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Sky13

Being A Perfectionist Is Taking Over My Life.

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Sorry I need to get this out but the title says it all Im a perfectionist and its taking over my life. If everything isnt perfect in my head I get so upset. My parents keep telling me I need to get over things but I cant and its especially worse now my acne is back. I cant stop picking and analyzing even though my skin isnt bad at all at the moment because its still got the odd problem Im upset about it.

Im always waiting for everything to be perfect before I do something and when its not I dont do it. I need to get out of this bad habitat because its taking over everything I do :(

Does anyone have any advice?

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I have the same issues. I suffer with rosacea though with minor acne issues. Its got to the point where i wash up with the lights off in the bathroom. I didnt even vote yesterday because i was so embarrassed to walk. Its not even severe anymore- its just i feel so f'ed in the head from the years of shaming myself. Im not even 21- and my life seems so complicated. I have to say i do feel a bit better than i did a year ago. I relied way to much on makeup - everymorning i had to stipple foundation on. Always such a bit7ch to get off and at the end of the day just made my sensitive skin worse because of the scrubbing i did to get the shit off. So i gave it up. I still use a q-tip to dot concealer in 2 pea size places- but thats about it.

It kills me to go places- but when i finally settle into whereever i am or just stuck, my anxiety goes down a bit and i try to get into whatever is infront of me to forget stuff. Like tomorrow im going to the into the city with a friend and thats giving me anxiety right now- and my head is just screaming "cancel the plans!" - but i dont want tooooo *sigh*

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I know how you feel, as a perfectionist you can try to make things perfect or realize that they are out of your control and stop worrying about it.

When it comes to acne the last one is the most difficult one, but it's also the right one. Do not lot the acne stop you from doing things, regret is worse than acne...

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Sky, it sounds to me like you might have some problems with handling stress and anxiety. I can relate because I have been a perfectionist all my life. It's especially hard when you have people telling you to just get over something, especially when it's so ingrained into your thought patterns. It's not a matter of will power, but a matter of reteaching yourself new ways of thinking and replacing healthy habits with the old harmful ones. It's a skill, almost like riding a bike. Perfectionists are very intelligent, very hard working people. As such, we usually accomplish a great deal in what we put our efforts into and do very well academically. But of course, there are drawbacks. Even though we might get good grades or receive praise for our work, we always feel that we could have done better, because we have not achieved complete perfection. This is because, of course, perfection is impossible. So we strive and work harder and stress because we think just maybe we can be the one to finally attain it. For the aforementioned reasons, this still never happens. As a result, I think we turn a great deal of that perfectionism inwards, wondering what's wrong with us that we can't be perfect at everything all the time, not realizing that it's part of being a human being. If we are especially hard on ourselves, we can point this perfectionism at our looks, magnifying every tiny flaw into a deformity. This, unfortunately, is what I did for years. I hated my imperfections so much that I eventually became anorexic. The ultimate quest for perfection. It nearly destroyed me, and I had to spend months in therapy to get better. Perfectionism is a means of control. We think that if we are on top of things all the time and constantly analyzing our flaws that we will somehow be able to figure out a way to fix them. But our flaws are part of who we are, and not something we can fix overnight (I'm speaking mainly about inward flaws here). When we realize we can't fix them, we stress and get anxious. So really, what makes us think we have control is, in fact, making us submit our control of our own happiness to stress and anxiety. We get overwhelmed by them and think that if we could just get things to be perfect, then we would be able to stop stressing and get on with our lives. I think you can probably see the vicious cycle here. I hate to tell you this, but things are never, and will never be perfect. That is life. Instead of trying to change this immutable fact, we must adjust ourselves to the way the world really works. We have to find ways of coping with our stress, and recognize our harmful thought patters that often lead to self deprecation. Instead of agonizing over not being able to control something, we have to make peace with ourselves and understand that things just have to run their course. Picking at your skin is a big part of this, because I do it to. I'm sure you understand rationally that it makes it worse, but when you pick you feel like you are actively doing something to make it go away now instead of waiting for your body to let it heal on its own. Again, you can see the perfectionist's need for control. I hope this helps you understand your situation a bit more, and helps you to realize that the way to be happy is to stop being so hard on yourself. Of course, all these things are easier said than done. You have to find ways to deal with your stress. I suggest excising, which releases endorphins and can help boost your mood considerably, taking yoga classes, taking a walk and noticing the world around you, deep breathing, drinking hot tea, playing with a pet, getting into a sport or activity you are really passionate about, and most importantly, talking to someone you trust about how you feel who you think will be understanding. Never ever ever bottle things up. That is a recipe for disaster. There is no shame in talking to a counselor, either. I see a therapist and it has helped me tremendously, as it has helped countless other people with similar issues. Did you know many therapists are trained to help people struggling with acne? Acne can be very psychologically harmful, and I am a firm believer that it too can become a vicious cycle. That when we worry about it too much it just doesn't seem to go away. I would try your hardest to not think about it and try out the things I mentioned to take your mind off it. If you haven't been to see a dermatologist, go to one. Even if your acne is mild, it will make you feel so much better to know you're actively doing something to get rid of it that isn't picking at your skin. My heart goes out to you, and just know that if you are waiting for things to be perfect before you do anything, you will be waiting your whole life. Or worse, you'll end up like me with an eating disorder. Please know that you are loved and you have people who accept you for you and love everything about you, even the things you hate about yourself. Good luck to you and I wish you a bright and happy future.

