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Acne Scars Makes Me Obsessed With My Looks

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Hi everyone!

I'm a 23y old student.

(Background story)

I'm a new member to this forum, but by any means far from new on the horrible fight against acne and acne scars, nowadays only the scars. I have been reading hundreds of posts in this forum since 2009, so even though I never contributed I always been here lurking around. Hehe. So in short, my acne starting going really bad in 2008/2009 and I tried everything (a-vitamin creams, differing, different classing products, tetralysal, tretracyklin which is different kinds of antibiotics) before I finally in 2010 ended up on accutane for 5months, which ended my horrible struggle with acne. But instead shifted me on to a even more destructive path, getting rid of my acne scars. In 2011 approx. one year after my completion of accutane I had around 6-7 fraxel laser treatments, not only costing me 8000USD but also gave me even more scars than I had to begin with. After that I had a restylane injections which helped quite a bite, but far from the results I've been longing for.


At this point I have moderate rolling and box scars which is causing me a lot of distress, and since my acne scar treatments have only given me few satisfactory results I have been trying to make everything else in my face perfect since the scars seems to stick around. In other words to compensate for my horrible skin. So I got rid off my braces two years ago and had two teeth whitenings since then (giving me a perfect smile ) also three months ago had I a chin implant, fat injections in my upper eyelid and all of this procedures made me look better since I get more and more compliments regarding my looks.

This fall I will have my second subcision combined with restylane fillers to help elevate the scars, I will also have fillers to enhance my cheekbones. Beside the surgery and treatments I have been really focus of getting to my hair to look perfect which before I really didn't care about, so now I have very soft hair giving me my naturally curling hair back which is nice because that helps covering up my scars. I have also lost a lot of weight, and started using makeup to cover up my dark circles around the eyes. Beside from that I spend a considerate amount of money on rather expensive clothing, but also a lot on what colors of clothes is most flattering for a person with acne scars, which in my case is colors like grey and blue.

I'm basically obsessed with my looks and appearance because I so desperately want to compensate for the awful skin I have, which is not only expensive but extremely time consuming, since I just want to be able to enjoy my youth and time as a college student. Life is just very tough now, because I have really high ambitions in life, I'm currently in law school and have a lot of committments in different organizations and companies and I'm trying to get fluent in two other languages beside english (which is not my native language). Basically I don't have time worrying about my skin!!

Even though I'm privileged in some ways I think all of my time planing my next treatment is keeping me enjoying not only my life but also in end long run will keep me from being happy. Is there anyone out there who can relate to my story? And can share some word of wisdom? Does it get better?

Edited by Benjii91

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I used to be like that, so OCD about everything. If one thing was out of place on my face/body I would think I was worse than frankenstein.

Its a beautiful day man just do what you can about the stuff you can control and everything else will fall into place.

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