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Blunt Dating Advice For People With Acne

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But that's the thing. I am a confident person. I'm funny and always have a smile on my face. What i experience is LOOKS do matter. No one wants to have children with a monster let's be honest.

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As long as you can be confident about yourself I don't believe that acne is a real problem.

I remember talking to a girl while my skin was really bad and we got to the topic of flaws.

me:"Well everyone has flaws, mine's obviously my skin but once this clears up I'll be fucking perfect" (if you ever use that line, make sure to make clear that you're joking!)

We laughed about it, then she replied "See, that's what I like about you."

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Confidence generally comes through with or without acne (within reasonable tolerances.) Many popular kids in my high school, for example, had bad acne. Many jocks on the football and rugby teams had it. They were still alpha-dicks, they still threw half-eaten apples at unsuspecting 9th graders during lunch period. They still got cream-of-the-crop pussy.

This is especially true for guys: if you give the impression that you're the kind of guy girls want, then GIRLS WILL RUN TO YOU regardless of whether you're spotty or not. Granted, you do have to act like a bit of a dick. So you have a choice: be true to your WoW geek roots and sulk in sadness every Friday night with lotion all over your hands, or become the very antithesis of a decent human being and get all the girls. lol. It's comically simple.

I'm just pissed that it took me 4 years of HS and another 4 years of engineering school to figure this shit out. I'm mostly clear now, but I could have had so much more fun even when I wasn't!

Oh, and another thing: PICK AN ARTSY MAJOR IN UNIVERSITY (if you're a guy.) Pick computer science or engineering if you're a girl; those majors are a sausage fest with tons of thirsty and socially awkward guys. Telling it like it is.. don't hate

This only has validity provided you have the height, facial aesthetics, and low juvenile hairline to pull it off

(I can see in your profile pic that you're blessed with dark hair and a low juvenile hairline in addition to olive skin)

You wont see a guy with a long face, rosacea , a big/broad forehead and male pattern baldness with a cute girl.

It's just like how most "jocks" have a naturally robust frame, tall, with broad shoulders.

You don't have to be a good looking guy to be with a good looking girl. That's the biggest mistake a guy can make with a girl.. other than the stereotypical "nice guy" attitude

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Confidence generally comes through with or without acne (within reasonable tolerances.) Many popular kids in my high school, for example, had bad acne. Many jocks on the football and rugby teams had it. They were still alpha-dicks, they still threw half-eaten apples at unsuspecting 9th graders during lunch period. They still got cream-of-the-crop pussy.

This is especially true for guys: if you give the impression that you're the kind of guy girls want, then GIRLS WILL RUN TO YOU regardless of whether you're spotty or not. Granted, you do have to act like a bit of a dick. So you have a choice: be true to your WoW geek roots and sulk in sadness every Friday night with lotion all over your hands, or become the very antithesis of a decent human being and get all the girls. lol. It's comically simple.

I'm just pissed that it took me 4 years of HS and another 4 years of engineering school to figure this shit out. I'm mostly clear now, but I could have had so much more fun even when I wasn't!

Oh, and another thing: PICK AN ARTSY MAJOR IN UNIVERSITY (if you're a guy.) Pick computer science or engineering if you're a girl; those majors are a sausage fest with tons of thirsty and socially awkward guys. Telling it like it is.. don't hate

This only has validity provided you have the height, facial aesthetics, and low juvenile hairline to pull it off

(I can see in your profile pic that you're blessed with dark hair and a low juvenile hairline in addition to olive skin)

You wont see a guy with a long face, rosacea , a big/broad forehead and male pattern baldness with a cute girl.

It's just like how most "jocks" have a naturally robust frame, tall, with broad shoulders.

You don't have to be a good looking guy to be with a good looking girl. That's the biggest mistake a guy can make with a girl.. other than the stereotypical "nice guy" attitude

So your saying because that is my attitude and what i represent at my job as being typically the "nice guy" "care-taker" personality if you will that this all a mistake. I need to be more of ...a ??? I do not know.. "rough" personal. Shit, i was told once that i'm "cute" when im angry... so i need to be more angry all the time eh?

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You're misunderstanding the "Nice guy" stereotype. I'm not saying you can't be nice, I'm saying "Nice guys" generally have weak behavior such as weak emotional control, seeking approval and putting woman on a pedestal. I'm not saying be an a-hole but when push comes to shove you need to be assertive and know how the dating scene works. The more attractive and confident the woman is, the less she will tolerate weak behavior and putting her on a pedestal. I'm assuming it's a girl that told you "you're cute when you're angry"? She's most likely just saying that in a friendly way because you lost your cool unless I get more back story to that situation. Anyways, this isn't a dating forum and I'm not going to go into a lot of details about this.

