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Anjunatom

Telling My Gf I Had An Issue With My Acne.

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Hi everyone, I'm Tom.

I've mostly been a lurker on these forums for a few years but I have something that I need advice on regarding acne and relationships.

I've currently been with my girlfriend for around 5 months, it's really good, etc, and there are no problems with the relationship. Despite this, i'm incredibly insecure about myself and my acne. I do my best to hide these insecurities but lately it's been getting worse.

My girlfriend is extremely good looking for perfect skin (i've not been one blemish on it within the 5 month period) whereas I have mild/moderate acne which fluctuates daily. I'm on oral antibiotics and DUAC but i'm thinking the oral antibiotics have stopped working.

The thing is, i'm getting obsessed with my skin. This purely because i'm terrified she'll see me when its bad and think, 'why am I with this guy and his acne?' She's never mentioned it to me, and I never have to her but I'm feeling that maybe I should bring it up in conversation.

There are a couple of reasons I haven't so far:

1. I don't want to bring any unwanted attention to it ( she's obviously seen it though)

2. I don't want to expose that I have a weakness about something like this.

At the moment i'm literally looking in mirrors constantly. I'll go back and forth to one about 30-40 times a day purely to check my skin. Even when i'm driving I have the rear view mirror pointing at my so I can examine.

I guess the point of the thread is to ask whether I should bring this up with my girlfriend, and, how I should go about it?

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She is your girlfriend. She has very likely seen your skin closer than you in all kinds of lights, she KNOWS you have acne. She also knows everybody has weaknesses , and I guess she os clever enough to know that you will have a few too. So if this bothers you, talk to her about it. If talking to her about this changes your relationship in a negative way ( be it a problem with the acne itselfvor with your " weakness") there would not have been any long- term future for thos relationship anyway.

While most girls are very obsessed with their own skin, many girls and women do not care too much about acne or scarring in guys.

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I agree with the last post. She knows you have acne and has seen it so opening up about it shouldn't be a problem. I have openly talked to my past girlfriends about my acne and how I feel about it and they have been supportive and understanding. If you do talk to her about it your relationship shouldn't really change. I mean you two should be closer afterwards since you shared a vulnerability with her.

If she doesn't respond well then... Yeah things probably wouldn't have worked out long term anyways. I know thats not what you want to hear but in the end it would be for the better to find that out now.

A lot of the times we overthink things and when we actually talk about it or finally say it we realize it really wasn't that big of a deal. Just go for it man.

Good luck! :)

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I had the exact same problem as you in my past relationship which ended a few years ago. The girl I was with had flawless skin. As for me I had a little bit of acne, but not too servere. Eventually i started to become obssessed with my skin to the point where i would cancel our dates. Acne was never a topic in our conversations. Its like she doesnt even notice it at all. Looking back at pictures of myself in the past I now realized that my skin wasnt really that bad. (Especially compared to now) The thing is I was too insercure to talk about it with her. I kinda just let it bottled up inside me. I was thinking of starting this conversation with her but days turns into weeks and weeks turns into months. In the end I could never bring myself to tell her. Eventually my insercurites costed my relationship. Till this day I still regret not having enough courage to spark that conversation. If i could go back in time I would probably man up and tell her. Maybe if i did we would still be together right now... Unfortunately i can't replay the past. Im not saying that this will happen to you cause chances are it wont. What i'm saying is dont let your insecurities get the best of you.

All the best.

Edited by IWishIHadClearSkin
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say it too her dude, she wont mind, but dont sound too upset when talking to her about it, the last thing you wanna do is scare her off because she feels you care more about your skin than you care about her. and if your skin isnt too bad stop looking at the mirror, your happiest days will come when you dont look at the mirror at all :)

best wishes

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if you bring it up to her, which i recommend you do, there's a small chance she'll consider your skin insecurities as a weakness. i don't think i've ever heard any woman in conversations i've had say, "when a man admits he has insecurities about the way he looks, it makes him appear weak." if anything, she will relate to you in the sense that our society puts a lot of pressure on girls to look a certain way. in the conversation, you don't have to go into depth about how bad your acne makes you feel unless you want to. you can say that it affects you negatively, and that you're exploring new treatments. if she doesn't understand, there's a lot of vaginas out there. i've spent too much time in the past on meaningless relationships with the opposite sex. don't do it; it's just not worth the headache when there is a good chance you will meet someone who is not bothered by your skin : )

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lol i'm not advocating womanizing, i just think having regret is difficult. looking back, and wishing you would have moved on so much sooner.

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lol i'm not advocating womanizing, i just think having regret is difficult. looking back, and wishing you would have moved on so much sooner.

Just loved how that popped up in there so non-chalantly. awesome

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I think it'll actually bring you guys closer to each other because sharing something so personal takes a lot of trust. I've done it with my boyfriend, and I really feel like I can trust him with everything since I can trust him with my skin issues (which are the root cause of my low self-esteem).

Also I hope your rear view mirror still points at the traffic behind you because I'd hate to think you die in a car crash because you were too busy looking at your skin (in a non-offensive tone in case this comes off as rude sorryyyyy)

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