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azstl25

Anyone Have No Sexual Or Dating Experience Because Of Acne?

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I'm a 34 year old male virgin who has never been on a date, or has had any sort of sexual experience with a woman. I've never even had any female friends. I probably have some personality issues, but the number one reason I believe is my acne and the subsequent scarring that I've had since I was 14. Has anyone overcame the odds and found dating success and or love despite having this genetic flaw? I often cringe when I walk by a woman and imagine what she thinks about my deformed face. I often imagine my female co-workers saying disparaging things about how I look. Even though I've controlled my adult acne, my scarring has made me feel like this will be a permanent affliction in my life.

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I might not have much experience in the dating world (or sex for that matter lol I'm only 16) but what I can say is that women often expect the men to ask them out. Don't ask me why but it is what it is. I'm sure if you become acquainted with one and start talking she'll see that you're not a bad guy and find interest. I think it's important to kind of get to know someone first before you even start asking them out. She'll just feel more comfortable with you that way and oftentimes I do believe it's weird when random people go up to you to ask you out. Getting the courage to actually ask a girl out is actually sort of a turn on in my opinion. It shows confidence and it might actually flatter the other person.

Also stay away from women who give off a conceited vibe or who are disrespectful/inconsiderate in some way because they are already complicated all on their own and are so not worth the time of day. Focus on someone who is kind, fun, outgoing, and all those great things.

Appearances shouldn't be a big deal. Honestly women just want someone who can make her laugh or have a good time and who make her feel wanted and special. Put yourself out there and try not to shy away. You can do it, I know you can.

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Theres someone out there for you. The biggest and hardest thing you need to do is starting putting yourself out there. I'm very self consious as well. I've been single for 2 years. Girls don't just fall into our laps as much as we would hope. Perhaps start a dating profile on a website and go from there. Don't try to hide yourself, the people that contact you will be aware of your scarring so you would not have to be so concerned about it and then you can show them that you have more to offer than your appearance.

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Very hard to notice acne in a club anyway.

If you get further just turn the light off mate, I'm sure she won't even notice.

All the best.

Edited by Lucky987
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Responding to Chris1337

IDK, online dating is pretty superficial. I mean you have to be physically attractive to the person for them to message or reply to you right? It seems like women have the advantage in online dating anyway since they can just pick and choose from all the messages from thirsty males. If your bottom-tier than forget it. I'm a bit red-pill FTW.

Edited by azstl25
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just got to a call girl and lose v plates, im 24 i've had many times where i could have got a gf but because i have so much scaring, i'm always depressed and not in the mood. I dont mind being alone just depressing and lossing motivation to do anything, only time will tell

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I'm a virgin. I avoided dating because of my acne. BUT

I have seen kids with some very severe cases of acne who had either had sex before, or had a girlfriend. I suggest accepting the fact that right now you have acne and people are gonna see it. After you've done that, and after you've let them see it, you will become more comfortable and eventually be able to have intimate relationships.

Edited by Melloman
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I strongly believe that how we view our acne directly ties into how we perceive ourselves and come across to others. I am literally a more withdrawn person when I'm caught up in my acne. I can be less social and more withdrawn. With that said, I do believe that there are opportunities for everyone to meet compatible partners. It's not easy but it can be done. Sometimes it's just a matter of approaching people for conversation versus for the purpose of sex or a relationship. I've met some pretty cool people via meetup.com. Also, having a pet and walking around is a great way to meet other pet lovers. Start off doing things you like and go from there.

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Online dating was just one suggestion. Takes 1 hour to set up a decent profile and then runs itself from there. You never know if someone may stumble along. Point is it's going to be next to impossible without taking active effort to meet people. Theres woman out there for us, it just takes much more work to find. I've got a 45 year old co worker with moderate/sever acne scarring, a hardcore lazy eye from brain damage, bad dental health and a lisp. He has a wife.
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Yup. It's very hard to build up the motivation to talk to girls when you live with the constant fear of not knowing how bad you're going to look when you wake up in the morning. Fortunately, I'm mustered up the courage to ask girls out - successfully I might add. I have a girlfriend of 2 years who understands my plight (moderate to several cystic acne). But I am left with debilitating social scars, such as constant anger, because of my acne. It's a bitch, and I wish you the best.

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I think that acne should not be the biggest problem if you wanna date someone. You already know that you might have some personality issue and I think that one of them is your lack of confidence.

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No one will respond to your online dating profile if you're a man with severe acne. Women can get around having more flaws because they'll always have hundreds of men messaging them. You can photoshop your acne out but then of course that's being dishonest and won't help when they meet in real life.

If you don't have active acne and only scarring though there is hope for you. Get plastic surgery or help to get your scarring fixed. Scarring isn't really as big of a deal as having acne covering your face and body because at least it can be fixed.

