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Sue7

I Am In An Weird Situation

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hello everyone

There is no exact point in what i am posting, guess just wanted to share.

My acne condition has really been affecting me for a long time, it made me angry, frustrated, depressed, etc. but now i have kind of out grown that stage (or so i guess).

I am actually getting quite emotionally withdrawn these days, don't really feel much. I just got accepted in the university i wanted to go to; good news right? But i am neither happy for the achievement nor enthusiastic/nervous for being away from home in a big city for the first time; nor am i scared to meet new people and adjust in a new place. My best friend seems more excited then i am (literally).

It feels like i have shut myself down to deal with the emotional effects of acne. Don't know how others deal with it. My mother is quite worried about me. Maybe she is justified, or maybe she is just a mother.

Again no serious point in replying to this post, but still do reply; cause it feels good to know someone is listening

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hello everyone

There is no exact point in what i am posting, guess just wanted to share.

My acne condition has really been affecting me for a long time, it made me angry, frustrated, depressed, etc. but now i have kind of out grown that stage (or so i guess).

I am actually getting quite emotionally withdrawn these days, don't really feel much. I just got accepted in the university i wanted to go to; good news right? But i am neither happy for the achievement nor enthusiastic/nervous for being away from home in a big city for the first time; nor am i scared to meet new people and adjust in a new place. My best friend seems more excited then i am (literally).

It feels like i have shut myself down to deal with the emotional effects of acne. Don't know how others deal with it. My mother is quite worried about me. Maybe she is justified, or maybe she is just a mother.

Again no serious point in replying to this post, but still do reply; cause it feels good to know someone is listening

I was in a very similar situation just 4 years ago: my first time living on my own in a new city. Fairly low self-esteem, low confidence, and a pervading nonchalance that pretty much defined my interactions with people at the time. I wouldn't say it was caused entirely by acne, but my acne definitely added to the problem. I looked with extreme suspicion at anything that threatened to take me out of my well-established comfort zone.

I suppose you're only 17~18; you have plenty of time to decide on the kind of lifestyle and social circles that go best with your personality. Leaning toward the extroverted side of the spectrum confers no real long-term advantages; this is actually the present consensus among top researchers in organizational behavior. What this means is that the modern 'leader' is no longer the stereotypical extroverted, outspoken, overly-confident male character. The trend in modern organizations actually favors democratic and compassionate leaders who make decisions by consensus. This basically means that you can be a successful introvert. You don't need to change who you are in order to make it.

You'll still need to venture out of the nest and go out of your comfort zone occasionally, but I think this is likely to happen to you in college anyway. All you have to do is go with the flow for some of the time.

Enjoy your summer and don't worry about it too much

Edited by CamusWasHalfRight

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I feel you. I got my foot in the door which leads to my dream career after all the hard work I endured Now that I've got a good hold of my future, I don't feel happy, nor do I feel over-whelmed by it. I just don't feel motivated enough to care which all stems from this issue I have with my acne blemishes & scars. Regardless, personally, the only way to feel better so that my focus is directed at what should be in priority, is to be as hopeful as can be while trying different approaches to achieve realistic goal(s) combating whatever seems to be desensitizing me. I don't know if that helps but, you're definitely not alone and I'm sure we could all give each other a helping nudge to give that extra bit of hope. We all sure do need it. -_-

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I feel you. I got my foot in the door which leads to my dream career after all the hard work I endured Now that I've got a good hold of my future, I don't feel happy, nor do I feel over-whelmed by it. I just don't feel motivated enough to care which all stems from this issue I have with my acne blemishes & scars. Regardless, personally, the only way to feel better so that my focus is directed at what should be in priority, is to be as hopeful as can be while trying different approaches to achieve realistic goal(s) combating whatever seems to be desensitizing me. I don't know if that helps but, you're definitely not alone and I'm sure we could all give each other a helping nudge to give that extra bit of hope. We all sure do need it. -_-

Well, that definitely helps cause only we know how difficult it is...for others we are just crazy people who research for a month before buying a new face wash ....

