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scarcrash

Letting Go And Living With It

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To all those battling acne scarring, I can only say that the best thing for you to do is to seek some counseling on learning how to integrate this devastation into your life and learning how to live/cope with it. There is nothing to remove scars and there are no satisfactory treatments. Our scars are permanent, life-long, and there is nothing we can do to change that. All that we can do at this point is learn to change our perception of them through therapy. I tried to remove my scars for 15 years with a number of expensive treatments and failed to get even a slight improvement. Scarring is permanent, period. There is nothing that will restore your skin and there likely never will be. Treatments may become better, but scarring is permanent and will always remain. It is just the way nature works. I am covered with moderate scarring and all of the years of treatments did absolutely nothing. The scar revision industry is largely a scam. The doctors know that these treatment hardly work but they promote them as if they will deliver incredible results. They don't. So please, get psychological help. Acne scarring is aesthetic problem that leads to mental illness. If you don't catch it soon, you will descend into a hell that you cannot escape from. Seek help to learn to live with your facial scarring. It is really all that you have. Dreaming that your scars will be someday removed or even greatly improved will only lead to devastating disappointment and intractable depression.

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What exactly have you tried on your scars? Sorry you haven't had any success with your treatments. This journey (and it is a journey) is often full of setbacks, though there are some success stories on these boards. That said, I know exactly how frustrating it can be to spend lots of money and see minimal improvement.

Edited by blahblah82
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Truly accepting that the quality of your life has been lowered in a certain way is very difficult. Some people who suffer due to acne scarring think that they have less options in life than they actually have though.

Edited by Lapis lazuli
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What exactly have you tried on your scars? Sorry you haven't had any success with your treatments. This journey (and it is a journey) is often full of setbacks, though there are some success stories on these boards. That said, I know exactly how frustrating it can be to spend lots of money and see minimal improvement.

Edited by scarcrash
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I think it's wonderful that you aren't letting it hold you back in life. Keep strong. Hopefully soon there will be something that you discover that will really help your scarring.

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Yes, it is very difficult and I hazard to think that it would be nigh impossible to do on your own without professional counseling of some kind, be it cognitive behavioral therapy or another modality. Whether the restriction of life options are self-imposed or not, they are there nonetheless. Doubtless that some degree of dysmorphia does not afflict most acne scar sufferers. It is likely that many of us distort and inflate the extent of our damage and genuinely view it different than others. This involves a distortion of perception that may be ameliorated with some type of therapy.

It is truly all that we have. We can't change the irremediable damage that has been done to us. All we can change is our response to it and our relationship to it. Acne scar treatment, from a physical standpoint, is a dead end road. It is a biological impossibility. As long as you invest hope in your scars being successfully treated, you will be invariably let down. Learn the art of accepting what is there, rather than trying to fix what cannot be fixed.

I couldn't agree more. Well spoken.

Edited by Lapis lazuli
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omg, you couldnt be more wrong, eagerminer! people do not despise people with acne or acne scarring. that couldnt be further from the truth at all! i have never once came across anybody that was even remotely rude or mean to me even when i had bady cystic acne and i certainly dont encounter that now with having acne scarring. the fact that you think that people only are into looks is so sad to me and i think you really need to see somebody to get through all this anger that you have inside of you. yes the scarring sucks and yes it can really ruin your life but there are plenty of people out there that wont give two shits about it and will love you anyway. the fact that you think they wont is crazy to me! i dont think its your acne scars that you need to work on its you. you need to find happiness within yourself somehow.

one more thing: people on this site dont need to read stuff like this they are already fragile enough. being negative will get you nowhere and i think its sad that you would post something like this especially about your own mother.

Edited by tracy521
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I'm gonna move to Pittsburgh as it seems to be some kind of utopia there. Many people have been rude to me because of it. Many others have had similar experiences.

That said, being cynical is never good. I do feel that EagerMiner should lighten up a bit.

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I'm gonna move to Pittsburgh as it seems to be some kind of utopia there. Many people have been rude to me because of it. Many others have had similar experiences.

