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faceandlms

How Do My Fellow Ugly Guys Cope With Being Undesired?

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Anyone who's tried to get a girl through college like I do knows the drill:

Any girl who isn't fat -- no matter how ugly her face -- automatically thinks shes hot, and deserves a hot guy. An ugly girl with nice body will hold out for a hot guy, even if it means they are single for a long time. They will hold out.

As for the fat girls, well they think they're average-looking (5/10) and deserve average-looking guys.

Ugly guys have no league, bascially. We are the base/ bottom of the barrel.

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well there are alot of shallow girls so you gonna have to adjust or clear your skin

I have a clear face. Only a few whiteheads on my neck.

Also the only way I can get on body acne is starting low dose accutane. When I have time Ill do so.

But with my rosacea/seb derm I don't stand a chance. Right now Im pretty much invisible.

I'd imagine I'd get a lot of "ewwww" if I had full blown acne.

It's just painful being 22 and my prime years already past.

Edited by faceandlms
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work on the things that really matter, as hard as it is...college doesn't last forever

work on getting an education, a good one, do leadership activities and think about that resume-- work towards getting a GREAT job and being a standout when you graduate (trust me getting a good job is going to be what's hot in a few years....trust me)

you'll have more time to focus on that, do something positive- graduate at the top of your class, and have a standout resume

I can assure, those hot guys will be working for you or pumping gas if they don't take their education seriously

focus your attention away from girls to something positive that will pay off...and continue to work on getting your acne under control- but if you feel down, just say screw it, shelve the chick thing and work on something positive!

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stop being ugly then. dress nice, keep clean, smell fresh, fix your teeth eat healthy, work out and most importantly, fix your ugly ass attitude if you have one

Edited by Robertitoo
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OK, so here you are, calling people fat and ugly and wondering why no one wants to date you. Hmmm.

My opinion: when you are the type of person who judges everyone based solely on their looks and has the fucking balls to call girls 'fat' or 'ugly faces with nice bodies' then don't be surprised when everyone around you is a shallow asshole too.

There are plenty of beautiful girls (of all sizes) who date guys with imperfections. It's just that those girls don't date judgmental assholes. So the future looks bleak for you.

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OK, so here you are, calling people fat and ugly and wondering why no one wants to date you. Hmmm.

My opinion: when you are the type of person who judges everyone based solely on their looks and has the fucking balls to call girls 'fat' or 'ugly faces with nice bodies' then don't be surprised when everyone around you is a shallow asshole too.

There are plenty of beautiful girls (of all sizes) who date guys with imperfections. It's just that those girls don't date judgmental assholes. So the future looks bleak for you.

I had a girl call me ugly before to my face. Girls get a sadistic thrill out of mocking guys with ugly faces/bad skin/receding hairlines.

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Focus on other aspects of your life that you're passionate about. Rather that be education, hobbies, working out, entertainment...whatever you're into. Build a life for yourself that you really enjoy even without female companionship. I'll admit that even though I don't get much more active acne since being on the Regimen, I still have scarring and consider myself unattractive as a result of that.

I'll be 100% honest too and say that I hate the way modern dating is set up. Guys are expected to initiate with girls, run the risk of getting rejected, do all the chasing and putting yourself out there, etc etc. Having had experience with most dating sites I think they're pretty much a joke, barely ever get any kind of responses on there if you're a male. Real life is a better option, but even then almost all cute/interesting girls that I meet have boyfriends already and the only girls that find me attractive are the ones that I don't find attractive.

The whole thing is just frustrating as hell so I tend to just not even worry about it much these days...just focus on bettering myself and enjoying my life for me.

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Do you want to be the guy who mopes about the hand he's dealt, gets bent out of shape when he gets rejected, and wastes his life deluding himself that he's missed his chance? Or do you want to be the guy who makes his own rules, shrugs it off when he's slighted, and knows that he's becoming a more complete person every year? A man isn't just a body. A man is what he knows, who he knows, what he's done, and what he's capable of. Women don't define your life. You do.

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Focus on other aspects of your life that you're passionate about. Rather that be education, hobbies, working out, entertainment...whatever you're into. Build a life for yourself that you really enjoy even without female companionship. I'll admit that even though I don't get much more active acne since being on the Regimen, I still have scarring and consider myself unattractive as a result of that.

I'll be 100% honest too and say that I hate the way modern dating is set up. Guys are expected to initiate with girls, run the risk of getting rejected, do all the chasing and putting yourself out there, etc etc. Having had experience with most dating sites I think they're pretty much a joke, barely ever get any kind of responses on there if you're a male. Real life is a better option, but even then almost all cute/interesting girls that I meet have boyfriends already and the only girls that find me attractive are the ones that I don't find attractive.

