Anyone?
For me I just get so down about it I honestly feel the urge to. I know it might seem stupid to an outsider, but it's on my mind all the time lately, and the only thing that's stopped me is that my mum lost her brother to suicide, and the family's still in ruins because of it.... I don't want to hurt the people I love.
These scars have robbed me of so much that it just seems like, why bother anymore with a shadow of a life, when I'll always have to live this? I'm 22 years old, but It's like I've been handed a life sentence.
I have no social life, no self-esteem...I hate myself for what I am. I barely leave the house anymore because the scarring is so horrible. Day-to-day I obsess and constantly mirror-check for hours a day, and my moods swing all over the place. I'm not much fun to live with and I feel guilty as hell for putting my Mum through it, because she doesn't deserve it. I hate to be a burden to her when she's done everything for me. Most of the time I stay awake all through the night and sleep all day just so I won't have to see anybody, and I'm so isolated I feel as though I could be the only person in the world.
I look at the person I used to be, and I just wish I could get back to that, but deep down I know that can never happen. I do try and keep a combative attitude and stay upbeat and positive about the whole thing, but I see my reflection and it's gut-wrenching... It brings me straight back down to feeling like it.
I hope I don't come across as attention seeking, melo-dramatic, or just whining or anything like that, but it's just constant you know? I try to explain to people what it's like to live with, but since they've never been through it, they just don't get it, and even if they did, there's nothing they, or anyone else could do. I feel like I've been crying out for help so long that there's nothing left in me anymore. Can anyone relate to this, even remotely?
Adam
Have you tried any acne scar treatment? Scars are hard to treat but its possible to improve them. I have acne scars since I was 19 and I'm 43 now. They were severe in the past but they are starting to become acceptable now. They are around 50% better, after some treatments. During the past 19 months I have done dermarolling/dermastamping at home and at least my shallow scars are slowly becoming better. Some of them are more than 90% filled in.
As for the deep scars, you can try subcision or excision. I have been on these message boards for 15 years and I saw so many true cases of improvement after subcision/excision that I have no doubt they work, even though I have not had those treatments done myself (they are not available where I live).
There is hope. Acne scars alone shouldn't be a reason for depression.
Cheers
I'm in the process of getting myself to see a dermatologist, but here in the UK referrals have lengthy waiting lists and to even be referred can take several months of seeing different doctors and being turned away over and over. Yeah, it's months that we can be waited out, it's just that everyday can be a real slog. I just want it to be better you know? I know it'll never be perfect, and that's okay... Just something I can live a life with. I really, really want laser resurfacing treatment after some of the positives things I've had, and right now, that's all the hope I really have. I posted pictures in a previous post if anyone has any ideas on anything that would help in any way.
The best thing you can do is try to improve them. Being suicidal is pointless because chances are you will never take your own life.
Improving them is what I'm trying to do. No one ever sat and decided to feel suicidal the same way no one sat and chose to have acne scars, or anything of that kind. I realise it's pointless to feel that way... trust me, I've wasted two years of my life over this. If it were up to me I wouldn't care about it. But logic isn't something that applies to things like this. When i do feel that way, logic goes out the window. You don't sit and think "well I'm gonna feel suicidal, so the end plan is to take my own life, so I'll do a, b and c, therefore my time won't have been wasted"... It's this thing that's horrible, and painful, that every inch of you is screaming to get away from. Like if you were to place your hand on a hot stove. No one would ever want to end their own life, only end pain that they can't take.
helloo??
how can u even not be?? i dnt understand most of ppl here they all seem so normal and casual abt all of this while i loose my mind practically every day. ive felt agony n just all the worst feelings ever. my life is worse than torture sometimes n way worse than death ofc.
being aestetic in defected face n imperfect body is just the worst experience ever
id so fucking do it if not my cats and parents bt rly it becomes harder n harder to endure, i might do it nearest months actually if nothing effective comes up, im just sooooo done its imposible to bare nymore
what kind of scars do you have skillet? i know how you feel i been there before. i have contimplated it many times and just like u i havent for the love i have for my mother and my family.
the best thing you can do is try too improve your scars anyway possible. it will take alot of patience and time even alot of money but if you try hard enouguh you can get some where. dont let it consume you or it will swallow you hole. think of it as being reborn into a new you. its a long and tough journey but you must have faith. i can totally relate to what your going through
I had no acne and no scars in my face, but on different places on my body from other reasons.