That said, being cynical is never good. I do feel that EagerMiner should lighten up a bit.

i dont know about that but i think its strange that anybody would mean to you over scarring. that is just so odd and makes no sense to me at all. even if i didnt have scarring i would be nicer and more sympathetic to people with scarring because i wouldnt want them to be sad about it.

omg, you couldnt be more wrong, eagerminer! people do not despise people with acne or acne scarring. that couldnt be further from the truth at all! i have never once came across anybody that was even remotely rude or mean to me even when i had bady cystic acne and i certainly dont encounter that now with having acne scarring. the fact that you think that people only are into looks is so sad to me and i think you really need to see somebody to get through all this anger that you have inside of you. yes the scarring sucks and yes it can really ruin your life but there are plenty of people out there that wont give two shits about it and will love you anyway. the fact that you think they wont is crazy to me! i dont think its your acne scars that you need to work on its you. you need to find happiness within yourself somehow.

one more thing: people on this site dont need to read stuff like this they are already fragile enough. being negative will get you nowhere and i think its sad that you would post something like this especially about your own mother.

If I had any other mother, I would have normal skin and not be considered a complete social outcast. Why should I respect someone who`s genetics cursed me into a life of neverending misery? It's not like I chose to become a pizza face, it was all in my genes. My sister also turned out the same, heavily scarred after years of acne.

Ever notice that most people with acne scars also have trouble making relationships? I've never seen someone in real life with acne act confident or be with a girl, they are always "shy".

i am not going to post much more on this topic but its not your mother's fault that you got acne and have scarring so to take it all out on her is unfair. i am not saying that with acne and scarring that you are going to be most confident person in the world but to let it influence your life so much that you cant make relationships is so strange to me. it sucks believe me i know that but i wouldnt let it deter me from going out and doing things and meeting new people or even asking somebody out on a date.

Edited by tracy521
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So seek to learn to live with scarring? Why not seek to improve facial aesthetics? Because I know for a fact it's remotely possible that you can improve your scarring ALOT. I've seen it on others and i've seen it with myself IN PERSON. So you don't have the right to take that faith away from other people or myself because it didn't work out for you. Some people survive a gunshot to the head you know.

Eagerminer: You sound like such a douchebag. Shame on you for saying what you have said. You're lucky you are alive and eating with your mouth. Kids in the middle eastern world are getting blown apart or dying of hunger right this second.

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So seek to learn to live with scarring? Why not seek to improve facial aesthetics? Because I know for a fact it's remotely possible that you can improve your scarring ALOT. I've seen it on others and i've seen it with myself IN PERSON. So you don't have the right to take that faith away from other people or myself because it didn't work out for you. Some people survive a gunshot to the head you know.

Eagerminer: You sound like such a douchebag. Shame on you for saying what you have said. You're lucky you are alive and eating with your mouth. Kids in the middle eastern world are getting blown apart or dying of hunger right this second.

http://www.acne.org/messageboard/topic/334883-how-i-got-rid-of-my-acne-scars/

Ok, but I don`t live in the middle east. I live in the developed world where most people have normal unscarred skin and don`t suffer from being a social leper. My environment around me is what dictates my relative status.

If I moved to the middle east now, then yes, I would feel better, but it isn`t happening any time soon.

Get some better friends. Based on your posts you hang around with an incredibly shallow douchebaggy bunch who have deformed your sense of reality.

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You're no worse than anyone else because you have some scars.

And I thought you said some friend told you to get more treatments done to your scars? It seemed like an incredibly rude thing to say. And your scarring isn't even that noticeable. I assume you're having such a hard time dealing with it because you're still young. I remember cursing my genes as well, but in the end that's all pointless and really not your parents' or anyone's fault.

Edited by austra
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Oh god. You really should be hanging with normal people and not others with an unhealthy obsession with looks and apparent body dysmorphic disorder. Seriously, I would never get rhinoplasty for a curved nose or think that someone would need it. That's really not how other people see you, people don't nitpick and look out for tiny flaws in others. For example my boyfriend has never thought any less of me despite me having acne and scars even though they're considered "worse" on a woman (and he's very honest to the point of taking it too far even, so he wouldn't just say that). I know media and the whole celebrity culture may make it seem like looks are all that matters, but that couldn't be further from reality and how most people really live their lives.