The whole thing is just frustrating as hell so I tend to just not even worry about it much these days...just focus on bettering myself and enjoying my life for me.

I recall seeing an online experiment on another forum. Some guy used photoshop and morphed the face of a girl with a pig's face. She barely passed as human!

Needless to say, the dating profile (a pig) got dozens of legitimate replies from actual guys per week (for the mostpart these weren't obese , ugly, or severe acne ridden guys. Just average desperate guyss) LOL

Do you want to be the guy who mopes about the hand he's dealt, gets bent out of shape when he gets rejected, and wastes his life deluding himself that he's missed his chance? Or do you want to be the guy who makes his own rules, shrugs it off when he's slighted, and knows that he's becoming a more complete person every year? A man isn't just a body. A man is what he knows, who he knows, what he's done, and what he's capable of. Women don't define your life. You do.

I know. If I could just forget about women I would. Im considering chemical castration.

Edited by faceandlms
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Chemical castration!!!! That is a bit extreme.

I understand the frustration that comes with dating with acne, and I often struggle with my own self esteem, but...... and I don't want to seem harsh or judgemental here..... there always seems to be someone here making completely irrational statements about the opposite sex writing them off because of their appearance, seemingly with the sole intention of arguing with anyone trying to persuade them that actually people aren't that shallow or nasty!

Yes, acne can destroy your self-esteem, and yes, that makes it really hard to view yourself as attractive/desirable, but the thing that will actually put other people off is intense negativity and a complete lack of self confidence. If you spend the rest of your life feeling so intensely low and jaded, chances are you really will realise your worst fears and end up alone. Just try and be positive, do the things you enjoy, be friendly, meet new people and eventually your bound to meet someone who likes you just the way you are.

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Focus on other aspects of your life that you're passionate about. Rather that be education, hobbies, working out, entertainment...whatever you're into. Build a life for yourself that you really enjoy even without female companionship. I'll admit that even though I don't get much more active acne since being on the Regimen, I still have scarring and consider myself unattractive as a result of that.

I'll be 100% honest too and say that I hate the way modern dating is set up. Guys are expected to initiate with girls, run the risk of getting rejected, do all the chasing and putting yourself out there, etc etc. Having had experience with most dating sites I think they're pretty much a joke, barely ever get any kind of responses on there if you're a male. Real life is a better option, but even then almost all cute/interesting girls that I meet have boyfriends already and the only girls that find me attractive are the ones that I don't find attractive.

The whole thing is just frustrating as hell so I tend to just not even worry about it much these days...just focus on bettering myself and enjoying my life for me.

I recall seeing an online experiment on another forum. Some guy used photoshop and morphed the face of a girl with a pig's face. She barely passed as human!

Needless to say, the dating profile (a pig) got dozens of legitimate replies from actual guys per week (for the mostpart these weren't obese , ugly, or severe acne ridden guys. Just average desperate guyss) LOL

>Do you want to be the guy who mopes about the hand he's dealt, gets bent out of shape when he gets rejected, and wastes his life deluding himself that he's missed his chance? Or do you want to be the guy who makes his own rules, shrugs it off when he's slighted, and knows that he's becoming a more complete person every year? A man isn't just a body. A man is what he knows, who he knows, what he's done, and what he's capable of. Women don't define your life. You do.

I know. If I could just forget about women I would. Im considering chemical castration.

Why are you not answering my question?

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Girls won't date you in college if you have severe acne and they won't care about your personality. They can find someone else who has just as good of a personality without being ugly. I don't even see anyone in college with acne.

Yessir.

But most people will just call you bitter or ask you why you hate women if you bring up this point in conversation.

Even though we are just giving an honest account of reality so few people can relate to our suffering.

Edited by faceandlms
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Girls won't date you in college if you have severe acne and they won't care about your personality. They can find someone else who has just as good of a personality without being ugly. I don't even see anyone in college with acne.

Yes, but who is to blame here? The guy with acne or the girls with their superficiality and shallowness?

Alex; it's based of the cruel reality of my experience.

So, it is all just your opinion? That makes the rating system flawed.

Edited by AlexanderJ86
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Girls won't date you in college if you have severe acne and they won't care about your personality. They can find someone else who has just as good of a personality without being ugly. I don't even see anyone in college with acne.

I always be kind of someone else. A girl or boy if they need any help I'll do my best. I never talk about bad things of some else but I think it's the problem. About dating, I won't really pay much attention to it. I just want to have friends, boys or girls. I think personality can be influenced by acne and people can also judge a person with acne.

Edited by panicjack
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Beauty is only subjective to men. Some men like asian girls, others like skinny girls, some like tall girls, short girls, others like BBW girls, even SSBBW, some prefer Latinas, others like Jamaicans, others like Russians, others like Persians etc. Most men dont care about acne if a girl is skinny and hygienic.

