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[Closed] Have You Ever Bullied Someone With Acne After You Got Clear?

 
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(@bubbles55)

Posted : 03/04/2014 10:42 pm

I have. I'm not sure what made me do this, it must stem from my psychological problems, but back in December I made a comment about a girls skin out loud in public to deliberately try to make her feel like sh*t.

My skin was very, very clear at the time (clearest in my life) and when I saw a girl with very severe acne getting her makeup done at a Clinique counter I walked by her and said "you have horrible skin" - I wanted to make her cry, I wanted to make her feel terrible as other people have done to me in the past. I wanted for once to have the power. It's a feeling that I can't explain, and yes it was very evil.

I want to know if anyone else has ever done this.

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(@michelle-reece)

Posted : 03/04/2014 10:50 pm

Wow. Powerful question.

I'm feeling ambivalent whether to "like" your post/question.

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(@bubbles55)

Posted : 03/04/2014 11:06 pm

Wow. Powerful question.

I'm feeling ambivalent whether to "like" your post/question.

It's a terrible question, and a terrible action. I can understand your ambivalence and no you don't have to like it (I don't either). I'm just really messed up.

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(@glyde)

Posted : 03/05/2014 1:49 am

Ouch, that comment would have destroyed me, not gonna lie.

No, I haven't, but I understand the mechanism behind the train of thought that may have lead you to do that. You felt like you sort of earned it. Like your clear skin was a sort of a badge of authority. I have felt that way in other aspects of my life, like when I get good at something after being ridiculed for being bad at it for so long, just not skin problems or things that many people pretty much can't help no matter how hard they try.

I'll just say I'm glad I wasn't in your general vicinity that day and be done with it. It was wrong (and at least you know it), but I understand why you did it and envisioning myself doing something similar isn't at all impossible.

Edit: I see you're also the one who posted the thread about being uncomfortable look at other people's acne. I think you've developed quite the phobia of acne and tend to project it into other people occasionally. Please try not to express it outwardly too much. For some people who are extremely unstable, bullying can really make a difference between life and death. I'm not trying to be preachy or mean, but I've been in the position that girl you made the comment about was in before, and it's really awful.

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(@bubbles55)

Posted : 03/05/2014 2:11 am

Ouch, that comment would have destroyed me, not gonna lie.

No, I haven't, but I understand the mechanism behind the train of thought that may have lead you to do that. You felt like you sort of earned it. Like your clear skin was a sort of a badge of authority. I have felt that way in other aspects of my life, like when I get good at something after being ridiculed for being bad at it for so long, just not skin problems or things that many people pretty much can't help no matter how hard they try.

I'll just say I'm glad I wasn't in your general vicinity that day and be done with it. It was wrong (and at least you know it), but I understand why you did it and envisioning myself doing something similar isn't at all impossible.

Yes. It comes from a feeling of entitlement and also self hatred. I honestly can't even look at really bad acne out in public because it makes me feel like I'm looking at my old face.. if that makes sense. I can't take it! and I'm afraid that it will return so I feel anger towards the person and their skin condition because it reminds me of myself, my own suffering ect.

I went through a similar thing when I lost weight as well. I had the same mentality, I HATED seeing overweight people in public because it reminded me of my former body and I was afraid to relapse into that state.

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(@glyde)

Posted : 03/05/2014 2:13 am

Ouch, that comment would have destroyed me, not gonna lie.

No, I haven't, but I understand the mechanism behind the train of thought that may have lead you to do that. You felt like you sort of earned it. Like your clear skin was a sort of a badge of authority. I have felt that way in other aspects of my life, like when I get good at something after being ridiculed for being bad at it for so long, just not skin problems or things that many people pretty much can't help no matter how hard they try.

I'll just say I'm glad I wasn't in your general vicinity that day and be done with it. It was wrong (and at least you know it), but I understand why you did it and envisioning myself doing something similar isn't at all impossible.

Yes. It comes from a feeling of entitlement and also self hatred. I honestly can't even look at really bad acne out in public because it makes me feel like I'm looking at my old face.. if that makes sense. I can't take it! and I'm afraid that it will come return so I feel anger towards the person and their skin condition because it reminds me of myself, my own suffering ect.

I went through a similar thing when I lost weight as well. I had the same mentality, I HATED seeing overweight people in public because it reminded me of my former body and I was afraid to relapse into that state.

That makes a lot of sense! I don't personally experience this. For me, it's more like pity for that person, with a hint of self-appreciation, which is just as wrong. I can get really mean when I'm feeling the most self-conscious (and, subsequently, self-loathing), so I know where you're coming from here, it sucks, and it can end up really hurting not just strangers, but people I'm close to. :(

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39
(@michelle-reece)

Posted : 03/05/2014 2:58 am

Ouch, that comment would have destroyed me, not gonna lie.

No, I haven't, but I understand the mechanism behind the train of thought that may have lead you to do that. You felt like you sort of earned it. Like your clear skin was a sort of a badge of authority. I have felt that way in other aspects of my life, like when I get good at something after being ridiculed for being bad at it for so long, just not skin problems or things that many people pretty much can't help no matter how hard they try.

