only person in my row. Literally everyone else is on the other side. Im in tears. Im ready to leave. If anyone does sit in the same row as me there are at least two empty seats separating us.  Everyone else sits together. This is really bothering me. Even when I work in the smaller regional offices, if another person is scheduled to work in the same office as me, they use a different one.  Its no coincidence.  I tapped a co worker on the arm during a company event last night. She glared at me and kept rubbing her arm. I cant take it anymore. Im starting to wish I were no longer alive. Im friendly, outgoing, but Ive become withdrawn. Afraid to talk to anyone. 

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This hit really close to home. It's really unfortunate that we have to experience things like this. It really sucks, sorry you have to work there.

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I have a grand vision that someday I will come with a bang. All these people who had jeered and made fun will be on their toes to befriend me and they wouldn't be worth my time. 
I've had people actually comment to my face that nothing looks good on me with my skin years ago. I am on my way to get better.
Don't lose hope. Stick with the people who are your friends now. Reinvent yourself work-wise, it really gives you a sense of achievement. 

Hang in there. Don't even think about dying, why should you die for others' stupidity? You don't need them to finish your work and get back home, you don't need them when you're hungry. Just have one person who cares about you, or family, or even just yourself. xoxo

Edited by bucklesnbelt

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Thanks Bucklesnbelt. I just dont like being treated like an outcast nor do I need my manager to arrange a pity friendship. This is all so pathetic.  I really cannot take much more. Its one thing to be young and have acne. In fact a friend of mine told me yesterday that she thought (back when we were younger..havent seen her in years) that i was so beautiful. I was shocked.  Even when my current friends look at my pics they say how pretty I was. Although the acne rarely showed on pictures. I had it and was made fun of. But now instead of the bumps, I have a million ugly holes and scars. I get no compliments anymore. No one talks to me. Even when I meet new people they always talk to other person with me and ignore me.

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Thanks Bucklesnbelt. I just dont like being treated like an outcast nor do I need my manager to arrange a pity friendship. This is all so pathetic.  I really cannot take much more. Its one thing to be young and have acne. In fact a friend of mine told me yesterday that she thought (back when we were younger..havent seen her in years) that i was so beautiful. I was shocked.  Even when my current friends look at my pics they say how pretty I was. Although the acne rarely showed on pictures. I had it and was made fun of. But now instead of the bumps, I have a million ugly holes and scars. I get no compliments anymore. No one talks to me. Even when I meet new people they always talk to other person with me and ignore me.

I just started a new job a month and a half ago. Same old same old. People pretend to like me but their actions show otherwise. I have made one friend. (My manager encouraged her to befriend me)

Other than a couple of people who are okay . I am treated like a leper.I would like to think its all of my mind. But once again Im being treated like I have a contagious disease. Its worse than ever. If you could all see the office Im in. Its an open space. So everyone sits in a long row. Im the only person in my row. Literally everyone else is on the other side. Im in tears. Im ready to leave. If anyone does sit in the same row as me there are at least two empty seats separating us.  Everyone else sits together. This is really bothering me. Even when I work in the smaller regional offices, if another person is scheduled to work in the same office as me, they use a different one.  Its no coincidence.  I tapped a co worker on the arm during a company event last night. She glared at me and kept rubbing her arm. I cant take it anymore. Im starting to wish I were no longer alive. Im friendly, outgoing, but Ive become withdrawn. Afraid to talk to anyone. 

They are excluding you. They are bullies. It is an unhealthy work environment. Their so-called friendliness is all an act. Is that "forced friend" talking to you like you are a small child?

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She is not talking to me like I am a small child. We even went to an exercise class together last night .I was almost fooled until my boss asked me how the class was...Im like oh arranged play date lol. Its very high school. The one person I thought was a friend who is actually on my work  team made sure to sit on the other side of the room, knowing I was by myself. He is the same person who invited everyone to go to lunch AFTER Id already gone.  I feel sick to my stomach and cannot wait to leave.  The one good thing is that I do my job well and im taking care of my children. Thats whats important.

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Finally a post I can relate to! I'm not joking in the slightest everything you wrote is happening to me at the moment and has been since i was 14 years old hell i use to be that so called good looking kid that the girls use to giggle at but even then i payed no attention to them as i saw how they treated others but guess what instead of karma hitting them i got the plague know as acne and from then on i noticed how people change around you how they stare or look at you but with eyes searching g each and every mark on your face or the distance starers who pretend they are looking at you but really are looking past you pretending to make eye contact. I know exactly what your  going through and i even made the mistake to work on checkouts   for 2 months and the comments and looks i got crumbled my confidence to the breaking point i'm sorry i can't offer any advise in truth im seeking advise myself.  Hopefully we can encourage each other, or something? 

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I was so hurt about what happened yesterday I could barely sleep last night. I chose to work in an office by myself today in the regional office today. @Lucas, I wanted to write more yesterday but my laptop keyboard was acting crazy. People will say it is because of your personality like you said. But thats bunk !! Im friendly outgoing...etc. When I sit at one end of the row, everyone else piles up on the opposite end of the row. So Im not going to try to sit next to anyone so that they can find a way to move away from me. I just caught a glimpse of myself in natural lighting and I look like a monster. I guess I took things for granted before when I was younger and dealt with this. To be the oldest one in the office and have horrible skin = automatic outcast.

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Oh the distant starers SeekinToBeRealAgain.  Finding ways not to make eye contact....or sit across from you.

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I've decided just to ignore everyone that stares at me or stare back.  While just being super positive even if I have to force myself to.

