I have been dealing with acne for over 5 years.I would pop a zit whenever I saw a head and sometimes would also pick my skin.I never had problems with scarring till early June this year.
Don't think antibiotics can cause scarring to start occurring but over time the skin loses a little of its robustness from ongoing spots. Life is never meaningless though and you will get through the struggles! There's a lot of support and understanding people and ideas to try on these forums so read on but also focus on the good stuff that makes you happy 
I'm in a very similar position to you! I've had acne for the past 4/5 years and used to pop my spots and they never scarred. As soon as I went on accutane I didn't pop my spots but somehow had lots of scars and red marks left over. Its annoying because my spots were so bad on accutane and I never poped them but they have still left red marks. On my forehead I had a lot of small spots which I thought wasn't a problem until they left me with rolling scars. It's annoying but we are just unlucky so hang in there and try to get treatment if it bothers you as much as me. For rolling scars, subcusion, chemical peels and laser resurfacing seem to have the best results. Good luck!
