Throughout my teenage ,right to my adulthood ,iv'e been diffident.First it was teenage obesity then it was acne.Varied reasons for perpetual mortification.Apart from the 6-7 male friends i have at college,i have NO other friends.I'm virtually devoid of any emotional I.Q whatsoever.I'm 21 and never had female contact of ANY kind.
I have acute social anxiety.It affects my demeanor,my confidence,my gait ,everything!
Yes i hate my life sometimes.
I never had a date.
I'm not desperate for it...but life would have been better if i had one.
Life stinks sometimes.
:/
I think I had it to some degree before developing acne but my acne definitely exacerbated it severely, to the point where I've avoided leaving the house for months on end sometimes. I can't use a telephone, can't ask anyone where something is in a shop, can't walk round a supermarket without hyperventilating slightly, can't speak to strangers without my hands shaking and stumbling over my words, and basically can't handle daily life without it feeling utterly traumatic. Like the above poster, I'm 21 and have never had a relationship of any kind. I don't have any friends in real life who I can open up to or confide in because over the years I've gradually pushed everyone away by constantly declining invites to social events and generally being unhealthily reclusive and cold. It's an unbelievably lonely way to live but at least it feels "safe" if you know what I mean.
So yeh, acne and social anxiety are a really destructive combination!
I think I had it to some degree before developing acne but my acne definitely exacerbated it severely, to the point where I've avoided leaving the house for months on end sometimes. I can't use a telephone, can't ask anyone where something is in a shop, can't walk round a supermarket without hyperventilating slightly, can't speak to strangers without my hands shaking and stumbling over my words, and basically can't handle daily life without it feeling utterly traumatic. Like the above poster, I'm 21 and have never had a relationship of any kind. I don't have any friends in real life who I can open up to or confide in because over the years I've gradually pushed everyone away by constantly declining invites to social events and generally being unhealthily reclusive and cold. It's an unbelievably lonely way to live but at least it feels "safe" if you know what I mean.
So yeh, acne and social anxiety are a really destructive combination!
I am absolutely exactly the same! The problem with me is, I'm kind of good at masking my social anxiety (basically by being "funny" with people, like joking around, and feigning interest in whatever's happening). I see that as a problem because it's only covering up the anxiety, not really making me any better. And also, for people who don't know me well, they think that is my natural self ... so when I'm having an off day I probably come off as a total jerk because I tend to ignore everyone.
I was super super shy and anxious as a child (stuttering, shaking when talking to strangers, never looking anyone in the eye.. even with my own family), but over time I got over those problems and I was becoming quite confident in public. Acne basically wiped out those years of progress.
Now that my acne is "in remission" I can feel some self confidence coming back. Being shy and reclusive is very "safe" like you say, but I'm getting more and more depressed with it. Lately I've been trying to get to know people (going to at night, etc.) but it seems kind of empty to me (I guess being alone all the time has led me to philosophical thinking about life and made me want more significant social interactions lol).
I keep waiting for a boyfriend to come along so I'll have someone to "help me"out of my shyness and reclusiveness... sounds weird, but I think anyone like me would understand.
I am absolutely exactly the same! The problem with me is, I'm kind of good at masking my social anxiety (basically by being "funny" with people, like joking around, and feigning interest in whatever's happening). I see that as a problem because it's only covering up the anxiety, not really making me any better. And also, for people who don't know me well, they think that is my natural self ... so when I'm having an off day I probably come off as a total jerk because I tend to ignore everyone.
I was super super shy and anxious as a child (stuttering, shaking when talking to strangers, never looking anyone in the eye.. even with my own family), but over time I got over those problems and I was becoming quite confident in public. Acne basically wiped out those years of progress.
Now that my acne is "in remission" I can feel some self confidence coming back. Being shy and reclusive is very "safe" like you say, but I'm getting more and more depressed with it. Lately I've been trying to get to know people (going to at night, etc.) but it seems kind of empty to me (I guess being alone all the time has led me to philosophical thinking about life and made me want more significant social interactions lol).
I keep waiting for a boyfriend to come along so I'll have someone to "help me"out of my shyness and reclusiveness... sounds weird, but I think anyone like me would understand.
I can relate so well to this. I've been through phases where I've tried the "act it till you feel it" kind of mentality and pretended to be much more confident than I am to mask the anxiety underneath but I decided quite a while ago now that this was pointless and not making me feel any better.