Yes, i feel suicidal and i'll probably do it earlier or later. The thought of suicide always scared me, but as time passes it gets a more and more pleasant imagination. I'm 24 now and my scar problem robbed me all the last years. I dont know how it feels to be happy anymore. I still scare death a lot and i dont know how to overcome this, but i hope i'll find a way soon to lose my fear from death and let go.
what kind of scars do you have skillet? i know how you feel i been there before. i have contimplated it many times and just like u i havent for the love i have for my mother and my family.
the best thing you can do is try too improve your scars anyway possible. it will take alot of patience and time even alot of money but if you try hard enouguh you can get some where. dont let it consume you or it will swallow you hole. think of it as being reborn into a new you. its a long and tough journey but you must have faith. i can totally relate to what your going through
i've posted pictures in other threads of them in detail.
It's a seriously hard graft some days. Just want the old me back, but I know that'll never happen. I have days were I'm able to forget it for hours at a time, but others when it seems to be all there is and ever will be.
And if anyone who's read this ever needs someone to talk to who understands completely the Hell that this can be, don't hesitate to drop me a message, for any support, or just an ear to listen.
I really know how you feel. It's very depressing to have scars. I've thought a lot about suicide too. But really, I know there is more to life than our looks. I believe we are here to learn lessons and experience as much of life as we can. To find a purpose and make a difference in life. The point of life is definitely not to be a good looking person or has anything to do with our looks. The media has definitely hurt everyone's self esteem and created pretty unrealistic expectations of skinny people with airbrushed skin. Other people do not have these same expectations as probably even you do for yourself. There is more to you than the way you look. I do understand though. I have almost crippling anxiety about my scars. Constantly thinking about them. I am not at all saying it's easy to get over it. I constantly have to remind my self that I am making a big deal out of nothing. That the emotional pain I'm inflicting on myself is silly and unnecessary. That millions of people have it so worse than me. Some people live their whole lives tortured, in severe pain, a slave somewhere, with no hope ever, and here I am feeling sorry for myself. It's a process to accept yourself. I am trying to work on it.
I had no acne and no scars in my face, but on different places on my body from other reasons.
Yes, i feel suicidal and i'll probably do it earlier or later. The thought of suicide always scared me, but as time passes it gets a more and more pleasant imagination. I'm 24 now and my scar problem robbed me all the last years. I dont know how it feels to be happy anymore. I still scare death a lot and i dont know how to overcome this, but i hope i'll find a way soon to lose my fear from death and let go.
r u kidding me? if you have no scars on your face your officially free from the hell that others live in. scars on body is completley different from the face. you can cover your scars with clothing look yourself in the mirror and go about your day, those with facial scars get reminded everytime they look in the mirror of the deformity they carry. i wish my scars were on my body n not my face my life would of been totally different for the better !
yeah i agree if i had my scars on my body i wouldnt care at all. i dont even care about acne on my body because really i can hide it anytime i want! thank goodness spiro got rid of all. we all view our scars and stuff differently though but yeah apetwin you should go out and enjoy life because you could have it 10X worse and have scars where everybody can see them. i didnt get any scars till i was about 35 and i used to get so upset about having stupid red marks. i would do anything to go back to the time when i just had the red marks. i would have been so freaking happy! ugh its like you dont know what you got till its gone as they say.
i will say though the longer you have the scars in some ways it gets easier because after a while you just get used to looking at them. its not that you can accept them but you can go about your day and not be freaking out about it every second.
Everybody knows someone who has whether acne or scars. Most people find scars even less visually disturbing than acne, frankly, since it's not something actively growing on your face. But even acne is such a normality nowadays that nobody cares. I see people with really bad skin issues everyday, it struck me recently how many people actually have whether acne or scars. Literally masses! Myself I have a nasty scarring myself, which i definitely dislike a lot and gonna soon try to treat with laser, but never thought of it as something that could put me down as much as my cystic acne used to. When the outside world doesn't care, it's all in your head and you should work with yourself instead of letting suicidal thoughts grow and nurture them. We can't give into destructive thoughts just because of an aesthetic flaw, it's just so unfair to all those people who die everyday for different reasons they couldn't choose, while all they wanted was to live. I know, you (talking in general), who is preoccupied with yourself and your image, couldn't care less about those people, but just think if it's really worth losing your life for not having a perfect complexion? Talk to a professional, get some treatments done, work with your inner critic, just stop caring about shallow things - fight it.
I had no acne and no scars in my face, but on different places on my body from other reasons.