I'll just say I'm glad I wasn't in your general vicinity that day and be done with it. It was wrong (and at least you know it), but I understand why you did it and envisioning myself doing something similar isn't at all impossible.

Yes. It comes from a feeling of entitlement and also self hatred. I honestly can't even look at really bad acne out in public because it makes me feel like I'm looking at my old face.. if that makes sense. I can't take it! and I'm afraid that it will return so I feel anger towards the person and their skin condition because it reminds me of myself, my own suffering ect.

I went through a similar thing when I lost weight as well. I had the same mentality, I HATED seeing overweight people in public because it reminded me of my former body and I was afraid to relapse into that state.

The desire for revenge is, sadly, human. We also have our limits on empathy, and it's difficult to "train" yourself to become more empathetic. One's extent on empathy is due to the personality, and significant life events.

It's far, far better to have a bout of revenge, know what you did was wrong, feel guilty and then try to make amends than not at all. It seems too many people don't try, but then again I could be biased on this respect.

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7
(@solaire)

Posted : 03/05/2014 5:14 am

She may have had "horrible skin" but you're a horrible person. You know what it's like to be hurt because of the condition of your face and you still went out of your way to hurt that girls feelings. I really don't care what your reason is for doing it, it was wrong. There's no justification for your action. It seems like you still have problems and your "fixing" of these problems is by hurting other people. Get over yourself and stop being selfish. You think what you did represents power? No. You're just a coward and jerk.

Valerie44 liked
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72
(@alexanderj86)

Posted : 03/05/2014 8:19 am

I have. I'm not sure what made me do this, it must stem from my psychological problems, but back in December I made a comment about a girls skin out loud in public to deliberately try to make her feel like sh*t.

My skin was very, very clear at the time (clearest in my life) and when I saw a girl with very severe acne getting her makeup done at a Clinique counter I walked by her and said "you have horrible skin" - I wanted to make her cry, I wanted to make her feel terrible as other people have done to me in the past. I wanted for once to have the power. It's a feeling that I can't explain, and yes it was very evil.

I want to know if anyone else has ever done this.

Why do you post here instead of apologizing to that girl?

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54
(@valerie44)

Posted : 03/05/2014 8:30 am

All I have to say to the poster is SHAME ON YOU!!! Just remember that you have finally been blessed with clear skin and at ANY given moment your so called clear skin can be easily taken away! You need to seriously take a good look deep inside yourself and figure out whats really going on because bullying is NOT THE ANSWER!!!! If I was that girl you said that horrible thing to I would of hauled off and kicked your ass right there in that store!!! Seek help and stop putting all your issues on others!!!!

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2
(@apple-blossom)

Posted : 03/05/2014 10:05 am

I'm sure that girl would rather have acne than be like you.

Valerie44 liked
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(@danthenewworld)

Posted : 03/05/2014 11:37 am

i think it's a sort of self discovery. being dominated and abused leaves people in a shock, and in some way they have to reiterate and understand better what happened.

porn videos are very much employed for this, but guys go too far and we see all kinds of weird stuff pretty soon.

i don't view this hierarchical structure as belonging to humans but rather to animals. the employer is the boss of the man who feels the need to be the boss of someone, like wife or child, and the poor child probably wants a pet.

a vicious circle. so.. capitalism doesn't help. ups .lol.

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(@monicalovesben)

Posted : 03/05/2014 12:03 pm

What a rude comment! And no. I have never

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4
(@bubbles55)

Posted : 03/05/2014 1:23 pm

 

I'm getting way too much hate for this. I was only sharing my experience, there is no need to judge so harshly.

 

 

I have. I'm not sure what made me do this, it must stem from my psychological problems, but back in December I made a comment about a girls skin out loud in public to deliberately try to make her feel like sh*t.

My skin was very, very clear at the time (clearest in my life) and when I saw a girl with very severe acne getting her makeup done at a Clinique counter I walked by her and said "you have horrible skin" - I wanted to make her cry, I wanted to make her feel terrible as other people have done to me in the past. I wanted for once to have the power. It's a feeling that I can't explain, and yes it was very evil.

I want to know if anyone else has ever done this.

Why do you post here instead of apologizing to that girl?

MemberMember
2
(@apple-blossom)

Posted : 03/05/2014 1:29 pm

I don't believe for a second that you didn't know exactly what kind of responses you would get.

Also, you already stated above why you do it. You hate yourself.

Valerie44 liked
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4
(@bubbles55)

Posted : 03/05/2014 1:42 pm

I don't believe for a second that you didn't know exactly what kind of responses you would get.

Also, you already stated above why you do it. You hate yourself.

It's still overly hostile and no I wasn't expecting it. Show a fellow canuck some respect, eh?

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(@blissfully-unaware)

Posted : 03/05/2014 2:03 pm

What right do you have to judge others when you don't know them? That comment you made to that girl could really have affected her, it could still be affecting her, how would you like it if when your skin was bad some total stranger walked by and said that?

