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My Skin Doesn't Match/reflect My Confidence.

MemberMember
1
(@absolutelydaisyx)

Posted : 11/30/2014 7:02 pm

Hello :)

i'm new here although i've been lurking on different posts these past few days. the topic title might not make sense so i'll explain.

i'm actually a very confident person, and i yearn to keep growing, confidence and self wise. but my skin, amongst other factors, doesn't reflect that.

i hide my problem area with my hair and concealer. i look down when i walk near people, which is very bad as people that don't know you can tell the kind of person you are by your body language,so people can see im not confident when i actually am and will walk all over you in any way possible. i fear the natural light, i dont talk to people because im dont want to catch them staring at my skin (the biggest and hardest thing for me personally to endure, skin wise), i have ruined friendships and potential friendships because i come across as rude or arrogant when i dont talk to people but its because i really can't. i want to, so badly but i cant. this isn't me, this is what my skin is making me do.

i dont think i should go on to the other factors because this is ACNE.org so i probably shouldnt. i am such a different person because of my acne, in good and bad ways. the good way is that im stronger mentally, sort of. but the bad way is that you wouldn't know i was one person if i didnt have a physical self. it's got to the point where i don't know what to do. it's strange because i want to show my inner confidence but my skin is like a closed window. so i cant really be myself. i dont know whether this was a question or a rant but .. this is me.

i cant talk about my skin to anybody but my little sister because shes the only person i can really. my mum has adult acne, although its better now and she has less active acne, shes left with rolling and boxcar scars. she says it doesnt bother her but im sure it does so me talking about it, wont help any one.

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MemberMember
28
(@fvckacne)

Posted : 11/30/2014 9:09 pm

If someone is walking on you..whose to blame? You are.

People need to quit bitching about 1 or 2 pimples. Life is INFINITELY harder than an acne scar. What do you think those people who are getting killed in iraq daily feel like? There are bigger problems in the world. Stop being conceited and thinking of yourself in the mirror constantly. It's like people keep searching for this perfect utopia that simply doesn't exist. People seem to be more concerned with vanity than with shit that actually matters. It's about time people learn it's all in their heads. If you want confidence, then you already have it. Everyone seems to want to hide their problems though.

If you're feeling down, that's YOUR fault. If people are walking on you, that's YOUR fault.

As much as this is the truth, the "mods" will probably see this as "abusive", and I'll "earn" myself a ban from the community. Which is fine, because I'll just set up another account.

Be responsible for your own situation.

jakspar0w liked
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MemberMember
1
(@absolutelydaisyx)

Posted : 12/01/2014 5:59 am

Okay,

1. Not in that way, ill be walking out from school and some girls say in the year below me that are the "popular girls" would obviously see me walking with my head down, if they're in my way and i say excuse me, they won't move unless i speak up(which is due to my inner confidence) or push past them which i can and have done. they would've moved instantly if my head was held high and all that. which if i didn't have this skin i would be doing.

2. I definitely am not "bitching" about "1 or 2 pimples". that's actually an ignorant thing to say. when acne interferes with your daily life and happiness, stops you from progressing in MANY ways then it surpasses just being "conceited".

3. I never said that there aren't bigger problems in the world, i never claimed to know what people getting killed daily in Iraq feel like.

4. It seems to me that you only made this account to bring other people down, i feel sorry for you, you clearly came on this subject to rant and be rude, "People seem to be more concerned with vanity than with shit that actually matters" "It's about time people learn it's all in their heads", "Everyone seems to want to hide their problems though." . i understand you want to rant about "people" and what people do but please do not do it here. a few things you have said are true, "Be responsible for your own situation", acne.org isnt the place to, go to debate.org.

wow, if this happened on my first post maybe i should stick to coming on here anonymously.

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MemberMember
25
(@fouzi94)

Posted : 12/01/2014 7:12 am

fukacne

dude come on ...this is called ''emotional and psychological effects of acne '' ...its the one place ...that you can say what you want and how you feel ..

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MemberMember
28
(@fvckacne)

Posted : 12/01/2014 1:36 pm

The point is, people who say stuff like "I can't have the confidence i'd like"...why not? What is stopping you? YOU ARE.

There seems to be this thing where people blame everything else but themselves for their problems, instead of understanding that often they are their own worst enemies. If you are "feeling stopped", then that's because you are making the choice to feel that way. In which case, I do not feel sorry.