Yes, i feel suicidal and i'll probably do it earlier or later. The thought of suicide always scared me, but as time passes it gets a more and more pleasant imagination. I'm 24 now and my scar problem robbed me all the last years. I dont know how it feels to be happy anymore. I still scare death a lot and i dont know how to overcome this, but i hope i'll find a way soon to lose my fear from death and let go.
r u kidding me? if you have no scars on your face your officially free from the hell that others live in. scars on body is completley different from the face. you can cover your scars with clothing look yourself in the mirror and go about your day, those with facial scars get reminded everytime they look in the mirror of the deformity they carry. i wish my scars were on my body n not my face my life would of been totally different for the better !
I would gladly trade my body scars your your little holes on your cheeks. I wasnt at a swimming pool or beach in 5 years. I dont know if i can even swim anymore, lol.
Everybody knows someone who has whether acne or scars. Most people find scars even less visually disturbing than acne,
i dnt know absolutely anyone! like personally or where i live
bt yea acne is grosser than scars, scars can b p cool actually bt u know whts grosser than acne? pores r!!!! im just more screwed up than ny of u here!! xC
skrillex btw has scars! n hes like 1 of the dopest ppl as we all know!
I know, because I have both enlarged pores and deep scars or my cheeks. But I don't really care about the pores - I could be happy if I only had those. They are a problem if you have a perfect, smooth skin. If your skin looks like crap, with deep depressed holes and bumpy texture, they are no longer a problem, hehe.
I agree with most of what you said...but nobody "chooses" to have severe depression which is a serious mental illness that needs treatment. Telling someone it's all in their head isn't all that helpful. It's great that you can live with your scarring and aren't severely depressed over it, but many people are and it's important not to negate the feelings someone has over their scarring even if it differs from how you feel about yours. Most people on here aren't vain or shallow...they just want to look the way they used to. On another note, if you are having suicidal thoughts, i'd definitely recommend seeing someone for it and getting help.
Everybody knows someone who has whether acne or scars. Most people find scars even less visually disturbing than acne, frankly, since it's not something actively growing on your face. But even acne is such a normality nowadays that nobody cares. I see people with really bad skin issues everyday, it struck me recently how many people actually have whether acne or scars. Literally masses! Myself I have a nasty scarring myself, which i definitely dislike a lot and gonna soon try to treat with laser, but never thought of it as something that could put me down as much as my cystic acne used to. When the outside world doesn't care, it's all in your head and you should work with yourself instead of letting suicidal thoughts grow and nurture them. We can't give into destructive thoughts just because of an aesthetic flaw, it's just so unfair to all those people who die everyday for different reasons they couldn't choose, while all they wanted was to live. I know, you (talking in general), who is preoccupied with yourself and your image, couldn't care less about those people, but just think if it's really worth losing your life for not having a perfect complexion? Talk to a professional, get some treatments done, work with your inner critic, just stop caring about shallow things - fight it.
I agree with most of what you said...but nobody "chooses" to have severe depression which is a serious mental illness that needs treatment. Telling someone it's all in their head isn't all that helpful. It's great that you can live with your scarring and aren't severely depressed over it, but many people are and it's important not to negate the feelings someone has over their scarring even if it differs from how you feel about yours. Most people on here aren't vain or shallow...they just want to look the way they used to. On another note, if you are having suicidal thoughts, i'd definitely recommend seeing someone for it and getting help.
Everybody knows someone who has whether acne or scars. Most people find scars even less visually disturbing than acne, frankly, since it's not something actively growing on your face. But even acne is such a normality nowadays that nobody cares. I see people with really bad skin issues everyday, it struck me recently how many people actually have whether acne or scars. Literally masses! Myself I have a nasty scarring myself, which i definitely dislike a lot and gonna soon try to treat with laser, but never thought of it as something that could put me down as much as my cystic acne used to. When the outside world doesn't care, it's all in your head and you should work with yourself instead of letting suicidal thoughts grow and nurture them. We can't give into destructive thoughts just because of an aesthetic flaw, it's just so unfair to all those people who die everyday for different reasons they couldn't choose, while all they wanted was to live. I know, you (talking in general), who is preoccupied with yourself and your image, couldn't care less about those people, but just think if it's really worth losing your life for not having a perfect complexion? Talk to a professional, get some treatments done, work with your inner critic, just stop caring about shallow things - fight it.
Well yea, if youre depressed already, only professional help will matter, but most people allow themselves to sink deeper and deeper into depression by acting like they have no control over their lives. It's always easiest to find a reason why you shouldn't get up and fight against what's making you unhappy, cause it actually takes a huge effort to do that. It's easy to just succumb and let the life chew and spit you out. But do you really want to be someone who everyone considers "just the weak link of the natural selection"? The truth is that there is always a way out, but usually that way demands more, than people are willing to give... We hear about people, who achieved something against all odds, who did the impossible and fixing your scars with the technology we have nowadays isnt even an impossibility. So whats there to sweat about? Having severe burn scars on your face might be troubling, but acne scars doesnt change who you are what are your facial features. Scars aren't disgusting. Scars are treatable. So be stubborn, dont look for reasons to not put effort and just let yourself get depressed. You beat acne, youll beat this too.