You said yourself it was evil and yet you weren't expecting hate? I hope you feel a little ashamed of yourself now that nobody has agreed with you on here. This is an acne forum after all, where people are afraid to look people in the eyes most days because they are afraid of encountering someone like you.

Valerie44 liked
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1
(@danthenewworld)

Posted : 03/05/2014 2:04 pm

i think it's a sort of self discovery. being dominated and abused leaves people in a shock, and in some way they have to reiterate and understand better what happened.

porn videos are very much employed for this, but guys go too far and we see all kinds of weird stuff pretty soon.

i don't view this hierarchical structure as belonging to humans but rather to animals. the employer is the boss of the man who feels the need to be the boss of someone, like wife or child, and the poor child probably wants a pet.

a vicious circle. so.. capitalism doesn't help. ups .lol.

my comment seems contradictory.. i'll try to expand a little (for myself. but you can go ahead and read )

so the reiteration that i mention for better understandment of what happened (what was in the mind of the agressor, and what behaviour the victim had&should have had) can have 1.succes or 2.failure.

1.when it works and the victim understands the mecanism of the agression, he becomes wise (and he accepts /this implies a sort of resignment for what hapened) and promotes & prevents such agressions to other people.

2.if he doesn't understand, then he feels paranoic. so > vulnerable, so > agressive.

with this out of the way, i can try and explain that the OP did not have success in understanding her felt agression. so she just saw a weaker animal which she knew she had power over. just like the kid who got beaten a lot form his father, when he becomes a father knows that he can "show his domination" by beating his own son.

the vulnerability of the victim not only indicates his inferiority (a person which you can dominate), but because his vulnerability is the same which the agressor had (they both had acne in the OP case) the agressor feels targeted because of his memories and this (paranoia/he doesn't want to be reminded of that unsolved vulnerability) is the spark for the agression.

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54
(@valerie44)

Posted : 03/05/2014 2:20 pm

There's never a reason to justify being rude and hurtful towards another human being EVER! It doesn't matter if you have acne or are a top model with porcelain skin, in my eyes that makes you ugly. If you cant have compassion for others then you better hope and pray you never have acne again because karma has a good way of turning its self back around !

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(@bubbles55)

Posted : 03/05/2014 2:30 pm

There's never a reason to justify being rude and hurtful towards another human being EVER! It doesn't matter if you have acne or are a top model with porcelain skin, in my eyes that makes you ugly. If you cant have compassion for others then you better hope and pray you never have acne again because karma has a good way of turning its self back around !

It's just pimples, pop them and get on with your life. **edit** there are much worse things to have than acne. This is just a trivial skin disease in the grand scheme of things no matter how much it affects your life. I live with a chronic illness and I've already had my fair share of "bad karma" thank you very much.

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54
(@valerie44)

Posted : 03/05/2014 3:45 pm

Keep up the bad attitude towards people with acne or being fat or anything thing else you might want to make fun of and you will always have that karma on you!!!!!!! Negative thoughts and actions will ALWAYS give you just that in life negative thoughts and actions upon you.

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5
(@mm1990)

Posted : 03/05/2014 3:49 pm

May I ask why you posted this in the first place? You seemed somewhat sorry in the original post, but now you are coming across very defensive over admittedly atrocious behavior.

 

Acne may not be a terminal illness, but insecurity over physical appearance is a disease of our culture. If you don't want to learn from your bouts of cruelty, fine, but don't pretend to not understand the severity of both your actions and the subsequent response.

 

I suspect you knew this is the response you'd receive. People who loathe themselves seek punishment, right?

 

You may not be capable of empathy, but surely you can try your hand at introspection. What you find may shock you .

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4
(@bubbles55)

Posted : 03/05/2014 4:02 pm

May I ask why you posted this in the first place? You seemed somewhat sorry in the original post, but now you are coming across very defensive over admittedly atrocious behavior.

Acne may not be a terminal illness, but insecurity over physical appearance is a disease of our culture. If you don't want to learn from your bouts of cruelty, fine, but don't pretend to not understand the severity of both your actions and the subsequent response.

I suspect you knew this is the response you'd receive. People who loathe themselves seek punishment, right?

You may not be capable of empathy, but surely you can try your hand at introspection. What you find may shock you .

I have the empathy in that I know how they feel, but I also know how vulnerable they are (and I once was) and this other part of me is tempted to take advantage of that. It gives me almost a rush to put the other person down. I know exactly where to draw the knife sor to speak because I have been in that exact tortured insecure mentality myself and I now have the opportunity to play the enemy and acquire power.

Comments I know deeply upset people with acne:

How dare you let your face get like that! go to a dermatologist

Have you tried Proactiv? it will get rid of your acne in a week or less.

Your diet must be terrible.

You really need to have better hygiene.

Your skin looks destoyed

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(@claudiazwemmen30)

Posted : 03/05/2014 4:16 pm

You have some serious issues!

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(@apple-blossom)

Posted : 03/05/2014 4:16 pm

I get the sense this post was created just to get a rise out of people.