Yes, acne might be somewhat of a problem. But if anything, you should be THANKFUL you only have acne. Listen, I understand what you're saying. I went through a period of that myself..but it can be overcome. That's the point I'm trying to drive home. Stop letting other shit control you. We always seem to reach for some level of perfection where things couldn't be better. Hell, marketing knows how to sell it fairly well too. But learn to appreciate what you do have. No one does until they're in far worse shape. I've been in both so it's not like I'm just talking out of my ass here.

There are a million-and-one excuses for "I just can't because.....X,Y,Z". Instead of that, start admitting what SHOULD be obvious: "I am the cause of my problems. I can't control other people, but I can control myself."

Look, I know acne is hard. Especially for girls. I sympathize. But, here's the thing: You alone are in charge of your own life, and you alone dictate how satisfied you are, how much success you have, and whether other people's "opinions" bother you. If you let others form your opinions for you, you will NEVER be satisfied, or happy for that matter. I don't care whether they're "popular girls" or not. They do not determine your happiness. Hold your head up. And, just maybe, smack those dumb bitches.

In fact, I would like to help you. Send PM.

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MemberMember
25
(@fouzi94)

Posted : 12/01/2014 3:35 pm

fvckacne

i agree 100 percent ....and i relate to what you said

but you could have been more nicer to OP

she was just sharing her feelings

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MemberMember
28
(@fvckacne)

Posted : 12/01/2014 4:53 pm

fouzi94, that's fair enough.

Try to use mind over matter when you're in a tough spot though. It works.

In any event, this is my last post on the site. Have other stuff to do.

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MemberMember
9
(@kimchiimonsturr)

Posted : 12/01/2014 11:30 pm

In the words of the great author, Napoleon Hill, Our minds become magnetized with the dominating thoughts we hold in our minds and these magnets attract to us the forces, the people, the circumstances of life which harmonize with the nature of our dominating thoughts. Basically, all those negative thoughts and impulses dominating your mind every day, will permeate into every single aspect of your life negatively. Those dominating negative thoughts will magnetize ( attract ) other negative thoughts and impulses in your life.

You must throw all negative thoughts out and bring positive thoughts in. This is one of the hardest things a human can do; to love thyself unconditionally. It takes time, effort, perseverance, and an ample amount of discipline to learn and cultivate the mentality to love thyself unconditionally. But if you can have a dominating positive mentality, you can expect your life to be propelled positively ( success ). If you let negative thoughts such as acne bring you down, then you will be brought down. The mind is a powerful entity. Whatever your mind believes in; your mind will make it your reality.

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MemberMember
1
(@absolutelydaisyx)

Posted : 12/02/2014 4:59 pm

fvckacne

i agree 100 percent ....and i relate to what you said

but you could have been more nicer to OP

she was just sharing her feelings

thank you, much appreciated

DeLovely liked
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MemberMember
7
(@squid31)

Posted : 12/13/2014 2:49 am

If someone is walking on you..whose to blame? You are.

People need to quit bitching about 1 or 2 pimples. Life is INFINITELY harder than an acne scar. What do you think those people who are getting killed in iraq daily feel like? There are bigger problems in the world. Stop being conceited and thinking of yourself in the mirror constantly. It's like people keep searching for this perfect utopia that simply doesn't exist. People seem to be more concerned with vanity than with shit that actually matters. It's about time people learn it's all in their heads. If you want confidence, then you already have it. Everyone seems to want to hide their problems though.

If you're feeling down, that's YOUR fault. If people are walking on you, that's YOUR fault.

As much as this is the truth, the "mods" will probably see this as "abusive", and I'll "earn" myself a ban from the community. Which is fine, because I'll just set up another account.

Be responsible for your own situation.

Buzz off.

Do you understand the concept of why people feel helpless? Because there are tons of shit in life that you can't control alone.

You think shit's as easy as "Just stop being X"? Hey go tell a homeless person "stop being so poor". Go tell a depressed person "stop being depressed" or better yet, go tell someone whose husband just passed away and say "hey, if it's getting you down' it's your fault". you see how stupid this shit is?

No offense but your cognitive skills are annoyingly impaired.

I'm going to give a little lesson to you because I'm in a pretty pissy mood right now.

Saying that something greater/worse exist isn't a good justification. Just because someone is being tortured to death, does it mean it's any less painful to be punched in the face? What kind of reasoning is that?