The ideal standard for a man is universal: tall, clear olive toned skin, brown/black hair, low nw0 hairline, small forehead, chiseled jaw, compact midface.

A short pink complexioned guy with receding thining blond hair and full-blown acne-rosacea is pretty much screwed. A guys personalities matters, of course, but you need looks to get your foot in the door. Women like to be seen with good looking guys. Social media is proof. Mens genetics determine at least 70% of their "romantic" success during their early 20's (even though romance is a joke)

Edited by faceandlms
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If you don't have some crippling autoimmune disease or are physically deformed, then you passed the genetics test. Social media will always set unrealistic standards. If every man was tall and had those features, then we'd just define a new standard of beauty, and you'd still be complaining.

People with acne think their acne is holding them back. People who are poor think their finances are holding them back. People who are short think their height is holding them back. In reality, nothing is holding you back except your own preconceived notions of what it means to be successful.

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Everyone has some flaw that they believe are holding them back. That was my point. Dating is not an issue of being "flawless", but it's about being able to compensate for or nullify your flaws. In fact, that's pretty much how everything else in life is as well.

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Poor people who don't have computers can go to public libraries to study, etc. That's what I did growing up without technology. Now I'm a very well-off software engineer because I didn't buy into that kind of pessimism, and I can now afford any kind of computer I want.

Personally, I think we should just agree to disagree. You've obviously made up your mind regarding your situation. I don't think I can change your mind.

One thing I'm sure of though, is this: even if you acne goes away, you'll just convince yourself that you're still held back due to some other uncontrollable circumstance. The real issue, I believe, is that you lack the imagination and perseverance to work around these limitations, so you accept them at face value and deny any opinion to the contrary.

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Poor people who don't have computers can go to public libraries to study, etc. That's what I did growing up without technology. Now I'm a very well-off software engineer because I didn't buy into that kind of pessimism, and I can now afford any kind of computer I want.

Personally, I think we should just agree to disagree. You've obviously made up your mind regarding your situation. I don't think I can change your mind.

One thing I'm sure of though, is this: even if you acne goes away, you'll just convince yourself that you're still held back due to some other uncontrollable circumstance. The real issue, I believe, is that you lack the imagination and perseverance to work around these limitations, so you accept them at face value and deny any opinion to the contrary.

I respect you for that but I should note that my attitude towards my career is completely different than towards dating.

I am very confident about the industry I'm in and will likely advance enough become a broker in 4 years time (assuming my progress continues unabated)

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Seriously dude, I think you need to stop reading the PUAHATE.com boards. Ninety percent of the stuff you wrote about is the same kind of circular arguments that those guys obsess about. How many people can conform to those strict measures of beauty that you describe? If that's true than 10% of guys are dating 80% of the girls.

Focusing on cultivating your talents and career AND also taking care of your body and health will maximize your attractiveness. Are some women shallow? Of course, and many guys are equally as shallow. But you know what the ultimate equalizer is? Time..... It's been shown repeatedly that men's overall attractiveness increases while women's attractiveness declines over time. Unfortunately, we still live in a society that measures a woman's worth mostly by her physical appearance, and men can still get away with being less than physically attractive if they are accomplished. So do you want to be an ugly guy (your words) who has nothing else to offer but self-pity, or an ugly guy with a career and game?

Most people are not stunning physical specimens, and if we're lucky to live long enough, we're all old and unattractive by society's standards in the end. By the sound of it, you don't even have a real skin issue (seriously 2 whiteheads?).

Beauty is only subjective to men. Some men like asian girls, others like skinny girls, some like tall girls, short girls, others like BBW girls, even SSBBW, some prefer Latinas, others like Jamaicans, others like Russians, others like Persians etc. Most men dont care about acne if a girl is skinny and hygienic.

The ideal standard for a man is universal: tall, clear olive toned skin, brown/black hair, low nw0 hairline, small forehead, chiseled jaw, compact midface.

A short pink complexioned guy with receding thining blond hair and full-blown acne-rosacea is pretty much screwed. A guys personalities matters, of course, but you need looks to get your foot in the door. Women like to be seen with good looking guys. Social media is proof. Mens genetics determine at least 70% of their "romantic" success during their early 20's (even though romance is a joke)

Edited by blahblah82
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I have rosacea and thinning hair. Game over.

All I can do now is chase money. I value monetary success more than validation from women but it hurts to have a girl toy with my emotions and pretend to be into me yet find me physically repulsive. She scarred me for life.

Im the only single guy in my social circle so Im going to naturally feel like crap when Im off work.

It sucks but I guess mankind is inherently evil so it shouldnt matter that Im single.

Edited by faceandlms
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