I know how you feel. My cheeks have very big pores and weird little skin tone raised bumps.
Have you been on accutane?
Im considering low dose since it will reduce oilyness and the mites that feed of it and create inflamation. Everyone whos tried the low dose thing seems to give raving reviews.
My mom just sent me a picture of me and my brothers when we were younger. It hurts knowing I'll probably never achieve that skin smoothness/whiteness again.
They say my acne is too mild for accutane, they won't even refer me to a dermatologist.
I have a private appointment in six weeks so will see what they say. I'm just so depressed having spots all over my chin all the time I can't even look at myself without wanting to cry
Something that helps me is remembering that no one cares what I look like even a tiny fraction of the amount that I do. Even if people do notice acne or scars, they might think about it for 10 seconds but won't bother to think about it much longer than that.
Edit: I should add that I don't mean that in a self-deprecating way at all. It's just that people are pretty busy thinking about themselves most of the time.
I know other people don't care, they would only care if they were going through it. But the trouble is I care, hugely and it's literally ruining my life. I cry all day and can't sleep and feel sick when I think about how I look. I think my husband has had enough and I'm so scared he is going to leave. I hate acne
I know how you feel. I put makeup on in the morning on especially bad days and leave it on till i go to bed even if im not going out that day and just staying home because i can't stand looking at myself in the mirror, it makes me want to cry. I break down all the time and it's causing all kinds of issues and putting limitations on my life including my marriage. i have been dealing with acne most of my life, it started when I was 10 and ever since then i've never felt fully confident because of it. It also makes me feel sick to my stomach when i think about the scars i have right now, i have a few grouped together on lower part of my cheek that basically form one big red ugly bump. there's no way i can ever go out without makeup, when i do, i always worry about it rubbing off. i have been dealing with the worst breakouts of my life for almost a year now and there's no sign of it getting better. if you ever want to talk or just vent feel free to message me. I understand what you're going through.
Something that helps me is remembering that no one cares what I look like even a tiny fraction of the amount that I do. Even if people do notice acne or scars, they might think about it for 10 seconds but won't bother to think about it much longer than that.
Edit: I should add that I don't mean that in a self-deprecating way at all. It's just that people are pretty busy thinking about themselves most of the time.
Yup, I definitely do that! No one cares as much as you do, and that's a great thing. It is incredibly hard to accept yourself when you look terrible, but then no one else will either. Here's what I usually tell myself:
1. Most of us don't think we're not beautiful because we're always focusing on the negative. Try to look at the bright side sometimes. Your acne is humbling, it makes you less judgmental and a better person in general.
2. We all have problems. And even when we don't, we make them! Be grateful for what you do have and what you can still do. Stop focusing on everything you cannot.
3. You are not alone. Acne is the most common skin condition in the world, and most of us understand what you're going through.
4. Go do something fun and distract yourself! Learn something with that working brain of yours! Start reading more books, spend more time with your loved ones, appreciate other people, dance around! When I'm doing what I love, the last thing I do is worry about my skin.
5. Avoiding mirrors in not a bad thing. If not staring at your skin makes you feel better, do it. You don't have to be superman.
Despite following all of the above, I still have bad days, obviously. But I also have great days and am able to remain optimistic about the future. Enjoy life as much as you can. 
I know how you feel. I put makeup on in the morning on especially bad days and leave it on till i go to bed even if im not going out that
day and just staying home because i can't stand looking at myself in the mirror, it makes me want to cry. I break
down all the time
and it's causing all kinds of issues and putting limitations on my life including my marriage. i have been dealing with acne most of my
life, it started when I was 10 and ever since then i've never felt fully confident because of it. It also makes
me feel sick to my
stomach when i think about the scars i have right now, i have a few grouped together on lower part of my cheek that basically form one big red
ugly bump. there's no way i can ever go out without makeup, when i do, i always worry about it rubbing off. i have been dealing
with the worst breakouts of my life for almost a year now and there's no sign of it getting better. if you ever
want to talk or just
vent feel free to message me. I understand what you're going through.
Thank you and I'm sorry you are suffering too, acne literally takes up all my thinking at the moment. I woke up today to a few small spots around my face in addition to my chin breakout, it's so demoralising as least the rest if my face was clear before and it was just my chin. I know I have to be patient but it seems never ending, if some spots heal they have already been replaced by new ones so you can't tell anyway. Make up doesn't seem to help as you can still see all the lumps.
They say my acne is too mild for accutane, they won't even refer me to a dermatologist.
I have a private appointment in six weeks so will see what they say. I'm just so depressed having spots all over my chin all the time I can't even look at myself without wanting to cry
If your skin is excessively oily like mine from what I've seen you cant go wrong with super low doses.
5-10mg is quite effective in lots of patients. Have you tried going to a walk in clinic to get it? From what I know they more readily prescribe it.
How do you cope knowing that your skin is all bumpy and lumpy? I catch my reflection in car windows, doors and mirrors and I see just how lumpy my skin is and it's heartbreaking. Knowing people are seeing that on my face
Hiya, sorry I can't offer much but I can say I understand and can completely empathise - my acne is pretty mild but I just cannot deal with the cluster of about 40 closed comedones on my chin, they're like tiny and just a red blotch until I smile and it gets even redder and you can see all the white granules. I'm on Differin now and trying out dairy free but seriously thinking about extraction because I can't think of another way.
