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LightningInASkillet

Ever Feel Suicidal?

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@SNDR

Lotion with permanent effectiveness :) I wouldn't mind applying any disgusting matter on my whole body just to smooth out my skin texture when I go out.

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@Khaled91

Haha!
Even if it was made out of raw sewage I would still lather it on my face, gracefully. As long as it rid me of these damn rolling scars! :(

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Just got home from my girls night and I am so glad I went. No matter how difficult it can be at time's to actually get out of the house and socialize it actually helps tremendously. It was awesome to hang out with my friends, play game, drink some wine, eat good food and of course gossip lol it really beat sulking at home obsessing over my scars. My advice to anyone in the same boat as me, force yourself to socialize in comfortable places with people you love and feel comfortable with. It helps tremendously.

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Yes i stopped talking a lot, became even more withdrawn and had to take lots of days off work because i couldn't handle the stress i was under. The way i was walking at times they knew that ive lost my mind. I also started carrying a knife and had no problem using it on who eve that pushed me over the edge. The thoughts of suicide just about everyday was overweening i wanted to do it on my birthday aswell because i couldn't find a purpose anymorre to live.

I'm sorry I am little confused. Did all this happen after taking anti-depressants? Well either way that seems like you went through a very difficult time. Suicidal thoughts are the worst. Sometimes I can't believe i've ever had them. Seems like a nightmare that scars could cause all this.

No i don't beilve in them like yourself, i don't see how its going to change anything the way a look at my skin. I always put a strong front like i was happy i tryed my best not to be a burden attention seeking whore, i mostly kept to myself and shed so many tears alone, like i was suicidal at 19 due to family issues and acne drove me to the wall i drove my car at 140 in a 60 zone was ready to find a wall and end it all. I was plaining on doing it on this mountain but couldn't remember where it was if i had remember i most likely woilda been dead, Even now aswell when i'm really down and want to put an end i would drive to places for a good place to ram my car at high speeds to end the pain.

It got really worst when i was getting scewed by my fuking derm wasting my time freaking had chonie depression and he didn't want to help me out says, i don't need it anymore when clearly i did and he gave me a quote on subsection and fractal but the way you book at this place is just hopeless and don't send the infor to you

Edited by imad
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I'm not against medication if it was for depression that was caused by real medical reasons like a chemical imbalance. The problem here is that we KNOW exactly what is causing our depression issues. It's our freaking SCARS. For example, when I had treatments in the past like lasers or whatever, there would be a a week or two of swelling that made my skin look perfect. Of course my mood was lifted completely, and it was directly due to my skin looking temporarily better.

Medication is just a temporary bandaid, and doesn't really address the root cause of our depressive episodes. If acne scars are interfering with life so much that you can't function, then maybe medicines can just be a short term fix. But then there are pretty bad downsides to anti-depressants like weight gain.

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Treat your body like a temple... So true. I got drunk on saturday and i can swear it made my scars look worse. Probably cause my skin is now flat and dull. Eh.. :(

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Antidepressants work on the mood regardless of the circumstances I assume it makes a depressed person tend not to make a big deal about what he thought is the source of his dilemma and undervalue from its importance to him, I dunno how this process functions exactly but a friend of mine had been on Prozac and he assured me it helped him a ton to disregard the root cause that made him suffer from psychological disorders in the first place.

I've come across people who said that if they invent a magical device that cures all types of scars a depressed person will never gain back his self-confidence/esteem unless he gets treated mentally and I'm absolutely not buying that hypothesis, You all know that feeling when you look up close in the mirror in a certain atmosphere of really faint lighting and you can barely see any scars/acne at that exact moment I feel that my soul has been indulged with tremendous amount of overwhelming hope that can saturate the whole world and I'm not exaggerating Then when I turn on the higher lamp I get a feeling that cannot be expressed with words.... It's bad

Edited by Khaled91
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Blahblah I completely agree with you in regards to depression completely lifting temporarily due to swelling after scar treatments. Thats why I believe medications won't really fix it much. Maybe medications will calm the obsessive thoughts about scars though which could be helpful.

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@Khaled91

The way you described the looking up closely in the mirror bit, is exactly how I feel when I do that. It's like I don't have any acne scars and that overwhelming hope fills my veins and I can slightly feel what I felt like before I ever had acne or acne scarring. Your description was perfect. I couldn't have said it better myself.