So because it is small in the scale of something much greater, it shouldn't have any consequences? what a load of bullshit. Who gives a shit about solving crime then, right?

there's literally millions of people who die in war. If you think your husband being murdered is tough shit, look at the rape and torture of nanking. is that what you want to say?

You alone determine your happiness? Mod edit What if your loved one pass away? What if you lose your house to fire? What if you get fired from your work and your family has to live on the street? Yeah you're in charge am I right? You can just turn the happy switch on and BOOM, right? There are many things that determine your mood. Part of it is having self control but not ALL of it like you're suggesting.

You're telling people how they should feel and what they're feeling is incorrect and unjustified. There is no such thing.

Every emotion is genuine and justified. That's not for you to decide. And in this case, OP felt bad and THAT'S THAT.

A kid is crying because he broke his toy? The mere fact that he's crying is enough to say that he truly does feel bad.

And your saying that he SHOULDN'T feel bad is a load of shit. He already feels bad. What does saying "you shouldn't feel bad cus there are people suffer more" going to do? Undo his emotional process?

This is my life. If I live in a country of war I wouldn't give as much thought about acne as I do now. But I don't live in that world. But the things they go through and the things I go through, are both types of suffering. And just because one is bigger than the other doesn't mean it's not suffering. This is critical thinking 101.

It's not my fault I have acne. And it's not my fault for feeling bad about it. It's not their fault they must suffer war. And it's not their fault for feeling bad about it.

I'm doing WAY WAY more work to keep myself emotionally stable than before acne. Then someone like you comes around to tell me that acne has nothing to do with it. Piss off and do the math: Acne did affect my life in a shitty way and it's not my fault.

I'd hate to generalize but you're one of those people who go around thinking that the reason why they're being challenged is because their ideas are different from the norm. The "truth", these people LOVE to say. Let me tell you straight right now. Your thinking process is not above average. There are literally tons of people with this "the truth" shit and the amount of bigotry and irony in you using that word in the same sentence to describe yourself not being a "sheep" is just astounding. You over simplify the problem and think that the problem is much easier to solve than people think. It's not. It's not as simple as you think.

I'm all for positive thinking and strong will, but the amount of bullshit you spew out is just disgusting.

"Be thankful for only having acne"? Mod Edit

and by the way. acne IS part of life, my thickheaded friend. So i don't know what you mean by life is harder than acne.

You caught me at a bad time. I would never say all this if I wasn't already having the shittiest day.

--------------------------------------------------------

And OP, I know exactly what you're going through. I was a very out going person and that personality slowly died out as my acne got worse and worse. Would the same thing have happened if I didn't have acne? I don't think so. It's not your fault. Blame genes or whatever it is. My heart goes out to you. There's not much I can say. But I believe that people find their own cure sooner or later. I think that's enough hope for me to keep going

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MemberMember
28
(@fvckacne)

Posted : 12/13/2014 2:06 pm

 

If someone is walking on you..whose to blame? You are.

People need to quit bitching about 1 or 2 pimples. Life is INFINITELY harder than an acne scar. What do you think those people who are getting killed in iraq daily feel like? There are bigger problems in the world. Stop being conceited and thinking of yourself in the mirror constantly. It's like people keep searching for this perfect utopia that simply doesn't exist. People seem to be more concerned with vanity than with shit that actually matters. It's about time people learn it's all in their heads. If you want confidence, then you already have it. Everyone seems to want to hide their problems though.

If you're feeling down, that's YOUR fault. If people are walking on you, that's YOUR fault.

As much as this is the truth, the "mods" will probably see this as "abusive", and I'll "earn" myself a ban from the community. Which is fine, because I'll just set up another account.

Be responsible for your own situation.

Buzz off.

Do you understand the concept of why people feel helpless? Because there are tons of shit in life that you can't control alone.

You think shit's as easy as "Just stop being X"? Hey go tell a homeless person "stop being so poor". Go tell a depressed person "stop being depressed" or better yet, go tell someone whose husband just passed away and say "hey, if it's getting you down' it's your fault". you see how stupid this shit is?

No offense but your cognitive skills are annoyingly impaired.

I'm going to give a little lesson to you because I'm in a pretty pissy mood right now.

Saying that something greater/worse exist isn't a good justification. Just because someone is being tortured to death, does it mean it's any less painful to be punched in the face? What kind of reasoning is that?

