For years....about 8 years I have been obsessed with my skin. Maybe it was my way of coping with the stresses of life...when stress came a pimple or two came and I would freak out...get obsessed and go to dermatologists and not leave the house. I wish then I could have realized the negative patterns and thought I was creating for myself because where I am now...I could not imagine. I never had bad skin...a few blemishes I was obsessed with, but a few months ago...I went through a stressful period started going back in the mirror going to doctors....and then began having extreme extreme anxiety. First not going out, then not sleeping. I did several treatments on my skin that led it to a point where now I have cystic acne all over my face and body. I never had cystic acne but my mind...my thoughts, my stress, my obsession created it. Not only that but I have lost 15 pounds...sunken my eyes...and fallen into a deep depression. I do not leave the house, ive ran to emergency rooms and mental emergency rooms from panick attacks....ive created in my mind starting with my skin.
It's so hard because I am a single mom....and don't have much family. I don't want to lose my daughter or my life to this mental and physical illness that is destroying me. I wake up and try to be positive but when I look in the mirror and see what I have done to myself and am still doing it hurts. Not many people understand acne dysmorphia...they think its vanity ....but I became one of those extreme cases where I made my thoughts a reality. I pray I can help myself overcome this...and defeat it...I pray I can find the right help mentally and physically to get rid of the negativity and the acne now that I have all over. Its hard when u don't have any money....you are stuck to government assistance that doesn't really care about your well being...They just want to hand u a pill.
I just needed to share this....because it is crippling me...and I don't know if anyone else can relate....but I just want to get better
hi, firstly don't blame yourself for your acne and there are plenty of people who can relate to you..... i myself have been going through the actual acne problem as well as the mental sickness somewhat related and somewhat not related to my skin.
We have all done stupid things in attempt to get rid of that single pimple fast and quick but it gets worst...its not our fault, we too like rest of the world want to look perfect.. that doesn't more us mentally unstable. Acne is a difficult disease, there is no sure cure and no one exactly knows what's right and what's wrong.
Its not necessary your stressing and thoughts created cystic acne, cause no one knows that exactly causes acne. Different theory applies to different people.
Just follow a acne solution plan, see what works for you and what triggers you, keep a note of things. As far as your dysmorphia goes seek medical help...i know its expensive and others don't really care, but to just need to think about yourself and your daughter...hell how the hospital people think.. just take your medicines forget about those people.
There is nothing like insanity(at least that's what i tell myself). Think before you do anything, ask yourself that will you regret it later? Then all your actions will be sane. Nothing one can do but live on, cause nobody cares about a crazy person, you have to care for yourself.
Best of luck.
Hi Sue..thank you for your response...I am waiting for my medical coverage to come in as I just moved to another state. Once I get it hopefully I can find the right medicine and counseling to overcome this. My other question is ...do you think if you suffer from depression and anxiety....its safe to take Accutane? My dermatologist in New York said I would be fine as well as I am monitored and have a psychiatrist, but when I do research online I am afraid. Still I know it might be the only cure in getting rid of my acne at this point
Hi Sue..thank you for your response...I am waiting for my medical coverage to come in as I just moved to another state. Once I get it hopefully I can find the right medicine and counseling to overcome this. My other question is ...do you think if you suffer from depression and anxiety....its safe to take Accutane? My dermatologist in New York said I would be fine as well as I am monitored and have a psychiatrist, but when I do research online I am afraid. Still I know it might be the only cure in getting rid of my acne at this point
First off I think most people on here can relate to what you said. As so the Accutane question. I really think you'd be ok taking it. Now Im not a doctor so its best to consult with them first of course. Especially if your anxiety and depression is brought on by acne. I too have anxiety not even related to acne and Accutane never affected me only made it better because I had one thing less to worry about.
Hi Sankofa,
I can relate, have anxiety, BDD regarding my acne. I am currently on Accutane and have been for 8 months so you can be on it with these conditions. It might depend on who your dermatologist is though, some might not feel comfortable prescribing it to you (my derm initially didn't want to).
Hi Sue..thank you for your response...I am waiting for my medical coverage to come in as I just moved to another state. Once I get it hopefully I can find the right medicine and counseling to overcome this. My other question is ...do you think if you suffer from depression and anxiety....its safe to take Accutane? My dermatologist in New York said I would be fine as well as I am monitored and have a psychiatrist, but when I do research online I am afraid. Still I know it might be the only cure in getting rid of my acne at this point
A few people - including a cognitive behavior therapist - have suggested to me that I have body (or skin) dysmorphia. But I simply can't accept this diagnosis because I see actual acne when I look in the mirror, and feel dry flaky skin on my face. It's not in my imagination so why would I have BDD?
I guess this is a problem most sufferers face. How do you know whether you have BDD or whether you really are ugly/disgusting/abnormal etc? It's so hard to treat a psychological condition when you're not convinced you really have it, a bit like being an alcoholic and not being able to admit you have a problem.
BDD is classified as being an over the top response to what is considered a minor flaw I guess. So even though you have acne and dry skin, people don't think it's a major flaw and worth getting depressed about. But I know what u mean about not believing it. I do have acne and scars but also BDD because people don't notice or think my skin is bad. But the scars I see are real and to me they are bad.
name="QuietJamie14" post="3439829" timestamp="1404711996"]A few people - including a cognitive behavior therapist - have suggested to me that I have body (or skin) dysmorphia. But I simply can't accept this diagnosis because I see actual acne when I look in the mirror, and feel dry flaky skin on my face. It's not in my imagination so why would I have BDD?
I guess this is a problem most sufferers face. How do you know whether you have BDD or whether you really are ugly/disgusting/abnormal etc? It's so hard to treat a psychological condition when you're not convinced you really have it, a bit like being an alcoholic and not being able to admit you have a problem.
I believe, its difficult to draw a line between obsession and normal concern. I think acne is a serious situation and a person dealing with it has a rough time, i don't see people with persist acne feeling okay about it. Even though many people do not exactly fit into the beauty criteria, but they have no concerns about it because its natural, its how you are .But acne isn't natural, its not a part of who you are, its a skin disease that needs to be cured. All those who don't have it don't get the feel. Many people see to it as "its just acne, everybody has it at some point, you'll grow out of it, just wash your face more", its not like that and only we know it. And every one has it(although i rarely see people with acne, having occasional pimple in our teens doesn't count) doesn't make you feel better. Its like how we don't get other people's problem, even if we are sympathetic, its impossible to feel what they feel. But discarding other peoples concern is some what offensive.
Well, whether you have BDD or not depends upon its influence on your life, if you are getting severely depressed or self destruction, then its a bigger problem. But it is perfectly normal to feel bad about it.
Just my opinion, anyone can disagree..