I'm not sure you're understanding what I'm getting at. There are people who have Body Dysmorphic Disorder which has a disturbingly high rate of suicide. I wouldn't call these people vain, weak or foolish. You're right that there are people who go through horrible things and come out okay in the end, but when you throw depression into the picture..it doesn't discriminate no matter what problems you have. I've battled bi polar disorder for a very long time, and scarring has only made my depressive episodes worse. The main thing i'm getting at is not to tell someone to just suck it up in any given situation, because you simply cannot measure heartbreak. Many people who go through the impossible are those with the mental capability to do so. Others aren't so lucky.
Also, scarring can most definitely distort the structure of your face to some extent. I have very prominent cheekbones (still do) but my scarring has completely distorted the contours of my cheekbones making my face shape look different. It really depends on the severity of the scarring.
I agree with most of what you said...but nobody "chooses" to have severe depression which is a serious mental illness that needs treatment. Telling someone it's all in their head isn't all that helpful. It's great that you can live with your scarring and aren't severely depressed over it, but many people are and it's important not to negate the feelings someone has over their scarring even if it differs from how you feel about yours. Most people on here aren't vain or shallow...they just want to look the way they used to. On another note, if you are having suicidal thoughts, i'd definitely recommend seeing someone for it and getting help.
Everybody knows someone who has whether acne or scars. Most people find scars even less visually disturbing than acne, frankly, since it's not something actively growing on your face. But even acne is such a normality nowadays that nobody cares. I see people with really bad skin issues everyday, it struck me recently how many people actually have whether acne or scars. Literally masses! Myself I have a nasty scarring myself, which i definitely dislike a lot and gonna soon try to treat with laser, but never thought of it as something that could put me down as much as my cystic acne used to. When the outside world doesn't care, it's all in your head and you should work with yourself instead of letting suicidal thoughts grow and nurture them. We can't give into destructive thoughts just because of an aesthetic flaw, it's just so unfair to all those people who die everyday for different reasons they couldn't choose, while all they wanted was to live. I know, you (talking in general), who is preoccupied with yourself and your image, couldn't care less about those people, but just think if it's really worth losing your life for not having a perfect complexion? Talk to a professional, get some treatments done, work with your inner critic, just stop caring about shallow things - fight it.
Well yea, if youre depressed already, only professional help will matter, but most people allow themselves to sink deeper and deeper into depression by acting like they have no control over their lives. It's always easiest to find a reason why you shouldn't get up and fight against what's making you unhappy, cause it actually takes a huge effort to do that. It's easy to just succumb and let the life chew and spit you out. But do you really want to be someone who everyone considers "just the weak link of the natural selection"? The truth is that there is always a way out, but usually that way demands more, than people are willing to give... We hear about people, who achieved something against all odds, who did the impossible and fixing your scars with the technology we have nowadays isnt even an impossibility. So whats there to sweat about? Having severe burn scars on your face might be troubling, but acne scars doesnt change who you are what are your facial features. Scars aren't disgusting. Scars are treatable. So be stubborn, dont look for reasons to not put effort and just let yourself get depressed. You beat acne, youll beat this too.
Pianina
Just gotta echo missamua's thoughts on this. If it doesn't affect you that's great. Really. But for a lot of people it does, and being so condescending doesn't really help anyone does it? From the title of the thread it should be obvious that maybe I just wanted support or some type of connection with someone who'd been through similar experiences.
Facial scarring is something that can take over your life, whether you have a strong character or not. Combine depression into that, and it's a struggle for a lot of people. Maybe you don't understand it, and that's fine, but to just dismiss the fact that people's lives are in ruins and put it down to being 'weak' is something I thought we'd left in the past as a society 50 years ago.
Your thoughts on depression are clearly the thoughts of someone who's never suffered from it, nor understands it, so to say someone suffering depression or any mental illness is just a weak link is just silly. Look at Robin Williams for instance. Rich, famous, loved the world over, achieved things most can only dream of, yet still took his own life. There were millions of people far worse off in the world. Would you consider him a 'weak link'?
I've steered from the topic, and I don't mean to have a go, but people who stigmatize mental illness the way you do are a massive part of the problem, and it's the people suffering who bear the brunt of your ignorance.