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You're misunderstanding the "Nice guy" stereotype. I'm not saying you can't be nice, I'm saying "Nice guys" generally have weak behavior such as weak emotional control, seeking approval and putting woman on a pedestal. I'm not saying be an a-hole but when push comes to shove you need to be assertive and know how the dating scene works. The more attractive and confident the woman is, the less she will tolerate weak behavior and putting her on a pedestal. I'm assuming it's a girl that told you "you're cute when you're angry"? She's most likely just saying that in a friendly way because you lost your cool unless I get more back story to that situation. Anyways, this isn't a dating forum and I'm not going to go into a lot of details about this.

You have a point in that this behavior can be seen or interpret generally as "weak emotional control" from the onlooking person. Seeking approval is somewhat what we all do as humans in many things but it represents its self heavily in dating. Its kinda hard to avoid, but in the same sense should not be used to put a person on a pedestal as you speak and then seek their approval.

Lol..i laugh as i read this because I delegate in my job a lot. I tell people what to do in a sense all the time either from a doctor order or going back to the doc and stating my recommendation and then passing it down. I am assertive when i need to be. Work a couple 12hr shifts in a row and that second nature starts to come out a lot more. I become more assertive: "do this" without a please and sometimes not a thank you in return. I try to "tame the beast" and leave work at work when outside of it. Because my attitude of "just doing" or aggressive, assertive nature is something that reminds me of an old movie quote "break glass only in the event of war" .

To me i think it misrepresents me because outside of that area people do not that im not trying to be dick or that im not angry. People take it personal because of body language, tone of voice, mood, etc. I am more of the nice guy.

But nowhere does that mean to me that im weak im my opinion; i've been through hell more than acne alone. I don't let those emotions flow wildly or speak of them. I do not let people in. I'm a close book with a lock'n key. I speak my mind, am blunt, judgmental, have and display colorful language, believe most people are idiots and society is helpless-i have strong beliefs as you see. But i keep that on the down low to myself most of the time because most of it is negative and its not a way i want to live all the time.

Yes, this girl actually likes how and when im angry. Kinda goes back to how i become more "assertive" and direct. So even though i dont see myself as weak, maybe the attitude still shows it. Actions speak louder than words. I am a strong willed person. Just need to show it i guess

I have all day. Lets talk. I can bore you with nursing knowledge in return.

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In my experience dating and having acne has been more challenging than my Linear Algebra class (which is ridiculously grueling). Feeling insecure is unattractive to men. And I agree that confidence is so significant when dating. Although in my case I suffer terrible anxiety and having acne makes it more severe.

What has worked for me is being honest towards whomever I am seeing about my insecurities towards my blemishes. I don't need to tell the universe that I'm insecure. Everyone has insecurities whether it is pimples, feeling insignificant, being broke, lacking sexual experience or being unintelligent. People have problems. Unfortunately, some of our "bumps in the road" are literally visible on our face. And to be honest all of those insecurities I listed above, I deal with every day.

Fear keeps us back from being the best we can be.

Hey, I like you :)

You can insecure if you want to. I don't mind :)

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Women do prefer nice guys! Now maybe when they are very young its different but when they hit later 20's and 30's all that crap goes out the window! All my single women friends just want a nice guy that will treat them right and be a good husband, father etc. Looks fade so you better have something else to back it up down the road anyway.

Women only want nice beta male idiots once they've slept with all of the exciting men during the years they are good looking. Nice guys pay full price for a used car.

I agree with this, except I would replace "beta male idiot" with "not-so-exciting-and-good-looking-in-girls-eyes male".

Edited by AlexanderJ86
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Confidence is huge. I wasn't very social in early high school & before then. I usually stuck to reading books and being that smart quiet girl. I met my biological dad in my junior year of HS and he really helped me open up better to people (I had gotten better by my sophmore year but he made a huge difference)

He always helps people and strikes up conversation for no apparent reason and he's a really funny person. That kinda rubbed off on me and let me just say... Whoa.