@Lucas89 how could you say something so incentive like that?! Wow I am shocked.

I suggest seeing a counselor or therapist to discuss your self confidence issues. There is no shame in that. But there is shame when you don't do anything about it!...You must know that you deserve better.

As for the scarring, have you looked into red light therapy? There are plenty of at home devices you can purchase online. If you are confident enough to post an anonymous picture on here, I'd like to see your skin. If not, I understand... but the best way for me to tell you the truth about your skin, is if we (i) can see it.

All the best,

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I am in the same boat as you are. Just go to a prostitute, man. From personal experience I can tell you that they are infinitely more social than regular women will ever be. Prostitutes are doing it also for the money, the presents, the attention, etc, but at least they are honest about it and sex is guaranteed. I recommend that you pick a good one. The good ones will act as if they are your girlfriends for an hour or 2. You have to watch out though, because it is highly addictive and you have to watch your money. All this virgin- and relationship bullshit is absolutely not worth the love, attention and sex. I have good experiences with women who come from the poor areas in the world. The poorer they are, the more of an effort they will make to please you.

Don't take any tips from the women over here. Trust me, they are lying just to make you feel better and to save their own faces. They will always say things like "women regard personality just as important, if not, more important than looks", but the reality is that it is the other way around. In fact, personality doesn't matter one bit and they regard appearance as more important than men do. Men generally love anything with a heartbeat and a hole. The same goes for narcissism, feelings of entitlement and special treatment.

Unless you look like George Clooney and are as rich as him, you are not going to have any success under any circumstance. Anything else is an exception that definitely does *not* confirm any rules whatsoever.

I can also tell from experience that women are not only put off by acne. If you are highly intelligent, withdrawn, good with mathematics and computers, then will run away from you as fast as they humanely can, because you are a dull and boring person. I fall in that category and women absolutely don't care that I have the best of intentions with the word, the nature, the animals, the environment, stuff like that. It never worked out for me. In fact, anything you do as a job or something like that will not work for you.

I am struggling with mental disorders due to how I am treated by my environment and that includes women. The psychiatrists thought that I was screwing up my relations with other people, but then they tested my social skills and my skills are excellent. Now they are slowly finding out that I am speaking the truth.

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Yea I saw that one coming. To be honest the "pay for play" option has definitely crossed my mind since it's the most likely way that I would experience sex. However, being in the U.S it's extremely risky. With my luck I would get arrested and have to go on a sex-offender registry, and my shitty life would be even shittier. I wished I lived in Europe or Australia if you know what I'm saying.

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I've given up a while ago. I've had relations before but I can't imagine having those now. Too many problems. Can't even keep plans due to skin issues "popping" up.

I thinks it is really brave that some of us go to work or school every day under such daily challenges.

Edited by guppy45
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Yea I saw that one coming. To be honest the "pay for play" option has definitely crossed my mind since it's the most likely way that I would experience sex. However, being in the U.S it's extremely risky. With my luck I would get arrested and have to go on a sex-offender registry, and my shitty life would be even shittier. I wished I lived in Europe or Australia if you know what I'm saying.

Yeah, if you live in that hellhole of a country, then it's going to be difficult. Would it be an idea to do elaborate research first?

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I am in the same boat as you are. Just go to a prostitute, man. From personal experience I can tell you that they are infinitely more social than regular women will ever be. Prostitutes are doing it also for the money, the presents, the attention, etc, but at least they are honest about it and sex is guaranteed. I recommend that you pick a good one. The good ones will act as if they are your girlfriends for an hour or 2. You have to watch out though, because it is highly addictive and you have to watch your money. All this virgin- and relationship bullshit is absolutely not worth the love, attention and sex. I have good experiences with women who come from the poor areas in the world. The poorer they are, the more of an effort they will make to please you.

Don't take any tips from the women over here. Trust me, they are lying just to make you feel better and to save their own faces. They will always say things like "women regard personality just as important, if not, more important than looks", but the reality is that it is the other way around. In fact, personality doesn't matter one bit and they regard appearance as more important than men do. Men generally love anything with a heartbeat and a hole. The same goes for narcissism, feelings of entitlement and special treatment.

Unless you look like George Clooney and are as rich as him, you are not going to have any success under any circumstance. Anything else is an exception that definitely does *not* confirm any rules whatsoever.

I can also tell from experience that women are not only put off by acne. If you are highly intelligent, withdrawn, good with mathematics and computers, then will run away from you as fast as they humanely can, because you are a dull and boring person. I fall in that category and women absolutely don't care that I have the best of intentions with the word, the nature, the animals, the environment, stuff like that. It never worked out for me. In fact, anything you do as a job or something like that will not work for you.

