Finishing day 6

I've been taking my pill with a spoonful of coconut oil. I eat too for the best absorption. I drink some ACV. I take Yasmin, zinc, vitamin c, spirulina and acidophilus. That's my acne busting cocktail!

Today my lips are chapped, boo.... But on the other hand I'm looking forward to being less oily. It's summer and I work in a hot warehouse. Combination of oil and sweat makes this girls face shiny like you wouldn't believe! There's some dry and peeling areas, but previously using retin-a made me used to that. I popped a blackhead. I'm trying so hard not to pick, but this one was on the front of my face so looking straight into a mirror it was first thing I saw. I tried to leave everything else alone. Spot treated with a sulfur mask. No IB, hooray! There's still time for things to change. Barely week 1, but fingers crossed it won't happen to me.

It appears I am talking to myself on here, but that's ok. I'm enjoying this log because I like to write. I'm realizing how enlightening it is to say the things I go through related to my acne that I wouldn't otherwise say to people. It's not a cordial topic and definitely don't want to talk about it for sympathy.

I check the horrific ness of my face in my iPhone ALL the time. I do it secretly instead of holding a mirror and I'm obsessed with the view from all different angles. Phew... Weight lifted now someone knows.

I want to elaborate on "not wanting sympathy"

It's actually important to have people who support you in tough times. I did tell one best friend and an ex boyfriend now I'm taking accutane. I asked them to show their care for me and check in with me to make sure I'm ok. Maybe I will need someone to talk to. If I don't want to leave my house, but I need someone to come over. I can't allow myself to get depressed. My mom and I rely on my job. I asked for their attention and a little sympathy. They said of course!

How would you feel if your friend needed you, but didn't open up and tell you? If something bad happened to that friend that you could of helped?

I'm just saying... I hate to feeling alone so help yourself and open up to someone

Here's my worst angle on my iPhone to clearly see those scars! I'm anxious mostly every day to be clear and get then treated!

Well at least you barely have any acne at all

Thank you for commenting Mitchell1995! I took doxycycline 100mg twice a day prior to Absorbica. I give a lot of credit to the doxy for less redness and for helping huge cysts go away. I have skin colored bumps and a few active red marks still.

I came home from work and took a nap. I can usually wait until night time but I was so tired! Does anyone else experience really crazy dreams on accutane?

Hey, I started taking accutane (claravis) 30 mg on 8/24 and I've been experiencing weird vivid dreams too (along with a bunch of other side effects). But hopefully I can keep taking it because I have severe cystic acne and scarring like you

Hi Russel Thanks for commenting. I'm going to keep you in my thoughts and hope that we can overcome the difficulties. You are just 3 days ahead of me. It's so soon for us to have bizarre side effects.

Yup, hopefully! Also I COMPLETELY understand looking at your reflection on your phone screen. I'm constantly "checking the time" to try and get a glimpse of how bad I look haha. Sorry you have to go through this too, but it's kinda nice knowing that I'm not the only one haha.

Awuh thanks for your words, my accutane friend. You totally made me smile! I don't know anyone with skin like me. Seriously, this gets me. There's sooo many acne sufferers, but everywhere I go I do not see them! Not at work or at the store... Do they stay home all the time? Or other girls can hide their problem with makeup. I have to go places and I can't. I'm jelly! I shouldn't compare myself to other people, but my misery wants company! lol

Aside from that

Today was day 9

My lips are so chapped. I use my toothbrush on my lips to take off dead skin and it usually makes them beautiful. It made them bleed today.

I have tried, but failed at not picking. I was touching my face and felt some bumps that always reoccurr. I thought "I know this spot always pops easy" Next thought was "maybe my skin isn't susceptible to injury yet" I was weak... So ashamed that I self sabotaged. I vow to put a mask on my face so I don't see any of it next time, don't touch and don't make excuses to pick!

More crazy dreams and that is all.

Football season is back! Cheers

Day 10

I don't have much to report. It's my day off and here's what I'm doing with "me time" - I have a coconut oil mask on my hair. Fights dry, brittle strands and split ends. I focus on my ends, but I put it all on my roots too since I've had a dry and itchy scalp. I have an egg white/lemon juice/manuka honey mask on my face. My homemade mask takes 1/2 of a lemon. Squeeze the other 1/2 for some lemon water. I LOVE all of these natural ingredients. I'm going to leave on for about an hour while I write this. Listening to music too. I like an eclectic mix of music. My playlist just went from Crown the Empire - Johnny Ringo to Taylor Swift - Ours. So random. I know.