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My dermatologist told me I'm a perfectionist said my acne is not tht bad although I have 2 big cyst tht bother the hell out of me. Can it be ocd? Obsessive compulsive disorter I know I'm a skin picker:(

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My dermatologist told me I'm a perfectionist said my acne is not tht bad although I have 2 big cyst tht bother the hell out of me. Can it be ocd? Obsessive compulsive disorter I know I'm a skin picker:(

Everyone i believe that has suffered some bout of acne is or possess some degree of perfectionism driven by a cycle. This becomes an abnormal normal in that persons life as to be paying strict attention to ones skin almost constantly it would seem. Everyone kinda of reaches a point in which this either plateaus or de escelates from exhaustion whether physical or mental. So for treatment is to try to wean the amount of time you obsess, or touch your skin, look at a mirror etc.Do not make comments to your self as your are just promoting a more negative image. Hard to do, but its all to do with setting limits.

This is not OCD by the typical definition. It falls under more of an anxiety disorder perpetuated by ones looks.

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Sounds about right I have gotten alot better about it.and my skin was never not that bad I'm honestly the reason I've scarred my skin no matter what I do my skin fights hard for recovery I guess I'm blessed with good healing skin but not blessed with clear skin:/ :(

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Used to control my life. I was bullied all the time my entire life so I have OCD with my appearance and if I find any flaw I immediately didn't want anyone to see me.. a barrier to prevent myself from being bullied again. Improve everything you have control over and keep moving forward.

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I have this same problem.. I compulsively check a mirror at least fifteen times an hour..probably a lot more, it's really bad. Even when my skin was relatively nice and smooth I refused to leave the house and socialize because I thought I looked awful. It sucks because people assume I'm vain when in reality I have horrible panic attacks and feel sick to my stomach when I go out in fear that people are judging me.

Two years ago I started going out with this guy and at the time I had three noticeable semi deep scars on my face but everything else was nice and smooth, no acne.He told me I should see a dermatologist for my "acne" (apparently he couldnt figure out that scars and acne arent the same thing). It completely devastated me and not long after I started getting cystic pimples here and there, and eventually a TON more scars. So now my acne is gone but my face is completely covered in scarring and I just feel awful about it, even worse when people point it out or try to recommend bullshit products that do nothing for scarring.