I am struggling with mental disorders due to how I am treated by my environment and that includes women. The psychiatrists thought that I was screwing up my relations with other people, but then they tested my social skills and my skills are excellent. Now they are slowly finding out that I am speaking the truth.

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I am in the same boat as you are. Just go to a prostitute, man. From personal experience I can tell you that they are infinitely more social than regular women will ever be. Prostitutes are doing it also for the money, the presents, the attention, etc, but at least they are honest about it and sex is guaranteed. I recommend that you pick a good one. The good ones will act as if they are your girlfriends for an hour or 2. You have to watch out though, because it is highly addictive and you have to watch your money. All this virgin- and relationship bullshit is absolutely not worth the love, attention and sex. I have good experiences with women who come from the poor areas in the world. The poorer they are, the more of an effort they will make to please you.

Don't take any tips from the women over here. Trust me, they are lying just to make you feel better and to save their own faces. They will always say things like "women regard personality just as important, if not, more important than looks", but the reality is that it is the other way around. In fact, personality doesn't matter one bit and they regard appearance as more important than men do. Men generally love anything with a heartbeat and a hole. The same goes for narcissism, feelings of entitlement and special treatment.

Unless you look like George Clooney and are as rich as him, you are not going to have any success under any circumstance. Anything else is an exception that definitely does *not* confirm any rules whatsoever.

I can also tell from experience that women are not only put off by acne. If you are highly intelligent, withdrawn, good with mathematics and computers, then will run away from you as fast as they humanely can, because you are a dull and boring person. I fall in that category and women absolutely don't care that I have the best of intentions with the word, the nature, the animals, the environment, stuff like that. It never worked out for me. In fact, anything you do as a job or something like that will not work for you.

I am struggling with mental disorders due to how I am treated by my environment and that includes women. The psychiatrists thought that I was screwing up my relations with other people, but then they tested my social skills and my skills are excellent. Now they are slowly finding out that I am speaking the truth.

The biggest load of bullshit I've read on here.

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Someone earlier mentioned how I lack confidence and she is correct. However, if all the feedback you have received from people regarding your appearance has been negative and insulting, how much confidence would you have? If all you've been told is how disgusting you look, and no girl (or guy) would ever be attracted to you, could you psych yourself out and not believe what your hear? This is what I've experienced since my acne. I still have unattractive features besides the scarring, I would still be on the below average range of attractiveness, but what acne did was make things 100 times worse. Besides, good looking people generally receive positive feedback from people, so that's where their confidence comes from. An unrelated question here: How come this forum wont let me quote posts? Has anyone else had this issue?

Edited by azstl25
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Someone earlier mentioned how I lack confidence and she is correct. However, if all the feedback you have received from people regarding your appearance has been negative and insulting, how much confidence would you have? If all you've been told is how disgusting you look, and no girl (or guy) would ever be attracted to you, could you psych yourself out and not believe what your hear? This is what I've experienced since my acne. I still have unattractive features besides the scarring, I would still be on the below average range of attractiveness, but what acne did was make things 100 times worse. Besides, good looking people generally receive positive feedback from people, so that's where their confidence comes from. An unrelated question here: How come this forum wont let me quote posts? Has anyone else had this issue?

Edited by AlexanderJ86
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I've been able to find love with acne scars. I was in another relationship when I started breaking out bad. We broke up, but not because of my acne. It was an unhealthy relationship and I'm thankful I'm out of it. I didn't really date after that for a while, I became really withdrawn. But then I met a guy quite randomly, we became good friends, we had a lot in common, we were both geeky, he loved dogs, I was able to confide in him and relax around him, we were able to talk very openly to eachother about everything, he made me laugh so much and was always so optimistic about things which I really needed around me at the time, and then we realized we fell in love and we started dating. I do wonder why he's with me sometimes, since there's so many girls who are way prettier than me, but he always assures me and tells me he could care less about my scars and that he doesn't want any one else. Now unless I wanna be a self-pitying bitch and not take his word and possibly annoy the hell out of him because I refuse to trust him, I believe him. My scars do still bug me, and I am still trying to improve their appearance, but I don't worry as much about what people think.... you don't want to be friends with judgemental pricks anyway.

And I can't speak for all girls since some are quite superficial, but honestly I really do care about personality much more than looks, especially after being with a "good-looking" asshole for so many years. And the older one gets, the more true I think this is. We grow more mature and realize there's much more important aspects we want in a mate than just looks. Back in highschool I remember this guy with bad acne and scarring, but yet he always got so many girls. Girls LOVED him. His guy friends would sometimes make fun of him about his face, jokingly of course, but girls were still head over heels for him.