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It sounds to be like you are bottling a lot of things up. This is a recipe for disaster. Numbing yourself out to pain can seem like a tempting option when things get very hard, but it doesn't get rid of it. If anything, it's only growing deeper and stronger, and it will come out one day in a very harmful way. That's what happened to me. I internalized my stress so much that I ended up breaking out in terrible cystic acne all over my cheeks that is just now getting better and after two months. Please find someone you trust and who think will be understanding to tell them how you feel. It can be a friend or a parent, or even a counselor. I see a therapist and it has helped me tremendously in dealing with my stress and emotions. Many therapists are actually trained in counseling people who are struggling with acne. What really concerns me is that you say you aren't feeling happy about something you would usually feel happy about. I don't know your entire situation, but this is often times a symptom of people who have depression. I think your mother does have a right to be concerned. Withdrawing from friends is also another sign that something is wrong, and isolation will only make you feel worse and increase your anxiety. Thinking about this more, I would really urge you to see a therapist. Practically every university has a counselor that students can see for free. My heart goes out to you, and I'm sure you have plenty of people who love you very much and just want to see you happy and comfortable with yourself. I don't even know you and I want you to be happy, so please don't hurt yourself by internalizing your emotions. Numbness is one of the worst things you can experience as a human. We are meant to experience a range of different emotions, and if you're numbing yourself out to pain, chances are you're numbing yourself out to happiness as well. Good luck to you, and please do know that you always have options and that things will get better.

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It sounds to be like you are bottling a lot of things up. This is a recipe for disaster. Numbing yourself out to pain can seem like a tempting option when things get very hard, but it doesn't get rid of it. If anything, it's only growing deeper and stronger, and it will come out one day in a very harmful way. That's what happened to me. I internalized my stress so much that I ended up breaking out in terrible cystic acne all over my cheeks that is just now getting better and after two months. Please find someone you trust and who think will be understanding to tell them how you feel. It can be a friend or a parent, or even a counselor. I see a therapist and it has helped me tremendously in dealing with my stress and emotions. Many therapists are actually trained in counseling people who are struggling with acne. What really concerns me is that you say you aren't feeling happy about something you would usually feel happy about. I don't know your entire situation, but this is often times a symptom of people who have depression. I think your mother does have a right to be concerned. Withdrawing from friends is also another sign that something is wrong, and isolation will only make you feel worse and increase your anxiety. Thinking about this more, I would really urge you to see a therapist. Practically every university has a counselor that students can see for free. My heart goes out to you, and I'm sure you have plenty of people who love you very much and just want to see you happy and comfortable with yourself. I don't even know you and I want you to be happy, so please don't hurt yourself by internalizing your emotions. Numbness is one of the worst things you can experience as a human. We are meant to experience a range of different emotions, and if you're numbing yourself out to pain, chances are you're numbing yourself out to happiness as well. Good luck to you, and please do know that you always have options and that things will get better.

Thank you for all your concern and support.Guess I was in depression when i posted it...i have had a long history of depression over years, seen many therapists had even been on meds. Nowadays its better though...depression comes to me in episodes followed by rage but then i finally convince myself to remain positive....(for the hundredth time) again decided to stay positive..feeling better. but will definitely seek medical help if things go wrong...

Thanks for all the support again..never been a big sharer, but people here are so nice, it is pleasantly surprising.

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I was in a very similar situation just 4 years ago: my first time living on my own in a new city. Fairly low self-esteem, low confidence, and a pervading nonchalance that pretty much defined my interactions with people at the time. I wouldn't say it was caused entirely by acne, but my acne definitely added to the problem. I looked with extreme suspicion at anything that threatened to take me out of my well-established comfort zone.

I suppose you're only 17~18; you have plenty of time to decide on the kind of lifestyle and social circles that go best with your personality. Leaning toward the extroverted side of the spectrum confers no real long-term advantages; this is actually the present consensus among top researchers in organizational behavior. What this means is that the modern 'leader' is no longer the stereotypical extroverted, outspoken, overly-confident male character. The trend in modern organizations actually favors democratic and compassionate leaders who make decisions by consensus. This basically means that you can be a successful introvert. You don't need to change who you are in order to make it.

You'll still need to venture out of the nest and go out of your comfort zone occasionally, but I think this is likely to happen to you in college anyway. All you have to do is go with the flow for some of the time.

Enjoy your summer and don't worry about it too much

He wasn't talking about being introverted or extroverted, nor does he say he's afraid of leaving some comfort zone. He has what I have felt at times; a growing apathy towards life.

