Notifications
Clear all

Is My Family Lying To Me?

MemberMember
2481
(@wishclean)

Posted : 12/16/2013 7:51 pm

 

It's difficult for me to post this topic, but I need some advice because I feel like I'm in the twilght zone. I hadn't seen my family in 2 years because they live in a different conintent. This past year, my skin has gone from relatively clear to chaotic, and now it's almost clear again but I have tons of red marks, scarring, hyperpigmentation, and little holes all over my cheeks. SInce January of this year, I had been sending my family photos of my acne at its worse because I was hopeless as to what I could do about it, and they thought I was exaggerating. After seeing photos of my acne and scars, though, my family realized how serious my acne was and they tried to help me by sending me some money to go to doctors and get facials.

Anyway, now my skin has no active acne but it's filled with red marks, poke marks and some rolling scars that I can't even hide completely with makeup. However, as soon as I saw my family, they all made it a point to tell me that my skin looks good and they can't see any scarring or any hyperpigmentation (I have melasma under my eyes). Every relative and friend I saw so far while being home has made it a point to comment on my skin in a positve way, and my mom even suggested I may have been so traumatized by acne that now I have face dysmorphia. Literally, every person I see here will try to say something positive about my skin without me bringing it up...it looks too contrived.I don't know who is lying and who is being honest.

Is it possible that my whole family has agreed to lie to me about the severity of my scarring so that I won't be depressed? Has your family/ friends ever tried to minimize your skin's condition for the sake of not hurting your feelings?

I know I'm my own worst judge, but how can they not see all the scarring I have left from severe acne? They told me they can see red marks, but no scarring, and that with makeup my skin looks flawless. I find that very hard to believe...what do you guys think?

Quote
MemberMember
42
(@leadingforce)

Posted : 12/16/2013 8:33 pm

show me a picture and ill be real with it lol

Quote
MemberMember
2
(@mk04)

Posted : 12/16/2013 8:34 pm

Well.. how can we know for sure if you have no pictures up? lol exactly how bad was your "severe" acne?

If you can see it clearly yourself, then most likely others will be able to see it as well. But it can be possible that they don't see it as much as you do too. We (you and I in this case, or anyone that has undergone severe acne with hyperpigmentation and scars to prove it) probably think it's really bad because we often think about our acne a bit too much. Others may spend time looking at themselves for too long which inevitably (in my opinion) will make it look worse than it actually is.

Anyways, it's kind of hard to tell when I don't know how you look like.. And people around me just don't say anything lol

Quote
MemberMember
5
(@mazgan)

Posted : 12/17/2013 12:43 am

i can be real and honest if u show a detailed pic.

Quote
MemberMember
2481
(@wishclean)

Posted : 12/17/2013 4:35 am

I uploaded pics in chronological order...the last one is from back in October, but for some reason my red marks weren't that visible that day. I don't have my camera with me at the moment because I'm in a different country. The pics show how severe it was and how it destroyed my face. The indented scars don't show up in pics unfortunately.

And yes, I know that compared to others, my acne wasn't severely severe (my forehead was always clear), but it was the most aggressive acne I ever got in my life, so to me it looked pretty severe. Also, compared to most users on here, it was definitely on the severe end of the spectrum.

Quote
MemberMember
5
(@mazgan)

Posted : 12/17/2013 11:54 am

I uploaded pics in chronological order...the last one is from back in October, but for some reason my red marks weren't that visible that day. I don't have my camera with me at the moment because I'm in a different country. The pics show how severe it was and how it destroyed my face. The indented scars don't show up in pics unfortunately.

And yes, I know that compared to others, my acne wasn't severely severe (my forehead was always clear), but it was the most aggressive acne I ever got in my life, so to me it looked pretty severe. Also, compared to most users on here, it was definitely on the severe end of the spectrum.

https://imageshack.com/user/WishClean28

in ur last pic of oct 13 u only have a few marks here and there and in general u look just very close to 'normal' there.

thats what i think from that pic , maybe u might say its not detailed enough but then of course i cant comment on things i cant see. hope it helps.