I put on a sulfur/clay mask on last night. I was touching. I tried to tap it instead of rubbing it. You know, like a girl with braids will tap her head instead of scratching. lol I put on a mask to stop. My mom said that I do too much to my face. I feel it's justified to prevent me from touching and picking. But maybe there is some truth to that... She said I need a pill to stop picking. Accutane and Xanax haha. That lady's funny. What do you guys think of my mask method? Too much perhaps?

I sent a text to the EX. He was off work and it so happened he was at our freeway exit. We live close. He says "be right there"... I took off to the bathroom to take off the mask and fix my hair that was pulled up. It was no more than 2 minutes later he was outside. He saw me without makeup and the night still went well. That was a win in my book

Had an eventful weekend! My older brother's birthday and NFL kickoff. Drinking, cooking, entertaining and just having a good time! Slept with makeup on once, oops 8/

This is overdue,

Day 14

Getting impatient. Consider how many masks I use (sulfur and clay, they both encourage dryness!) almost everyday! Admittably, I have ALSO used retin-a as a spot treatment. My moisturizing is reduced to toning with NA PCA (moisturizing face mist) and some mornings applying Cerave AM lotion. Why am I not dry or have not felt any change in my skin...?

For everyone else, is there anything happening?

Right on my package insert it says dosage: not recommended for once a day, strength: 1MG per KG.

My weight is almost 75 KG so shouldn't I increase my dosage to 40mg TWICE a day?

My dermatologist already dislikes me and I don't have a good impression of her either! Noticed that doctors don't like the patient to be assertive with what they want. I wanted accutane first visit and refused prescriptions for antibiotic and topicals. I could pay regular copay for my primary doctor to give me that. I pay $90 for a specialist! Come on... She then coldly said "it won't do anything for your scars." Felt like her people skills were absolute shit! I will go against her again and ask her to change my dose Bahahaha 8)

Personal accomplishment - Quit smoking cigarettes Saturday. 4 days! A person got me interested in vapour. K, its not 100% quitting, but a huge improvement from 10-15 cigarettes a day! Go me!

Before and after makeup. I'm broken out 8/

Day 18

Talk about a bad day... Stepdad and I got into a verbal fight last night. I had puffy red eyes when I woke up. Stressed out! Go to work and everyone says you look so tired, Amanda. In other words I looked like shit! Forgot Chapstick at home so my lips were dry and shriveled. I wanted to clean the dry bloody boogers from my nose with a qtip when I got home. Inducing a nose bleed. Didn't even know what to do because I have NEVER had not one before today.

Cancel my idea of increasing to 80mg... This pill is clearly having a strong effect on me.

Currently you can see dry patches on my skin and the zits look angry. Goodness...

Day 27

I wish I had more progress to report nearing the end of my first month. My condition is about the same. There wasn't much of an initial breakout. Nothing is healing better or faster. At some point I felt like there wasn't as much redness. As for today though... Different story... I think that when I'm washing my face with soap it feels softer. That's positive. I've been swimming lately and it seems like my pores look smaller when I get out of the pool. The very bad news is that I scratched a spot right next to my mouth. Idk exactly how it happened. There was a very thin piece of skin hanging from a raised bump. This is hard to explain, but this bump it's like a reoccurring nodule. The bump won't subside but it only gets a head every once in a while. I think a doctor needs to get the core out or maybe it has scar tissue from me trying to pop it. Does that sound familiar to anyone? Now after i scratched it and I took off the film of skin that was hanging there it is RED and looks somewhat like a burn. I'm really sa about that. Then my neck is still broken out. Before doxycycline it was nasty! I should be glad it isn't as bad as before and that it's still improving slowly. All the bumps and reoccurring nodules under the skin are stressful... I wonder if they will ever just leave. I never look at my skin in the mirror and think it looks good or even halfway decent. I hate my scars and pores and lines. Acne has ruined my face and put about 25 years on me. Feeling down n out. I try to remember what this girl from work told me. She's working out and she seriously wants her body to mirror mine. She said "your body is perfect. Seriously." Such a compliment. I told my mom and she said "yeah see, you can't have it all. You would be too perfect"

My appt with dermatologist is today. I hope it goes well and there's no snags in the line. Even more than before I've been drinking alcohol. Now my blood test is making me nervous.