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@SNDR


To be honest it's pathetic sometimes I try to setup this kind of atmosphere deliberately and try to maintain this belief that it's not severe as it appears under bright lights actually It improves my mood a ton then one day I take a quick spontaneous glance at my face while washing it in the morning and return to the zeropoint again. The cycle goes on.

But seriously I'm starting to deeply believe that scars specifically and skin in general gets affected tremendously based on how healthy and stable your nutrition and psychological state are.

Btw I'm sure you can come up with a more profound description It's a hassle actually trying to express myself sometimes. It's not my native language after all :)

Edited by Khaled91
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I know this may never happen... but would anyone be interested in a meet up one day in the far out future?

I just thought it would be pretty awesome if one day we could all pick a city and just meet up. Like go out for a coffe or dinner. It would be really nice to meet people from the same path of life. We can empower each other, share stories maybe even complain a little lol. Who knows, we can maybe even become pretty good friends.

I know it will most likely never happen. But I do want to let you all know that I'm so happy for all of you here on the org. Being able to talk openly about my inner most feelings is such a relief especially knowing everyone here truly understands where I'm coming from.

I love each and every one of you because you are all amazing in your own special ways

Edited by pineappleXpress
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i stopped drinking alcohol because its not good for skin lol, i remember when i was a bit younger i would drink so much id be in hospital blame it on the depression.

Its slighty better now days, i'm really hoping i can get that dermflage crap working just maybe its just annoying walking in the bright sun looking at other people like i just want to bone girls lol

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I can't help but think of these hysterical concepts, Please don't judge my messed up mentality just blame the circumstances.

A parallel universe : Oh man I haven't been getting acne for 8 years it sucks and what devastates me even more is that my skin is so smooth also having this really annoying red tone around my cheeks. Why Can't I just be like the vast majority with bumpy complexion !!!! Is it too much to ask.

Having said that it illustrates how normality and ordinariness are the only aspirations others and I seek, Sorry for being kinda retarded thinking out loud has always gotten me into troubles.

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This is a good idea. I haven't met anyone on here who lives close enough to make that happen though ):

I know this may never happen... but would anyone be interested in a meet up one day in the far out future?

I just thought it would be pretty awesome if one day we could all pick a city and just meet up. Like go out for a coffe or dinner. It would be really nice to meet people from the same path of life. We can empower each other, share stories maybe even complain a little lol. Who knows, we can maybe even become pretty good friends.

I know it will most likely never happen. But I do want to let you all know that I'm so happy for all of you here on the org. Being able to talk openly about my inner most feelings is such a relief especially knowing everyone here truly understands where I'm coming from.

I love each and every one of you because you are all amazing in your own special ways

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living with acne scars and sun is the worst my make up shows up and the deep pits look shit but every day i live its one less day i gota live

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For those of you that are looking forward to death, and are happy with each day closer, just a few things to think about. You will be dead for eternity and it will be here soon enough. Can't say where each of us will be, but I do believe it will be a forever place, don't subscribe to the reincarnation bit. So look at this life as a type of novelty and perhaps do something worthwhile. So many people really don't care about your scars one way or another. I know my son doesn't care, he just wants a loving mom. Go visit people in the nursing homes, they won't care, they've long past cared about external beauty. After 15 plus years of marriage, trust me, your spouse really won't care what you look like either. If someone does care I am almost offended lately, like why should I let their dumb opinion ruin MY day. Just learn to love yourself, somehow and you won't want to end ur life. Maybe if you have terminal disease and want to do the Death with Dignity thing, okay, but don't waste a good life because of mirrors.

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For those of you that are looking forward to death, and are happy with each day closer, just a few things to think about. You will be dead for eternity and it will be here soon enough. Can't say where each of us will be, but I do believe it will be a forever place, don't subscribe to the reincarnation bit. So look at this life as a type of novelty and perhaps do something worthwhile. So many people really don't care about your scars one way or another. I know my son doesn't care, he just wants a loving mom. Go visit people in the nursing homes, they won't care, they've long past cared about external beauty. After 15 plus years of marriage, trust me, your spouse really won't care what you look like either. If someone does care I am almost offended lately, like why should I let their dumb opinion ruin MY day. Just learn to love yourself, somehow and you won't want to end ur life. Maybe if you have terminal disease and want to do the Death with Dignity thing, okay, but don't waste a good life because of mirrors.