I had been asked out once in middle school & once in 9th grade (guy asked about half the female populance before he got to me... oh heck no!) After opening up more and being more outgoing... oh my goodness I got asked for my number within a week. We started talking and hanging out and I became even more outgoing (the guy was really friendly and happy)

Fast forward a few months, (we never ended up dating) I got winked at, me. This German exchange student I met in my French class looked at me, smiled and winked. I was very confused, like did he wink at me? Is there someone attractive sitting beside me? Nope, just me ... HOLY JDHLGIUKHBGUEBGKFJB I have just been winked at by an attractive German male, quick do something cool *awkward little wave* ehhh... that works. I temporarily forgot how to function properly.

Let me just say, I did not suddenly become more phsically attractive in my face/body. I was just more confident (except with the German, I forgot how to function every time he looked at me).

I have been dating my (first) boyfriend for 9 months and still continue to be hit on subtly (men tend not to blatantly tell you they like you when they know you have a boyfriend, especially when said boyfriend has a black belt)

I'm not saying confidence is the only factor in this, I am conventially attractive besides my acne (tall, slim, pretty, etc. don't get me wrong, I still have faults and insecurities, this is just what I am told)

But I rarely got a second glance before I became more confident.

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I think it's pretty obvious that dating/attraction is subjective. To some people acne is not a big turnoff, to others it is. That's why I dislike these threads of "blunt advice", it doesn't need to be blunt, it's the same for nearly any personality/physical trait. Just like some girls/guys can't stand people with blonde/red hair, those people exist haha. I think the most important part to remember is that we are all the most critical of ourselves, confidence stems from self perception of value, if you don't value yourself and what you have to offer, which isn't just a pretty/acne-free face, then you most likely won't be confident in yourself. Rather than just trying to portray confidence, remind yourself of your good qualities and work on improving the things you do have control over! Much love and luck to you all.

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I think it's pretty obvious that dating/attraction is subjective. To some people acne is not a big turnoff, to others it is. That's why I dislike these threads of "blunt advice", it doesn't need to be blunt, it's the same for nearly any personality/physical trait. Just like some girls/guys can't stand people with blonde/red hair, those people exist haha. I think the most important part to remember is that we are all the most critical of ourselves, confidence stems from self perception of value, if you don't value yourself and what you have to offer, which isn't just a pretty/acne-free face, then you most likely won't be confident in yourself. Rather than just trying to portray confidence, remind yourself of your good qualities and work on improving the things you do have control over! Much love and luck to you all.

Acne is completely different from "nearly any personality/physical" trait. Having blonde hair is a feature that you have, having acne is a symptom of a skin disease. Trust me when I say that NO ONE is attracted to disfiguring cystic acne. It's the truth. It's not just a "preference". Secondly, some of us are hardly the only ones "critical" of ourselves. I get insulted from people all of the time because of how I look. You can be as confident as you want but people will reject you if you look terrible. It's the blunt truth.

That is the behaviour of a narcissistic psychopath.

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I think it's pretty obvious that dating/attraction is subjective. To some people acne is not a big turnoff, to others it is. That's why I dislike these threads of "blunt advice", it doesn't need to be blunt, it's the same for nearly any personality/physical trait. Just like some girls/guys can't stand people with blonde/red hair, those people exist haha. I think the most important part to remember is that we are all the most critical of ourselves, confidence stems from self perception of value, if you don't value yourself and what you have to offer, which isn't just a pretty/acne-free face, then you most likely won't be confident in yourself. Rather than just trying to portray confidence, remind yourself of your good qualities and work on improving the things you do have control over! Much love and luck to you all.

Acne is completely different from "nearly any personality/physical" trait. Having blonde hair is a feature that you have, having acne is a symptom of a skin disease. Trust me when I say that NO ONE is attracted to disfiguring cystic acne. It's the truth. It's not just a "preference". Secondly, some of us are hardly the only ones "critical" of ourselves. I get insulted from people all of the time because of how I look. You can be as confident as you want but people will reject you if you look terrible. It's the blunt truth.

Hokay Acne44, what I meant to say is that hair type and other factors, such as skin health and overall skin condition, are a result of genetics. Yes, acne is a disease, and for many it is incurable, that means managing it may be the only feasible solution, for now. I'm not saying that people are necessarily attracted to cystic acne or the like, just that to some men/women it isn't as off-putting or as big of a factor when determining attraction. Certain people will reject you, but those people may have rejected you even if you had flawless skin. All I was saying was that controlling as many of these variables as you can will overall benefit you, if you remain optimistic and on top of your condition then most likely you will both feel better and look better. Really hope things work out for you, and that your skin improves, at least for your own sake/the sake of those on the internet stupid enough to give an opinion that you deem incorrect.

Edited by Iggs
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