My advice, work on yourself, and try to find some sorta peace. Figure out what sorta things you like and what makes you happy or feel important: hiking, animals, volunteering at an animal shelter/ helping the homeless, art/drawing, games, comics, comic-cons, books, the gym, cooking, gardening, cars, if your religious, maybe get more involved with your religious group, etc. Improve yourself. Try to get healthy if your not already--- no need for bulky muscles, but just overall health, its attractive to be healthy. Be kind (but don't be a pushover lol), understanding, and be a gentleman. Do something that makes you happy. Smiling is attractive too, and helps put people at ease. Get out. Try to live the best you can. I think this is the best way to try to meet someone, but as other said, there is always the internet, but I still think becoming friends first is a good idea. And I don't know how bad your scars are, but in many cases it can be improved, but you need to make sure your acne is under control first. And I'm really sorry people have said negative things about you. I know its hard, but try not to dwell too much on it. It really says more about them than it does you. Just, I really think the most important "lesson" about having acne and scars, is learning to be humble, having empathy (even for assholes), and being less of a judgemental prick yourself (if you were one lol). Its okay to feel down every now and then, and letting it out, but don't get caught in that cycle. I wish you the best in your future! :)

Edited by NomNomWaffles
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I've been able to find love with acne scars. I was in another relationship when I started breaking out bad. We broke up, but not because of my acne. It was an unhealthy relationship and I'm thankful I'm out of it. I didn't really date after that for a while, I became really withdrawn. But then I met a guy quite randomly, we became good friends, we had a lot in common, we were both geeky, he loved dogs, I was able to confide in him and relax around him, we were able to talk very openly to eachother about everything, he made me laugh so much and was always so optimistic about things which I really needed around me at the time, and then we realized we fell in love and we started dating. I do wonder why he's with me sometimes, since there's so many girls who are way prettier than me, but he always assures me and tells me he could care less about my scars and that he doesn't want any one else. Now unless I wanna be a self-pitying bitch and not take his word and possibly annoy the hell out of him because I refuse to trust him, I believe him. My scars do still bug me, and I am still trying to improve their appearance, but I don't worry as much about what people think.... you don't want to be friends with judgemental pricks anyway.

And I can't speak for all girls since some are quite superficial, but honestly I really do care about personality much more than looks, especially after being with a "good-looking" asshole for so many years. And the older one gets, the more true I think this is. We grow more mature and realize there's much more important aspects we want in a mate than just looks. Back in highschool I remember this guy with bad acne and scarring, but yet he always got so many girls. Girls LOVED him. His guy friends would sometimes make fun of him about his face, jokingly of course, but girls were still head over heels for him.

My advice, work on yourself, and try to find some sorta peace. Figure out what sorta things you like and what makes you happy or feel important: hiking, animals, volunteering at an animal shelter/ helping the homeless, art/drawing, games, comics, comic-cons, books, the gym, cooking, gardening, cars, if your religious, maybe get more involved with your religious group, etc. Improve yourself. Try to get healthy if your not already--- no need for bulky muscles, but just overall health, its attractive to be healthy. Be kind (but don't be a pushover lol), understanding, and be a gentleman. Do something that makes you happy. Smiling is attractive too, and helps put people at ease. Get out. Try to live the best you can. I think this is the best way to try to meet someone, but as other said, there is always the internet, but I still think becoming friends first is a good idea. And I don't know how bad your scars are, but in many cases it can be improved, but you need to make sure your acne is under control first. And I'm really sorry people have said negative things about you. I know its hard, but try not to dwell too much on it. It really says more about them than it does you. Just, I really think the most important "lesson" about having acne and scars, is learning to be humble, having empathy (even for assholes), and being less of a judgemental prick yourself (if you were one lol). Its okay to feel down every now and then, and letting it out, but don't get caught in that cycle. I wish you the best in your future! :)

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I'm a 34 year old male virgin who has never been on a date, or has had any sort of sexual experience with a woman. I've never even had any female friends. I probably have some personality issues, but the number one reason I believe is my acne and the subsequent scarring that I've had since I was 14. Has anyone overcame the odds and found dating success and or love despite having this genetic flaw? I often cringe when I walk by a woman and imagine what she thinks about my deformed face. I often imagine my female co-workers saying disparaging things about how I look. Even though I've controlled my adult acne, my scarring has made me feel like this will be a permanent affliction in my life.

I am a 30 yr old virgin who also doesnt date because of acne. Why dont you look for a woman with acne??? She might b feeling just as insecure as you are!

As for that prostitute comment that was posted. Well if all you're after is sex then alright. Is that all that guys really want? That isnt going to lead to meaningful companionship. If u really want a relationship i think you have to make the move - i suppose i am old fashioned but i would never ask a guy out i am just too shy. But dont go for someone who looks like barbie !! Take a chance on a girl who you might consider to be plain or frumpy - but who might turn out to b amazing once you get to know her. Well thats my opinion anyway :)

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