I've had acne since I was 12 and I'm turning 15 in a month and a sophomore in high school. Back then I didn't mind my acne much and just used whatever acne washes and moisturizers I saw on the drugstore shelves, which is probably why I have so much now. Walking around school and sitting in classrooms and seeing everyone with such perfect skin brings my self-esteem down alot. Some nights when I'm feeling more down than usual, I'd think of suicidal thoughts, but I'd just push it out of my mind, telling myself that my acne will go away one day and that I shouldn't mind it too much as it's just another one of my many flaws. My family tells me that it's just genetics as most of my cousins suffered from acne as well but cleared up as they age. I'm just hoping that it will, like everyone else, clear up, but I don't know what the future holds and that's what I'm so scared of. I have extremely oily skin and a face, back, and shoulders/arms full of acne. My mom refuses to take me to a dermatologist because we can't afford one. And I don't know, for the past few hours I've been researching and the more I read the more paranoid and scared I get and I just want to cry. I've tried so many brands and it was all a waste of time and money. I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M EVEN TYPING THIS. I JUST NEEDED TO LET IT OUT, I GUESS.
Oh honey, I feel your pain. If researching and thinking about the future makes you more paranoid, stop. There is no point in worrying and stressing about a future that doesn't exist.
You've got yourself stuck in a destructive thought pattern. We all do it. Our brains are hardwired for it. Our brains put our thoughts on autopilot if we let them, and it doesn't care if the thoughts are good or bad, useful or not useful, empowering or destructive. Once we get stuck there, it's hard to get out of the pattern. But it is possible, you just have to consistently try to fight the pattern.
Start catching yourself as much as you can when you start thinking all those crummy, useless (and UNTRUE) thoughts, then literally tell yourself right out loud "STOP!"
I'm quite serious. Tell your brain, "hey, this isn't helping me right now!" Then, distract yourself. Go do something, preferably something physical, or something that requires your mental attention, like a puzzle. Better yet, focus on someone or something else. Do you know anyone, friends, family, even pets, that need attention? That could use your help? That's the number one way to fight thoughts like this. Show yourself you have value - because you do - and take the power away from your autopilot brain.
It's hard in the beginning, because your autopilot brain really wants things to stay the same. It prefers you thinking the same thoughts and doing the same things - but it works against you if those thoughts and things aren't empowering. So, you've got to retrain your brain to work in your favor.
If you do it enough, it becomes easier, you find relief. You train your brain to look for ways OUT of the crummy thoughts, instead of staying in them.
Take care love. You are bright and beautiful. Your acne has nothing to do with that fact.
XO,
Brianne
Oh honey, I feel your pain. If researching and thinking about the future makes you more paranoid, stop. There is no point in worrying and stressing about a future that doesn't exist.
You've got yourself stuck in a destructive thought pattern. We all do it. Our brains are hardwired for it. Our brains put our thoughts on autopilot if we let them, and it doesn't care if the thoughts are good or bad, useful or not useful, empowering or destructive. Once we get stuck there, it's hard to get out of the pattern. But it is possible, you just have to consistently try to fight the pattern.
Start catching yourself as much as you can when you start thinking all those crummy, useless (and UNTRUE) thoughts, then literally tell yourself right out loud "STOP!"
I'm quite serious. Tell your brain, "hey, this isn't helping me right now!" Then, distract yourself. Go do something, preferably something physical, or something that requires your mental attention, like a puzzle. Better yet, focus on someone or something else. Do you know anyone, friends, family, even pets, that need attention? That could use your help? That's the number one way to fight thoughts like this. Show yourself you have value - because you do - and take the power away from your autopilot brain.
It's hard in the beginning, because your autopilot brain really wants things to stay the same. It prefers you thinking the same thoughts and doing the same things - but it works against you if those thoughts and things aren't empowering. So, you've got to retrain your brain to work in your favor.
If you do it enough, it becomes easier, you find relief. You train your brain to look for ways OUT of the crummy thoughts, instead of staying in them.
Take care love. You are bright and beautiful. Your acne has nothing to do with that fact.
XO,
Brianne
Your post is amazing, thank you so much. It truly means a lot. I'm going to try the things you suggested to do if I ever find myself thinking bad thoughts. Thank you again! I hope you have a nice day because you made my day! 
Your post is amazing, thank you so much. It truly means a lot. I'm going to try the things you suggested to do if I ever find myself thinking bad thoughts. Thank you again! I hope you have a nice day because you made my day!
So glad you found it helpful. Feel free to message me any time you need to talk.
Keep this in mind , you are not alone ! There are tons of teenagers who are in the same state of mind as you . You're doing right by letting it all out on here . If you feel suicidal , get on this forum and read other peoples story. Write down how you feel here , as you saw there are a lot of caring people here . I hope you're doing well . Take care and remember chin up and smile