It's good that your acne is under control and you're getting some of your confidence back. Putting yourself out there is the only way to expand your social circle but I know it can be a really daunting prospect. I blame social anxiety in a large part for my depression as well and as the anxiety's just getting worse and worse the depression is unfortunately following suit. Maybe one day things will get better.
I definitely understand your comment about waiting for a boyfriend to come along and pull you out of your shy world. I used to feel like that a lot as well, before I gave up hope of it ever happening. In the end I think you have to just work on yourself because that's the only way to actually solve the problem for good and not be reliant on another person for your mental wellbeing. Personally I take the view that I have a lot of things I need to fix in myself before I can expect someone else to love me (although this may just be denial on my part and a way to reason why nobody has ever taken that kind of interest in me before).
Anyway, it sounds like you're taking some positive steps in the right direction so I really hope things improve for you soon. 
I definitely understand your comment about waiting for a boyfriend to come along and pull you out of your shy world. I used to feel like that a lot as well, before I gave up hope of it ever happening. In the end I think you have to just work on yourself because that's the only way to actually solve the problem for good and not be reliant on another person for your mental wellbeing. Personally I take the view that I have a lot of things I need to fix in myself before I can expect someone else to love me (although this may just be denial on my part and a way to reason why nobody has ever taken that kind of interest in me before).
Lots of guys probably have taken an interest except they may have been shy as well. I personally have a crush on about ten women (seriously) right know but about...seven of them don't know this. 
There's a lot going on in people that you never find out about...
Yep, I very rarely go out of the house in the last 2 years, at first, my friends kept on inviting me out, to the parties etc., but eventually they stopped. I don't feel comfortable going 5 minutes to a store, let alone socialize with people. I waited for like a month while on antibiotics to get a "good face day" so I can go and get a haircut, spent 15 minutes on that chair feeling the most ugly person in the world, just wanted to get the hell out of there asap and never come back. It's hell. The saddest thing is that I used to go out a lot before this pos disease. I loved partying, talking to people, I even had girls liking me. Long gone, though.
Yep, I very rarely go out of the house in the last 2 years, at first, my friends kept on inviting me out, to the parties etc., but eventually they stopped. I don't feel comfortable going 5 minutes to a store, let alone socialize with people. I waited for like a month while on antibiotics to get a "good face day" so I can go and get a haircut, spent 15 minutes on that chair feeling the most ugly person in the world, just wanted to get the hell out of there asap and never come back. It's hell. The saddest thing is that I used to go out a lot before this pos disease. I loved partying, talking to people, I even had girls liking me. Long gone, though.
I remember getting haircuts with bad acne, horrible. I feel you're pain, 20 mins of constant embarrassment. One time the barber accidently burst one of my spots, cringe, haha. Have you thought about isotretinoin? I was in the same situation as you, in my opinion the pro's out way the con's.
I think I had it to some degree before developing acne but my acne definitely exacerbated it severely, to the point where I've avoided leaving the house for months on end sometimes. I can't use a telephone, can't ask anyone where something is in a shop, can't walk round a supermarket without hyperventilating slightly, can't speak to strangers without my hands shaking and stumbling over my words, and basically can't handle daily life without it feeling utterly traumatic. Like the above poster, I'm 21 and have never had a relationship of any kind. I don't have any friends in real life who I can open up to or confide in because over the years I've gradually pushed everyone away by constantly declining invites to social events and generally being unhealthily reclusive and cold. It's an unbelievably lonely way to live but at least it feels "safe" if you know what I mean.
So yeh, acne and social anxiety are a really destructive combination!
I used to be like that, but luckily it went away. Which I'm sure it will do with you... I know you probably get told that alot. Just try and keep your head up.
I used to be like that, but luckily it went away. Which I'm sure it will do with you... I know you probably get told that alot. Just try and keep your head up.
Yeh I always try to tell myself that, but so far it's just got worse by the year. Good to hear it went away for you though!
I was shy growing up, hated social gatherings. Had 1 friend until 6th grade. Then got popular and noticed..in class of 35 kids (only took 6 years).
I went from nobody, to somebody that everyone liked and wanted to be around by 8th/9th grade. I was where many here wish to be. (But i do not regret it now. Its made me humble).