@Sue7, I have gone through periods of apathy and periods of outright excitement. I think the biggest factor for this excitement can be who I surround myself by. But you say you have a friend who is excited for you, so this may not be the case. When thinking about it, what also gets me excited is the possibility for change and new opportunity. There is a greater sense of excitement for experiencing the unknown when the possibility of new opportunity awaits you. To explain, when I have felt down about my looks, I think "Sure, I can go out, but what will come of it?". There's nothing exciting about running around a new city when you feel like an acne-ridden mess. When I think I look like hot stuff, I'm excited to go out in the world because I believe the world will perceive me better, and good things may happen as a result (making a good first impression when meeting new girls, or boys, etc). Whether or not this is a proper philosophical constitution to live by is not what I'm arguing--just telling you what I think. It's really all about the looking-glass self.

You either have you change how you look or accept it. I have experimented with the latter, but now I tend to opt for the former, and I'm not claiming that's necessarily the right thing to do. You just have to make that decision for yourself.

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I was in a very similar situation just 4 years ago: my first time living on my own in a new city. Fairly low self-esteem, low confidence, and a pervading nonchalance that pretty much defined my interactions with people at the time. I wouldn't say it was caused entirely by acne, but my acne definitely added to the problem. I looked with extreme suspicion at anything that threatened to take me out of my well-established comfort zone.

I suppose you're only 17~18; you have plenty of time to decide on the kind of lifestyle and social circles that go best with your personality. Leaning toward the extroverted side of the spectrum confers no real long-term advantages; this is actually the present consensus among top researchers in organizational behavior. What this means is that the modern 'leader' is no longer the stereotypical extroverted, outspoken, overly-confident male character. The trend in modern organizations actually favors democratic and compassionate leaders who make decisions by consensus. This basically means that you can be a successful introvert. You don't need to change who you are in order to make it.

You'll still need to venture out of the nest and go out of your comfort zone occasionally, but I think this is likely to happen to you in college anyway. All you have to do is go with the flow for some of the time.

Enjoy your summer and don't worry about it too much

He wasn't talking about being introverted or extroverted, nor does he say he's afraid of leaving some comfort zone. He has what I have felt at times; a growing apathy towards life.

@Sue7, I have gone through periods of apathy and periods of outright excitement. I think the biggest factor for this excitement can be who I surround myself by. But you say you have a friend who is excited for you, so this may not be the case. When thinking about it, what also gets me excited is the possibility for change and new opportunity. There is a greater sense of excitement for experiencing the unknown when the possibility of new opportunity awaits you. To explain, when I have felt down about my looks, I think "Sure, I can go out, but what will come of it?". There's nothing exciting about running around a new city when you feel like an acne-ridden mess. When I think I look like hot stuff, I'm excited to go out in the world because I believe the world will perceive me better, and good things may happen as a result (making a good first impression when meeting new girls, or boys, etc). Whether or not this is a proper philosophical constitution to live by is not what I'm arguing--just telling you what I think. It's really all about the looking-glass self.

You either have you change how you look or accept it. I have experimented with the latter, but now I tend to opt for the former, and I'm not claiming that's necessarily the right thing to do. You just have to make that decision for yourself.

Generally speaking, it's the extroverts that get extremely riled up about going to college and messing $hit up. So yeah, it was a bit of an assumption on my part. Good catch, though. lol.

Edited by CamusWasHalfRight

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@Vanbelle.

I agree with the feeling apathy part.Yes, it is apathy,it does feel pointless going out and meeting people and trying to make any sort of effort. Feels like the world is not so interested and welcoming to everyone. People do judge and does not treat everyone equal, this is not restricted to looks.The two paths to change it or accept it, I was told by many to accept it, but it just doesn't feel right....why should I accept it, I didn't do anything wrong..its not like I deserved it...so now I am on the path of changing it. of course, I have made some peace with acne, so save myself from going insane, but will keep on fighting it.

Btw, its a she, not a he.

@CamusWasHalfRight

The introvert part you assumed was right. But the worst part is as I realised I need to change, the acne came. That's just so unfair. But I agree to the point that being an introvert is often misjudged and is not equal to low self-esteem and low confidence, in fact, in my experience, introverts are the most self-contained people and are usually quiet successful.

If one stops socializing and locks himself up due to acne or whatever reason, is not like becoming an introvert all of a sudden, is going into depression.

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