I thought I would share some of my experiences and feelings towards acne with you guys, I would greatly appreciate any comments or hear about your experiences as well!

I had clear skin throughout the first 18 years of my life. I had great skin that I never had to "cleanse" or apply any sort of topical to. I never once thought about having acne, it was just not a possibility in my mind back then. I took my clear skin for granted, but who doesn't when you're so young? I'm happy that I could enjoy my school years not worrying about how I looked or what sort of acne medication I was using. I do admit I used my looks for my own advantages sometimes even though I hated that people would only judge me on how I looked and not who I was on the inside. Contradictory... Right? Well once I graduated high school that all changed....

Right after high school I left home to pursue my career. I moved to a different state and was experiencing a lot of different changes. With those changes obviously came a lot of stress and hormones. Climate change may have also played a role in it. Maybe my body wasn't done maturing (hormones). It could have been a lot of things that factored into me having acne. I started to just have mild acne. Nothing to bad but I picked my skin way too much. Which of course made it worse than it really was and left me with scars. I started using clearasil and realized it is complete garbage after about three months of use. I then switched to the proactiv system. I was under three of their systems for about 1 and half years. In the end it only dried out my skin severely, ruined my pores, and of course left me short of a few hundred dollars. So up to this point I've been dealing with dry red skin, acne scars, and acne that fluctuates between mild and almost severe. So I thought to myself... I need to go natural, stop using so many chemicals on my face. Well I used Lush's skin care products for about 4 months and it just made my face worse. So in a fit of fury and anger I said I'm done with all this crap, I'm not going to wash my face anymore. Just use water when I shave and when I'm in the shower. And my face went crazy... But good crazy. I of course went into a state of purging and A LOT of dry flakey skin. I used manuka honey for a few weeks as a mask to see if it would help with things but it didn't do anything at all really but make my face sticky. So I stuck to not giving a F about my face for close to three months. And things improved a lot. My skin was regaining balance and things were looking better. But I was still getting some acne. And with my notorious skin picking I was still ruining my face. So I tried one last thing. I started taking these daily:

Hair, Skin, and Nails

Super Saw Palmetto

D3 800IU

And after about two months things are looking great. I'm not 100% clear. Maybe 93.278%. But I have my confidence back. I can look in the mirror and be happy. I have the ability to look someone in the eyes when I'm talking to them. I still have a lot to recover from though. My pores are still damaged, some may be ruined for a long time. I still deal with oily skin and I have a lot of scars that will take awhile to fade. If I were to guess it's going to take 2-3 years for my face to fully heal from all the damage I've done to it and for things to just get "situated". I have hope for once and I can say I'm felling a kind of happiness that I haven't felt in a long time. However there's still some other things to get over....

Acne is more than just a physical thing. Acne can damage you mentally as well. It can destroy your hope and happiness. Devastate your self confidence. Cause fits of anxiety because you're so damned worried about how your face will look tomorrow or when your next breakout will be. It can ruin your mood for the entire week. It turns your life upside and just laughs in your face and is a ruthless piece of s***. I didn't have the worse case of acne, and I've only dealt with it for a fraction of time of what others have dealt with. But I felt the mental and emotional stress of acne. I hated what I saw in the mirror. I was angry that there was this problem that I couldn't fix. I was frustrated that I was trying all of these "miracle" products which didn't do anything but make things worse. I grew tired of hiding my face from the public. I was emotionally exhausted and just wanted to lay in bed all day. I no longer wanted to wait for a "good" week so I could actually go out and do things I wanted. I hate that I still freak out to this day and stand in front of the mirror and skin pick for more than hour making myself look like crap when things weren't even bad but I get so worked up over the littlest things and just start obsessing. I still wake up in the middle of the night and have to look in the mirror to reassure myself that my skin is looking so much better than before and that I am on the road of clear skin. I still wake up every morning and run my fingers against my face to make sure there are no new bumps. I still wonder if things will just fall apart one day...

But there are some good things that come from acne. I've been deeply humbled by the situation. I've learned looks are just looks. That even though I looked like crap on the outside I can still be a functioning human being and do things that everybody else can. I've learned that when you have almost no hope left that there is still a fighting chance and you just have to keep on trying. I learned that I shouldn't take life for granted or the things I'm given. That I really need to give things my all because you never know what will happen tomorrow. I've learned how to be happy with myself. I've gained a new form of confidence. I learned to love myself and be happy of what I see in the mirror each day.

I hope that I can keep the lessons I've learned from acne and use them throughout my life. I hope I don't go down the same road I did before and become conceited and shallow when it comes to looks. I hope I'll always be grateful for how my skin is now. And most of all.... I hope that I never have to go through this again.

Thank you for reading.