I am so paranoid as well and spend hours researching cures and treatments if anything to give myself hope. Also obsessively looking at old photos wondering why I didn't appreciate my amazing skin while I had it (I am guessing I have adult acne as throughout my teens my skin was clear, since I was 20/21 I got acne that has gone through spells of being bad/mild. I'm 22 now and it's just the closed comedones on my forehead and chin and the occasional papule on my forehead/cheeks that I cannot deal with.
I'm here if you need support, as I completely understand.
They say my acne is too mild for accutane, they won't even refer me to a dermatologist.
I have a private appointment in six weeks so will see what they say. I'm just so depressed having spots all over my chin all the time I can't even look at myself without wanting to cry
If your skin is excessively oily like mine from what I've seen you cant go wrong with super low doses.
5-10mg is quite effective in lots of patients. Have you tried going to a walk in clinic to get it? From what I know they more readily prescribe it.
I'm not sure of any walk in clinics here in the uk where they would prescribe it 
I am seeing a derm in May and going to try the regimen til at least then to see what happens but have to do everything privately as nhs gp won't refer me. I suffer with severe depression and anxiety over my skin and although I get that distracting myself could help, I'm just so low I find it hard, plus I'm terrified of people seeing my skin at the moment. My acne is mild, the spots in my chin are small but inflamed and all clustered together so that area looks a huge mess. The rest of my face is ok I rarely get spots elsewhere but at the moment I have a couple on my forehead I'm hoping that with the regimen and going back on dianette it might clear I'm just highly impatient
What's the point in worrying about something you can't control?
You shouldn't be worried. No one and I mean no one should judge someone off acne. It would be different if you sat home all day eating greasy food, and gaming but even then you shouldn't judge someone off that.
Who cares? If you let it bother you people will be able to tell and that's not good
I cope by keeping busy and being productive. I remind myself it's vain to worry about my skin and I do the best I can to stay healthy and keep the acne and scars at bay. It's not productive to beat ourselves up over it. I usually focus my energy on helping people, improving my health (gym, yoga, walking), friends, writing etc. That way I don't have time to look in the mirror and scrutinize.
So am really struggling to cope even with all your great advice, it's like acne paralyses me. I've stopped exercising as much and am not really eating properly. I've tried just carrying on and work distracts me a bit but acne is always at the back of my mind. Having spots popping up almost daily is really wearing me down. I have a party on Saturday and really don't want to go, my skin holds me back so much...sorry to be so negative but skin wise there is just nothing positive going on. Any advice regarding diet and exercise would be fab too
I second the advice above to:
- avoid mirrors
- keep busy
- work out/eat better
- stress less
I know exactly how you feel as i am in the midst of an acne relapse and my face is deteriorating at a rapid level. Keep your head up though and remember you are never alone in this struggle. Give your regimen time to work and keep in mind that whether or not you stress, the outcome will be the same so you might as well stress less. Your husband married you because he loves you so have a little faith that no matter what troubles you are going through, he'll be there for you
Good Luck hun and keep up the good fight
I second the advice above to:
- avoid mirrors
- keep busy
- work out/eat better
- stress less
I know exactly how you feel as i am in the midst of an acne relapse and my face is deteriorating at a rapid level. Keep
your head up though and remember you are never alone in this struggle. Give your regimen time to work and keep in
mind that whether or not you stress, the outcome will be the same so you might as well stress less. Your husband married you because he loves you so have a little faith that no matter what troubles you are going through, he'll be there for you
Good Luck hun and keep up the good fight
Thank you for your support, I suffer from severe depression and anxiety soley about my skin. When my skin was clear (or only having a pmt spot) I was a normal, happy, outgoing person. Over the last year I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety and bdd. I can't bear my skin and have panic attacks about it. I find it hard to step out the door and find the school run and work all that I can manage and even then it's super hard.
How do you cope knowing that your skin is all bumpy and lumpy? I catch my reflection in car windows, doors and mirrors and I see just how lumpy my skin is and it's heartbreaking. Knowing people are seeing that on my face
I don't mind seeing it on your face. I will never mind it.
It's so funny how I am a completely different person when my skin is looking better...it's like I have split personalities, dies anyone else find this is the case?
yes, im so much more talkative on a good skin day!
i usually try to go with the "i dont care" attitude. i still wear makeup, but its just how my face is and if someones going to give me **** for something i cant control that just says so much about their qualities, not mine
It's so funny how I am a completely different person when my skin is looking better...it's like I have split personalities, dies anyone else find this is the case?
I am the same way. When i am consistently acne free, i can and i do do everything. When i'm in the midst of acne hell, i become a turtle in my shell. It's a bad habit to have but acne is definitely a disease of the mind as much as it is a disease of the skin. There was a member on here , treat acne, that was awesome about not letting her acne depress her. Her zeal for life definitely was an inspiration to me. You should check out some of her posts.
http://www.acne.org/messageboard/topic/333646-milk-free-diet-cleared-my-cystic-acne-and/ (pay attention to her signature)