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azstl25

Anyone Have No Sexual Or Dating Experience Because Of Acne?

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Many guys on Tinder have acne scars and don't try to hide them. I like how confident and secure they look even though they have some really noticeable scars. Work on your self-esteem and you will find love. 

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I don't agree. The grass is always greener on the other side. Gender has nothing to do with how acne affect a person, its about how you can or can't cope.

Don't you think that having depression and mental issues is a bigger cause at least in your case? You admittedly have those problems. 

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16 hours ago, Angelinna said:

Many guys on Tinder have acne scars and don't try to hide them. I like how confident and secure they look even though they have some really noticeable scars. Work on your self-esteem and you will find love. 

The esteem part is not my problem, the self part is. I don't have a self to have esteem about.

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I'm a girl and although my skin could be much worse even at it's peak, I let it make me think the worse of myself. In  thepast couple of years, I just accepted that my skin is how it is and learn a lot about my self.

My long distance boyfriend and I started out as friends on FB. He had his own non acne related struggles and told me he felt he didn't have to hide how he was feeling from me. He knows I have trouble with my skin and it's not an issue in the least.

Bottom line is find some one you have common interests with. Friends first is really important too as it will show you if their personality is a good match and if they're willing to be there for you when you need them to be.

Appearance should never be an issue and if it is, they're not worth your time and effort. Acne and\or scarring does not define who you are.

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In the younger teen/young adult years nobody around me really showed interest in dating me. Looks matter. Then. As adults were more forgiving as we mature (hopefully people do mature) so looks and flaws mean less while things like  personality, and character traits matter more like stuff not seen such as confidence which is often been said to me by various girls to be unique to each guy and highly attractive.  While acne doesn't completely leave me alone one thing that has changed is my confidence  which has made me lots of friends and them friends ask others and me if im single and am looking to date. I find this odd as this never happened growing up.  But thinking about it these logical connections do make sense. So i will say self esteem, your attitude towards yourself, and overall confidence do matter. I've still only had relations with 1 person but numbers don't mean anything to me because its not a numbers game. Just lookin for the right one.

As the above person said appearance should never be an issue as it does not define you

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On 7/7/2016 at 1:36 AM, azstl25 said:

I will be 36 in less than two months, and I will still be dateless, sexless scar-ridden beast of the apocalypse.  I would like to thank my parents for giving me my subhuman genetics, and also for having a  lack of empathy for my suffering that I've endured. You're the best fam.

I sense lots of hate, instead seek peace.

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On 7/28/2016 at 3:28 PM, AlexanderJ86 said:
On 7/28/2016 at 10:01 AM, SkinDeeply said:

See...that argument there...that's what's called a speculative fallacy
I know that women with acne are treated far better than me. I have seen it. If you are not, then you are an exception. You can see it here all the time as well. Boyfriend this, boyfriend that and I am like "at least you can get a boyfriend".

Maybe you just have a lousy personality?

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21 hours ago, k3tchup said:

In the younger teen/young adult years nobody around me really showed interest in dating me. Looks matter. Then. As adults were more forgiving as we mature (hopefully people do mature) so looks and flaws mean less while things like  personality, and character traits matter more like stuff not seen such as confidence which is often been said to me by various girls to be unique to each guy and highly attractive.


I agree with this. Looks matter when you're young and I think its incredibly disingenuous to pretend otherwise. I almost want to scream when I hear someone tell a teenager to just be themselves or that nobody cares what hey look like. Inner beauty counts for squat at that age if you're ugly on the outside.

Unfortunately, as an added kick in the teeth, youth is also when we build the foundations of our lives and personalities. How we look and how we are treated then can have a detrimental affect on the course our lives take. There is no reset button that you can press a 21, you have to live with what you've experienced.

But like you said, I like to think that it changes as we (and more importantly our peers) get older and hopefully more mature.

  Edited by jwalk

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On July 23, 2016 at 0:43 AM, Koloz said:

I highly doubt you're going too see young girls 14-22 dating guys with severe disfiguring acne like I just got over having. I'm still very insecure about my face and body as whole so no dating anytime soon. I have considered getting an escort.

I was friends with a guy in high school who had horrific acne and his girlfriend at the time was a total babe. She was hands down the prettiest girl in school. Yeah, it may be the exception but this just shows anything is possible; don't give up.  Edited by MonroeQT

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5 hours ago, SkinDeeply said:

Maybe you just have a lousy personality?
That is what the psychiatrists thought as well. So they gave me social skills training. The training did nothing, because my social skills are already excellent. They were very happy with me. You can believe me, because the psychiatrists do that as well. The hostility is real.
3 hours ago, jwalk said:

I agree with this. Looks matter when you're young and I think its incredibly disingenuous to pretend otherwise. I almost want to scream when I hear someone tell a teenager to just be themselves or that nobody cares what hey look like. Inner beauty counts for squat at that age if you're ugly on the outside.

