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My Acne Story, I Need Some Advice.

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Hi,

someone made (go check it out, i think it's a great idea!). I decided to write down my own story, here is is:

I used to be the uninterested, "do-whatever-you-want-just-leave-me-alone"-kid in high school. I started having acne at 16, and it gradually got worse. This year (I'll be 19 next month) I started going to college and I became a lot more social and interested in people. I never really felt confident because of my skin, but I didn't let it define me.

January this year I finally started accutane, I finished at the start of May. My skin is better, but still not great.

Before the end of the accutane course I never felt depressed about my skin for two reasons:

- There was always 'the next step' : a different medicine.

- My friends accept me the way I am, I had no girlfriend and wasn't interested in anyone. I had all the time in the world to cure my acne.

After the accutane both of these changed, there was no more 'next step' (it doesn't get more extreme than accutane I think), and I made the foolish mistake to fall in love with someone. We met at a party in a dark room (so she didn't really see my skin) and after that we started chatting a lot on facebook. I realized that I liked this girl more than anyone I've ever met (and she also seems to like me), but I also realized that she deserves someone with a better skin. It made me feel really depressed, for the first time I felt the full impact of my skin. To this day I do everything to improve my skin, hoping that one day I could feel confident enough to ask her out, without having to worry about things like "she's going to be grossed out, she will feel uncomfortable, I don't deserve this,...."

People say things like 'If she doesn't like you because of some pimples then she's not worth you', I understand that. My problem is the feeling that she deserves someone better... It's a sad thing, liking someone that much, but not feeling like you deserve it. I wouldn't wish this to my worst enemy.

The acne made me a different person, I don't judge people anymore because of their looks (it's probably the reason why I fell in love for the first time, I really like her for who she is), and I became a lot more understanding towards people with problems in general. However there are also a lot of downsides: I became weaker, lost my confidence. I feel like I'm running around wearing a mask all the time, keeping a smile on my face and my chin held up high, while I just really want to do is lay down and forget about the world for a while. The acne made me a great actor, I can fake any emotion at any give time, it may eventually help me to become a lawyer/politician like i always wanted, if I haven't given up by then...

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Hi,

someone made a topic to post your own acne story (go check it out, i think it's a great idea!). I decided to write down my own story, here is is:

I used to be the uninterested, "do-whatever-you-want-just-leave-me-alone"-kid in high school. I started having acne at 16, and it gradually got worse. This year (I'll be 19 next month) I started going to college and I became a lot more social and interested in people. I never really felt confident because of my skin, but I didn't let it define me.

January this year I finally started accutane, I finished at the start of May. My skin is better, but still not great.

Before the end of the accutane course I never felt depressed about my skin for two reasons:

- There was always 'the next step' : a different medicine.

- My friends accept me the way I am, I had no girlfriend and wasn't interested in anyone. I had all the time in the world to cure my acne.

After the accutane both of these changed, there was no more 'next step' (it doesn't get more extreme than accutane I think), and I made the foolish mistake to fall in love with someone. We met at a party in a dark room (so she didn't really see my skin) and after that we started chatting a lot on facebook. I realized that I liked this girl more than anyone I've ever met (and she also seems to like me), but I also realized that she deserves someone with a better skin. It made me feel really depressed, for the first time I felt the full impact of my skin. To this day I do everything to improve my skin, hoping that one day I could feel confident enough to ask her out, without having to worry about things like "she's going to be grossed out, she will feel uncomfortable, I don't deserve this,...."

People say things like 'If she doesn't like you because of some pimples then she's not worth you', I understand that. My problem is the feeling that she deserves someone better... It's a sad thing, liking someone that much, but not feeling like you deserve it. I wouldn't wish this to my worst enemy.

The acne made me a different person, I don't judge people anymore because of their looks (it's probably the reason why I fell in love for the first time, I really like her for who she is), and I became a lot more understanding towards people with problems in general. However there are also a lot of downsides: I became weaker, lost my confidence. I feel like I'm running around wearing a mask all the time, keeping a smile on my face and my chin held up high, while I just really want to do is lay down and forget about the world for a while. The acne made me a great actor, I can fake any emotion at any give time, it may eventually help me to become a lawyer/politician like i always wanted, if I haven't given up by then...

It was the first time that I actually told the whole story. Telling it made me realize that my problem isn't really the acne, it's that feeling that you're inadequate to others, this constant voice in my head telling me that I'm worth less than someone with normal skin. Does anyone have any experience with this? How do you deal with it?
Acne certainly is an emotional rollercoaster, some days I wake up feeling good about myself and about my skin, other days I just want to disappear. I can't remember the last time i just felt happy for no reason, it became my life goal to experience that feeling again.

I feel you on that. If i was by myself all the time, i wouldn't give to ish's about what i looked like. My anxiety comes in when the realization hits me that other people are going to see and judge me. My friends and family don't care but i do feel the stares from strangers, parents, etc. It's kinda like being an ant under the magnifying glass. I deal with it by not dealing with it. I don't look at myself in the mirror and pretend like everything is a ok. It works for a while until i catch a glimpse of reality and then the illusion that i've built up falls a apart. I pray a lot of refocus my energies unto God and try to be a helper to others. Everytime i get up and go and do my thing, it's a loss for acne and a win for me.

Hope this helps

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