Agreed in most aspects, the psychological factor doesn't bother me that much lately though in terms of scarring I've given up to reality "Still sad but have come to an understanding with my condition" However what irritates me is that my face actually hurts like hell recently because of active acne I can't sleep on my cheeks or enjoy anything while my face is stinging 24/7.... I've tried all kinds of topical and oral medications either my body can't handle it or it has absolutely zero effect on acne even sometimes aggravates my condition and triggers more acne.

So right now I don't mind scars I just want my face to be cleared up because having a normal life has always been associated in my mind with having clear skin, I believe this is a legitimate request to be asked after all I've been through.

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That is a reasonable request and I hope you can get help from a doctor or nutritionist someone. I know exactly what it is like, as I have eczema type reactions on my skin where it blisters and scabs. It sucks! I don't know what is causing it either. When it happens sometimes I don't leave the house for three or four days. I can work from home so that's not as issue. But I've learned to just get through it. People have struggles and I still consider myself blessed in many ways.

For those of you that are looking forward to death, and are happy with each day closer, just a few things to think about. You will be dead for eternity and it will be here soon enough. Can't say where each of us will be, but I do believe it will be a forever place, don't subscribe to the reincarnation bit. So look at this life as a type of novelty and perhaps do something worthwhile. So many people really don't care about your scars one way or another. I know my son doesn't care, he just wants a loving mom. Go visit people in the nursing homes, they won't care, they've long past cared about external beauty. After 15 plus years of marriage, trust me, your spouse really won't care what you look like either. If someone does care I am almost offended lately, like why should I let their dumb opinion ruin MY day. Just learn to love yourself, somehow and you won't want to end ur life. Maybe if you have terminal disease and want to do the Death with Dignity thing, okay, but don't waste a good life because of mirrors.

Agreed in most aspects, the psychological factor doesn't bother me that much lately though in terms of scarring I've given up to reality "Still sad but have come to an understanding with my condition" However what irritates me is that my face actually hurts like hell recently because of active acne I can't sleep on my cheeks or enjoy anything while my face is stinging 24/7.... I've tried all kinds of topical and oral medications either my body can't handle it or it has absolutely zero effect on acne even sometimes aggravates my condition and triggers more acne.

So right now I don't mind scars I just want my face to be cleared up because having a normal life has always been associated in my mind with having clear skin, I believe this is a legitimate request to be asked after all I've been through.

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That is a reasonable request and I hope you can get help from a doctor or nutritionist someone. I know exactly what it is like, as I have eczema type reactions on my skin where it blisters and scabs. It sucks! I don't know what is causing it either. When it happens sometimes I don't leave the house for three or four days. I can work from home so that's not as issue. But I've learned to just get through it. People have struggles and I still consider myself blessed in many ways.

I praise you for being optimistic regardless of how much you seem to be struggling It moves me when I see others suffering, You've no idea the extent to which my desire to help every single person having his life ruined because of something he has no control over but what can I do I can't even help myself Urghhhhh it kills me.

Edited by Khaled91
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Yes, skin problems are a real struggle. Sometimes the psychological effects they cause afterward seem insurmountable, but they are really not. It is like I said before, it becomes a choice. I have done the "exposure therapy" ....I read up on it myself, never saw a shrink. It involves going out of the house without makeup and letting people really see you. As a woman for so many years I couldn't do it. Finally I did, and no one really looked at me too closely at all. I've even been out with a small square bandage on spots. One women thought I'd had skin cancer cut our or something. I actually told her my problems. My scars did use to be worse on some level, so I guess I can be thankful on days when they aren't as bad. It has been a lot of ups and downs though. I'll pray for everyone here!

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Hey my scarred fellows! Hope you are doing well today. On monday i got my second fraxel re:store done, much more redness this time cause of higher settings, but otherwise fine. Dont have too big expectations this time either, this laser requires patience and i've got loads! :D one day those scars will be reduced to barely visible and ill celebrate that day!! :D

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