If anyone comments on my face i'm no longer going to act as if they are right or hide in a corner (figure of speech) i'm honestly going to say fuck you! How dare you think that your opinion on my appearance MATTERS! it took you 3-4 years to develop speech and this is the shit you decide to say. Your not worth my time energy or presence. if you don't like me i don't care because i can't stand you either . So carry on being an ignorant fool cause you wouldn't last a day in my shoes.  The way I see it is Were the only people in the whole fucking world strong enough to handle this many people would break and commit suicide or allow this to rule over our lives but here we are still standing still fighting and STILL wishing to be better. There's not many people in the world doing that. Because most people can't handle it but we've been plague by this sickness but atleast we are still sticking to our guns and doing something with our lives even if we feel acne or scars limits us we still to what we need to do to survive. All im saying is i took some time to just step back and think how many people could handle the shit i've been through and when i realised not many all those people that'd look at me in disgusted i'd look right back at them even more disgusted knowing they have no idea what it really means to overcome things or to persevere in this world.

Their words mean  nothing to me now. I see it as a clown or some uneducated fool trying to tell me what i am or what to do seems CRAZY to me.  Of course I know some people may take offence even if a fool calls you down but really think about it what's so great in that fools life other then they have a clear face probably nothing.  Even if they are a rich fool their still a fool a fool that can't grasp the true concept of life.   

Anyhow done with my long ass rant hopefully  everyone can see their scars or acne in a different light now and just concentrate on their education/ work  and forget about all the nobodies bothering you. Remember don't let anyone call you down  or act in any matter to put you down EVER! They have no right and are lucky you even notice people like them.

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I am considering taking action against my employer for discrimination. It is clear they are alienating me due to my skin.  As I mentioned in my first post in this topic, whenever a co worker has to share a workspace with me they suddenly disappear or go to a different room.  The company is making changes and they are pairing folks to work together permanently in different locations. Im being moved from the location I work out of twice per week and Im being moved to a far away location in which I will work in an office alone. I know they will try to play it off since I did express interest in working out of that particular office a couple of days per week.  They are going to use that as an excuse to move me away from everyone else..isolate me. I feel sick to my stomach. Im not stupid. 

I even asked my co worker who is supposed to work with me on Fridays why he never comes into the shared workspace area. He said its because he has had so many meetings. Im not dumb. This kind of behavior is only done to me. Im excluded from any social gatherings that are not company wide. I tried to chalk it up to me being on a different team. The team I am on is small and even the two other teammates exclude me. I know I am a friendly, nice person. I know this treatment is because of my skin. Its very depressing

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Everything in this thread, from the OP to the replies, has resonated with me and really hit home...  I have been in the "real working world" for about 8 years now post college.  Only in the past 3-5 years have I started notice how other people react and treat me; my scarring got worse than it has ever been in the past 3 years mainly because I was depressed for about 2 years, bouncing between temp jobs, masturbating too much maybe?, and drinking 1-2 beers a night just to stay calm...

Well thankfully in the past year I have discovered this forum and other websites with advice on acne/scarring (reddit, etc.) and have implemented many changes to my skin and body care routine.  I am no longer needing alcohol at all after a long day and my mood has generally been better and more positive.  My main resolution for 2016 is to learn as much as I can about scar reduction and then go get some procedures done!

Anyway back to the OPs point, the thing that hurt the most in my opinion and experience is this:  It did not seem to matter what one's education/background/etc, were when they treated me with disdain, disgust, scorn, etc.  That is, I have worked in professional jobs (engineering, technical) and the people have also treated me as if I was an outcast, had a contagious disease, etc.  People in those positions you would think would have more education, be more worldly, maybe have more empathy?  Nope!  I have also worked in blue collar manufacturing jobs and have the same general reaction from people: they are scared when they look at my face, or when I look in their direction; they can't look directly at me when we are talking about work related stuff etc.  In those types of jobs, perhaps this is expected since generally those people are less educated and less worldly than people in professional positions.  Basically, when random strangers (i.e. the bank teller, an engineering hiring manager at an interview, random women around my age at the mall) see me, they usually are disgusted and try to get away from me as soon as possible...  This doesn't bother me as much as it used to, but I would see how continually experiencing that with people you see everyday (due to work) would make it almost unbearable since they don't usually show any signs of warming up/becoming accommodating/understanding of your condition....

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On 1/13/2016, 9:55:09, bumpee said:

I am considering taking action against my employer for discrimination. It is clear they are alienating me due to my skin.  As I mentioned in my first post in this topic, whenever a co worker has to share a workspace with me they suddenly disappear or go to a different room.  The company is making changes and they are pairing folks to work together permanently in different locations. Im being moved from the location I work out of twice per week and Im being moved to a far away location in which I will work in an office alone. I know they will try to play it off since I did express interest in working out of that particular office a couple of days per week.  They are going to use that as an excuse to move me away from everyone else..isolate me. I feel sick to my stomach. Im not stupid. 

I even asked my co worker who is supposed to work with me on Fridays why he never comes into the shared workspace area. He said its because he has had so many meetings. Im not dumb. This kind of behavior is only done to me. Im excluded from any social gatherings that are not company wide. I tried to chalk it up to me being on a different team. The team I am on is small and even the two other teammates exclude me. I know I am a friendly, nice person. I know this treatment is because of my skin. Its very depressing


This seems like it would be hard to prove since there is a lot of plausible deniability on their part.  Any form of job-related discrimination that isn't directly related to perhaps sex/race/gender orientation (and witnessed by someone else!) is likely going to be very hard to prove...  I support that you are planning to take these actions.  Things have to change!  I have already tried to get disability due to my scarring and was denied.  But I am sure that the people who have worse scarring than me would like that opportunity!  I feel like without any organization, there is little chance to make a case to get those changes implemented and make people realize that adult acne and scarring can be disabling in so many ways!

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