Yep, I'm starting to feel it.
I'm feeling a myriad of emotions right now...upset, scared, confused, depressed almost, stressed and Lost.
Not feeling like myself and really just need to vent.
Definitely I am losing hope. For the past few months my skin has been kinda getting worse than when it was from when I had it clear...FINALLY had it clear. To have felt for a short time, beautiful and glowing and sheer joy at my skin being frigging clear.
Now, its far from that. It's like everything I used has just stopped working and this is seriously taking a toll on my mental health. I am refusing anti depressants even though my mum think I need them BADLY. I can't do comparing my skin to then now. I used to compare it from being clear to when it was at its worse and I loved doing it but now..I weirdly feel like a Hypocrite when I do so since its not as clear as it was.
I'm just feeling like a little lost soul and really want to curl up into a ball and stay there for a while until I guess life just is gone. That's how I'm feeling, I can't help it atm. No-one in my life is really getting it right now and they can't tell why I'm so upset about it, but I am..it's my insecurity and to have it slowly creep back is..awful to my self esteem. I literally have no-one in my life to talk to about it because they are fed up with me. I am fed up with me too.
:/
You have the people on here, I feel I can speak for most of the people on her in saying we know how you feel. Maybe try the caveman regimen since your fed up with the stuff your using and not getting results like you use to. Its were you only wash you face with water and that's it also I suggest letting your face air dry to then close the pores. Doing the caveman regimen can be liberating but its your choice. But anyway, It is 100% normal to be upset about it.. Its so frustrating when you get clear and you feel normal and then one day it comes back. However I encourage you not to le this win. maybe find a new more natural regimen. And take a minute to feel these emotions then let them pass feel them understand them then release them. Take a day off from life and treat yourself pity yourself, recuperate then come back. Maybe cry then promise yourself to never cry about the same thing again. It sucks in the moment of now feeling these emotions, but remember you are not alone and things can and will change. Don't let yourself sink into depression, get out of bed everyday and face your demons.
Do not loose hope ,there is always hope This a wonderful world if you let it be. I don't know if you believe in god but when your loosing hope turn to him, he has hope he sees your pain and is sending angels .
Also I don't believe there is a magical pill that will cure depression,
depression is a black cloud you fall into that you have to fight your way out yes a pill will help, however it is ultimately a choice to get out of bed and try to get back to normal and fight your demons, As much as you don't want to hear it depression is something you have to make a choice to fight. The first step is releasing you have it. Depression does not have to defeat you. look up 10 stepst to fight depression on [Removed] Great article.
I saw on your blog post you said you can not stop crying when you look in the mirror .... so I saw your pictures, you are beautiful no lie stop crying right now take some deep breaths drink a big glass of water. Stop looking in the mirror as hard as it is just avoid them . You are more then what the mirror reflects
One thing you can do right now to help your skin, drink water .
Best of luck, Sorry this curse chose you, Keep your head up, You are not alone, And most importantly do not let acne win.
Have a blessed day.
Thankyou so much for your kind words DreamerHigh. I had to read that again.
I feel right now like it is definitely starting to consume me. Its my moods, they are so bad right now.
Things were alright for a little bit, and then the past few days things have gone AWOL. Its these tiny bumps/texture of my skin that I am struggling with so much.
I'm not religious but have found myself more and more praying to the Lord over the past month, he must be getting sick of me by now praying all the time about the same thing and asking if he can help my skin.
The caveman regimen...I have done this before and did not like it, it did not really help me much. I am kind of at a loss as to what to try now, I still use BP at night but don't know if its actually doing anything, I keep thinking maybe I should ask my doctor for a BP gel instead of a lotion? Also, I am unsure about trying retinoids as I know mentally I will deffo not cope the with IB. No frigging way. Then my mind jumps to Accutane but my doctor does not want to refer me to a derm. Then I think about anti-biotics...but does that mean I would be on them ALL the time?
As you can tell my mind is...running high speed with all these thoughts. I feel alone in this as I don't have anyone in my life that understands it. And then again on this site, although it can be very supportive, I feel like a failure writing things like this - mainly because I try to help people stay positive and to see their Beauty within and right in front of them with acne. But I feel like a bit of a hypocrite as you could understand.
Right now hope it disintegrating fast, same with faith although I do pray. I just really want all these bumps gone.
Meh. :/