I have been a member of this forum since 2011 and in no way was I prepared to still be searching for an answer how many years later. I've had acne since I was 16 and now I'm 32. It's chronic and I get all kinds. My skin now is inflamed with over a dozen pustules, three cysts and many closed comedones. I also have dermatitis which makes treating with topicals all but impossible. I've tried diet changes, naturopaths, holistic people and most topicals and orals known to man. I've exhausted almost all pharmaceutical options. I was prescribed spiro and its my next step before even beginning to think about a uber low course of accutane......again.
With that said, I am an emotional wreck. I am a teacher, I choose not to wear make up and I am once again getting the stares and questions about my skin. It's been a rough deal. Tomorrow night I meet with a therapist to start treatment on my depression and for the first time, I plan to be 100% honest about my skin issues. I figure this is a lifelong condition so I need to learn to deal with having it and quit focusing on making it go away.
I have my brothers wedding in November and a huge family gathering in December and my anxiety is through the roof over this. Hopefully others can offer words of kindness and/or support.
I'm really sorry you feel this way. I felt -- and sometimes still do feel -- what you feel now. I think it's wonderful that you are getting help from a therapist. I hope they can help you emotionally, and if you ever need it, I can be supportive of you as much as I can. Just send me a message anytime. I hope you feel better about yourself.
Thank You for the kind words!
You're very welcome! What has gotten me through my horrible acne was the thought that I am more than just a human with bad skin. I am a person who still contributes to society, who still makes people happy and smile. I like to think, "Did Einstein have acne? Did anyone significant in history have acne?" And the answer is, yes! But we don't talk about that because we don't care about that. It's all about how you are moving throughout the world. So what if some people talk badly about your skin? One of my favorite quotes from my favorite book "The Help" says, "Every morning, until you dead in the ground, you gone have to make a decision. You gone have to ask yourself, Am I gone believe what them fools say about me today? I always think about this quote every single day of my life. You just can't let the thoughts of others bother you. It's hard, yes, and I never thought I'd reach that point but I am there.
Lol- I like that quote! I know that I am more than my skin. It's just in those moments I look in the mirror and see the lumps and bumps, it just sucks. I'm taking steps though to heal emotionally and I have my faith too so I know that there is more to life than skin.
Thank you again
Before I say anything else, I just wanted to say... Congratulations! Honestly, going for help is the first step to starting your life again. Even if this therapist doesn't help, keep searching for the right one -- I had therapy earlier this year for my skin conditions (acne everywhere including body and seb derm on my face ) and it's effect on mentally and it definately helps.
I'm sorry to hear you're going through so much.. Earlier this year I was suicidal due to my skin, but I've slowly managed to get past it.. Sure, my skin is always on my mind, and every breakout makes me cry, but from suffering so badly for so long I know it will never be easy, but it will be easier.
I just wanted to say as well, that acne and your fears definately can be more mental than physical. For example... I found a video of me a couple weeks back. I filmed it with a friend about two years ago and my skin was awful. Acne was worse than earlier this year, my seb derm was SO red it looked painfully sore.. But guess what? I was happy and really didn't care. I was dating people, out every night, working all the time, physically active... I was great! Something clicked earlier this year that made me think I'm ugly with my skin, but it was worse before and never stopped me from living my life.
My brother had worse skin that me earlier this year before he started accutane. Literally not acne.. Boils. He had about five baby apple sized boils on his face, making his eye swell, his nose huge... But he didn't give a crap! He didn't even want to go on accutane. He's out every day, has so many friends, literally the happiest most carefree person I've ever met in my life. He's 19 and going into the music industry, and his skin has never let it get in his way. Thankfully his skin has cleared because god knows he deserves it... But really, it all is just a mental view.
Acne is an 'ugly' trait, yes... But so is being fat, being too skinny, grey hair, no hair, wrinkles, being too small/being too tall, being pale, being too tanned... But we never notice those traits on other people 
You are definitely right about the mental aspect of it. When my acne was severe before I don't recall being this socially withdrawn, obsessive person. Now, I'm in that trap. I'm looking forward to therapy and to finally getting the tools I need to be emotionally healthier.
Thanks!
I have been a member of this forum since 2011 and in no way was I prepared to still be searching for an answer how many years later. I've had acne since I was 16 and now I'm 32. It's chronic and I get all kinds. My skin now is inflamed with over a dozen pustules, three cysts and many closed comedones. I also have dermatitis which makes treating with topicals all but impossible. I've tried diet changes, naturopaths, holistic people and most topicals and orals known to man. I've exhausted almost all pharmaceutical options. I was prescribed spiro and its my next step before even beginning to think about a uber low course of accutane......again.
With that said, I am an emotional wreck. I am a teacher, I choose not to wear make up and I am once again getting the stares and questions about my skin. It's been a rough deal. Tomorrow night I meet with a therapist to start treatment on my depression and for the first time, I plan to be 100% honest about my skin issues. I figure this is a lifelong condition so I need to learn to deal with having it and quit focusing on making it go away.
I have my brothers wedding in November and a huge family gathering in December and my anxiety is through the roof over this. Hopefully others can offer words of kindness and/or support.
Acne is a horrible cruel disease - but it does make us stronger. I think you are incredibly brave. Teaching is a tough job and you do it whilst having to deal with skin issues. Don't be too hard on yourself. I give myself a little silent applause just for getting out of the house and going to work! -although i am not as brave as you to go without make up. This might seem like just an everyday thing but when you feel emotionally broken and depressed it is a big achievement.
Seeing a therapist sounds like it could be helpful - at least it will give you someone to talk to about how you're feeling.
I was extremely depressed for awhile after my grandma passed away - she was the one i talked to when i felt down. I found taking vit d and getting out in the sun really helped lift my mood. I also cut down my work hours so i could have some time to focus on my health and not being so stressed. Sometimes we need to actively do something to help ourselves otherwise we will be trapped in a neverending depression.