Unfortunately, as an added kick in the teeth, youth is also when we build the foundations of our lives and personalities. How we look and how we are treated then can have a detrimental affect on the course our lives take. There is no reset button that you can press a 21, you have to live with what you've experienced.

But like you said, I like to think that it changes as we (and more importantly our peers) get older and hopefully more mature.

 
I have not noticed that actually. What I have noticed that people become much colder and more distant. I can't even connect with people who have mental disorders like me.

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16 hours ago, acne scar obsession said:
On ‎7‎/‎7‎/‎2016 at 2:36 AM, azstl25 said:

I will be 36 in less than two months, and I will still be dateless, sexless scar-ridden beast of the apocalypse.  I would like to thank my parents for giving me my subhuman genetics, and also for having a  lack of empathy for my suffering that I've endured. You're the best fam.

I sense lots of hate, instead seek peace.

Believe me, its a struggle.  Some days are better than others.  If I appear hateful it's because numerous hateful things have been said and done to me, and I basically turned the other cheek and took it.  I do have a lot of anger built up, and this forum has been a outlet of expression that I've kept bottled up my  whole life. 
Edited by azstl25

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I'm 23 and haven't had sex in a long time, I'm now a part of the mgtow community. As I feel the whole dating thing is a big load of crap for us males.

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LOL at this thread still being posted on after one year.  I was really bitter and in a hateful place when I joined a year ago.  I don't want to be that person anymore.  I'm done with that fam.

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I never had any trouble with women when my face was clear with some light scarring. I don't think the scarring really bothers most women and they can actually see past that. If anything, it gives your face some character--at least for me it does. I'm fortunate to have an overall "youthful" appearance despite being 27. Most women usually guess I'm anywhere between 21-24. The scarring in turn gives me a mature look, I suppose. I don't approach women when I have acne because that's very visible and it shatters my confidence. I doubt many of them care either way but I do care so I can't be bothered with striking up a conversation when I have some bumps on my face.

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I have had dating/sexual experience, and i believe my acne was one of the things that helped show the kind of person i was along with my personality and such. Once you get older (I am 18, but have learned from things around me) people start to realize looks aren't the key to a good relationship. There's always still hope, you just need to know how bad do you want it.  

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On 7/31/2016 at 3:48 AM, SkinDeeply said:

Maybe you just have a lousy personality?
well to be honest, many people with mental disorders do come across as harder to like/ love.

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1 hour ago, snarkygirl said:
On 31-7-2016 at 9:48 AM, SkinDeeply said:

Maybe you just have a lousy personality?
well to be honest, many people with mental disorders do come across as harder to like/ love.
True, but I am not one of them.

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On ‎8‎/‎3‎/‎2016 at 8:20 PM, IronMotivation said:

I have had dating/sexual experience, and i believe my acne was one of the things that helped show the kind of person i was along with my personality and such. Once you get older (I am 18, but have learned from things around me) people start to realize looks aren't the key to a good relationship. There's always still hope, you just need to know how bad do you want it.  


I realized I don't really want it.  The afflicted don't want to be comforted.
 

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im 31 (i look about 23)  and ive never dated/had sex.

generally im a skinny, unattractive guy  (i still get negative looks/ smirks on the street every now and then) but yes i would blame acne for my problems.  not saying i was a saint at school but the nasty comments i received from boys and probably more so by girls have left a deep mark on my personality and self esteem. i had very bad acne until my mid 20s and ended up shut off that part of my brain which expected to find love a long time ago.. sad but i dont really have any friends either.

my skin is not as bad as when i was young but my personality has been ruined.. i cant attract friends  let a lone a women so i go through life  numb, with my feelings switched off.

my life is empty.

 

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Hey guys...I'm so happy to read your comments...In situations where I'm in a very bad mood I often think that I'd be the only person with these acne problems...
I'm 27 years old and can't really say that I had a beautiful life...acne ruined my life..at all points I can say. 
I developped a social phobia...dropped out of university...and have panic attics when being among people...
I have a lot of acne scars on my body...especially on my chest and parts of my body with body hair (folliculitis). 

However, I had sex in my life...not really often, but I had...there were 2-3 moments where I was very happy but most of the time really unhappy cause I was really thoughtful and was always afraid to get bad reactions (sometimes, I got!). 
Since I have this social phobia (for nearly 1 year), I don't date anyone...it really stresses me not to be able to just dating someone...


 

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On 31/7/2016 at 9:48 AM, SkinDeeply said:

Maybe you just have a lousy personality?
No, he's right. 
Men are more desperate so girls almost always can have a good sex life and relationships because eventually they find a guy. 

Girls have many guys that are after them and they choose the best one among them, they don't give a chance to someone with bad acne scarring 

That's the actual truth

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Lol, i have bad scaring and i don't give girls much chances. Maybe i'm just too hot that girls can't get enough of me

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Yeah turning 22 next month and have never done anything with a girl. I think Im too late in the game to even try.

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Acne does make sex a lot harder, like imagine rubbing against someone with a bunch of acne on their body, or kiss someones cheeks who have acne. It sets limits.

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