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So seek to learn to live with scarring? Why not seek to improve facial aesthetics? Because I know for a fact it's remotely possible that you can improve your scarring ALOT. I've seen it on others and i've seen it with myself IN PERSON. So you don't have the right to take that faith away from other people or myself because it didn't work out for you. Some people survive a gunshot to the head you know.

Yes, seek to learn to live with the scarring. Learning to integrate this into your life will ultimately be easier than altering the actual scarring itself, and will likely prove beneficial in other burdens in one's life. I'm glad for you that you have improved your scarring. While it may be possible for some to reach a degree of scar improvement that they are comfortable with, overall this is typically not possible for those afflicted with moderate+ scarring. From my decade and a half of treatments and my ceaseless research into peoples' experiences, I find that dissatisfaction and profound disappointment are the norm. Based upon this, I think it is more productive to reorientate one's perception of their scarring.

Edited by scarcrash
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So seek to learn to live with scarring? Why not seek to improve facial aesthetics? Because I know for a fact it's remotely possible that you can improve your scarring ALOT. I've seen it on others and i've seen it with myself IN PERSON. So you don't have the right to take that faith away from other people or myself because it didn't work out for you. Some people survive a gunshot to the head you know.

Yes, seek to learn to live with the scarring. Learning to integrate this into your life will ultimately be easier than altering the actual scarring itself, and will likely prove beneficial in other burdens in one's life. I'm glad for you that you have improved your scarring. While it may be possible for some to reach a degree of scar improvement that they are comfortable with, overall this is typically not possible. From my decade and a half of treatments and my ceaseless research into peoples' experiences, I find that dissatisfaction and profound disappointment are the norm. Based upon this, I think it is more productive to reorientate one's perception of their scarring.

I don't disagree with this myself, but I still think you should spend a good $10-20000 on the treatments anyway so you might be lucky with treatment success. There will be plenty of time to accept our inferior station in life after the treatments and accept lifelong celibacy and isolation.

Oh god. You really should be hanging with normal people and not others with an unhealthy obsession with looks and apparent body dysmorphic disorder. Seriously, I would never get rhinoplasty for a curved nose or think that someone would need it. That's really not how other people see you, people don't nitpick and look out for tiny flaws in others. For example my boyfriend has never thought any less of me despite me having acne and scars even though they're considered "worse" on a woman (and he's very honest to the point of taking it too far even, so he wouldn't just say that). I know media and the whole celebrity culture may make it seem like looks are all that matters, but that couldn't be further from reality and how most people really live their lives.

Big difference between women and men. A 400 lb woman is considered attractive these days, whereas men have to be perfect to be considered for dating. My mother and sister apply makeup to hide their scars for a reason. As a 23 year old who hasn't ever even been on a date, I can say with confidence that looks are everything in western society, especially for a male. Nobody cares about the unattractive nerd who has a good job and is a good person, women will do anything for the 6'3" deadbeat with blue eyes and a square jaw. Look around you and accept reality. Luckily you aren't male, you're set for life already.

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There will be plenty of time to accept our inferior station in life after the treatments and accept lifelong celibacy and isolation.

Eagerminer, with all due respect, I think you may be misunderstanding what I am saying. I am not talking about accepting this in terms of fatalistic resignation. I am talking about a deeper level of acceptance that will likely need to be fostered with some type of counseling or therapy as well as meditation. Personally, I recommend CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) in concert with mindfulness meditation. Hence, there would no longer be isolating behaviors if you and your therapist were able to change your self-limiting beliefs which has undoubtedly resulted in an immensely negative perception that you have of yourself. Edited by scarcrash
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Better to avoid society as much as possible, because they do care about acne scars.

But, what if you learned that it is possible for you not to care about acne scars. And what if, after learning this and gaining a fresh perspective, you realized that maybe others' do not, in fact, care about it as much as you had perceived. Do you think this may be a possibility?

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This is getting no where. It's really upsetting seeing people post these threads. Treating scars is possible.

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Lets not be conformist now.

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