So because it is small in the scale of something much greater, it shouldn't have any consequences? what a load of bullshit. Who gives a shit about solving crime then, right?

there's literally millions of people who die in war. If you think your husband being murdered is tough shit, look at the rape and torture of nanking. is that what you want to say?

You alone determine your happiness? Are you retarded? What if your loved one pass away? What if you lose your house to fire? What if you get fired from your work and your family has to live on the street? Yeah you're in charge am I right? You can just turn the happy switch on and BOOM, right? There are many things that determine your mood. Part of it is having self control but not ALL of it like you're suggesting.

You're telling people how they should feel and what they're feeling is incorrect and unjustified. There is no such thing.

Every emotion is genuine and justified. That's not for you to decide. And in this case, OP felt bad and THAT'S THAT.

A kid is crying because he broke his toy? The mere fact that he's crying is enough to say that he truly does feel bad.

And your saying that he SHOULDN'T feel bad is a load of shit. He already feels bad. What does saying "you shouldn't feel bad cus there are people suffer more" going to do? Undo his emotional process?

This is my life. If I live in a country of war I wouldn't give as much thought about acne as I do now. But I don't live in that world. But the things they go through and the things I go through, are both types of suffering. And just because one is bigger than the other doesn't mean it's not suffering. This is critical thinking 101.

It's not my fault I have acne. And it's not my fault for feeling bad about it. It's not their fault they must suffer war. And it's not their fault for feeling bad about it.

I'm doing WAY WAY more work to keep myself emotionally stable than before acne. Then someone like you comes around to tell me that acne has nothing to do with it. Piss off and do the math: Acne did affect my life in a shitty way and it's not my fault.

I'd hate to generalize but you're one of those people who go around thinking that the reason why they're being challenged is because their ideas are different from the norm. The "truth", these people LOVE to say. Let me tell you straight right now. Your thinking process is not above average. There are literally tons of people with this "the truth" shit and the amount of bigotry and irony in you using that word in the same sentence to describe yourself not being a "sheep" is just astounding. You over simplify the problem and think that the problem is much easier to solve than people think. It's not. It's not as simple as you think.

I'm all for positive thinking and strong will, but the amount of bullshit you spew out is just disgusting.

"Be thankful for only having acne"? Mod edit

and by the way. acne IS part of life, my thickheaded friend. So i don't know what you mean by life is harder than acne.

You caught me at a bad time. I would never say all this if I wasn't already having the shittiest day.

--------------------------------------------------------

And OP, I know exactly what you're going through. I was a very out going person and that personality slowly died out as my acne got worse and worse. Would the same thing have happened if I didn't have acne? I don't think so. It's not your fault. Blame genes or whatever it is. My heart goes out to you. There's not much I can say. But I believe that people find their own cure sooner or later. I think that's enough hope for me to keep going

You seem to miss my point entirely. I'm aware there is suffering in acne. But this society is so pussified that many people blow small things way out of proportion. I know acne sucks. I had acne at one point. You don't think I know what the fuck that feels like? My point was that so many people like to complain, but they are not thankful for the things they DO have. I'm saying to stop focusing on the negative and live your life in a positive manner, as best you can.

No offense but your cognitive skills are annoyingly impaired.

Right, what I say makes no sense and I'm an idiot. That's why a lot of people want to read what I've said in relation to acne. Because I don't know what I'm talking about. And it has no merit. I must be misinformed. Funny how that works.

Yeah, of course there are emotions. But there's a difference in feeling bad for yourself or not letting it get to you, and maintaining a positive outlook regardless. That you can do. Period.

Look, I'm not bashing anyone on these forums. That you should understand. But I've seen posts where someone is breaking out with a single pimple that is barely even visible. Yet they talk about it in a way like they're about to die. Blown out of proportion.

Furthermore, I know that acne does take a toll on a persons attitude and self-consciousness. But many still suffer relentlessly from acne. And I just happened to be someone who fixed my acne. And it is with other people in mind that I've worked so hard to write articles and offer insight into acne, so that it might offer relief to sufferers.

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MemberMember
599
(@delovely)

Posted : 12/13/2014 3:31 pm

@Fvckacne and Squid31: This conversation has degenerated completely off topic. Please keep posts helpful to the OP and on-topic. Thank you.

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MemberMember
28
(@fvckacne)

Posted : 12/13/2014 6:25 pm

Fair enough.

That was the intent of the posts originally.

In any case, squid31, I wish you the best. And nice pic by the way, DeLovely.

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