Quote
Guest
0
(@Anonymous)

Posted : 12/17/2013 12:06 pm

in the last few photos you look fine, marks are barely noticeable :) hope this helps

Quote
MemberMember
2
(@mk04)

Posted : 12/17/2013 2:57 pm

It's not bad at all! You look great, really. Your family is definitely not lying to you haha. Like I said before, I think it's because you might have thought about it too much that made you come to such notion. Anyways, congrats on clearing your skin ~

Quote
MemberMember
96
(@hitea)

Posted : 12/17/2013 5:41 pm

Your family is not lying to you! :) Typically, people don't notice minute facial flaws that we might obsess over. I think your skin looks great and has a pretty color to it! Even if you do have red marks (that I can't see in that photo), I'm sure people consider that "normal," and they don't consider it bad skin. Your family is probably making it a point to tell you that your skin does indeed look nice because of the e-mails you sent worrying about your skin. It sounds like they're trying to increase your self-esteem, but also to tell you the truth! That's fantastic!

But I know where your insecurities are coming from. Usually when I'm breaking out, I put on a TON of makeup and then ask my mom if I look alright and she says "Your skin looks perfect! Blemish free! You're beautiful!" ....but I know they're visible. But even if they're visible, they're not as bad as I perceive them to be.

Also, if your mom mentioned that you could have a skewed perception of your own face, then I'm almost positive she's telling the truth about what she thinks of your skin! :D

Quote
MemberMember
3
(@leofernandez)

Posted : 12/17/2013 6:31 pm

Saw the pics, nope they are not lyring. Im being real honest

Quote
MemberMember
7
(@stella-the-diver)

Posted : 12/17/2013 8:23 pm

I have the exact same doubts, my mom also tells me that my skin's getting better and even my derm doesn't seem to think it's anything serious and shrugged it off, but then I'm seeing a new derm and she confirmed my doubts that I indeed have bad acne and scarring... sad.png

say whaatt, I can't even trust a professional doctor

I'm losing it!

Quote
MemberMember
2481
(@wishclean)

Posted : 12/19/2013 1:48 am

thank you all for your comments. @Stella, I have the same doubts as well because the doctors I saw all told me I would need fraxel to fix my scarring, so now I don't know what to think. Of course, they could be trying to make more money off of us, since they know we are already insecure about our skin.

I took a more recent photo for my log, here it is.... is the scarring more visible here? My face gets irritated when I take my makeup off, and also the cold weather makes my red marks more pronounced. (excuse the messy appearance, I always take these pics after workouts or when I'm bored)

Quote
MemberMember
72
(@alexanderj86)

Posted : 12/19/2013 9:46 am

thank you all for your comments. @Stella, I have the same doubts as well because the doctors I saw all told me I would need fraxel to fix my scarring, so now I don't know what to think. Of course, they could be trying to make more money off of us, since they know we are already insecure about our skin.

I took a more recent photo for my log, here it is.... is the scarring more visible here? My face gets irritated when I take my makeup off, and also the cold weather makes my red marks more pronounced. (excuse the messy appearance, I always take these pics after workouts or when I'm bored)

I find you very pretty. The marks are a bit noticeable, but I wouldn't see it as bad. You know, that is pretty much the thing regardless of how noticeable the acne and scarring is. I wouldn't think "Ah, what a stupid, ugly person! I don't want to hang out with her!".

Quote
MemberMember
4
(@markd343)

Posted : 12/19/2013 11:19 am

Being 100% honest compared to the other pics in the past your skin looks flawless. You got to look at it as a work in progress. And so far you've progressed dramatically. Healing is a long-term thing enjoy your new improved skin.

Quote
MemberMember
2481
(@wishclean)

Posted : 12/23/2013 5:47 am

thanks for your comments! :) You all understand what it's like to go through life-changing acne and come out on the other side....it always leaves scars -- physical and emotional -- behind. I haven't been as worried about my skin these past few days...I've just been enjoying spending time with family and friends. I hope you all have a happy xmas holiday :)

Quote