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Apologies that there's no real point to this thread, but I just have to vent. There is nowhere else where I can say this, and I've had enough.

This is the worst I have ever felt, and I've had some pretty s***y days. This disease may not be THE biggest problem in my life, but now that I think about it is responcible in one way or another for everything that has gone wrong for me. Maybe if it hadn't destoryed all my confidence back in the earlier grades in school I would have some friends, gain some social skills. Maybe I wouldn't be such a complete outsider now. Maybe, just maybe I could even have a girlfirend. But nooo, that would be a crime against humanity wouldn't it ?? Perhaps I wouldn't feel like a complete f***-up every day in my life if I could look at the mirror and not stare in shocked horror every time I do so. Many other things as well. Without this disease my life wouldn't be perfect, not by any means, but it would be millions of times better. Maybe it would even be bearable.

I know I'm not the only one with unfair problems caused by nature, and people live with them every day, and I realize just how pathetic I'm being posting this, but what pisses me off is that this disease is so....pointless yet horrible at the same time. It's not life-threatening, it doesn't cause you any serious problems (damaged organs etc.), so alot of people without it don't take it seriously and thing it's a big joke. All those stupid idiotic commericals about acne, made to look like a minor discomfort that goes away easily. All those igorant b***ards that think they know everything. Poor diet, hygene, parents, etc, etc, (for me anyway) has never made the slightest difference. Nothing you take works. It's like I was one of the people who were simply chosen to be like this, no matter what happens in life.

With all my other problems, this disease is just pushing me off the edge, the final straw. I can't live this miserable existance anymore. I want to end it. And there seems to be only one way out.............................I'd like to keep on fighting, I really would, but there comes a point where enough is enough. I think i've reached my dead end.

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Sweetheart, suicide is never the answer. I know what you're going through, I have spent days at a time so depressed about my skin that I wouldn't leave the house. I've had people ask me, "What happened to your face?", "Do you have poison ivy?" etc. many a time. I'm a fourteen year old girl! I just want the life that one is supposed to have- friends, boyfriends, parties, sleepovers- that sort of thing, even if I realize now that it's superficial. Instead, I can't leave the house without pounds of makeup on. Since I switched schools, I have about zero friends, with one of them calling about once a month. I know how much this hurts. There are days where I just don't see the point in going on. But, you just have to keep fighting. There ARE ways you can improve your quality of life!

1) Get close to God. It has helped me so much. Knowing that He cares and that He's watching over me has helped. To Him, we aren't faces or names or ethnicities, but souls. And He loves us all very much, and doesn't want to see us come to harm.

2)An anti-depressant. No, it won't cure your acne, but I think it has helped my overall mood improve.

3) A pet. Since I got my cat, I feel like I have a companion and some purpose in life.

4) Have you ever been on Accutane? If your skin is effecting your life that much, look into it. I'll be going on it soon as well.

5) Always remember that there are others going through the same thing you are, even when it doesn't appear to be that way! There are people who have had to stuggle with far worse things- and have come through it.


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Have you tried all alternatives yet? The logic goes that if you were going to off yourself due to acne, then you at least owe it to yourself to try all of them first... right? smile.gif

Once you're dead, that's it dude, there's no coming back, no getting over acne, and no sharing your life with a woman/man at some point. It's final. The End. Finnito. Doesn't seem like a good trade does it? I understand where you are coming from, this condition (along with everything else we have to put up with) can seem like a great burden, and incredibly unfair to boot. But one must go on because I believe that once we are gone, we leave only dust behind.

In a couple weeks I'll be making my final decision to go on Accutane or not, if that doesn't work then I'll have no choice but to live with it but I am also learning to live with it at this point, by maintaining my perspective.

To get a little more practical, look at it this way: There are many other physical afflications out there, lost limbs, disfigurement (either congenital or otherwise), psoriasis, obesity and many others. I've seen pictures of people with their entire bodies covered with psoriasis, with only their hands and faces somewhat spared. I felt for them, completely and totally, yet they seemed to be dealing with it. These people still find partners, or a way to conquer their affliction.

Hope that helps, and hope you feel better soon.

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