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Cure for Cystic Acne? Or am I cursed for life.

Hello, I'm Morgan and I'm 17 years old. About 3 1/2 years ago when my father died I was prescribed Lithum from accusations of being bipolar. My skin then reacted by creating large cysts on my chest, shoulders & back. I have tried almost every possible solution I can think of. Cortisone shots, I'm on birth control that specially is more likely to help acne, I take Doxyclyin and have been for 4 years. I've tried certain types of herbal teas & treatments that don't seem to help very much. I regularry use Retain-A and only use face wash with the main indgredent as Benzyl Peroxide. Even after this, my acne doesn't seem to get better. Honestly, it's getting worse every day. I get a new little cyst almost every other day. There even on my boob... My shoulders are covered with huge flattened out cysts from the cortisone. And my back is covered from regular pimples from big, medium and small cysts randomly scattered. Honestly, I can't take this anymore. My self esteem plumits daily. I find myself as monstrous, a big boil. I don't ever wear v necks and can't ever wear strapless bras. Around summer, I barely ever do anything with a bathing suit. This might sound ridiculous but the cysts keep  continuing at the rate that they are, I'm sure I will become sucidal.
I have suggested accutane to my mom & we were thinking about it for a couple months and she honestly thinks it's too dangerous. I've tried and tried to convince her, having panic attacks on the floor thinking it was the only way, I cry and cry almost every day. Just a couple of days ago, I was talking to my neighbor, my second mom and she told me she'd look into it for me. She also suggested that I should not take it even in the most extreme of cases. Is it the only option now? I would pay to get acctuane by myself and wouldn't save for my first car if that was the case. Getting clear skin is my #1 priority 

Another note: I have always been acne prone and when I was younger had terrible acne & backnee but just regular white & blackheads 

I am vegan and gluten free and eat mostly a plant based diet. I haven't had any dairy for 4 years now.  Cutting dairy helped my skin drastically but now it's getting to the way it was in the beginning. 

What can I do to help elimate this from my life once and for all? 
Someone please help, I'm out of all hope 


Edited by Teenagedramaqueen
Added an image and another sentence

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