Edited by missamua

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I have this same problem.. I compulsively check a mirror at least fifteen times an hour..probably a lot more, it's really bad. Even when my skin was relatively nice and smooth I refused to leave the house and socialize because I thought I looked awful. It sucks because people assume I'm vain when in reality I have horrible panic attacks and feel sick to my stomach when I go out in fear that people are judging me.

Two years ago I started going out with this guy and at the time I had three noticeable semi deep scars on my face but everything else was nice and smooth, no acne.He told me I should see a dermatologist for my "acne" (apparently he couldnt figure out that scars and acne arent the same thing). It completely devastated me and not long after I started getting cystic pimples here and there, and eventually a TON more scars. So now my acne is gone but my face is completely covered in scarring and I just feel awful about it, even worse when people point it out or try to recommend bullshit products that do nothing for scarring.

Any scarring that is moderate to deep is going to require the regrowth of collagen which is not going to be done simply by almost OD'ing on collagen pills, vitamin c orally or topically. You need to work at the surface by promoting the healing cycle. I would say you need to try dermal stamping to the affected areas. There are super amazing guidelines to follow on the these forums, owndoc, or essential day spa.

Some suggest going crazy with topicals, but i would ease into it and not make it complicated. Some of the products suggested are copper peptides to retinoids, to vitamin C serum. All which can be expensive. I used a copper peptide serum from owndoc that was cheap and acted as a moisturizer which was a plus for me, it appeared to work for my mild scars, just not the deeper ones, However, i never derma stamped because i am still not comfortable with poking myself. I had a bad run in with a derma roller once...

Edited by k3tchup

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Hi there, I'm starting out with saline injections for my boxcar scarring, subcision for my deepest scars (rolling and boxcar) and then stamping to resurface of the area. Dermarollers aren't that great because they can create trenches and cause further scarring, which actually happened to me.

Eventually, I'll probably have at least two fraxel treatments to help further tighten the skin. I've been on Tazorac since I was 15 (19 in two days), which I think has helped with collagen, but my skin is just so bad that I doubt it makes much of a difference. There are no areas of healthy skin left on my face except a small patch on my forehead. In contrast, the rest of my skin looks so dead and dull. I've been considering trying copper peptides as I've heard it contributes to improvement with stamping, unfortunately vitamin c serums are so overpriced and many don't contain the correct form that even penetrates into the skin. I've avoided it for that reason. :/

I have this same problem.. I compulsively check a mirror at least fifteen times an hour..probably a lot more, it's really bad. Even when my skin was relatively nice and smooth I refused to leave the house and socialize because I thought I looked awful. It sucks because people assume I'm vain when in reality I have horrible panic attacks and feel sick to my stomach when I go out in fear that people are judging me.

Two years ago I started going out with this guy and at the time I had three noticeable semi deep scars on my face but everything else was nice and smooth, no acne.He told me I should see a dermatologist for my "acne" (apparently he couldnt figure out that scars and acne arent the same thing). It completely devastated me and not long after I started getting cystic pimples here and there, and eventually a TON more scars. So now my acne is gone but my face is completely covered in scarring and I just feel awful about it, even worse when people point it out or try to recommend bullshit products that do nothing for scarring.

Any scarring that is moderate to deep is going to require the regrowth of collagen which is not going to be done simply by almost OD'ing on collagen pills, vitamin c orally or topically. You need to work at the surface by promoting the healing cycle. I would say you need to try dermal stamping to the affected areas. There are super amazing guidelines to follow on the these forums, owndoc, or essential day spa.

Some suggest going crazy with topicals, but i would ease into it and not make it complicated. Some of the products suggested are copper peptides to retinoids, to vitamin C serum. All which can be expensive. I used a copper peptide serum from owndoc that was cheap and acted as a moisturizer which was a plus for me, it appeared to work for my mild scars, just not the deeper ones, However, i never derma stamped because i am still not comfortable with poking myself. I had a bad run in with a derma roller once...

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