Then i moved. It was a stressul move and i was not for it (as you can see why). I developed acne that lead to social anxiety within months. It was not as bad senior year of school, but still was theie. It got worse after i graduated partially because a divorce in the family.
It has taken some extreme courage man, some brass balls, and lots of swallowing pride.So much i am tearing up just remembering how it was. I had to walk into an interview that would decide my life and I had to pretend it (my face) was perfect so that I may act on my long time dream of becoming a nurse. If i would not have been accepted, 1) i would have blamed it on my face 2) I would not be here to type this message today.
Its easy to let it control you as it will take over if you don't fight it. Its hard to get back that sense of "you" that you lose because of acne. It also takes alot of acceptance. I had months were i would be clear and then not so much. I decided to accept this was my fate- had no time to worry then about my looks (school>face).
But ultimately, you decide. You. Not it. Its hard as you can see. Extremely. But the good people in this world will see you for who you are and admire your strength. Ignore those that cannot see this or make hurtful comments for they do not understand.
With the help of a very special girl who to this day is extremely accepting. I believe I have reclaimed "me" again. "Me" was lost for 5 years; feels only like yesterday- living it felt like eternity.
Next to best of all is that I became licensed this past August. Wow...
For those of you suffering with SA have you guys ever worked in customer service jobs? I had bad SA not cause of acne but because of my teeth when I was younger but as soon as I got into CS jobs my bosses slapped that right out of me. I feel like if you have SA because of a physical trait- then do you really have SA? I don't think I ever really had SA because it went away once I had my teeth fixed and got into CS jobs. I feel like actual SA is not caused by a physical trait you have but is there for no reason at all. I could be wrong and I apologize if I am but I once through the internet became friends with a youtuber that had posted a video about Social Anxiety. He was perfectly a normal guy, no acne, not over weight and even in my opinion good looking but he had severe social anxiety that caused him to live alone and be alone all of the time.
In my opinion with those of you who think you have SA because of acne, you really don't have it and it will eventually go away. It's like that one person you know that gets a zit like once every year- they don't have acne, they just get a zit once a year.
I think ive alwa had anxiety. Ill do odd things like mutter to myself when im in a crOwded place because I get very nervous. Im not sure that it is 'classic' SA because i dont usually hide from things because of it (altho i used to when i was young). Aside from acne im a normal looking person, so when my skin isnt bothering me as much i feel less anxious in public.
When my skin was super bad I once or twice skipped out on school and social events. Basically i felt so shittyabout that that I never let it happen again.
Yep , it has been ruining my life really . I used to be popular and hang out everyday , then once i turned 18 and got severe acne i cant even take the bus anymore without feeling like everyone is staring at my face , i hate to be face to face to someone and the thing that kills me the most is that i barely go outside, im scared to go to the store that 2 minutes away from my house , or i cant go outside with my dog without putting on some makeup to cover up my scars/acne .
Sometimes i think i overreact , but then someone always has to come up , my family members or my classmates and say something like : Oh you'r skin is looking slighty better today , and instead of taking it as compliment i get depressed and mad .
Thing that has helped me alot with SA is really just sports or any kind of activity , before i would go to the gym alot but i cannot anymore because of my acne , so i try to go running in the mornings before anyone shows up on the streets , or i do some yoga 
I think the thing that developed my SA is mainly that for some reason EVERYONE around me has clear skin , and everyday i just go to college looking at all my friends and people around me having clear skin . Well it just sucks i could write about it for hours ...
Man, after reading all these posts I know I'm not alone with this. I too have become extremely socially awkward around people because of my acne and right now I have only 1 friend left (from high school, graduaded four years ago). I'm on accutane right now, so I'm hoping this will make things better.
I too have never had a boyfriend in my life (boys always told me how ugly I was) and I'm 25. For the first years of adolescence my family kept asking me "Do you have a boyfriend now?", "Why do you still not have a boyfriend?" but by now they've stopped. I guess they've given up on me. I'm like that girl from "My big fat greek wedding".
Man, after reading all these posts I know I'm not alone with this. I too have become extremely socially awkward around people because of my acne and right now I have only 1 friend left (from high school, graduaded four years ago). I'm on accutane right now, so I'm hoping this will make things better.
I too have never had a boyfriend in my life (boys always told me how ugly I was) and I'm 25. For the first years of adolescence my family kept asking me "Do you have a boyfriend now?", "Why do you still not have a boyfriend?" but by now they've stopped. I guess they've given up on me. I'm like that girl from "My big fat greek wedding".