Hello! Just wanted to say hi after reading your log. I just finished a course at 40 mg/day and it is not an unusual dose. There are conflicting beliefs about dose, but generally anything between .5 and 1 mg/kg is considered normal - you usually just take a longer course if you choose a lower dose. I could never get my dose up over 40 without throwing up.

Anyway - I can so relate to your picking struggles. I have been good for a long time, but I was very compulsive about it when I was younger and have the scars to prove it. Over time they have faded a lot, though. Less redness makes a big difference. Avoiding spending a lot of time with the mirror has been the most helpful. Also Accutane was very helpful. I did a course ten years ago and stayed clear up until last year, when I had a bit of a flare (not as bad as before my first course though), and opted to do it again as it has been the only thing that really helped me. When things don't itch and hurt, the urge to pick goes away a lot.

Hope everything goes well for your course!

Hi Kim28! I updated my phone to iOS8 and it hasn't cooperated when I write on here. It's been bugging! I HAVE to say... Its awesome that your scars have improved! Did that happen naturally or any contributors you recommend? The mirrors... And picking... Ugh! My nemesis' - I know it would help to avoid mirrors, but they temp me. Invite me into a trance and even though I know it's evil I fall into it. Then unconsciencly I'm stuck in the mirror and I can't rationally come out of it. It's crazy!

One more thing... I'm on 40mg twice a day!!! The doctor made the decision without me even mentioning it. I did ask her questions regarding how long the course was gonna be and if I was staying at 40mg the whole time. But I only asked!

Less than 1 full month on 40mg. 28 days to be exact. I will post more later on my therapy change... I have copied what I typed 3 times so I do t lose everything I write. Otherwise I have to rewrite what I remember when my phone does the freezing/refreshing thing. lol stupid phone

Hello. I'm male, 21, college student. Don't know if you still post here anymore. Just wanted to describe my experience as well.

I too have been on isotretinoin, or however you spell it. I started about 3 months ago. Have only successfully completed about one and a half full months. My first month was up and down.

Have used a BILLION of other meds and also creams and products to no avail.

THIS MEDICINE HAS BEEN THE ONLY THING THAT WORKED.

However, with its downfalls...

My skin got "horrifically" CLEAR after about a month and a week or so of continuous use, 40 mg in the morning, 30 mg at night. Dryness on lips and nose were noticed after about the first few weeks, then noticed dryness on my hands after the first month.

Cetaphil for my face has helped immensely. The only downfall is sometimes not remembering to use it and going into public with literally a VERY BOLD WHITE chin due to dead skin is sometimes awkward.

Other than that, the reason im on month 3 and havn't really taken it after the first month and a half is because i've noticed strange occurences that im not entirely comfortable with i guess.

The drug hasn't been studied for it's long-term effects all too well, so puts me a little on edge already. My muscles now feel a little strange, which i've been informed may happen. Honestly though, it didn't seem to affect me when i was hitting up the gym every day. However, I haven't studied this enough to confirm.

Also, i've noticed if i am to get a scar or scratch myself or do something along those lines that causes some type of wound that it seems to take a very long time to heal.

I also know this drug may have permanent lasting side effects. Some may be mild, however, the more moderate to severe one's kind of scare me. I've used it fine for a month and a half, as stated above, and all my acne is practically gone. I do not really see a need in finishing the whole 5 month program, but....

For the sake of my acne ever recurring again, I will, tonight, try and continue with the usage of it. It just bothers me that I could incur some kind of downside later on down the road due to this medicine.

In the end, with all of the downfalls aside, this medicine has literally helped me soooooo much, and that's just a month a half! Totally worth taking for at least that long lol.

In the end, i just hope everything turns out fine, but then again, we're really riding on hope for a drug that's not been studied, at least in the long-term, all too well.

Cheers, have fun

Hi there Mrxjester!

It has been a while since I've been on here. I came back for info on scar treatments. It's been 6 months post Accutane and so yeah. Here I am again. I'm extremely late on my response, but thank you for sharing your story nonetheless. The drug is sketchy, indeed. Us with acne will do near anything to get clear skin. I had minimal improvement. I stopped taking it at the end of 4 months. It was because of the side effects and money was an issue as well. Nose bleeds, the dry boogers in my nose, the skin rash on my arms and chest, face flushing and super chapped lips. I didnt see the pros out weighing all the cons. That was my situation. Im a little sad i didnt have some great success, but very lucky for you. I hope your clear days are sustained.