You are not ugly. In fact, I still haven't seen any ugly girls on this board.
theres this guy on one other forum who used to be like creepy quiet guy in the class and like month ago he was terrified of talking to people but now suddenly he can talk to absolutely anyone without any problems at all! o.o its like magic. and what i took notice of is that he said he used to have acne but now its gone so its not hopeless, people. i personally think tho it depends how long you had it, if you had it and acne long enough you wont get rid of it that soon but thats just how i think :T
Yep, I very rarely go out of the house in the last 2 years, at first, my friends kept on inviting me out, to the parties etc., but eventually they stopped. I don't feel comfortable going 5 minutes to a store, let alone socialize with people. I waited for like a month while on antibiotics to get a "good face day" so I can go and get a haircut, spent 15 minutes on that chair feeling the most ugly person in the world, just wanted to get the hell out of there asap and never come back. It's hell. The saddest thing is that I used to go out a lot before this pos disease. I loved partying, talking to people, I even had girls liking me. Long gone, though.
I remember getting haircuts with bad acne, horrible. I feel you're pain, 20 mins of constant embarrassment. One time the barber accidently burst one of my spots, cringe, haha. Have you thought about isotretinoin? I was in the same situation as you, in my opinion the pro's out way the con's.
Lol ! Yes, getting haircuts are the worst. You have this huge mirror in front of you and where else can you stare at but at your own face? The barber bursting your pimple reminds me of the time when I used to have braces. Imagine having a chin full of spots and some with whiteheads. My orthodontist had his hands all over and inside my mouth area and of course he bursted a few by accident, and I remember him wiping the pus off... 
Yep, I very rarely go out of the house in the last 2 years, at first, my friends kept on inviting me out, to the parties etc., but eventually they stopped. I don't feel comfortable going 5 minutes to a store, let alone socialize with people. I waited for like a month while on antibiotics to get a "good face day" so I can go and get a haircut, spent 15 minutes on that chair feeling the most ugly person in the world, just wanted to get the hell out of there asap and never come back. It's hell. The saddest thing is that I used to go out a lot before this pos disease. I loved partying, talking to people, I even had girls liking me. Long gone, though.
I remember getting haircuts with bad acne, horrible. I feel you're pain, 20 mins of constant embarrassment. One time the barber accidently burst one of my spots, cringe, haha. Have you thought about isotretinoin? I was in the same situation as you, in my opinion the pro's out way the con's.
Lol ! Yes, getting haircuts are the worst. You have this huge mirror in front of you and where else can you stare at but at your own face? The barber bursting your pimple reminds me of the time when I used to have braces. Imagine having a chin full of spots and some with whiteheads. My orthodontist had his hands all over and inside my mouth area and of course he bursted a few by accident, and I remember him wiping the pus off...
Haha yeah that story tops mine, however the barber did just cover the spot over with my fringe. Kinda weird atmosphere after, because he knew what he'd done, he must of known I knew, but not a word was spoke about it...
Having acne does make the easilest things in life socially awkward.
Yes... I have absolutely ZERO confidence without makeup on. With makeup on to cover up my scars and active acne, I get hit on quite a bit and I have some confidence, but as soon as the makeup comes off (or if it's so bad it can't be covered), I can't bare to look people in the eyes. I hate going out. I refuse to go to any event where people will look at me, or where pictures will be taken. I turn down dates, and as soon as I start to get close to someone, I push them away, in fear of them being disgusted with the way I look without makeup. I hate it. I feel like my acne is holding me hostage......and it's pathetic.
Acne definitely triggered social anxiety for me. Like so many others on here before acne I had a normal social life, but after a few years of acne problems I'm now very shy and have virtually no social life to speak of. At one point the anxiety was so bad I would actually crisscross the street as I was walking to avoid people looking at my face. For me the anxiety issues have been by far the worst symptom of my acne and unfortunately it's proving very hard to fix.
That being said.....I've found that by taking small steps to put myself in "harms way" now means I have far better control over the anxiety. It can be something as small as answering a question in class or continuing small talk with a check out operator. I still feel quite nervous in a lot of social situations but it is slowly getting easier and I'm doing things I would never have dared to earlier on in the year.
Of course it would be nice if the acne would just go away 